Thread for Women Discerning Religious Life

[ClareTherese]

This is to whomever wishes to answer this. I too am discerning, and will be doing a live in with the Capuchin Poor Clares, in Amarillo, TX. My spirituality is more towards the Franciscans, although this past weekend I went on a day retreat here. Well, not where I live,but in South San Francisco (St.Francis) . I met a Carmelite, in full habit, Brother Mark (of the Immaculate Heart of Mary), and we spoke about the differences between Carmelites and Franciscans. Thier really isn’t any difference. But as he said thier is.Carmelites do possibly at least 1 hour of Adoration during the week. Whereas, the Franciscan order, does it 24 hours or depending on the community, from sunrise to sundown. Some walk barefoot (ocd’s/pcc’s), while others wear sandels. So of those art the retreat, thought I’d make a great Carmelite, but my heart has never been there. In this forum, you were mentioning a community that was possibly fanciscan in New York. “Sister Servants of Mary, Home of the Mother”. What is thier age requirements, and do they wear a Habit/Veil. Thier is one in Birmingham–‘Sister,Servants of the Eternal Word’. I love the fact, they wear the Dominican/Franciscan Habit and Veil. They have late vocations. Also thier is one in Spokane, Wa., that I wish to know more about. They wear a long, blue veil, and sometimes a blue or white habit.

:nun1: :choocho: ClareTherese

 

[CarmeliteGirl25]

This is to whomever wishes to answer this. I too am discerning, and will be doing a live in with the Capuchin Poor Clares, in Amarillo, TX. My spirituality is more towards the Franciscans, although this past weekend I went on a day retreat here. Well, not where I live,but in South San Francisco (St.Francis) . I met a Carmelite, in full habit, Brother Mark (of the Immaculate Heart of Mary), and we spoke about the differences between Carmelites and Franciscans. Thier really isn’t any difference. But as he said thier is.Carmelites do possibly at least 1 hour of Adoration during the week. Whereas, the Franciscan order, does it 24 hours or depending on the community, from sunrise to sundown. Some walk barefoot (ocd’s/pcc’s), while others wear sandels. So of those art the retreat, thought I’d make a great Carmelite, but my heart has never been there. In this forum, you were mentioning a community that was possibly fanciscan in New York. “Sister Servants of Mary, Home of the Mother”. What is thier age requirements, and do they wear a Habit/Veil. Thier is one in Birmingham–‘Sister,Servants of the Eternal Word’. I love the fact, they wear the Dominican/Franciscan Habit and Veil. They have late vocations. Also thier is one in Spokane, Wa., that I wish to know more about. They wear a long, blue veil, and sometimes a blue or white habit.

:nun1: :choocho: ClareTherese

Sister Servants of the Home of the Mother were founded in Toledo, Spain. They are actually followers of the Carmelite spirituality but do not wear the Carmelite habit. They are an active order. They do wear the full habit and a modified veil, but the habit goes down to the floor. Their worship habit is white, and their work habit is navy blue. I am unsure of their age requirements because their website is unclear, but you are welcome to give them a call if you are interested:

homeofthemother.org/spir/servantsisters.html

Click “Contact us” for their information.

The Franciscan order I was originally referring to are the Franciscan Sisters of the Renewal. This is the order that I am most interested in. I don’t hold any interest in the Sister Servants of the Home of the Mother, although their spirituality is beautiful. I looked into the Sister Servants of the Eternal Word, but I am not interested in them at this time. God bless you in your discernment.

 

[Anlar]

It’s been so long I haven’t posted anything in here. I just have a problem. How do you know which congregation to join? Do you really have to evaluate or measure your capacity on their apostolate? Or not minding your capacity you just go on to what attracks you?

Sorry for the many questions. Just need some advise please.
Thanks

 

[barb_finnegan]

Wow-there are so many ladies doing discernment!

I’m trying to discern what MY vocation is (and I hope I’m not ‘hijacking’ this thread ). I’ve been out of work since August, and it doesn’t look too promising on the job front here in the Northeast. I’m 54 years old, so no ‘good’ community will look at somebody my age. The only Orders in my home diocese are the old ‘tired’ liberal ones that are dying out for lack of new vocations…and I 'AINT TOUCHING THOSE!

