Tired of being single

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Sierrah said:
Agreed my parents were opposites. My mom could be kind of quiet at times but was social and liked to join groups. My dad was always sort of loud but not much of joiner though he does like to talk.
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I too sometimes wonder how some people end up together. Back in college I was friends with a guy and girl, she was super thin and he was pretty overweight. But they clicked and have now been married a couple years. They are great together, but if you just saw them at a glance you may wonder what she saw in him or why they are together (from an appearance aspect).

My parents are definite opposites in terms of personality. One is quiet/reserved the other is more outgoing/social. But they compliment each other well.

Ironically, I find myself attracted to girls who are compliment me and differ to some extent from a personality standpoint. In terms of physical attraction, I generally like girls similar to myself when it comes to fitness/being in shape.
 
Sierrah said:
Well not being a vain person I look at some couples and wonder how they ever ended up together. Tiny guys with huge women, Taller women with really short guys, Outgoing types with complete homebodies, on and on. Makes you wonder about Gods sense of humor and why the rest of us who aren’t considered repulsive may be in good shape or even some who are beautiful even can’t find someone??? …
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It probably shows that love is a mystery and can’t be defined, narrowed, scientifically formulated and so on. It also makes us notice that love is a gift, so we can’t lay a claim and expect things.

On the other hand, using my own example, I’ve had women ask my ex if I weren’t a model or something of that kind, which basically rules out physical unattractiveness (generally women I know will describe me as handsome or very handsome or attractive), some things on my resume supposedly intimidate women who are interested and whom I would rate as more on the intellectual side than I am, and people tend to have a high opinion of my supposed attractiveness or my personal worth (higher than it really is), but in the end I end up being the one who is not wanted.

I don’t know the mechanics of it, though I could piece together a theory or three (INTJs or conceptual thinkers have no problem simultaneously processing mutually contradicting theories). I don’t know what gives. I suppose if I really were all that into a woman I would probably unleash all my resourcefulness, leading to a different result than in most cases, but who knows.

At any rate, my current plan is to make war and bring war to the bad boy camp. So I’m going to have another Prince Charming tour, starting from a professional photo session to go with my resume and all the online profiles, complete with more consistent and meticulous visual awesomeness (as in no more unshaven face and less than shiny shoes etc.), as well as all the added value in communication I can throw on people, on top of making the most out of my academics and my newly opened business, precisely to serve as a piece of comparatory data, something I’m good at. If any woman gets to think, “maybe on second thought I don’t want to fall for that guy who [insert unacceptable behaviour of your choice],” it will be a small victory (and all the supposed attractiveness will only make it easier because the comparatory data won’t be able to be dismissed with a, “but he’s [insert negative description]”). At least I’ll put a dent in the bad team’s success rate and save some women from a bad choice by giving them data to compare against. It will be a source of satisfaction too.
 
‘Tired of being single…’

deep exhale I know how you feel girl…
 
This seems like as good a place as any to ask. Should I go to a Catholic Speed Dating event? I’m thinking about it, not because I expect to meet my future husband there, but so that I can meet other people, and also, just to say that I did it. (I like adventures.)
 
Short answer: no.

Long answer: no dating for adventure. Dating is for finding a spouse *in the long run *(meaning at least not in disconnect with it). Having some coffee doesn’t necessarily fall under dating for this purpose.
 
I think a Catholic speed dating could be fun! It never hurts to go out and do stuff. You might meet some cool Catholics.
 
IMHO- I would never do the speed dating…catholic or otherwise…idk. Theres just something ‘desperate’ to the whole dating service thing. Thats just how I feel, though. I’d be totally awkward and feel like meat on display.
 
Sierrah said:
No I’m not desperate for a man. Nor am I looking for someone to financially provide for me. I can take care of myself emotionally and financially it’s the companionship with a kindred spirit I crave. I feel like hey God you gave me this calling to get married and have a family…ok I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’ll never have kids. I’m not sure at this point I could fit them in my life but even Adam was allowed some company. 🤷 🤷
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How old are you?
 
