This may be too much!

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Mirror Mirror:
Lexee,

I believe that I heard you on the radio today as I was waiting on hold.

Dr. Ray gave you some GREAT advice. I hope that all is well and if you follow what he told you, I think that you are going to continue to go in the right direction. I think that he has reconfirmed what you have been feeling and been praying about.

God Bless you and your baby.
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Thank you, and yes I did make that call this morning. It just seems things keep piling on and thought he may have some words of wisdom for me. I really enjoy listening to him and the advice he gives. He pretty much gave me the same support and advice that I’ve been getting here, everyone here has the right idea which is precisely why I come here. Thanks to everyone, for the hugs and prayers, they certainly are coming in handy.
 
Hello again everyone, just had a quick question. I’m feeling a bit concerned with myself…I have put all of this in God’s and the Blessed Mother’s hands and am praying to accept His will whatever it may be, but I’m worried that I may be in denial. I’m afraid that as I keep praying and keep my hopes up that if the worst happens I’ll absolutely lose it.

I got a call from my midwife today letting me know that they are handing my care over to the fetal something specialists because no one there has ever dealt with this, these other people deal with high risk pregnancies, I guess that’s what I’m considered now. She also suggested that I make an appointment with the specialist over at Children’s Memorial, anyway, am I in denial?

I don’t even want to have another ultrasound because I don’t want to hear anymore bad news, or if things are getting worse with the baby. I almost just want to move on with the pregnancy no ultrasounds, no testing, no anything…and just see what happens when the baby is born, is that selfish of me, or unreasonable to want? I have moments where I am really afraid, especially as I feel my little Fatima moving and kicking…she just loves to put her feet under my ribs :rotfl:, as if she knows that I can’t even bend over when she does that, afraid that I won’t get anymore time with her except for this. I know that I should be greatful and thankful for this time and I am, but I can’t help wanting more, how do I move on from these feelings and am I in denial, not dealing with this properly or is it losing faith (which I don’t want to do)?
 
Lexee,

You wouln’t be doing Fatima any good if the Dr’s are unable to care for her properly. Keep up with your reccomended tests/appt’s.

Make sure everyone in the new practice knows you will carry this baby to term, no matter what. Be strong, forceful if necessary.

Enjoy your time with her in utero, start keeping a journal of your experiences with her while pregnant, what you want to tell her. Happy, sad, it dosen’t matter.

You are feeling NORMAL feelings. Don’t be afraid of them, or try and run from them.

Collect some momentos of your time together, a pink teddy bear that you lay on your tummy while you talk to her, a copy of the sheet music for the songs you sing to her and ultrasound pictures (or a vhs video of the ultrasound, if they have that capability) and a tape recording of her sonogram heartbeat. Gather a few things for a hospital baptism you can keep. Have someone take a picture of you, tummy and all, every few weeks. (Pictures of you, your son and Fatima in your tummy as well).

Pray, keep faith, and hope for the best. If the Lord chooses to take her, trust Him give you the strength to bear it at that time. You don’t feel like you could go through that pain now, b/c you are not “directly” experiencing that pain right now. If it happens, the grace to bear it will also happen.

In the meantime, she is ALIVE. Educate yourself on what they think the problem is, find out treatment options, etc. ( If your child was born, and had problems, what would you do?) She needs you to be involved, be knowledgeable for her. Sure, try you best to relax, rest, and eat well, but be her advocate in this. SHE NEEDS YOU NOW. The future will take care of itself, do what you can for her today. 🙂
 
Lexee, (((:love: )))–I understand your being afraid to hear any bad news, but you need to do whatever is needed to give your little girl the best possible start in life. By knowing these Doctors can have specialist on hand as she is born to help her as soon as possible, instead of losing precious time. Although my son’s problem was not life threathing, I wanted to just hide from the world with my baby as if love could make him normal. My dear sister, God Rest her Soul, snapped me back into reality, took me to the Specialized Childrens Clinic, I got the help for him, then she dragged me to her Pastor and made me stop blaming God and questioning why He hated me and my baby. Be rest assured that God has His Plan for your Baby, we may not understand what it is now, but He knows. Siena has very good advice. :blessyou: Kay
 
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