I never really wanted to get married…terrified of pregnancy and childbirth (though I don’t have to worry about that now, having had a hysterectomy two years ago because of cancer). I’ve always remained a virgin. I do have male friends-single, married, even priestly-and they all respect me.

I thought of religious life in my late teens/early twenties. I got to love St. Therese, and I thought of the Discalced Carmelites. I was also drawn to it because its Marian devotion. But in my 23rd year, the Mother Prioress and Novice Mistress determined that I had a ‘love and loyalty to the Order, but not a vocation’. And oddly enough, I accepted it…one of the few times that grace was at work in my life.

Then I tried the Third Orders-the Franciscans, and then, the Discalced Carmelites. But they didn’t work for me, either.

I’m not much for doing ‘activist’ work…not very organized …and have no wish to be in ‘lay ministry’. I’m not ‘ordained’-the word ‘ministry’ should only be used in relation to the clergy, IMO-and I have no wish to ‘usurp’ the role of the priest. I’m very ‘traditional’ in the functions of clergy and laity.

I’m just a lowly single woman who is at the ‘bottom of the rung’ in the Mystical Body of Christ. I’m not really good at anything…and I try NOT to ‘whine’ about it…if I do any ‘whining’ it’s by myself. I go to Adoration and the Latin Mass…not much else.

No good trying to find a spiritual director-there are not enough priests around here, and I won’t go to a ‘priestess-wannabe’ or to a layperson!

There are times when I really long for death (natural death, NOT suicide), so I can be rid of this ugly old earth…

 

[GilChrist77]

It’s been so long I haven’t posted anything in here. I just have a problem. How do you know which congregation to join? Do you really have to evaluate or measure your capacity on their apostolate? Or not minding your capacity you just go on to what attracks you?

Sorry for the many questions. Just need some advise please.
Thanks

There are a lot of different ways to know which order is the right one for you. I would say the first thing to do would be look at what you like to do and what types of prayer you like. Then try and find orders that do that kind of thing and or have that kind of prayer life. After you get it narrowed down a little bit then the most important things to do are PRAY and talk to other people.
I will keep you in my prayers.
JMJ+
~Betsy

 

[brigid12]

Wow-there are so many ladies doing discernment!

I’m trying to discern what MY vocation is (and I hope I’m not ‘hijacking’ this thread ). I’ve been out of work since August, and it doesn’t look too promising on the job front here in the Northeast. I’m 54 years old, so no ‘good’ community will look at somebody my age. The only Orders in my home diocese are the old ‘tired’ liberal ones that are dying out for lack of new vocations…and I 'AINT TOUCHING THOSE!

I never really wanted to get married…terrified of pregnancy and childbirth (though I don’t have to worry about that now, having had a hysterectomy two years ago because of cancer). I’ve always remained a virgin. I do have male friends-single, married, even priestly-and they all respect me.

I thought of religious life in my late teens/early twenties. I got to love St. Therese, and I thought of the Discalced Carmelites. I was also drawn to it because its Marian devotion. But in my 23rd year, the Mother Prioress and Novice Mistress determined that I had a ‘love and loyalty to the Order, but not a vocation’. And oddly enough, I accepted it…one of the few times that grace was at work in my life.

Then I tried the Third Orders-the Franciscans, and then, the Discalced Carmelites. But they didn’t work for me, either.

I’m not much for doing ‘activist’ work…not very organized …and have no wish to be in ‘lay ministry’. I’m not ‘ordained’-the word ‘ministry’ should only be used in relation to the clergy, IMO-and I have no wish to ‘usurp’ the role of the priest. I’m very ‘traditional’ in the functions of clergy and laity.

I’m just a lowly single woman who is at the ‘bottom of the rung’ in the Mystical Body of Christ. I’m not really good at anything…and I try NOT to ‘whine’ about it…if I do any ‘whining’ it’s by myself. I go to Adoration and the Latin Mass…not much else.

No good trying to find a spiritual director-there are not enough priests around here, and I won’t go to a ‘priestess-wannabe’ or to a layperson!

