N
- Status
H
Havard
Guest
The idea that Dads are necessarily less engaged or the idea that Father’s Day is one of the few times Dad spends time with his family is a poor reflection on the state of family life in our culture. So I think she’s on to something…
E
EasterJoy
Guest
The author is so far out in left field, I don’t know where to start.
I don’t know any dads that cook their own meals on Father’s Day, and I don’t know any moms who don’t spend Mother’s Day with their children. I don’t know dads who get childcare duties on Father’s Day. I don’t know anybody who gets breakfast in bed, and I don’t know anybody who doesn’t get to go out to eat, if they’d rather eat out than at home. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t see their dad as someone who hugs them or their mother as someone who gives them values and discipline.
…so where is the sexism, that we notice that the same sort of special day is a somewhat different experience for many fathers than for many mothers?
The comparison with gay parents is a little weird, since by definition we’re talking about parents who think it is their own gender that completes them, and not the opposite gender. Of course couples like that are going to have “blurred gender roles”. How could homosexual couples have anything else? What did the research think, that they’d rent someone?
I don’t know any dads that cook their own meals on Father’s Day, and I don’t know any moms who don’t spend Mother’s Day with their children. I don’t know dads who get childcare duties on Father’s Day. I don’t know anybody who gets breakfast in bed, and I don’t know anybody who doesn’t get to go out to eat, if they’d rather eat out than at home. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t see their dad as someone who hugs them or their mother as someone who gives them values and discipline.
…so where is the sexism, that we notice that the same sort of special day is a somewhat different experience for many fathers than for many mothers?
The comparison with gay parents is a little weird, since by definition we’re talking about parents who think it is their own gender that completes them, and not the opposite gender. Of course couples like that are going to have “blurred gender roles”. How could homosexual couples have anything else? What did the research think, that they’d rent someone?
N
Nimzovik
Guest
Indeed!
H
Havard
Guest
She spent a good amount of time addressing greeting cards, and I do see a lot of what she mentions in them. For example, nearly every year, I see jokes about how Dad is hopeless, how Mom keeps everything organized. Or sometimes how Mom needs a “break”, but you don’t ever see anything implying Dad needs one. I’m not super-offended, but it does seem to advance the stereotype that Dads are disengaged.
N
Nimzovik
Guest
Yes… This I find disturbing. This perpetuating of disengaged Fathers.
Fathers* are* engaged when they are at work, engaged in providing…
Fathers* are* engaged when they are at work, engaged in providing…
M
MarcoPolo
Guest
Sounds to me like the author is encouraging the dilution of genders and their qualities and wants to see greeting cards feature androgynous stick figures, suitable for either holiday.
V
VeritasLuxMea
Guest
Shouldn’t they be “engaged” at home as well, to some extent?
H
Havard
Guest
Without question, IMHO. And moms should be teaching honor and integrity.
S
silentfactor80
Guest
Hey Nim! Great to see you post again! If it is written by a liberal woman it is almost certainly going to have sexism involved because it is almost certainly going to reflect the feminist agenda which is to highlight all the supposed male inadequacies as justification for a power transfer to groups that only care about women. It is called relational aggression and it is something women excel at (silive.com/relationships/index.ssf/2010/09/the_queens_of_mean.html).
As far as Mothers Day goes, I think the way we glorify motherhood and not fatherhood is sexist. Have you been to the card store lately? Almost any card for a man is laced with some sexist or insulting punchline. I have seen very few if any cards that celebrate a woman with a sexist or insulting punchline. The irony is fatherhood is falling apart and the most society can do is make fun of it while failing to point out good examples. For once I would like to see mothers lead the way and honor their husbands for the good they do. I would also like to see them boycott the card stores and make their own cards. That is what I do now. As far as I’m concerned Hallmark can go bankrupt and I’ll be happy to send them a condolence card.
G
GRATEFULONEjim
Guest
Congratulations to all the Catholics who keep electing officials that promote this out of control political correctness. I salute you:tiphat::tsktsk:
A
AnnArbor
Guest
As are many mothers. I think the author has a valid point – the stereotypes of the clueless father and the mother who does all the nurturing and childcare are damaging to both sexes. In our home, it is the man who does the grocery shopping, laundry and much of the cleaning – as well as works full-time. And he spends a lot of quality time with the children.
