Thread for Women Discerning Religious Life

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Denae said:
I was actively discerning for a few years, and I was really drawn to the Franciscan life, and then some bad stuff happend, and I stopped going to Church and everything…almost a year later, I have started going back to Church, and I still feel that call!!! Pray for me please ladies? I’m not going to start discerning again until I get my prayer life back in order, but I still feel that pull to religious life. I feel like God still wants me…even though I am weak, and broken. I’m keeping all of you in my prayers.
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Hi Denae, glad to know that you start going to church again. Remember that God’s call always continue and He is the most faithful ever. Actually I’m interested at Franciscan life but there some people remind me that some time the life isn’t like we imagine. That’s why we should have a strong foundation of faith when we enter religious life. I’ve heard some bad things too about some orders. Anyway…I will pray for you because I’m struggling myself.🙂 God bless
 
I just wanted to let you know that I am praying for all of you!:gopray2:
God Bless
~Betsy
 
kathielee said:
You have determined for sure that your call is contemplative. So have I. But I don’t feel 100% cloistered. And, since there is an incredible need in my rural area just west of Springfield, Missouri, I am hoping and praying that a diocesan order can begin here that is contemplative but offers 2-1/2 hours a day (Monday through Friday) to assist in rural needs.

Kathie
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An order recently discussed on phatmass vocation station is the
Community of the Resurrection, which arose from the Dominican Srs. of Bethany, who worked with prison women.

The Community of the Resurrection is in a gorgeous rural location in Maine, 30 mi/one hour NE from Portland. They have retreats, board dogs and still visit prisons. They have a simple uniform/habit/pray the office, still are Dominicans/have one hour of adoration per day and go to mass in the local parish. They have one hermit day/month. they still lieve a contemplative type of life but are not cloistered. They don’t sound ‘new age’ at all.

their website is at ;

w3.ime.net/~sisterop/

Sr. Renata will send you, upon request, 3 attachments which give more details.

PS for the older vocation, their upper limit is SIXTY.

Also recently on phatmass there was a long discussion about WEIGHT–about how it impeded vocations. Well, the non-habited orders don’t appear to have a problem with age or weight, including this one.
 
1234 said:
Well, for what it’s worth, the Laboure Foundation takes care of loans of persons entering into religious life.

Check it out:

labourefoundation.org/
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What order doesn’t accept anyone over 30 who has delayed application because of loans?! Talk to them about the loans and contact the Laboure fund, Mater Ecclesiae Fund and Simon Frazer Foundation about loan pay-off.
 
nicolep said:
Mary -

Congrats on your upcoming visit! I’m going to visit an order in June also. I’m going to www.thedome.org.

God bless,
Nicole
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I’m very glad you’re visiting these folks. You’re not going to get any of that “perfection” business there!

They have a large % of entrants, too.

Just as you didn’t want to marry the first guy you dated, you won’t necessarily want to enter the first order you visit. And you’ll get a lot of good advice along the way.
 
TeresaBenedicta said:
I will be staying with the Carmelites of Cristo Rey in San Francisco on June 20-22 and then while in California, I will be going south to stay with the Menlo Park cloistered Dominican nuns from June 22 to 27th. Then I will visit the Carmelites of Springfield, Missouri in early July. 🙂

I am 48 yrs old with 2 grown kids (married/divorced/annulment) and these Carmels are open to me - for anyone in a similar situation to mine who feels called to great, traditional and full habited Carmels.

The Carmel of Springfield is a wonderful Carmel and on 5/27 lost their former prioress who was sick for awhile. They are now down to only 3 but they are still fairly young - the current prioress, Mother Marya is about 46 and the other two are around that age or a bit older so they are not a doddering old community! They are not closing but please call or write them if you have a Carmelite vocation. They don’t have a website but when I visit I hope to change Mother Marya’s mind as that my help me alot.

The Carmel of Cristo Rey has 35 as an upper age limit in their IRL profile, but they do and have excepted older when the woman has good health and a vocation to Carmel and their monastery. This is a bilingual community (the recreation and Divine Office is in English for 2 wks, then both are in Spanish for 2 wks). They came from Mexico over 75 yrs ago. They were founded from a Carmel in Mexico that was founded by a Carmel in Spain that St. Teresa of Avila founded herself! Wonderful history. 👍

As I am making sure I AM a Carmelite vocation :confused: , I would still like to visit the Visitation monasteries of Toledo and Tyringham (if these monasteries are to be my “home”!) and may go to England to visit and stay with the Colwich Benedictines and visit the St. Helen’s Carmel and the Wolverhhampton Carmel possibly. 🙂
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TB, EVeryone on this thread is, I am sure, DYING to hear all about your visits, the info that you and they feel comfortable in passing on, of course!

I think that being open–discreet but frank–can be a great help to other discerners. You and other discerners can discuss things off-line, of course. Many discerners just don’t have the $ or time to do a lot of visiting. They want to be able to make some sort of distinctions beforehand, more than websites and emails can do.

