Three Principals For Honoring Your Husband

[AngryAtheist8]

Well, I’m not, but I suppose I could see why you would think so if your definition if equality is only concerning amounts of authority. I’m saying that there are a number of roles to be filled by either husband or wife, and they work out equally in the end, with the husband tempering his authority with love and the wife tempering her possible desire to be the authority with respect for the husband’s role as head of household. But I do like the response given a bit earlier in this thread in response to something I’d said… Will quote in a second.

-Maria :]

I am glad you admit that the traditional notion of male headship in marriage doesn’t allow for female authority. So many advocates of headship promote the bogus argument that the wife has a lesser (but still influential) authority in that kind of marriage arrangement.

Such frankness is refreshing.

 

[Serap]

I am glad you admit that the traditional notion of male headship in marriage doesn’t allow for female authority. So many advocates of headship promote the bogus argument that the wife has a lesser (but still influential) authority in that kind of marriage arrangement.

Such frankness is refreshing.

Yes, I agree with you AA. I have serious issues with “wives, submit to your husbands” in the way it is interpreted by many so called Christians and Catholics…

I’m not submitting to anyone. I will make necessary sacrifices for my marriage that are needed for my family to be happy. I spend all of my time with my kids and husband (when he’s free to join us). I keep our house somewhat clean. I cook nutritious meals for everyone’s health. I go without so my kids can dance, play soccer, etc. I don’t fight with my husband in front of the kids. I often let my husband win an agruement for the sake of peace.

I do not subscribe to being a good wife = being submissive and inferior. My husband would never respect me if I took on this attitude…he likes my backbone.

 

[LucyLight]

Dear Maria, I am not saying that there is something wrong with a husband (or a wife) being the head of the household.** I am just saying that it is not Catholic doctrine and it should not be presented as such.** According to Catholic teaching on marriage, both spouses are equal, they have the same obligations and they are called to love and respect one another. I do not know which civil marriage vows you used. I got married in the Catholic Church and used one of the forms from the Roman Missal. There was no mention of obedience to my husband. I am not using this as a yardstick, but simply making a statement. As far as St. Paul’s words are concerned, Catholics do not believe in sola Scriptura. We rely on the Magisterium for its interpretation, so the fact the Magisterium did not elaborate on this passage from St. Paul in the same way some people in this thread do is relevant. The Catholic Church does not approve Biblical literalism. St. Paul also accepts slavery, but I hope that if you - or other people in this thread - ever encountered a slave, did not tell him/her to just go back to his master!
All I am trying to say is that Catholics have to follow Catholic teaching but have to obligation to believe a Protestant author on marriage. If it works for your marriage and others, fine. Just do not present it as God’s plan. In my marriage, we make decisions together. If we disagree, we pray and wait and then talk it out again. If we cannot reach an agreement, we try to compromise, ask for advice, pray some more and then decide together. Sometimes, one of us decides to leave the decision to the other for practical reasons (because one of us just has more knowledge or experience on a given issue), certainly not because one is male and the other female!

I honestly think that a lot of Catholics are unaware of what the Church teaches and end up following common protestant ideals.

 

[Serap]

I honestly think that a lot of Catholics are unaware of what the Church teaches and end up following common protestant ideals.

Emmelia comes across as a very intelligent woman. The Catholic church does not teach women to be submissive to husbands. I wish more men realized this.

 

[saveusfromhell]

Are you referring to people who advocate women having the same social and legal rights as men?

radical feminists are the scourge of society, having brought about the killing of countless children via abortions.

 

[ryecroft]

"radical feminists are the scourge of society, having brought about the killing of countless children via abortions. "

O.K. I give up- I’ll bite (although I may regret it…) - Saveusfromhell, what is your point in saying this with regards to this discussion?

God Bless
Rye

 

[PennyinCanada]

A man who fears God and knows that he will have to come before God to give an account for his life, this man is one who is thoughtful, prayerful, loving, one who seeks wisdom. Mary and Jesus were under the care of St Joseph, who must have been humbled by the charges in his care. I would not have a problem with St Joseph as my husband. There have been very few times where I might say to my husband, *How would you feel if you came before God for that decision? * It would make him shiver. To fear the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.