It is the woman who does the cooking, the kitchen cleaning and the vacuuming – as well as works full-time. And she spends a lot of quality time with the children.
Neither parent is disengaged, neither is the sole role model for the value of paid work, neither is the sole role model for who does housework.
R
russet1
Guest
Didn’t even read the link I just think it is funny that you are asking if something in Time Magazine is true.
K
KnightofSilence
Guest
I agree.
E
EasterJoy
Guest
If greeting cards are a serious indication of how we regard each other as human beings, we are in serious trouble.
Now, if we could get those big burly football players to say “Hi, DAD!!” or better yet, “Hi, EQUALLY-HONORED PARENTAL UNITS!!” when the ESPN cameras troll the sidelines, then we’ll be getting somewhere…
H
Havard
Guest
Greeting cards are but one example. Compare dads from older tv with dads in modern programming. They used to be family men, now they’re the family clowns.If greeting cards are a serious indication of how we regard each other as human beings, we are in serious trouble.
Now, if we could get those big burly football players to say “Hi, DAD!!” or better yet, “Hi, EQUALLY-HONORED PARENTAL UNITS!!” when the ESPN cameras troll the sidelines, then we’ll be getting somewhere…
K
Kelfa28
Guest
One of the most famous moments in sport’s history was “The Miracle on Ice” and Jim Craig, the goalie, had just won the gold medal.If greeting cards are a serious indication of how we regard each other as human beings, we are in serious trouble.
Now, if we could get those big burly football players to say “Hi, DAD!!” or better yet, “Hi, EQUALLY-HONORED PARENTAL UNITS!!” when the ESPN cameras troll the sidelines, then we’ll be getting somewhere…
So who was he looking for in the stands after they won?
His father…
He kept repeating “where’s my father” until he saw him in the stands!
B
Brando
Guest
It seems like the main argument isn’t that Mother’s Day is sexist against women, but rather that Mother’s Day/Father’s Day is sexist *against men. *And much of our popular culture is set up that way. TV shows us the bumbling, incompetent father and the amazing, patient mother. Greeting cards show us the same thing, and we shouldn’t ignore the damage that allowing these ideas into our culture presents.
Fathers are important. They’re good. We sacrifice a lot. For more traditional families, we sacrifice being sole breadwinners for the family. We then go home, change diapers, stay up with children, cook dinner, help our wives to relax, go to bed for a few hours and then start the whole thing over.
As a new father, it’s the greatest thing I can imagine. But to have society reduce my wife’s role as someone who wants nothing more than a break from her family is insulting to both of us. To reduce my role as a bumbling fool is an insult to both of us and a dangerous attack on my son.
My hope for Father’s Day is to spend the day at home. To change diapers, to spend the entire day with my son, not because it’s the only time I do it, but because it’s what I signed up for: to be a dad every day.
Fathers are important. They’re good. We sacrifice a lot. For more traditional families, we sacrifice being sole breadwinners for the family. We then go home, change diapers, stay up with children, cook dinner, help our wives to relax, go to bed for a few hours and then start the whole thing over.
As a new father, it’s the greatest thing I can imagine. But to have society reduce my wife’s role as someone who wants nothing more than a break from her family is insulting to both of us. To reduce my role as a bumbling fool is an insult to both of us and a dangerous attack on my son.
My hope for Father’s Day is to spend the day at home. To change diapers, to spend the entire day with my son, not because it’s the only time I do it, but because it’s what I signed up for: to be a dad every day.
H
Havard
Guest
Congratulations Brando!!! It sounds like you’re going to be a great dad. 
K
KnightofSilence
Guest
Speaking from a Catholics/mans perspective, (Obviously God above everything)
we want nothing more than to provide and protect for our families and
I suspect Woman feel the same way with their roles now
what I have described above is from the CATHOLIC viewpoint, we care nothing of vain worldly pleasures and the lazy self-orientated secular view is quite frankly insulting and even embarrassing to us Children of God.
we want nothing more than to provide and protect for our families and
I suspect Woman feel the same way with their roles now
what I have described above is from the CATHOLIC viewpoint, we care nothing of vain worldly pleasures and the lazy self-orientated secular view is quite frankly insulting and even embarrassing to us Children of God.
- Status