To all evil spirits: I will not give you power anymore

[Still_Hoping]

I am so sorry for what you are going through. It is true that demons are real and tempt us. However temptation does not just have one source. It did for Jesus Christ, in the flesh Jesus was tempted by satan we know this. However we are tempted by satan, others and especially our own flesh and desires.

I am reading your thread as if you believe your daughter is being tempted by the demonic, not that she is possessed. While the devil can and often does tempt us, we need to battle him with prayer while at the same time cleansing ourselves of sin and staying close to Jesus.

---

“There is indeed this difference. The temptations of our Divine Saviour were altogether from without, and none of them from within; our temptations are indeed in great part from without; but a very large part of them, and the worst part of them, are from within. They come up out of our own hearts, they are in our own thoughts, in our own passions, in our own tempers, in our faculties, in our memory — here are the lairs and the haunts of temptation. These are the most dangerous, and the example of our Divine Lord does not reach to what we suffer. Now, nothing is more certain than this, that all the sorrows which come upon a man in life — sickness, pain, bereavements, afflictions, all the crosses he may meet with, losses, disappointments, bankruptcy — all these things are nothing, compared with the bitterness, the keenness, of temptation.”

                         Cardinal Henry Edward Manning 1808-1892 ***

If you believe that evil is a big part of your home, I urge you to keep praying, and pray especially with your child. If your child is experiencing this she needs to develop the habit of turning to God for help. If you are not ready to take her to Mass yet, perhaps stop by church and light a candle or say a few prayers. Get some Holy Water from church and sprinkle it around your home. The external things will help but both you and your daughter need to change internally for any deep change to take place.

When we had the argument, I took my holy water and wet the doorposts of each of our bedrooms. I do have saint pictures, fridge magnets and a little statue. My daughter does believe in God and will go to church but she has to be told.

 

[pocaracas]

Hi and thank you for your post. We are mostly arguing about school and her future plans. She doesn’t work, at least she handing out resumes, and she doesn’t go to school. She does plan to apply to another college next fall. The thing is what does she do in the meantime.

Ah… well, then… doesn’t look like an evil spirit…
She doesn’t go to school and wants to apply for a different college next fall, so maybe there was some trouble at her previous college - have you tried to find out what it was? Is she not wanting to talk about it? We, over the internet, need not know about that… but you should, methinks.

Next fall… is just around the corner, what sort of work is she supposed to look for that will last one or two months? Temp work… are those resumes being sent out to temp work agencies or for temp work ads?
Maybe you could sit down with her and advise her on which sort of jobs she could apply for, but try not feel dishearten as she refuses most of your suggestions - try to understand what is making her refuse those and hone in on the perfect job… considering the economy we live in, it’s possible that no perfect job is out there and it is also possible that no adequate job is out there just until next fall.

Conflict management is difficult and personality clashes tend to result in a lot of frustration on both sides… until one side decides to altruistically take all the blame so that peaceful conversation can ensue. Typically, parents know that teens are hot heads and so will be the ones who accept their teen kids’ crazy venting and just shrug their shoulders… however, some parents are also hot heads and that can result in some undesired shouting matches… sounds familiar?

 

[Still_Hoping]

Ah… well, then… doesn’t look like an evil spirit…
She doesn’t go to school and wants to apply for a different college next fall, so maybe there was some trouble at her previous college - have you tried to find out what it was? Is she not wanting to talk about it? We, over the internet, need not know about that… but you should, methinks.

Next fall… is just around the corner, what sort of work is she supposed to look for that will last one or two months? Temp work… are those resumes being sent out to temp work agencies or for temp work ads?
Maybe you could sit down with her and advise her on which sort of jobs she could apply for, but try not feel dishearten as she refuses most of your suggestions - try to understand what is making her refuse those and hone in on the perfect job… considering the economy we live in, it’s possible that no perfect job is out there and it is also possible that no adequate job is out there just until next fall.

Conflict management is difficult and personality clashes tend to result in a lot of frustration on both sides… until one side decides to altruistically take all the blame so that peaceful conversation can ensue. Typically, parents know that teens are hot heads and so will be the ones who accept their teen kids’ crazy venting and just shrug their shoulders… however, some parents are also hot heads and that can result in some undesired shouting matches… sounds familiar?

I have another thread that gives all the details. Long story short, we had plans but ultimately it comes down to her decision. Easterjoy provided good plans to compromise. I will use her approach. But in the meantime, my child is frustrated, angry and edgy which makes my life miserable. Just this morning she had it out with her dad who is even more hot headed than she. I had to go out. This is making me so upset I get sick. I went to a church nearby and it was closed. I prayed for peace and for God to keep his promise for me. After all He did say that whatever you ask in my name it shall me given you. I have been asking and waiting. I have seen improvement but I don’t know why it is taking so long. I guess it is the teen phase. But if you see the anger displayed it isn’t normal. Before things would go flying across the room, doors would be broken and holes in the wall. I don’t know how much more I can take. I rest in God’s assurance of His promise to us.

God Bless.

 

[Anglewannabe]

She loves me but she hates me something fierce.

I genuinely pray for your daughter’s sake that you understand what I am about to say. The fact that your daughter hates you ‘something fierce’ (to use your words) is proof of how strong she it. She is a young adult wanting to make her way in this world. Every time she tries to take one step forward, her parents slap her in the face and make her go back two steps. STOP before her hate becomes an all out rage !

