Thread for Women Discerning Religious Life

[GilChrist77]

Thanks…

I’m really having difficulty finding a congregation. When I tried
looking on the net I always find their apostolate not fitting for me.
It’s like becoming an efficient speaker when you were born to be
an audience. Perhaps, a monastic life’s better for me. Just to narrow it down. I’ve read books about diaries of saints, like that of St. Faustina and St. Therese of Lisieux. I’m attracted to both, looking at my capacity I’d rather pick Carmel and there are Carmelite monasteries here in our country except for the other one. Although I have much time surfing the net but somehow doesn’t help much as I can’t visit them. Another is, it takes every inch of my courage to face and talk to them as I have never done this thing my entire life. Perhaps when I’m done with my obligation I’ll be able to visit, just the carmel. I’m compelled
to forget the other one. Is it okay to think this way?

By the way, Have a blessed Christmas all of you!!

It’s fine because it could be God, but you don’t want to completely forget about. Just keep it in the back somewhere but you can focus on the other one. Does that make any sense??

JMJ+
~Betsy

 

[abbatia]

Thanks for answering and the welcome! I wanted to let you all know that I have already visited a Poor Clare Monastery and have asked if I can make a live-in. The PCC’s don’t usually allow it, but this one has done it a couple of times in the past. The council is going to vote.

I am just not sure if I can just “jump right in” without a little peek at the very least. I have also talked to some other cloistered communities, and the other ones one hundred percent encourage and allow live in experiences. Anyway, if they say no, then I will pray about it and see how it goes. I will keep you all in the loop!

Thanks and Happy Christmas Eve!

Veronica

 

[Hilde89]

I’m 18

I don’t know the order,the country or the continent.

It’s almost a year since I wrote this now.

I have actually made progress.

First of all I’ve started RCIA, and I’ve visited two orders. One was a retreat about callings, and the other was a wake with rorate mass. It was very nice to see it up close. My interest is not ceasing.

I hope you’re all doing good in your discernment.

 

[1234]

Thanks for answering and the welcome! I wanted to let you all know that I have already visited a Poor Clare Monastery and have asked if I can make a live-in. The PCC’s don’t usually allow it, but this one has done it a couple of times in the past. The council is going to vote.

I am just not sure if I can just “jump right in” without a little peek at the very least. I have also talked to some other cloistered communities, and the other ones one hundred percent encourage and allow live in experiences. Anyway, if they say no, then I will pray about it and see how it goes. I will keep you all in the loop!

Thanks and Happy Christmas Eve!

Veronica

Very reasonable approach.

I realize that for enclosed communities, it must be quite disruptive for inquirers to be visiting all the time, with some making ‘live-ins’, but I think that there’s no other way to do it. No one can imagine what it must be like to be enclosed, with a particular group of women, day after day indefinitely–I think that a live -in should be mandatory for all observers who are serious about a particular order or branch. Increasingly, the serious discerner must give up job, car, apartment, house and must make a hundred dispositions–including pets–before entering. A number of visits and a live-in should be mandatory.

 

[GilChrist77]

It’s almost a year since I wrote this now.

I have actually made progress.

First of all I’ve started RCIA, and I’ve visited two orders. One was a retreat about callings, and the other was a wake with rorate mass. It was very nice to see it up close. My interest is not ceasing.

I hope you’re all doing good in your discernment.

Hilde!! How are you doing? I feel like I haven’t talked to you in so long! What’s new?

I hope everyone had a very blessed and merry Christmas!

JMJ+
~Betsy

 

[Pro_Domina]

May I suggest some orders I have seen in their spiritual life and find them strong. Plus they have lots of vocations so something must be right. At least the female branches:

The Servants of the Lord and the Virgin of Matará (the sisters of the Incarnate Word)
ssvmusa.org/

The Heralds of the Gospel
heralds.us

The PCPAs of Mother Angelica

olamshrine.com/

I know of others, but have not seen them in relation to their spiritual lives.

