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ChunkMonk
Guest
That’s too bad. Good for you though for being strong. Good luck in your journey and God Bless.
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theCardinalbird
Guest
LittleFlower378, may I ask, were you ever at one point in your life, in a situation where you were attracted to the same sex? Do you even understand why one could be attracted to the same sex?
Also, if i may be blunt as to say (and i am sure you are aware) that experiencing Same sex attraction, is not the same as lusting, and is not committing homosexual acts (both lusting and homosexual acts are sinful of course). The Church teaches this.
See Paragraph 3:
http://www.vatican.va/roman_curia/c...faith_doc_19861001_homosexual-persons_en.html
Also: People who experience same sex attraction did not choose their attraction. While it is easy to say that you can decide to change your attraction, may I point out there could be environmental, or even genetic problems that likely result in experiencing this attraction. The point I am trying to make is that not everyone is free to leave a disordered desire. I mean, look at Exodus international, thousands of people went there and I think (not sure) 99% did not change their desire, even though they decided they wanted to change. God can work his miracles and perhaps make someone attracted to the opposite sex, it could be possible. But forcing someone or even commanding someone to change their attraction does not end well and most likely will not happen.
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SuperLuigi
Guest
@Angel_Gabriel
These things are best discussed with a priest. I doubt you’ll find what you are looking for on the internet.
But I will say I am always very impressed with our GLBTQ brothers and sisters who buck the trend of the whims of society.
These things are best discussed with a priest. I doubt you’ll find what you are looking for on the internet.
But I will say I am always very impressed with our GLBTQ brothers and sisters who buck the trend of the whims of society.
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hmikell7
Guest
Have to say I agree with @guanophore here. While the desire to sleep with people of the same sex most certainly constitutes a temptation, the attraction is not in and of itself the temptation. Nor would I call that attraction unwanted. Unexpected maybe, at least in my own personal experience, but not unwanted. To call it unwanted is to suggest that it is a part of yourself you should try to be rid of. It isn’t.
God made me with my same sex attraction, and I am happy with the way I was created. THAT IS NOT TO SAY that I am in any way proud to have homosexual inclinations. Only that I accept the cross I have been given with joy, and will spend my days overcoming it with that same spirit of joy and thanksgiving. Why? Because I was made by his perfect hand and molded in his image, and that is something to be joyful about, regardless of anything else.
So while I am a person who could be called homosexual, I am no less of a child of God. I merely am capable of experiencing sexual attraction for my own sex, rather than for the opposite. And there is nothing wrong with this, provided that I don’t act upon it.
God made me with my same sex attraction, and I am happy with the way I was created. THAT IS NOT TO SAY that I am in any way proud to have homosexual inclinations. Only that I accept the cross I have been given with joy, and will spend my days overcoming it with that same spirit of joy and thanksgiving. Why? Because I was made by his perfect hand and molded in his image, and that is something to be joyful about, regardless of anything else.
So while I am a person who could be called homosexual, I am no less of a child of God. I merely am capable of experiencing sexual attraction for my own sex, rather than for the opposite. And there is nothing wrong with this, provided that I don’t act upon it.
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Angel_Gabriel
Guest
Thank you 
Yes I agree. Mostly I’m not bothered by these issues too much anymore(I’ve finally accepted that it’s who I am) but it does cause me pain when I see a fellow brother or sister in Christ suffer from them. Since I’m happily married it really isn’t an issue for me. I would never leave my husband for anyone else (man or woman) as I believe strongly in the sanctity of marriage especially having come from a broken family.
I am frustrated, however, when people seem to think we can just turn off the attraction…it just doesn’t work like that. I can keep it in check but it’s still there.
Yes I agree. Mostly I’m not bothered by these issues too much anymore(I’ve finally accepted that it’s who I am) but it does cause me pain when I see a fellow brother or sister in Christ suffer from them. Since I’m happily married it really isn’t an issue for me. I would never leave my husband for anyone else (man or woman) as I believe strongly in the sanctity of marriage especially having come from a broken family.I am frustrated, however, when people seem to think we can just turn off the attraction…it just doesn’t work like that. I can keep it in check but it’s still there.
