Thoughts on Large Families for our 'Tolerant' Modern Society

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Laughing…honestly, that book could be stories about our family. I would venture to say that our stories even rival Cheaper by the Dozen. I think I will post one of our funny ones…when I was locked in the chicken coop for 4 or 5 hours without anyone missing me! so much for pride
 
Home-educating mom of seven, ages 4-14, nurse, wanna-be herbalist, and farmer, wife.

After reading about envy and pride and the teeter-toter, I felt it was true confession time: I am not superwoman, and motherhood to many is the crucible of our lives. Home education and/or being open to life to this degree brings forth the character flaws God most needs to deal with–and I’m not just talking about in the children. Does this mean large families live in hypocrisy or pride?

I don’t think so. No more than the mom of two that smiles for the Christmas photos and then snarls out the dinner order on the way home and barks at her husband for leaving his socks on the floor.

When I had two sons, my bedroom was sometimes a wreck. Now, with three sons and four daughters, it occasionally makes the Black Hole of Calcutta look like the Ritz. Eh. I’ll get the laundry put away tonight but the scrapbooking explosion will probably not get cleaned up til Monday–maybe.

There are plenty of times in real life when I get heralded as a supermom…and I get that “well, you don’t LOOK like you have 7 kids” all the time! But it is NEVER because I want to do anything but encourage women in the gifts and callings that God has for them…the HIGHEST of which is in the domestic church.
 
motherofnine9 said:
ohhh…it is like a teeter-totter …if somone is defending themselves they come on too strong or prideful.
BUT I am proud, proud and startled that our kids turned out so well. Every thanksgiving tears come to our eyes when we all take turns telling each other what we are thankful for.

Of course there are the normal, human problems but we know how to deal with inner issues instead of burying them. I know many stories of perfect looking families who end up falling apart because they tried to maintain a perfect facade but if you read my blog you would read all of the messy, hilarious, imperfect comic-tragic stories that made up our lives.
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Whoa.

I didn’t say that you came on too strong or prideful. I used the words “eensy weensy itty bitty”.

You make statements in your OP implying that “only large families” achieve certain results. E.g., you say, “Large families strengthen the basic foundations of our society. They live lives of greater interconnectedness.”

No, that’s not true. ANY good Christian family, large or small, strengthens the basic foundations of our society.

And ANY good Christian family, large or small, can live lives of greater interconnectedness."

I am super proud of my two daughters, too, and I don’t apologize for that. But the size of our family had nothing to do with their outcome. They turned out the way they did due to a combination of well-planned and well-implemented parenting, a supportive extended family of grandparents and aunts, uncles and cousins, the best school in the area, the great sport of figure skating, and genetics. Probably genetics played a more major role than I like to believe. (I’d rather believe I’m the reason they turned out so well.)

You notice I didn’t say “church”–that’s because our Protestant church kicked us out when the girls were teenagers. It was awful, and we are fortunate that the Lord preserved our faith in Him. All of us will have trust issues with “church” for the rest of our lives, and to this day, our younger daughter cannot bring herself to get involved with any church. Her “church” is her parents. I pray to the Blessed Mother to ask her Son to have mercy on my daughter, who was so badly damaged by the evil things that our Protestant church did to our family.

At any rate, I would caution you to be extremely careful not to pit your large family AGAINST small families. It’s fine to extol the positive aspects of having a large family. But don’t imply that small families can’t possibly enjoy the same positive aspects. You will accomplish nothing by doing this other than to create animosity and division. ALL God-fearing families are good.
 
Well said and very true,

yes, for me nine kids and the domestic church was and still is my crucible. As my **particular **calling, vocation and witness to the world, a large family is where all my inner issues and even inner demons rose to the surface. Kids healed me, purified me and showed me the Face of God.
My only purpose in writing about the Joy of Mothering is to reveal that one of the many varied and valid callings of God is to mother a large family. This in no way negates the calling to have a smaller family; it is not better, but it IS just as worthy and valued.
 
