Thoughts on dating someone of a different religion

[Lord_Servant]

What are your thoughts of dating someone who is of a different religion than you and you don’t always agree in what they believe in? Should you pursue the relationship or let go?
I have my friend who is a dating a protestant and both of them stick to their religion.But my friend was asking me how he should do.Any suggestion

 

[LaMusicaSenior]

Christ tells us to be equally yoked. It is incredibly hard to grow spiritually as a couple to get each other to Heaven when there is conflict in religion. It’s also hard to raise Catholic kids in that kind of enviroment.

 

[Lord_Servant]

Christ tells us to be equally yoked. It is incredibly hard to grow spiritually as a couple to get each other to Heaven when there is conflict in religion. It’s also hard to raise Catholic kids in that kind of enviroment.

Yeah ,the fact is that if in a family there is conflict of religion ,how will the family raise the children,also there would also be a lot of conflict not just at the level of children but on many other things.Well for me i am a Catholic for life and would like to raise my children as Catholic for life if God gives me .So if i date a woman ,i will propose her to convert to Catholic if she is not and the rest is up to her.The idea is that i want someone who will have the same beleif as me so as to raise our kids in the same direction.But any way this is a difficult subject.More suggestions are welcome

 

[skigirl1689]

It has worked for a lot of couples in my family, including my parents. The Catholics who married protestants, their spouses either converted or allowed their children to be raised Catholic. My dad does not practice any organized religion but he is Christian so my mom raised us Lutheran.

I dislike when Protestantism is viewed as a totally different religion, because we do follow Christ. When my mom announced she was marrying my dad, my uncle freaked out because he was raised Catholic…I still get the feeling he really dislikes my dad.

I personally would really think about it before doing it but it can and does work for some people and no one should condemn/judge them.

 

[Lord_Servant]

It has worked for a lot of couples in my family, including my parents. The Catholics who married protestants, their spouses either converted or allowed their children to be raised Catholic. My dad does not practice any organized religion but he is Christian so my mom raised us Lutheran.

I dislike when Protestantism is viewed as a totally different religion, because we do follow Christ. When my mom announced she was marrying my dad, my uncle freaked out because he was raised Catholic…I still get the feeling he really dislikes my dad.

I personally would really think about it before doing it but it can and does work for some people and no one should condemn/judge them.

No one is judging anyone,what we are trying to say is that there is a possibility of having a lot of problems in your marriage if you don’t consider that.And by the way ,we are not saying that Protestant dont pray God instead we are saying that the belief is different and for me what i think is that a couple need to decide on one religion only.I live in a house not my house but a host house where they are protestant and i am a Catholic but on sundays each person take the road that brings him to his Chruch.I don’t think that is the kind of life you will want for you and your children .In marriage we all become one body.

 

[Kit15]

Don’t enter into it lightly. Many marriages don’t discover their crosses until later on. You will know yours from the beginning. Never treat it lightly with some “love conquers all” sentiment. Love does indeed conquer all…but not without some very difficult conversations and lots of prayer. Never EVER get married in hopes that the person will one day convert. If you can’t get married as is, then don’t.

On the flip side don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. I do truly think some non-Catholics are worth it and both *can *help each other get to Heaven. I married a man who was honest, loyal, who I have great chemistry with, chaste before and after the wedding, and would be the first to ask me to reconsider should I even think about leaving the Church. He’s also a lapsed Episcopalian.

 

[Regina_Love]

I waited till I found a wonderful Catholic Man to marry. 27 years of holdin hands in church, raisin our kids in harmony. Encouraging each other to live the faith. There is a beauty in shared faith, a peace, and sense of unity… It’s lovely.

 

[daisybee]

From the Catechism:

Mixed marriages and disparity of cult

1633 In many countries the situation of a mixed marriage (marriage between a Catholic and a baptized non-Catholic) often arises. It requires particular attention on the part of couples and their pastors. A case of marriage with disparity of cult (between a Catholic and a non-baptized person) requires even greater circumspection.

1634 Difference of confession between the spouses does not constitute an insurmountable obstacle for marriage, when they succeed in placing in common what they have received from their respective communities, and learn from each other the way in which each lives in fidelity to Christ. But the difficulties of mixed marriages must not be underestimated. They arise from the fact that the separation of Christians has not yet been overcome. The spouses risk experiencing the tragedy of Christian disunity even in the heart of their own home. Disparity of cult can further aggravate these difficulties. Differences about faith and the very notion of marriage, but also different religious mentalities, can become sources of tension in marriage, especially as regards the education of children. The temptation to religious indifference can then arise.