Sierrah said:
No I’m not desperate for a man. Nor am I looking for someone to financially provide for me. I can take care of myself emotionally and financially it’s the companionship with a kindred spirit I crave. I feel like hey God you gave me this calling to get married and have a family…ok I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’ll never have kids. I’m not sure at this point I could fit them in my life but even Adam was allowed some company. 🤷 🤷
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I can understand this completely. I’m in my mid to late 40’s and …um…err…alright, I’m 49 and a half… ok. I was married for18 years and have spent much of the last six years being a single Dad. I’ve been a little busy family wise up till now. And now that my youngest is in high school I’m starting to feel that why am I by myself. As you have pointed out in this thread its not pleasant seeing the other married couples with their families at church holding hands going on vacation seemingly very happy and being everything that you would like to be. Im pray every day that God will bring me companionship, friendship and most of all pray that he will help me develop as a human being.:gopray2:
 
Charlotte408 said:
IMHO- I would never do the speed dating…catholic or otherwise…idk. Theres just something ‘desperate’ to the whole dating service thing. Thats just how I feel, though. I’d be totally awkward and feel like meat on display.
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I used to hold that same opinion…but eventually two single female friends of mine who wanted to try it, convinced me to go with them a couple years back. I agreed and participated. I met some odd women and some nice women. But I enjoyed getting a chance to talk to completely new people. I didn’t meet anyone I would like to date… but I had a fun time overall. I am not sure if I would do it again, but don’t knock something unless you have tried it once.

If you are truly tired of being single, it can’t hurt to explore all avenues to meet someone.
 
Jay82 said:
I used to hold that same opinion…but eventually two single female friends of mine who wanted to try it, convinced me to go with them a couple years back. I agreed and participated. I met some odd women and some nice women. But I enjoyed getting a chance to talk to completely new people. I didn’t meet anyone I would like to date… but I had a fun time overall. I am not sure if I would do it again, but don’t knock something unless you have tried it once.

If you are truly tired of being single, it can’t hurt to explore all avenues to meet someone.
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‘truly tired’…‘desperate’…sounds like apples and apples to me 😉

Idk to me, any form of ‘seeking’ is a turn off to me. I know, I’m crazy…I guess, I’ve just never had a hard time meeting men so its never been an issue. Not to sound conceited or anything, but MEETING men isnt the issue, its meeting GOOD men. At least, for me…

I’ve come to the point I’ve left it up to the man above–and I’m perfectly prepared to die an old hag! LMBO!! no seriously!! I’ve wondered if nun convents would accept a lady with child! lol…

But really, I am holding out for Mr. Perfect for Charlotte~
 
Charlotte408 said:
‘truly tired’…‘desperate’…sounds like apples and apples to me 😉

Idk to me, any form of ‘seeking’ is a turn off to me. I know, I’m crazy…I guess, I’ve just never had a hard time meeting men so its never been an issue. Not to sound conceited or anything, but MEETING men isnt the issue, its meeting GOOD men. At least, for me…

I’ve come to the point I’ve left it up to the man above–and I’m perfectly prepared to die an old hag! LMBO!! no seriously!! I’ve wondered if nun convents would accept a lady with child! lol…

But really, I am holding out for Mr. Perfect for Charlotte~
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I have no trouble meeting men as well. Being big chested helps A LOT. 😉 I was scared that I would be a spinster, until my gay male best friend and I decided to get married if I was still single on my 30th birthday (I am 28 now). I have until September 2011 to find someone. 🙂 It’s a better option than the convent for sure ( believe me I know, I hated the being a postulant).
 
CountrySinger said:
I have no trouble meeting men as well. Being big chested helps A LOT. 😉 I was scared that I would be a spinster, until my gay male best friend and I decided to get married if I was still single on my 30th birthday (I am 28 now). I have until September 2011 to find someone. 🙂 It’s a better option than the convent for sure ( believe me I know, I hated the being a postulant).
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Hey!! I’m 28 too girl!! ^5 for all the under 30 ladies!!