There are times when I really long for death (natural death, NOT suicide), so I can be rid of this ugly old earth…

I truly believe I understand, since I am in a very similar type of place. Right now there doesn’t seem to be Catholic traditional or even semi-traditional orders/congregations either in my own diocese or in any diocese in my half of the country who take older vocations (actually, even if I was 25 I’d have few to choose from). I’m in my 50s also and have a health history that’s not wonderful, am single, third-orders would take driving great distances (and I’ve been out of work for 1 1/2 years), the only Catholic parish for miles and most others to which I’ve been a member only have activities for those who are retired so can attend meetings during work hours (I still plan on getting a job as I definitely can’t afford to retire!) or activities for married/youth. I guess what we need to do is keep praying to Him and looking.

 

[1234]

There are a lot of women’s groups out there who will consider your age.

For the more conservative groups, go to:

db.religiouslife.com/cbs/index.html

…and look down at the end where each listed order discusses ‘belated’ vocations.

The most complete entries, however, are at:

www.religiousministries.com,

–which is the website for Directory of Religious Ministries which is published every year, costing about $10.00.

It is not true that no ‘decent’ order will consider women over 54. Many do, both the habitied and non-habited orders.

“Seek and Ye Shall Find”.

 

[Poor_Clare_tobe]

Originally Posted by Anlar View Post
It’s been so long I haven’t posted anything in here. I just have a problem. How do you know which congregation to join? Do you really have to evaluate or measure your capacity on their apostolate? Or not minding your capacity you just go on to what attracks you?

Sorry for the many questions. Just need some advise please.

There are a lot of different ways to know which order is the right one for you. I would say the first thing to do would be look at what you like to do and what types of prayer you like. Then try and find orders that do that kind of thing and or have that kind of prayer life. After you get it narrowed down a little bit then the most important things to do are PRAY and talk to other people.
I will keep you in my prayers.
JMJ+
~Betsy

*To continue the thought… yes look at the various things you like to do [IE would lead you to ministry and apostolate] then what type of prayer your are drawn to [and what type of charism you might be drawn to]

The following website may be of use also it helps to narrow your search. [VOCATIONMATCH.COM] in addition to religious ministries website already listed.

There are many different ways of finding the right community.
Each persons journey is unique. Some may first look to the Orders that attract one. Some may look at apostolates. Good luck, and there are many posts here on this forum with stories of their journeys… blessings and good luck*

 

[GilChrist77]

This has nothing to do with the topic but… How do you qoute two people at the same time??

JMJ+
~Betsy

 

[CarmeliteGirl25]

This has nothing to do with the topic but… How do you qoute two people at the same time??

JMJ+
~Betsy

Click the blue button with the plus sign under each post you want to quote then hit “Post reply” at the bottom of all the posts, not “Reply” on an individual post. Hope that helps!

 

[1234]

On another forum there is a discerner who wants to enter the Nashville Dominicans (of St. Cecilia) at 17, when she’s graduate (early) from high school.

Does anyone know what is the earliest age limit for entering?

Does anyone know the canon law on this point–which I think deals with minimum age to enter the novitiate, which I think is 18. However, my understanding is that Vat II established requirement of high school ed or GED plus two years of work experience or college.

I am concerned with the interest some orders take in enticing the young to enter, espec. the self-same Nashville Dominicans and the related daughter order Srs of Mary Mother of the Eucharist. I think that entering after high school itself is too young, let alone 17.

Anyone have any info on this?

 

[Jennifer_G]

On another forum there is a discerner who wants to enter the Nashville Dominicans (of St. Cecilia) at 17, when she’s graduate (early) from high school.

Does anyone know what is the earliest age limit for entering?

Does anyone know the canon law on this point–which I think deals with minimum age to enter the novitiate, which I think is 18. However, my understanding is that Vat II established requirement of high school ed or GED plus two years of work experience or college.

I am concerned with the interest some orders take in enticing the young to enter, espec. the self-same Nashville Dominicans and the related daughter order Srs of Mary Mother of the Eucharist. I think that entering after high school itself is too young, let alone 17.

Anyone have any info on this?

I’ve always seen 18.