If a woman says “He’s going to do what he wants anyway”, does not know such a man. There are men like that in neighborhoods, workplaces, and churches, but it’s not like they walk around with a heavenly glow for all to know. I am very grateful to the Catholic families who are putting in an effort to raise young men like this. What an uphill battle!

 

[heart4home]

Emmelia comes across as a very intelligent woman. The Catholic church does not teach women to be submissive to husbands. I wish more men realized this.

The Catholic Church doesn’t teach women to be submissive within the definition that you seem to want to give to submission.

You seem to be saying that you think it means “having no backbone” or being oppressed. It does not.

I think Father Echert explains it well.

ewtn.org/vexperts/showmessage.asp?number=562010&Pg=Forum7&Pgnu=1&recnu=1

"The Church provides several options for the readings on the Feast of the Holy Family among which is a biblical text from Saint Paul on the matter of Christian marriage and family:

“Put on, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another, if one has a grievance against another; as the Lord has forgiven you, so must you also do. And over all these put on love, that is, the bond of perfection. And let the peace of Christ control your hearts, the peace into which you were also called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, as in all wisdom you teach and admonish one another, singing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or in deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is proper in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and avoid any bitterness toward them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this is pleasing to the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, so they may not become discouraged.”

This is a biblical text that some prefer to skip over because what is demanded of spouses but that is a disservice to the Christian theology of marriage. Relative to customs of the ancient Middle East this teaching on the dignity of a wife was countercultural; relative to the feminism of modern times it remains countercultural to this day. Saint Paul rooted this changeless teaching in the original order of creation and the spiritual recreation accomplished through Christ. A husband is called to sacrificial love for his spouse, as Christ died for the Church, and a wife is called to submission to her spouse, as the Church is obedient to Christ. **The two are subject to one another but not in identical ways. As Pope Pius XI expressed it:
**
“The submission of the wife neither ignores nor suppresses the liberty to which her dignity as a human person and her noble functions as wife, mother and companion give her the full right. It does not oblige her to yield indiscriminately to all the desires of her husband, which may be unreasonable or incompatible with her wifely dignity. Nor does it mean that she is on a level with persons who in law are called minors and who are ordinarily denied the unrestricted exercise of their rights on the ground of their immature judgment and inexperience. But it does forbid such abuse of freedom as would neglect the welfare of the family; it refuses, in this body which is the family, to allow the heart to be separated from the head, with great detriment to the body itself and even with risk of disaster. If the husband is the head of the domestic body, then the wife is its heart; and as the first holds the primacy of authority, so the second can and ought to claim the primacy of love.” (Casti connubii, 10)

Father Echert"

I think for the most part this is exactly what you are saying Serap, but you seem to be very bothered by the word submission .

 

[thewanderer]

AA8,

Are you really saying that if the husdand has the final say then the wife is not equal?
So if I were, out of love and as a sign of respect to my husband, let him make the final decision on many matters that would affect our family I would lose my equality with him? In order for me to be equal I need to ensure that we each get the final say the exact ssame number of times?

I sure hope that all you mean is that if a woman is forced into submitting there is something wrong with that. Yes, it is wrong to force a woman to give up her say in something simply because she’s a woman. And while there are people that still try to force their wife into submission, or who mistakenly believe that the Catholic Church teaches that all women must always let their husbands have the final say, there are a lot of people who love the idea of giving up their say in certain matters as a sign of love for their spouse, and this is a beautiful thing. And as I said before, I haven’t seen anything yet which implies that anyone who spoke of submission as a good thing think that women should all be forced to submit just because they are women.

 

[teresadeavila]

Such statements remind me of this quote:

“The curse of modern times is the propensity of male hormones in places where they can do the most damage”
― Robert James Waller

I think in marriage we submit to God first, wholly and completely, then in mimicking his love for us and redemptive grace, submit wholly and completely to each other as husband and wife. Men should feel respected and admired, women loved like they are queens of their universe. Took us 11 yrs to figure this out, and we’re still working on it.

 

[Serap]

The Catholic Church doesn’t teach women to be submissive within the definition that you seem to want to give to submission.

You seem to be saying that you think it means “having no backbone” or being oppressed. It does not.