And I see that you’re not leaving the Benedictines out–maybe. The Colwich (abbey in the UK) blog, www.colwichnov.wordpress.com by Sr. Marie-Therese, “Stacey” who posts occasionally on Phatmass, looked at Carmel and Benedictine monasteries both. There are a lot of Benedictine contemplatives in the US–you’ve prob. listed them in your “Sr. in Trad Habits”–entries.
 
Two big topics, two elephants lumbering around the living room, which no one likes to acknowledge or discuss in relation to Religious Life.

Age has been more discussed than Weight. Both have recently discussed on phatmass, but I like to post here, as it’s more open.

AGE-- OK, there ARE a few communities, and I mean a FEW–Nashville OP’s, Ann Arbor OP’s, Sisters of Life, PCPA’s, than are growing big guns–trad, habited-and a few others which are growing some, but the largest branches of the largest orders, updated, non-habited, many semi-habited, are growing slowly or not at all. (There are also a lot of habited orders that aren’t growing, at all or much). IF you feel attracted to these orders by association, their charism, life-style, education (high), age, then as far as I can see, they do not consider age --up to the SIXTIES–an impediment at all. EACH women is considered as an individual. Fact: 5 Mercy branches united recently, ave age 70 Fact; 4 St. Francis groups with the same foundress united recently–ave age 73. Fact: five Holy Family of Naz united recently–no ave age given, but usually groups unite at least in part. because of advancing age.

IF they limit upper age THEY WILL SAY SO. IF they don’t

, they’ll say

“exceptions made”

“each case considering individually.”

dont let age alone hold yo back. GO FOR IT.
 
Folks on phatmass have described receiving a sudden change in plan when the photo is received or Free Advice on Weight Loss when they meet the superior in person.

We all know that being (approximately) the right weight is important. There are two general guides to one’s correct weight, one the BMI scale, the other maximum waist size. We also all know that weight loss and control is very difficult.

When I look at the members of religious orders and who’s in formation I see a lot of overweight individuals and, at least for the non-habited, modified habited, and updated orders, there do appear to be overweight people in formation that have gotten past the front door. So it does not appear to be a serious impediment in a lot of cases. Again, it’s probably a case-by-case situation.
 
I think (and please correct me if I’m wrong) that it all depends on wether a person’s weight is specifically impeading them. Like if you’re excess weight is stopping you from performing the things your order asks of you. I am overweight, but I’m a lot more in shape than I was before. (I take karate three days a week, and on the off days I do high intensity work outs, and swim, not to mention I eat a lot healthier than I used to, so I’m losing weight) so I don’t believe my weight would be a problem honestly. But I think any order would have to review it case by case. They need you healthy!
 
Denae said:
I think (and please correct me if I’m wrong) that it all depends on whether a person’s weight is specifically impeding them. Like if you’re excess weight is stopping you from performing the things your order asks of you. I am overweight, but I’m a lot more in shape than I was before. (I take karate three days a week, and on the off days I do high intensity work outs, and swim, not to mention I eat a lot healthier than I used to, so I’m losing weight) so I don’t believe my weight would be a problem honestly. But I think any order would have to review it case by case. They need you healthy!
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I think that you’re correct re the ‘impedance’-😉 -issue.

It *is *difficult to lose weight, isn’t it? I also exercise a lot and at least am more fit!
 
Denae said:
I think (and please correct me if I’m wrong) that it all depends on wether a person’s weight is specifically impeading them. Like if you’re excess weight is stopping you from performing the things your order asks of you. I am overweight, but I’m a lot more in shape than I was before. (I take karate three days a week, and on the off days I do high intensity work outs, and swim, not to mention I eat a lot healthier than I used to, so I’m losing weight) so I don’t believe my weight would be a problem honestly. But I think any order would have to review it case by case. They need you healthy!
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When I was at university and on the gymnastics team there was one gal who was very much more heavy than the rest of us. She could not really “pull her weight” on the bars or the vault or the balance beam, but she was a beauty on the floor exercise !!! Graceful as it comes !! For contemplative orders, I would not think that weight would matter as a top priority. Of course, I could be wrong, but I don’t see weight as a real problem there. Actually, I’m not sure why weight would matter at all unless it were a serious health problem. 👍 (and even skinny people have some kind of problem ! )
 
(Excess) Weight can easily become a burden - not because it is an impediment when entering, but it is a risk-factor for many, many illnesses to come.

Sad as it might be for some, I can understand any community that wouldn’t consider someone who is heavily overweight, because he/she has a very high risk to develop diabetes/orthopedical problems/heart diseases etc. which would be an emotional and financial strain to the community.

Nobody would be surprised if an order turned someone down because of severe, let’s say, diabetes (there are exceptions, of course), but excessive overweight is not so different at all.