Speaking of minimum age limits, is there a minimum number of years one has to be Catholic (i.e., a convert)?

 

[CarmeliteGirl25]

On another forum there is a discerner who wants to enter the Nashville Dominicans (of St. Cecilia) at 17, when she’s graduate (early) from high school.

Does anyone know what is the earliest age limit for entering?

Does anyone know the canon law on this point–which I think deals with minimum age to enter the novitiate, which I think is 18. However, my understanding is that Vat II established requirement of high school ed or GED plus two years of work experience or college.

I am concerned with the interest some orders take in enticing the young to enter, espec. the self-same Nashville Dominicans and the related daughter order Srs of Mary Mother of the Eucharist. I think that entering after high school itself is too young, let alone 17.

Anyone have any info on this?

I know a sister in the Carmelite DCJ order in St. Louis who entered right after high school. She’s still there, but is taking an extended period before her final vows. She didn’t tell me why when I asked her.

I think it all depends on the order. Vat. II didn’t legislate all rules of all orders because not all of them answer directly to the Holy See.

The Nashville Dominicans require that the candidate have a high school diploma/GED before entrance. Also, these are listed:

1. Sufficient health
2. Emotional wholeness
3. The ability to live happily within community
4. Sufficient age and maturity
5. A proper motive

I doubt they would just sweep someone in off the streets to become a candidate, especially if they are future teachers, like the Dominicans. One needs to have the aptitude and fortitude to be a sister, AND have the calling.

The SMME are the same, I’m pretty sure!

 

[CarmeliteGirl25]

I’ve always seen 18.

Speaking of minimum age limits, is there a minimum number of years one has to be Catholic (i.e., a convert)?

3 years is what I have seen for a Catholic convert.

Just a little interesting fact:

I’ve seen orders like the Sisters of Life, Dominican Sisters of the Perpetual Rosary, Carmelites of Loretto, PA, etc. who will not allow a candidate to enter until she is 21.

The Carmelites in Terre Haute require the candidate to be at least 24!

The Benedictines of Mary, Queen of the Apostles allow candidates as young as 16!

Every order is different!

 

[Poor_Clare_tobe]

On another forum there is a discerner who wants to enter the Nashville Dominicans (of St. Cecilia) at 17, when she’s graduate (early) from high school.

Does anyone know what is the earliest age limit for entering?

Does anyone know the canon law on this point–which I think deals with minimum age to enter the novitiate, which I think is 18. However, my understanding is that Vat II established requirement of high school ed or GED plus two years of work experience or college.

I am concerned with the interest some orders take in enticing the young to enter, espec. the self-same Nashville Dominicans and the related daughter order Srs of Mary Mother of the Eucharist. I think that entering after high school itself is too young, let alone 17.

Anyone have any info on this?

I see your question or concern 1234…however with the lengthy process for entering including for many orders health screenings, some psychology screenings and recommendations from pastors and or spiritual directors… that there is little need to worry about being to young. Some young people mature more quickly than others… and would be few in number especially by time formation is completed. For many years it was common to enter right from high school… that has actually changed in the last 30 years or so… however as many have already posted each order is different… not sure if this helps to answer your question but hope it does… blessings

 

[1234]

I see your question or concern 1234…however with the lengthy process for entering including for many orders health screenings, some psychology screenings and recommendations from pastors and or spiritual directors… that there is little need to worry about being to young. Some young people mature more quickly than others… and would be few in number especially by time formation is completed. For many years it was common to enter right from high school… that has actually changed in the last 30 years or so… however as many have already posted each order is different… not sure if this helps to answer your question but hope it does… blessings

Thanks, all.
*
Sixteen* is really too early!

Actually, in the olden, pre-vat II days, there were high schools etc where young girls could enter as pre-postulants, sort of like the minor seminary; they could graduate (or not) become postulants and novices. I remember reading about a Dominican novice , no less, who was* teaching* before she graduated from high school, at age 17 or 18 or thereabouts! Of course, that was a long time ago…I think that I read this in one of the characteristically complete and colorful Dominican obituaries–the nun lived to a great age. Not one of those tell-all left-the-convent-stories…

I do recommend this obits, btw, to see how convent life was lived in the Old Days, replete with pictures and heart-warming colorful stories.