 

[Hilde89]

Hilde!! How are you doing? I feel like I haven’t talked to you in so long! What’s new?

I hope everyone had a very blessed and merry Christmas!

JMJ+
~Betsy

Hi there.

I’m doing great. I graduated from High School this spring and started RCIA some months ago. I’ve taken some classes at the theology university. I’m still not sure what to do with my life.

Christmas(so far) has been great.

How are you doing?

 

[GilChrist77]

Hi there.

I’m doing great. I graduated from High School this spring and started RCIA some months ago. I’ve taken some classes at the theology university. I’m still not sure what to do with my life.

Christmas(so far) has been great.

How are you doing?

I’m doing really well, I’m very busy with youth group and band and school… I really miss my family because I’m the only one at home now:sad_yes: but it was great to be able to see some of them on Christmas eve and day :yup:

JMJ+
~Betsy

PS please pray for me,my parents are leaving today for a month in Europe and I am really scared because the longest I have ever been away from my parents is one week so…

 

[Inity]

…

When at this spring I “started discerning” and decided that my destiny lies in the monastery - first thing I’ve done was sending a mail to a congregation I always adored. I wrote a long letter and paid more than 100$ for its translation into italian, and sent it via snail mail (because these sisters don’t have e-mail) into their motherhouse in Rome. A bit later I was told by a sister in our city, that they have age limit of …28. I was crushed. I was already 32 (turned 33 this autumn) and so I had no hopes.
I didn’t get a response for a long time and decided that they just ignored my letter or there was a problem with mail. However, before the Christmas Eve Mass, a sister of this congregation said me that they have a message for me and she will bring it at sunday.
I was filled with wild hopes for these few days. I started to believe that they would let me try “on individual basis” as it sometimes happens. I knew that I’ve put in my letter all my devotion to their Congregation and that the letter was touching. So I spent these few days, expecting for the letter.
Unfortunately, they reject me… I can see that they were touched by my letter and say that they believe in my vocation… but not with their congregation, because they have “a rule to obey”. I knew since summer about their age limit, and taught myself to a thought that I would join another congregation; but it was anyway very hard to see their letter. There was no other reason to reject me; only my age. The more I think about it, the more I feel sad. So I wrote about it to feel some support from you…

On the other hand, I got emails from two congregations in England (I mailed to three) and sisters say that they would like to see me next summer (I hope to get the money I need for the travels, in the midsummer of 2009). Stone Dominicans said that they accept women “even much older than me” and they don’t see a problem with my age. And, I’m still in touch with one small congregation in Italy. I like them, but have some doubts because they are really small and only one active apostolate is care for the elderly women in Florence. They used to run a school and teach children, but they don’t do it now because of lack of sisters. And I wish to be involved in teaching, if it would be possible (but I know it would be hard because of the language…) I surely will visit these sisters, but I don’t limit my discerning to their congregation only. And I want to get in touch with other Italian congregations… though they tend not to reply e-mails. May be I should turn to snail mail, and send them my long story written&translated into italian for S.Sisto sisters.

It’s very hard for me to know I’m rejected from my favoritest congregation just for the age Made me sad for all day.

 

[Pro_Domina]

Does it help saying maybe it is not only age?

Maybe they think your letter was not from the heart but from the pocket.

And at 33, I suggest you get a move on because 33 is the perfect age. From there it is all downhill as far as the body. The soul can always go higher!

 

[Inity]

They noted that from my letter they got an impression that I’m “a soul eager for God” and having “a flame of love to the Truth” …(something like that, the translation from italian a sister made for me was rough, so I requested a help from someone who knows italian, to translate the letter…) and they don’t say that I don’t have a Vocation… They’ve been very nice and gentle; too bad the age limit is too strict in their rule.

I feel being very young. 33 is really not too much.

The other problem is lack of dominican communities in Russia. The only two available have age limits. So I have to apply to a community in another country, and I need much money for visas and visits. If I had the money, I would quit the job and start visiting communities tomorrow but I have no chance of getting enough money until at least next summer.