I know of two seminarians who where told by the doctor that they should loose weight, and pronto, if they wished to enter. They did. They were not required to be “ideal weight” or anything, but not too far away from a healthy range. A healthy weight might be something more than the Brocca- or BMI-Index considers “normal”, but it is definitely not in the range that would be considered a sign of adipositas (that is not only a weight-issue, but a psychological issue, too).

I just went through the religious I know, and there are only some priests who sport a “beer belly”, as we call it here, most of them are “normal”. Perhaps that is coincidence, and luckily, the percentage of opeple who are veryoverweight is not as high in Germany yet as it is in the States. But we are catching up, sadly.
 
Cran said:
(Excess) Weight can easily become a burden - not because it is an impediment when entering, but it is a risk-factor for many, many illnesses to come.

Sad as it might be for some, I can understand any community that wouldn’t consider someone who is heavily overweight, because he/she has a very high risk to develop diabetes/orthopedical problems/heart diseases etc. which would be an emotional and financial strain to the community.

Nobody would be surprised if an order turned someone down because of severe, let’s say, diabetes (there are exceptions, of course), but excessive overweight is not so different at all.

I know of two seminarians who where told by the doctor that they should loose weight, and pronto, if they wished to enter. They did. They were not required to be “ideal weight” or anything, but not too far away from a healthy range. A healthy weight might be something more than the Brocca- or BMI-Index considers “normal”, but it is definitely not in the range that would be considered a sign of adipositas (that is not only a weight-issue, but a psychological issue, too).

I just went through the religious I know, and there are only some priests who sport a “beer belly”, as we call it here, most of them are “normal”. Perhaps that is coincidence, and luckily, the percentage of opeple who are veryoverweight is not as high in Germany yet as it is in the States. But we are catching up, sadly.
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I guess it depends on overweight or obese. And then I’m not exactly sure what the difference makes. It reminds me of a child born healthy and then is in an accident. They aren’t rejected by God…it’s all a mystery to me

Kathie
 
Hm… I didn’t know that over night could be obstacle for entering religious life 🙂 but now I know :).
 
kathielee said:
When I was at university and on the gymnastics team there was one gal who was very much more heavy than the rest of us. She could not really “pull her weight” on the bars or the vault or the balance beam, but she was a beauty on the floor exercise !!! Graceful as it comes !! For contemplative orders, I would not think that weight would matter as a top priority. Of course, I could be wrong, but I don’t see weight as a real problem there. Actually, I’m not sure why weight would matter at all unless it were a serious health problem. 👍 (and even skinny people have some kind of problem ! )
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All true.

Some of the most graceful dancers I have ever seen have been old and/or fat.

One caveat, tho’, with the contemplative life. Many do fast, like from Sept 'til Easter! And abstain, too. That may take some getting used to! When I view Trappist (men’s) websites, I note that a number of themare thin, not just normal, thin. It would be important to, ah, get some info on this before entering, or at least enter at the right time of year! Of course, the superior would probably anticipate this. My real problem would come in orders where there’s a buffet style serving, there are a lot of celebrations (all those cakes!), and there are retreats, etc. where there may be treats served with coffee. All big temptations.

The abbey journal from the OL of Sonoita, AZ, which is Trappistine, is wonderful and worth following, also maybe worth thinking about if you’re inclined that way. They need vocations and seem very nice. ANYway, the writer (the abbess, I think) recently attended the consecration of the Abbess of Wrentham Abbey–their wonderful Mother Agnes finally stepped down after 20 years–they have founded almost all other houses in the US–and reported that those religious attending really piled up the cake on their plates!
 
kathielee said:
I guess it depends on overweight or obese. And then I’m not exactly sure what the difference makes. It reminds me of a child born healthy and then is in an accident. They aren’t rejected by God…it’s all a mystery to me

Kathie
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The BMI charts have an overweight section adn then an obese section. It’s important because there are fewer complications if you’re just overweight. I personally think the BMI scale is pretty reasonable. There’s a large range for ‘normal’ and it depends on height; my top normal was pretty high. Then there’s an overweight range of 30 lbs or so. Then the obese starts. I’m in the middle of the overweight range and trying to get down to the top normal part, which is 18 lbs. less, a long way.

This link from the National institutes of Health is my favorite:

nhlbisupport.com/bmi/
 
wina said:
Hm… I didn’t know that over night could be obstacle for entering religious life 🙂 but now I know :).
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It isn’t *necessarily *an obstacle. it depends on the severity of the problem and the order.
 
I am a female of 27 years old and am currently thinking about possibly the religious life.I am looking into Holy Cross sisters. Possibly… I work a full time job and go to school fulltime, I am also seeking a female roommate with similar thoughts that we can compart a 2 bedroom apartment in San Antonio Texas. Please allow me to know… Most appreciated.🙂 Please ask any more questions if interested.

With Christ’s Love
arika_arex
 
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