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Prodigal_Son
Guest
Consenting to the fact that one has an unchosen experience is not a vice. It is a virtue: the virtue of acceptance.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change…
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GLam1761
Guest
I, for one can identify w/ the OP, the low libido,
I mean, but I have had two homosexual sexual
encounters and when I “came out” to my close
friends, they made fun of me, and I told them
I never had sex w/ my wife of 8.5 yrs. (b/c of
my low libido) they thot I was strictly gay, which
is NOT true, I’m “bisexual” but celibate b/c I
am not acting out on my desires w/ anyone.
I mean, but I have had two homosexual sexual
encounters and when I “came out” to my close
friends, they made fun of me, and I told them
I never had sex w/ my wife of 8.5 yrs. (b/c of
my low libido) they thot I was strictly gay, which
is NOT true, I’m “bisexual” but celibate b/c I
am not acting out on my desires w/ anyone.
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Ann1
Guest
How do you keep it in check.
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guanophore
Guest
While it is true that the Catechism describes same sex attraction as an intrinsic disorder, it is perfectly “natural” to those who have it. There may be some sort of oddity in how you define “natural”. There are may conditions of “nature” that are disordered (not ordered according to God’s intention".
Same sex attraction is not a “sin”. It is a condition which some persons must bear in a culture that is largely heterosexual. There are many conditions that are “normal” yet are considered sins. The lust of the flesh, the pride of life, all the conditions written in Scripture that characterize the fallen nature. Proclivities, or as Catholics call it “concupiscense” or the tendency to lean toward the carnal nature, is not, in itself, a sin.
It is important to distinguish between feelings/attractions and behavior. Sex outside of marriage is also a “sin”, but I assure you, it is very “normal” (what most people do) for people to engage in this behavior.
Honestly, this seems like a statement made by a person who has little or no understanding of human sexuality.
You have fallen into a bad habit of making assumptions about people that are not accurate. Being attracted to someone is not a sin, or a “bad habit”. It is not a vice. Heterosexual people are attracted to persons outside their marriage bond also. This is not a sin. What constitutes a sin is how a person responds to the attraction.
You are making two errant assumptions here. One is that a person “consents” to such things. They are instinctual, and occur outside the realm of “consent”. Second, you are assuming that persons who struggle with SSA “act” on their attractions. These are both false assumptions.
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guanophore
Guest
Heterosexuals never really have to think about this, or navigate through a world that is ordered opposite. If you ask them “when did you decide to be heterosexual” they cannot answer this, as it has seemed to them they were “born this way”, but if someone who is different claims the same, then somehow that is suspect!
A heterosexual person may never have been in a situation where they just had to “decide not to be attracted” so they just don’t understand that it does not work this way. Anyone who has fallen in love with an unavailable person will understand that it just cannot be “turned off”.
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Prodigal_Son
Guest
Maybe I can clear this up. “Nature” can be used descriptively or prescriptively. Descriptively, homosexuality is as natural as it gets: as natural as red hair or underbites or being double-jointed. But then again, I’m not sure what would be unnatural on this approach.
Prescriptively, homosexuality has been seen as unnatural by many different cultures over the course of history, and has rarely been seen as natural. The notion of “natural”, here, is generally something like “ordered toward human flourishing”. I don’t believe homosexuality is ordered toward human flourishing, in much the same way as blindness or autism isn’t ordered toward human flourishing. Homosexuality is associated with things like hormone imbalances in the womb and mental illness. Having homosexual sex doesn’t create children. There are a variety of reasons why it is seen as prescriptively unnatural.
That said, saying “don’t be gay” to someone is like telling an autistic person to lose their autism.
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guanophore
Guest
It is really no different than feelings of anger, jealousy, envy, greed or any number of inclinations that are “natural” to our fallen nature. If we pretend they don’t exist, it will only complicate matters.
I think it is different for different people. Accepting it is an important beginning. Once one takes “step one” of the 12 steps, recognizing that one is powerless over certain endemic responses, then one can take responsibility for coping with them.