NO, I do not think this. Other Catholics on this thread do and that’s who my argument is directed.

I think Father Echert explains it well.

ewtn.org/vexperts/showmessage.asp?number=562010&Pg=Forum7&Pgnu=1&recnu=1

"The Church provides several options for the readings on the Feast of the Holy Family among which is a biblical text from Saint Paul on the matter of Christian marriage and family:

“Put on, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another, if one has a grievance against another; as the Lord has forgiven you, so must you also do. And over all these put on love, that is, the bond of perfection. And let the peace of Christ control your hearts, the peace into which you were also called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, as in all wisdom you teach and admonish one another, singing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or in deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is proper in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and avoid any bitterness toward them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this is pleasing to the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, so they may not become discouraged.”

This is a biblical text that some prefer to skip over because what is demanded of spouses but that is a disservice to the Christian theology of marriage. Relative to customs of the ancient Middle East this teaching on the dignity of a wife was countercultural; relative to the feminism of modern times it remains countercultural to this day. Saint Paul rooted this changeless teaching in the original order of creation and the spiritual recreation accomplished through Christ. A husband is called to sacrificial love for his spouse, as Christ died for the Church, and a wife is called to submission to her spouse, as the Church is obedient to Christ. **The two are subject to one another but not in identical ways. As Pope Pius XI expressed it:
**
“The submission of the wife neither ignores nor suppresses the liberty to which her dignity as a human person and her noble functions as wife, mother and companion give her the full right. It does not oblige her to yield indiscriminately to all the desires of her husband, which may be unreasonable or incompatible with her wifely dignity. Nor does it mean that she is on a level with persons who in law are called minors and who are ordinarily denied the unrestricted exercise of their rights on the ground of their immature judgment and inexperience. But it does forbid such abuse of freedom as would neglect the welfare of the family; it refuses, in this body which is the family, to allow the heart to be separated from the head, with great detriment to the body itself and even with risk of disaster. If the husband is the head of the domestic body, then the wife is its heart; and as the first holds the primacy of authority, so the second can and ought to claim the primacy of love.” (Casti connubii, 10)

Father Echert"

I think for the most part this is exactly what you are saying Serap, but you seem to be very bothered by the word submission .

Nope, not bothered by word “submission”. I am very much loved and respected by my husband for my ability to be flexible as a wife and mother.

 

[judcargile]

Did ANYBODY bother to read what I posted?! From the conversations that I have read thus far, I can only recommend that you STOP, be STILL and read it again. This is not an article it is my thumbnail referneced to a book Written by Dr. Tony Evans. There is also a companion book for Married men that is three principals for loving your wife. I have made a similar post here on that one. BELIEVE me, men have alot more duties to you than you will ever have to them. Most of you seem brain-washed along with most of the Western Culture due to the Women’s Liberation Movement, and the rest of the leftist **** that f-r-e-e-d you all exactly into WHAT?! Women had the power before they were taught to give it away to whoever you felt like, and once they were convinced that raising their children was not the most important job in the world, substitutes were found. Once the left broke the family apart, tradition stopped being handed down and garbage started coming in! Eleven days and I get to leave this jacked-up country; You all can have it, BELIEVE me! You are not men, you can not be men and you do not have the sense to realize that men do not want to be married to men.
I know that there are concious deceivers here in these chat rooms; But, let me assure you of one thing. God is not on trial, nor is His Bride…We are the ones on trial and I suggest you get very humble, very quickly!

 

[judcargile]

AA8,

Are you really saying that if the husdand has the final say then the wife is not equal?
So if I were, out of love and as a sign of respect to my husband, let him make the final decision on many matters that would affect our family I would lose my equality with him? In order for me to be equal I need to ensure that we each get the final say the exact ssame number of times?

I sure hope that all you mean is that if a woman is forced into submitting there is something wrong with that. Yes, it is wrong to force a woman to give up her say in something simply because she’s a woman. And while there are people that still try to force their wife into submission, or who mistakenly believe that the Catholic Church teaches that all women must always let their husbands have the final say, there are a lot of people who love the idea of giving up their say in certain matters as a sign of love for their spouse, and this is a beautiful thing. And as I said before, I haven’t seen anything yet which implies that anyone who spoke of submission as a good thing think that women should all be forced to submit just because they are women.