Cat-oh dear, what a conundrum, in the future I will be extra careful to not offend any other mother. Of course I agree with everything you say

I usually simply write stories about our family, often about mishaps or simply stories that are humourous or heartwarming and what God taught me with no mention of small, large or childless families. This is one of the very few out of literally hundreds of article where I defend the large family. It is never my intention to undermine another or to say that ONLY large familes are good.
 
FWIW, I didn’t feel you were saying ‘only’ large families could achieve those results.

I, too, have nine children, and it surprises people a great deal. 🙂
 
Likewise! I’m surprised how many people I meet (primarily online) who DO have families this big. It feels very normal to me, and I sometimes forget how unusual it is.
 
as a convert with only one sister, I was always aware how unusual I was but I simply could not have been anything but a mother of a large family…it was a strong, obvious call from God that was filled with JOY
 
I grew up with a relatively small family, in a ‘Catholic’ family, but they didn’t really see the need to listen to the Church. 😉 It just feels normal because I live it every day.
 
ah yes… i see what you mean…and I agree because this is my life, our life and the thought of not having one of my younger children in our family is inconsevable. Luckily we are all baby lovers, even the toddlers adore the baby
 
Inconceivable…no pun intended? 😉

My children always want a younger sibling. As I’m now divorced, one of my younger sons asked just today can’t I adopt a baby sister for him.
 
Here’s another thought about writing - I like to write and read so this just naturally occurs to me. It might not be possible when you’re in the thick of raising little ones, but writing down the memories and maybe having them bound into books would be a neat project and a wonderful gift for your kids and grandkids.

I’m even thinking I need to do this regarding my own growing up, since my parents are now deceased. I didn’t marry or have any children, but I’d still like to do it for me. Just those funny and sweet moments, the little in-jokes and stories a family accumulates over the years. And stories about the ancestors too, genealogy, whatever comes to mind.
 
I use to proudly proclaim I want twins the first time I get pregnant so I can be one and done. Now, I would do anything for one! No, we are not infertile it’s something else, but my only regret is not having made 6 babies already lol. I hope one day to be able to have a large family but considering I am in my early 30s the chances of that are looking slim. I love large beautiful families what a blessing!
 
HoneyBea said:
I use to proudly proclaim I want twins the first time I get pregnant so I can be one and done. Now, I would do anything for one! No, we are not infertile it’s something else, but my only regret is not having made 6 babies already lol. I hope one day to be able to have a large family but considering I am in my early 30s the chances of that are looking slim. I love large beautiful families what a blessing!
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Don’t give up so easily. All things are possible with God 👍
 
my last chid just started university but up to 3 years ago 5 ‘kids’ still lived at home. I just started to write 18 months ago although I was always an oral story teller , I now have writted hundreds of them down on my blogs and on catholic sites like Catholic Stand and CatholicMom
 
Honeybee i had my 4th child judt before I was thirty- there is lots of time and I agree, God does perform miracles…especially the kind you want
 
I wish I had started earlier I let my career, my education, money even my vanity get in the way of making babies. I didn’t want to give up my career, I didn’t want to do with less money and I didn’t want to “ruin my body” for fear of being less attractive. I basically let the world convince me a baby was an accessory to my life and I could put it off and have it when it was convenient. I am such a fool! I want to kick my old self. There were martial issues too but had I been open to allowing God to do his will in my life in hindsight I know it would have all been ok. We’ve been trying for 3 months now I’m a bit discouraged but from I’ve read the average time to get pregnant is 6 months or this just a lie people tell to make people like me feel better?

9 children? I must admit that seems like a lot. I admire you and envy you a little I know I shouldn’t but I can only imagine the abundance of blessings in your home.
 
oh 3 months is nothing…they say a year before you start to look for problems.do you know how to tell when you are fertile by checking mucus signs??
 
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