It is always important to avoid “near occasions of sin”,which means that one needs to have intimate knowledge of what triggers certain responses (emotional, physical, or mental) and avoid them. In the thread above, the example was given of struggling with pornography. In such cases a person must work hard to avoid exposure to persons, places, and things that might trigger problems.
It is also important to replace the lies present in the culture in which we live with God’s perspective. Reading Scripture (I prefer listening to audio) and prayer (such as the Liturgy of the Hours) can strengthen our souls to resist temptation.
Frequent reception of the sacraments is also important. These are avenues of grace through which God heals us and molds us to be the persons He desires. Attend daily Mass if possible, and if not, listen to Mass on the radio. Read the daily Mass readings and meditate upon them. If/when you fall, RUN, don’t walk, to confession.
Look for a spiritual director with whom you can be open and receive support and guidance.
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Ann1
Guest
Thank you…it is really hard
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Angel_Gabriel
Guest
Well, I try not to objectify anyone, including my husband. Do I always succeed ? No, but I get up and try again. My priest always tells me to not “beat myslef up” about it, but to just keep trying. I’m lucky to hear that regularly . I will say that the older I get the easier it is becuase sex is just not as important to me as when I was younger…
. I will say that the older I get the easier it is becuase sex is just not as important to me as when I was younger…
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Edward_H
Guest
If sex was designed for marriage and marriage was designed for forever, how can people be bi-sexual?
How can “n” ever be > 1? Bi demands at least 2!
How can “n” ever be > 1? Bi demands at least 2!
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Prodigal_Son
Guest
Define “bisexual”, and I’ll answer your question.
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LittleFlower378
Guest
I agree with what you are saying in that one has these temptations or you can say inclinations to want to be with someone of the same sex, or find someone of the same sex attractive. Ok, your right this similiar to someone who suffers from having temptations or disordereed inclinations to want to be with someone outside the marriage bond, I have stated that above.
What I am talking about is consenting not to the fact that there is inclinations but consenting to the inclinations themselves. People that have excepted they have a problem with this are like any sinner, they accept the fact they have had the inclinations but should always reject consenting to it. They reject any sinful desire. They should not be calling themselves homosexuality or bisexual unless they are giving into these inclinations and temptations.
All this talk about homosexuality is purposely blown up by our culture so it can be normalized, and accepted as something that people should give into. It’s huge deception. People suffer from all sorts of disordered sinful inclinations and temptations, why blow up same sex attraction.
What I am talking about is consenting not to the fact that there is inclinations but consenting to the inclinations themselves. People that have excepted they have a problem with this are like any sinner, they accept the fact they have had the inclinations but should always reject consenting to it. They reject any sinful desire. They should not be calling themselves homosexuality or bisexual unless they are giving into these inclinations and temptations.
All this talk about homosexuality is purposely blown up by our culture so it can be normalized, and accepted as something that people should give into. It’s huge deception. People suffer from all sorts of disordered sinful inclinations and temptations, why blow up same sex attraction.
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Edward_H
Guest
Anyone who has had sex or let their imagination have sex with both sexes. This obviously includes masturbation; so those who lust in their hearts have already sinned as Jesus taught us.
Anyone who has nursed these thoughts along.
Anyone who has nursed these thoughts along.
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BoomBoomMancini
Guest
Can you clarify this? I’m not following. Because marriage is exclusive and lifelong, people can’t be bisexual? Huh?
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Edward_H
Guest
If sex is for marriage. (N=1)
If marriage is for life. (N=1)
How can anyone have sex in person or in their imagination/masturbation with both genders (N = 2).
Mariage was made for one man and one women. Marriage forms a complementary union, that provides a proper means to use one’s sexual capacity, as an act of self-gift, open to the fruits of that self-gift, spilling out God’s love into the world.
If marriage is for life. (N=1)
How can anyone have sex in person or in their imagination/masturbation with both genders (N = 2).
Mariage was made for one man and one women. Marriage forms a complementary union, that provides a proper means to use one’s sexual capacity, as an act of self-gift, open to the fruits of that self-gift, spilling out God’s love into the world.
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