PLEASE! Explain to me how two people can both have the final say? Your husband is responsible. You do not have to believe that. You BOTH are equal in dignity…you never had the same roles! If I could BE a mother, I would have adopted years ago!

 

[judcargile]

Originally Posted by AngryAtheist8
If the husband has all the power, then the wife in a very real way is not his equal.

How does that make any sense?

You are basically saying that 2+2=5.

No! 2+3=5 You have to have both to have 5. You are just different and anybody who has been married for more than a week KNOWS that men and women think differently.

Men know what they think

Women know how they feel

Women want to be the one and only

Men want to be respected

 

[Serap]

Did ANYBODY bother to read what I posted?! From the conversations that I have read thus far, I can only recommend that you STOP, be STILL and read it again. This is not an article it is my thumbnail referneced to a book Written by Dr. Tony Evans. There is also a companion book for Married men that is three principals for loving your wife. I have made a similar post here on that one. BELIEVE me, men have alot more duties to you than you will ever have to them. Most of you seem brain-washed along with most of the Western Culture due to the Women’s Liberation Movement, and the rest of the leftist **** that f-r-e-e-d you all exactly into WHAT?! Women had the power before they were taught to give it away to whoever you felt like, and once they were convinced that raising their children was not the most important job in the world, substitutes were found. Once the left broke the family apart, tradition stopped being handed down and garbage started coming in! Eleven days and I get to leave this jacked-up country; You all can have it, BELIEVE me! You are not men, you can not be men and you do not have the sense to realize that men do not want to be married to men.
I know that there are concious deceivers here in these chat rooms; But, let me assure you of one thing. God is not on trial, nor is His Bride…We are the ones on trial and I suggest you get very humble, very quickly!

I eat humble pie everyday being a mom and wife. I go without a lot for the happiness of my family. I am not submissive…it’s just not who I am. My family unit is working out great. I don’t need to be humbled.

You are very concerned with other people…just concentrate on your own journey and you’ll be a lot happier.

I am woman…hear me roar…well…my kids definitely hear it every now and then

 

[Serap]

No! 2+3=5 You have to have both to have 5. You are just different and anybody who has been married for more than a week KNOWS that men and women think differently.

Men know what they think

Women know how they feel

Women want to be the one and only

Men want to be respected

I want respect too…just sayin’

I know what I think and how I feel.

My husband also wants to be the one and only.

I think each marriage has different dynamics and one size does not fit all. What is missing in today’s society is not women being submissive, it’s 2 people failing to be committed to a life-long committment. No one wants to sacrifice for the betterment of their family. Men and women have become very materialistic and selfish.

 

[28562]

I eat humble pie everyday being a mom and wife. I go without a lot for the happiness of my family. ** I am not submissive…**it’s just not who I am. My family unit is working out great. I don’t need to be humbled.

You are very concerned with other people…just concentrate on your own journey and you’ll be a lot happier.

I am woman…hear me roar…well…my kids definitely hear it every now and then

I really think that you, along with MANY other people on this thread, really are not taking the word ‘submit’ as it is meant!

 

[Serap]

I really think that you, along with MANY other people on this thread, really are not taking the word ‘submit’ as it is meant!

*sub·mis·sive   /səbˈmɪsɪv/ Show Spelled[suhb-mis-iv] Show IPA
adjective

1. inclined or ready to submit; unresistingly or humbly obedient: submissive servants.
2. marked by or indicating submission: a submissive reply. *

I am not obedient to my husband. I am not a submissive servant. I’m just not the submissive type of person. My marriage is working out great. I’ve always been an extremely outspoken person.

I just backdown sometimes for the sake of the kids and our peace. If that’s submissive (I call it being diplomatic), then I guess I can be submissive at times. Hubby has a temper and if he’s being irrational, I just go “yeah you’re right” so we can move on and enjoy our day.