 

[1234]

A lot has been written in the last few years about how long it takes the adolescent mind to mature. This is usually in regard to driving permits. In response to the many teen-age deaths taking place in the first year a teenager learns to drive, many states have passed graduated driving laws. It has been said that the brain does not mature until the early 20’s, later for young men.

This can be applied to religious life. Although immature on entrance, the brain can be mature upon final profession. At least one hopes so.

There are two things that bother me about those communities, two in particular with a lot of postulants. One, they are very young, judging from their pictures and their statements, some more mature than others. Two, there are of a uniform racial background. They are all Caucasian. Not very diverse–at all. Some are hard to tell from another when they are in habit. When I say diverse, some don’t even appear to be of Italian or Hispanic origin, let alone African-American or Asian. Other communities have members of both these backgrounds.

What is going on?

 

[Joyful_1]

Hi all!

I’m so pleased to see that my thread didn’t die. It was getting pretty slim there for a while, but it’s really nice to see so many discerners. Praise the Lord!

Right now I’m looking seriously at the Franciscan Sisters TOR of Penance and the Sorowful Mother in Steubenville, Ohio. They are a beautiful, vibrant group with quite a few younger vocations.

My mom on the other hand is getting kind of nervous that I might actually do this. She doesn’t ‘believe’ in taking vows like the ones religious take. Please pray that she will soften on the subject.

God Bless,
Joyful_1

 

[iamMyBeloveds]

Right now I’m looking seriously at the Franciscan Sisters TOR of Penance and the Sorowful Mother in Steubenville, Ohio. They are a beautiful, vibrant group with quite a few younger vocations.

They are a beautiful order from what I’ve seen/heard! I wish you many blessings in your discernment with them!

My mom on the other hand is getting kind of nervous that I might actually do this. She doesn’t ‘believe’ in taking vows like the ones religious take. Please pray that she will soften on the subject.

Prayers lifted! I know exactly what it is like to have your parents struggle to support your vocation. It can be very difficult at times on both ends. Be patient with them, and realize that everything is in the hands of our dear Lord. I will pray for her very much that she has a change of heart.

God bless you in your discernment!

 

[CarmeliteGirl25]

I am looking long and hard at religious communities with a healthcare apostolate. I believe that I have found my true calling in healthcare as I felt so peaceful during clinicals as a Nursing Assistant. I am thinking about going back to school to become a Licensed Practical Nurse. SO many people have told me that I should do it, and I really want to, but I really need to get a job so that I can fund the classes. So, please, keep me in your prayers! I am waiting to hear from the State Board to take my certification exam to be a CNA.

Here are some of the orders I am considering:

Religious Sisters of Mercy; based in Alma, MI
–I have written a letter to them, and I’m mailing it tomorrow. Their website is a valuable resource, and they have their own healthcare clinic where I would be able to continue work as a nurse, while answering my call to religious life. Not to mention, their habits are beautiful!
rsmofalma.org/

Little Sisters of the Poor
–I have heard from a seminarian friend that their residence houses feel like homes, not institutions, which I really love. I am considering asking them about any positions as a CNA while remaining a lay person, so I can get a feel for their life while paying off my debts.
littlesistersofthepoor.org/

Servants of Mary, Ministers to the Sick
–From their website:
“We want to make a difference in the world by our love and compassionate caring for the sick and suffering according to the values and life style of Christ, living the motto of our Congregation: “I was sick and you visited me” (Mt. 25:36)”
sisterservantsofmary.com/index.html

Sisters of St. Francis of Perpetual Adoration
–I love the fact that they have perpetual adoration AND are of the Order of St. Francis! They have healthcare and education apostolates.
ssfpa.org/

I am still checking out orders without healthcare apostolates, such as:

Franciscan Sisters of the Renewal
franciscansisterscfr.com/

The Discalced Carmelite Nuns of Arlington, TX
carmelnuns.com/

Sisters of Life
sistersoflife.org/

Poor Clare Nuns of Belleville, IL
poorclares-belleville.info/

Poor Clare Colettine Nuns of Roswell, NM
poorclaresroswell.com/