 

[Pro_Domina]

Russia and perfect English?

What am I missing?

 

[Inity]

Yes, I live in Russia. And my english isn’t perfect sometimes I make silly mistakes (just recently I typed “payed” instead of “paid” for example), and my pronunciation isn’t really good.

Right now I’m thinking about joining a dominican community in UK, or in Italy (but then I’ll have to study italian - I plan to start after the New Year). US is not an option - too far away, and it’s almost impossible to get a visa (I wonder, however, that many catholic women from Africa manage to join american monasteries… but visas policy towards russians is harsh.) I try to be realistic and discern European communities.
I have strong desire to be a Dominican. I started to dream about it in 1992. I always kept this wish in my heart. Sometimes I feel sorry that I didn’t start discerning earlier… but I can’t turn back time.

 

[amc171]

I’am a 30yr old man married with two wonderful children. I just wanted to say how much respect and admiration I have in women like yourselves. To know and persue a life with God for our church family. May you all find the correct road for youreslf and may God bless all of you.

 

[GilChrist77]

I’am a 30yr old man married with two wonderful children. I just wanted to say how much respect and admiration I have in women like yourselves. To know and persue a life with God for our church family. May you all find the correct road for youreslf and may God bless all of you.

Thank-you very much. It means a lot to me to hear that.

JMJ+
~Betsy

 

[Pro_Domina]

In Russia eh.
Nice to find Catholics there.
Well I guess you meet one requirement for religious life. You must be in good health to withstand the winter there. Right now I can’t fall asleep in the Roman cold. And Rome does not snow.

 

[Joyful_1]

I’am a 30yr old man married with two wonderful children. I just wanted to say how much respect and admiration I have in women like yourselves. To know and persue a life with God for our church family. May you all find the correct road for youreslf and may God bless all of you.

Thank you so much! God Bless you as well.

Peace,
Joy

 

[Spiritu]

Inity, I’m sorry to hear that the community you most wanted to join wasn’t able to take you in - it must be such a disappointment. I pray, however, that your discernment may grow easier from now on, and that you find the best community for your needs and for God’s. He’ll take you where you belong: hopefully soon!

amc171, many thanks for your message! I’m still early in discernment, and your blessing is a great encouragement to persevere when I can see how much remains to be done.

 

[ClareTherese]

Hello to all. I have not been on this forum in such a long time. I have very good news for all to hear/read!! I got onto the Federation website for the Capuchin Poor Clares. I wrote to the Mother Prioress, of one of the communities. I told her that I visited the community in Amarillo, Tx.
Well, guess what everyone? Since I told mother superior about my age, and the slight impedment, the community in Amarillo emailed me back!!! Oh, it surprised me soooooo much. They came from Mexico in 1981 to Texas. I visited Mother Teresita in 1996 or 1997. There are 4 communities now here in the USA.
On my birthday in November, they emailed me with beautiful greetings. And the best Birthday greetings of them all!! They want me to come and stay with them for awhile, to get the feel of a Capuchin Poor Clare Aspirant/Candidate. They want me to stay from 1 to 3 months if at all possible.
They want me to wear;1. white, long-sleeved, blouses:2. long, dark blue, skirts: 3. and black shoes.
They also stated that even tho thier age limit is 35, they can tell those with a serious vocation, especially those that have persevered it for sooooo long.
I don’t know when I’ll be going, because of everything I must get, plus my medications.
They are looking for vocations, English especially. If you go to the website for Religious Life you will find it, and so many others. Their you will find older vocations and communities that wear the full or modified.

         So never give up! Happy New Year 2009:wave: :curtsey: 

          ClareTherese

 

[Spiritu]

That’s fantastic news, ClareTherese! (One to three months - wow!)
I hope it’s a great experience for you, and more than that, that it helps you find and follow your vocation in life. Happy New Year, and all the very best!