Andy, advice is not a cheap thing. I personally will not offer you any advice because I donāt know you and really canāt ask you questions about your vocation in real time. That is why you need to be in communication with a vocations director. Do you want to be a diocesan priest? Or would you rather join a religious order? The bottom line is to contact the vocations director to the place where you feel most compelled to serve God and the church as a priest.
You need guidance. I myself was turned down for a vocation from two archdioceses and three religious orders. Itās a long story, but I can tell you from experience that merely āshowing up at the doorā is no guarantee they will let you in. I think they are right in being more particular about candidates now because of the recent scandals. I had attempted suicide three times at age 16 and was hospitalized for six months in a psychiatric facility. I was an atheist when I attempted suicide. I first contacted a religious order when I was 24. None of the vocations directors has been able to reconcile my past with a vocation. I believe that God has healed, changed, and recreated me, but I will accept their decisions out of humility and obedience. I do not always know firsthand what is best not only for me, but for the church at large. I am 47 now, unmarried with no children. I applied for the priesthood at the Archdiocese of Harrisburg in Pennsylvania three years ago, and they turned me down because the age limit there is 42.
I will tell you that I would have dearly loved to serve God full time and to lay down my life for the sheep, but having the desire is not necessarily a backstage pass into the Church. Ultimately we submit such things to the authority that God has established in the church. I am a servant, and I will obey, and I will love no matter what.
While I hope that Godās will is fulfilled in your life, I did want to share this with you because in the event that you find yourself in front of an open door, which I did not, you need to recognize the magnitude of the gift that God is giving you in a genuine vocation to serve the Church.
Itās ironic, but being turned down for the priesthood has given me an even greater reverence for priests. They are not perfect, but they follow in the footsteps of the apostles. Those are tough shoes to fill.