1635 According to the law in force in the Latin Church, a mixed marriage needs for liceity the express permission of ecclesiastical authority.137 In case of disparity of cult an express dispensation from this impediment is required for the validity of the marriage.138 This permission or dispensation presupposes that both parties know and do not exclude the essential ends and properties of marriage; and furthermore that the Catholic party confirms the obligations, which have been made known to the non-Catholic party, of preserving his or her own faith and ensuring the baptism and education of the children in the Catholic Church.139

1636 Through ecumenical dialogue Christian communities in many regions have been able to put into effect a common pastoral practice for mixed marriages. Its task is to help such couples live out their particular situation in the light of faith, overcome the tensions between the couple’s obligations to each other and towards their ecclesial communities, and encourage the flowering of what is common to them in faith and respect for what separates them.

1637 In marriages with disparity of cult the Catholic spouse has a particular task: "For the unbelieving husband is consecrated through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is consecrated through her husband."140 It is a great joy for the Christian spouse and for the Church if this “consecration” should lead to the free conversion of the other spouse to the Christian faith.141 Sincere married love, the humble and patient practice of the family virtues, and perseverance in prayer can prepare the non-believing spouse to accept the grace of conversion.

 

[Lord_Servant]

From the Catechism:

Mixed marriages and disparity of cult

1633 In many countries the situation of a mixed marriage (marriage between a Catholic and a baptized non-Catholic) often arises. It requires particular attention on the part of couples and their pastors. A case of marriage with disparity of cult (between a Catholic and a non-baptized person) requires even greater circumspection.

1634 Difference of confession between the spouses does not constitute an insurmountable obstacle for marriage, when they succeed in placing in common what they have received from their respective communities, and learn from each other the way in which each lives in fidelity to Christ. But the difficulties of mixed marriages must not be underestimated. They arise from the fact that the separation of Christians has not yet been overcome. The spouses risk experiencing the tragedy of Christian disunity even in the heart of their own home. Disparity of cult can further aggravate these difficulties. Differences about faith and the very notion of marriage, but also different religious mentalities, can become sources of tension in marriage, especially as regards the education of children. The temptation to religious indifference can then arise.

1635 According to the law in force in the Latin Church, a mixed marriage needs for liceity the express permission of ecclesiastical authority.137 In case of disparity of cult an express dispensation from this impediment is required for the validity of the marriage.138 This permission or dispensation presupposes that both parties know and do not exclude the essential ends and properties of marriage; and furthermore that the Catholic party confirms the obligations, which have been made known to the non-Catholic party, of preserving his or her own faith and ensuring the baptism and education of the children in the Catholic Church.139

1636 Through ecumenical dialogue Christian communities in many regions have been able to put into effect a common pastoral practice for mixed marriages. Its task is to help such couples live out their particular situation in the light of faith, overcome the tensions between the couple’s obligations to each other and towards their ecclesial communities, and encourage the flowering of what is common to them in faith and respect for what separates them.

1637 In marriages with disparity of cult the Catholic spouse has a particular task: "For the unbelieving husband is consecrated through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is consecrated through her husband."140 It is a great joy for the Christian spouse and for the Church if this “consecration” should lead to the free conversion of the other spouse to the Christian faith.141 Sincere married love, the humble and patient practice of the family virtues, and perseverance in prayer can prepare the non-believing spouse to accept the grace of conversion.

Amen and thanks for this.

 

[Wiseowl]

Hard to say so trust your heart and mind.

I have seen plenty of great Catholic / Protestant marriages. As well plenty terrible Catholic marriages when both parents were same faith. And vice versa for both.

It’s a mixed bag for sure.

 

[skigirl1689]

No one is judging anyone,what we are trying to say is that there is a possibility of having a lot of problems in your marriage if you don’t consider that.And by the way ,we are not saying that Protestant dont pray God instead we are saying that the belief is different and for me what i think is that a couple need to decide on one religion only.I live in a house not my house but a host house where they are protestant and i am a Catholic but on sundays each person take the road that brings him to his Chruch.I **don’t think that is the kind of life you will want for you and your children **.In marriage we all become one body.

I respect your opinion but I also felt like the first few posts were saying it should never take place. As you state above, I have bolded it, you did tell people what they do or do not want. That’s not charitable as a lot of people are in mixed marriages, get permission to marry outside of the Church and/or to a non-Catholic.God blesses those unions as well.

I see you are new, but please remember sometimes it comes across very differently than you may think.

 

[Lord_Servant]

I respect your opinion but I also felt like the first few posts were saying it should never take place. As you state above, I have bolded it, you did tell people what they do or do not want. That’s not charitable as a lot of people are in mixed marriages, get permission to marry outside of the Church and/or to a non-Catholic.God blesses those unions as well.

I see you are new, but please remember sometimes it comes across very differently than you may think.