 

[judcargile]

Men, who are called to serve as husbands and fathers, I pray that you find these words and may the seeds be planted in the hearts of all men that will hear you. It was the destruction of the family that has destroyed this nation in the US and your virtue (Latin word meaning “to be a man.”) will break any sword.
You have the duty to serve, firstly your wife; yet, you do not know your role!
You are her Savior!
You are her Sanctifier!
You are her Satisfier!
Husbands love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church. Christ showed His love in SACRIFICE, SUFFERING and SUBSTITUTION.
Sacrificing for Your Wife by his command and example, He gave Himself up for The Holy Mother Church, The Bride of Christ! Your love should be cruciform-in the shape of a cross. It is NOT about wearing a crown and being King of our castle. He wore a crown of THORNS first and then the cross came before His glory! Is the sacrificial way you love your wife obvious in ANY way? Men love to rap, rap, rap about their love and sound SO impressive about how we are going to protect them and even die if need be. Who do you personally know anyone who has actually taken a bullet? Can you nail your desires and agenda to the cross and love our wives and meet her needs? The sacrifice has to go beyond words…she HAS to see you walk that walk!
To sanctify something is to set it apart from ordinary use for a special purpose. God takes ordinary objects and peoples and sanctifies them for His Glory. They are set apart from their past and unto the future He would wish for them. You made promises to your wife (or will) about her future, are you just parroting words? Again, the Bride of Christ, His Body, and The Church is disconnected from a past of sin and through His grace we are made obedient to His given law and will. The process of this transformation was manifested through His death and until you die to yourself and leave your worldly desires in the world you should be disconnected from, you are not the example that Christ gave; you are just talking a good talk! If a man does not work, he should not eat…seeing how Hollywood, the TV and the ‘street’ are the antithesis of the truth?
Satisfying the needs of your wife as Christ does for His Church is probably a little harder than any of us thought it would be. “C’mon, I had NO IDEA that she was THAT needy!” Well, you talked such a good game while you were trying to win her over…but, you did not realize that you were going to have to become a servant to learn how to become the leader. Christ washed the feet of His Apostles giving us the example to do as He has done. Do not wait around for your wives to serve you, set the example in your home by being the one who serves!

 

[judcargile]

Men, who are called to serve as husbands and fathers, I pray that you find these words and may the seeds be planted in the hearts of all men that will hear you. It was the destruction of the family that has destroyed this nation in the US and your virtue (Latin word meaning “to be a man.”) will break any sword.
You have the duty to serve, firstly your wife; yet, you do not know your role!
You are her Savior!
You are her Sanctifier!
You are her Satisfier!
Husbands love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church. Christ showed His love in SACRIFICE, SUFFERING and SUBSTITUTION.
Sacrificing for Your Wife by his command and example, He gave Himself up for The Holy Mother Church, The Bride of Christ! Your love should be cruciform-in the shape of a cross. It is NOT about wearing a crown and being King of our castle. He wore a crown of THORNS first and then the cross came before His glory! Is the sacrificial way you love your wife obvious in ANY way? Men love to rap, rap, rap about their love and sound SO impressive about how we are going to protect them and even die if need be. Who do you personally know anyone who has actually taken a bullet? Can you nail your desires and agenda to the cross and love our wives and meet her needs? The sacrifice has to go beyond words…she HAS to see you walk that walk!
To sanctify something is to set it apart from ordinary use for a special purpose. God takes ordinary objects and peoples and sanctifies them for His Glory. They are set apart from their past and unto the future He would wish for them. You made promises to your wife (or will) about her future, are you just parroting words? Again, the Bride of Christ, His Body, and The Church is disconnected from a past of sin and through His grace we are made obedient to His given law and will. The process of this transformation was manifested through His death and until you die to yourself and leave your worldly desires in the world you should be disconnected from, you are not the example that Christ gave; you are just talking a good talk! If a man does not work, he should not eat…seeing how Hollywood, the TV and the ‘street’ are the antithesis of the truth?
Satisfying the needs of your wife as Christ does for His Church is probably a little harder than any of us thought it would be. “C’mon, I had NO IDEA that she was THAT needy!” Well, you talked such a good game while you were trying to win her over…but, you did not realize that you were going to have to become a servant to learn how to become the leader. Christ washed the feet of His Apostles giving us the example to do as He has done. Do not wait around for your wives to serve you, set the example in your home by being the one who serves!

This was posted first. After all, I am not a TOTAL pig. I am just sick of the leftist lies that enslave all of my beautiful sisters!