You know I tripped out the other day, because, I feel like my ‘clock is ticking’ like crazy. I want a son. I want a son so bad…

and I’m thinking…I’m gonna be 30…(Lawd isnt that when the ‘mid life crisis’ comes about?) and its gonna get harder to have children…and then theres risks…etc etc…

But then I’m like, DUDE- 30’s the new 20!!! And its around 40 thats the cut off date isnt it?? Spinster at 28? NAW! not us! I’ve been trying to re-invoke (if thats the right word) my youthfulness…theres no reason for me to be feelin’ old, 'cept for my loneliness trying to make it harder on me…

So whenever I get feelin’ down and out- I’ll send my daughter off for the day on some playdate or something, open up the house, bump some R&B on the radio…and take like, 3 hours getting ready (like how I used to back in high school)…full face of make up…flat iron the hair…

LOL I might just go to the store and buy a new shirt but at least I feel and LOOK stunning! 🙂 That always puts my mind right…I mean, on a day to day basis, I’m not wearing any make up, and I’m really naturally pretty- but every so often its nice to go out and make em’ stop dead in their tracks (yeaaaaah I still got it!) 😉
 
I’m trying to lose weight so I can attract a good man. 🙂 Shallow reason I know. Health has nothing to do with it. I know I don’t want kids too much after 30, I think there is too much of a generational gap (my mom had me at 36, and she was way too out of touch). So I’ve realized that unless this current crush works out, I probably will be marrying a gay man.
 
CountrySinger said:
I’m trying to lose weight so I can attract a good man. 🙂 Shallow reason I know. Health has nothing to do with it. I know I don’t want kids too much after 30, I think there is too much of a generational gap (my mom had me at 36, and she was way too out of touch). So I’ve realized that unless this current crush works out, I probably will be marrying a gay man.
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Well, if its any consolation, I came from the other end of the spectrum…my Mom had me at 14! HAD me at 14, she was preg at 13…and she wasnt out of touch, she was TOO in touch…and I HATED it…I wanted a ‘Mom’…she was a ‘Friend’…it was SO embarrassing…

I think thats a LARGE part of why I was the way I was…eventually I went to go live with my Grandma…

Do you have any kids now? Oh you gotta have babies if you can…they are so worth it…I love babies…girl I’d have 6 kids if I had a man to have em’ with me…I want a house, a big house…with lots of babies…lots of love and laughter and running around and NOISE! 🙂

Makes my heart warm just thinking about it…
 
Charlotte408 said:
Well, if its any consolation, I came from the other end of the spectrum…my Mom had me at 14! HAD me at 1d hate4, she was preg at 13…and she wasnt out of touch, she was TOO in touch…and I HATED it…I wanted a ‘Mom’…she was a ‘Friend’…it was SO embarrassing…

I think thats a LARGE part of why I was the way I was…eventually I went to go live with my Grandma…

Do you have any kids now? Oh you gotta have babies if you can…they are so worth it…I love babies…girl I’d have 6 kids if I had a man to have em’ with me…I want a house, a big house…with lots of babies…lots of love and laughter and running around and NOISE! 🙂

Makes my heart warm just thinking about it…
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Gosh no, I don’t have kids. I can hardly take care of two cats by myself. I’m planning on becoming a special ed teacher, and I have tons of experience with children.
As for kids, I would want to live in a big city and raise a family. I hate the suburbs and the country for living. All the excitement, and everything at your fingertips. I want a nice condo with a view, with a couple of kids (rents are too expensive for a large family) and a loving husband.
 
CountrySinger said:
Gosh no, I don’t have kids. I can hardly take care of two cats by myself. I’m planning on becoming a special ed teacher, and I have tons of experience with children.
As for kids, I would want to live in a big city and raise a family. I hate the suburbs and the country for living. All the excitement, and everything at your fingertips. I want a nice condo with a view, with a couple of kids (rents are too expensive for a large family) and a loving husband.
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I go back and forth on the kid thing. When I was younger I wanted a house full but as I got older the number of kids I wished for dwindled. Don’t get me wrong I’m very maternal and love kids it’s just that they are a lot of work and become your whole life. That’s kind of big prospect to think about. 🤷 I live a busy life and do lots of outdoors stuff I would miss that if I had kids. :rolleyes:
 
CountrySinger said:
I think a Catholic speed dating could be fun! It never hurts to go out and do stuff. You might meet some cool Catholics.
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Tried that a few times years ago. Some crazy Dude with a gun decided he’s want to be more then friends. Nope the way my luck runs I’m safer staying away from that sort of thing.

🤷:eek::rolleyes:
 
Sierrah said:
Tried that a few times years ago. Some crazy Dude with a gun decided he’s want to be more then friends. Nope the way my luck runs I’m safer staying away from that sort of thing.

🤷:eek::rolleyes:
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That’s when you get a bigger gun! 😃 And then kick him. And run like the wind. 🙂
 
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