I understand your point of view but whatever i say i don’t mean to impose it to some one,take for example a friend ask you a question are you gonna tell him what he must do or will you just give him advice and tell him how if it was you ,you could have done.That is exactly what i am saying,all i say is just how it would have applied to me.
By the way the Catholic church does not prohibit such Unions only that such unions can have lot of trouble in regard to religion.
1634 Difference of confession between the spouses does not constitute an insurmountable obstacle for marriage, when they succeed in placing in common what they have received from their respective communities, and learn from each other the way in which each lives in fidelity to Christ. But the difficulties of mixed marriages must not be underestimated. They arise from the fact that the separation of Christians has not yet been overcome. The spouses risk experiencing the tragedy of Christian disunity even in the heart of their own home. Disparity of cult can further aggravate these difficulties. Differences about faith and the very notion of marriage, but also different religious mentalities, can become sources of tension in marriage, especially as regards the education of children. The temptation to religious indifference can then arise.

To add again,i think in my own point of view same Religion marriage is good and will help understanding in the couple and will help raise the Children in one faith.But i don’t mean mixed religion is worst but if you are someone who will live with that fine.
1637 In marriages with disparity of cult the Catholic spouse has a particular task: "For the unbelieving husband is consecrated through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is consecrated through her husband."140 It is a great joy for the Christian spouse and for the Church if this “consecration” should lead to the free conversion of the other spouse to the Christian faith.141 Sincere married love, the humble and patient practice of the family virtues, and perseverance in prayer can prepare the non-believing spouse to accept the grace of conversion

 

[TheRealJuliane]

Yeah ,the fact is that if in a family there is conflict of religion ,how will the family raise the children,also there would also be a lot of conflict not just at the level of children but on many other things.Well for me i am a Catholic for life and would like to raise my children as Catholic for life if God gives me .**So if i date a woman ,i will propose her to convert to Catholic if she is not and the rest is up to her.**The idea is that i want someone who will have the same beleif as me so as to raise our kids in the same direction.But any way this is a difficult subject.More suggestions are welcome

No. The best is to date other Catholics. Don’t ask someone to convert in order to be with you. They deserve to come to the Church for their own reasons, not just because you say so.

 

[Lord_Servant]

No. The best is to date other Catholics. Don’t ask someone to convert in order to be with you. They deserve to come to the Church for their own reasons, not just because you say so.

Sorry may be i did not write what i mean.Sorry for that but what i meant was that if she Loves me and i love her ,then we both have to find a way to have the same religion and i bet you that I won’t change my religion ,i am so attached to my religion ,its just a part of me .That is what i was trying to say.But i will never force someone to convert by force never ,it should be her personal decision.

 

[skigirl1689]

No. The best is to date other Catholics. Don’t ask someone to convert in order to be with you. They deserve to come to the Church for their own reasons, not just because you say so.

Exactly…my aunt converted but it was her choice and this was after my uncle married her in her church. Let’s just say she was faithful to the Church but did not do the things that were optional, i.e. praying the Rosary.

 

[BlueEyedLady]

Sorry may be i did not write what i mean.Sorry for that but what i meant was that if she Loves me and i love her ,then we both have to find a way to have the same religion and i bet you that I won’t change my religion ,i am so attached to my religion ,its just a part of me .That is what i was trying to say.But i will never force someone to convert by force never ,it should be her personal decision.

If you fall in love with someone and you say that you must find a way to be of the same religion and that you absolutely won’t change, then yes, you are putting her in a position of converting to be with you.

 

[Lord_Servant]

If you fall in love with someone and you say that you must find a way to be of the same religion and that you absolutely won’t change, then yes, you are putting her in a position of converting to be with you.

I don’t understand how i can put it but what then if both of us love our religion.what do you advice?

 

[skigirl1689]

What are your thoughts of dating someone who is of a different religion than you and you don’t always agree in what they believe in? Should you pursue the relationship or let go?
I have my friend who is a dating a protestant and both of them stick to their religion.But my friend was asking me how he should do.Any suggestion

You already seem to have your opinion, a very strong one, but please don’t alienate your friend if he decides against your advice. It nearly happened in my family and still affects some people to this day. He likely already may have a good idea of the consequences he may be facing. Also, he should discuss it with her and make that decision only after they honestly and fully discuss it.

 

[Lord_Servant]

You already seem to have your opinion, a very strong one, but please don’t alienate your friend if he decides against your advice. It nearly happened in my family and still affects some people to this day. He likely already may have a good idea of the consequences he may be facing. Also, he should discuss it with her and make that decision only after they honestly and fully discuss it.

I agree with you,if he asked for my advice i will say what i think and how it would have been with me but i will never tell him to do same but instead that he should speak with the girl honestly and both find a solution.A relation is between two people and not between three or more

 

[wmw]

Dating is one thing and getting Married is very different. Dating is a process to find out if the two are compatible. There can be room to work this out as long as it’s in the direction of having a Catholic Wedding and raising the children Catholic.

I personally would only get married to another Catholic; otherwise, I’d not really be sure of their commitment to teaching the children to be Catholic. I wouldn’t take more than a year to Date someone that isn’t moving in the right direction and that I can really see them as becoming Catholic soon.

It’s not a question of forcing something on someone; it’s a matter of being true to the truth as you know it and not diverting your life away from your faith and Church.