She needs to learn BY EXPERIENCE that if you don’t go to school for 1 semester. you graduate 4 months later than everyone else. And then when she is an older adult, not only will she have the wisdom of learning by experience, she will have the self-esteem to know she can make decisions. And also, she will realize that as an older adult, how silly she was to worry about a pedily 4 months

Angie

 

[Still_Hoping]

I genuinely pray for your daughter’s sake that you understand what I am about to say. The fact that your daughter hates you ‘something fierce’ (to use your words) is proof of how strong she it. She is a young adult wanting to make her way in this world. Every time she tries to take one step forward, her parents slap her in the face and make her go back two steps. STOP before her hate becomes an all out rage !
She needs to learn BY EXPERIENCE that if you don’t go to school for 1 semester. you graduate 4 months later than everyone else. And then when she is an older adult, not only will she have the wisdom of learning by experience, she will have the self-esteem to know she can make decisions. And also, she will realize that as an older adult, how silly she was to worry about a pedily 4 months

Angie

Hi Angie, thank you posting but I am not sure that this is entirely the truth. I always tried to hear my daughter out but her rage was something she developed early on because of what she witnessed in her parents relationship long ago. It surfaced when she was in high school which is normal at that phase but she is also having difficulties learning.

Whether we (her parents) held her back or not she is old enough not to answer back swearing or demeaning me. Can I blame her? Yes and No. I won’t get into that. Suffice it to say that yes if she starts later to go to college she will only finish later. No big deal. I just want her to be responsible and organize her time because she will find it very hard being on her own. I can’t tell you the number of times I had to stay up late helping her with projects and correcting them. This is my dilemma. I need to feel like she can handle it on her own. She has one year to grow up and learn to not depend on me so much. Then I will feel more confident in her decision to leave and to start later. I think it wise that she left her present college because it was causing her much anxiety. Maybe this time off will help her to do her prerequisite course on her own time and do it alone. She will learn.

God bless

 

[pocaracas]

I have another thread that gives all the details. Long story short, we had plans but ultimately it comes down to her decision. Easterjoy provided good plans to compromise.

I think I found the thread you mean… and I agree that Easterjoy’s advice seems sound.

I will use her approach. But in the meantime, my child is frustrated, angry and edgy which makes my life miserable. Just this morning she had it out with her dad who is even more hot headed than she.

Ah… how had I guessed that there was more than one hot headed person involved?

I had to go out. This is making me so upset I get sick. I went to a church nearby and it was closed.

Meditation may help… for the whole family!

That plan that was laid out for her about a year ago, seems to have been less than adequate for her - she has proposed an alternative plan which is supposedly adequate for her and doesn’t require a significant extra monetary burden…
Like Easterjoy, I say let her try it - if it turns out alright for her, then things become better and she gets to have her life and jobs and everything.
If it doesn’t work out, she’ll return home, like the proverbial prodigal son

There are always many other options, many possible outcomes for each choice made in life… many dependencies that cannot be fully accounted for in advance…
But odds are that she’ll be happiest by learning about some trait that she already enjoys and following a career which depends on such trait is one way for her to do a good job when she gets paid for it, thus letting her keep on being paid for it.

In the meantime, I like Easterjoy’s plan of getting her to help with the housework, if she can’t find some temp work until that other course or whatever (I honestly don’t understand that canadian system).

 

[Anglewannabe]

I can’t tell you the number of times I had to stay up late helping her with projects and correcting them.

That 100% proves my point. Your poor daughter isn’t even allowed to hand in HER homework. The grades on HER report card are actually MOM’S grades.

Let you daughter get** HER ** grades. A failing grade that a child creates does the child MUCH more good than an A+ mom earned.

My heart bleeds for your poor daughter. Not even given enough trust to do her own homework.

 

[808Catholic]

God bless you too. I think what I am really asking is where to draw the line between accepting other’s abusive behavior and just their flawed human nature?

Again, dear one, I call to mind Christ asking that question “How much do I have to give so that these sinners can receive salvation?” It’s up to every one of us to determine how much we want to “give” so we can follow Christ. Some will refuse to budge an inch (not you, I’m sure because you’ve walked many miles with your daughter already! ) and others will give their all including their lives. God knows that’s in our hearts; He knows if we’re giving a few copper coins that represents everything we have left or if we’re giving gold coins but have an over-abundance left for ourselves.

God Bless you.

 

[Still_Hoping]

Again, dear one, I call to mind Christ asking that question “How much do I have to give so that these sinners can receive salvation?” It’s up to every one of us to determine how much we want to “give” so we can follow Christ. Some will refuse to budge an inch (not you, I’m sure because you’ve walked many miles with your daughter already! ) and others will give their all including their lives. God knows that’s in our hearts; He knows if we’re giving a few copper coins that represents everything we have left or if we’re giving gold coins but have an over-abundance left for ourselves.

God Bless you.

Dear sister, I never looked at it that way. I found it natural to give my life for my child’s salvation. But I realized that I don’t want to be mistreated. I think I get it now. It is not about how we feel at what the other person is doing to us but how much we love them that that love because our armor. I don’t need to feel offended but to look at her with love. Fight fire with the love that is like a flowing river that puts it out.

I think I am to wound up about “my feelings” or how her attitude affects me when I should concentrate on helping her through God’s mercy. In making her a better person rather than trying to preserve my dignity. Or to look at her with pity and pray for her salvation rather than get all riled up and indignant. Am I getting it?

 

[Still_Hoping]

I think I found the thread you mean… and I agree that Easterjoy’s advice seems sound.

Ah… how had I guessed that there was more than one hot headed person involved?

Meditation may help… for the whole family!

That plan that was laid out for her about a year ago, seems to have been less than adequate for her - she has proposed an alternative plan which is supposedly adequate for her and doesn’t require a significant extra monetary burden…
Like Easterjoy, I say let her try it - if it turns out alright for her, then things become better and she gets to have her life and jobs and everything.
If it doesn’t work out, she’ll return home, like the proverbial prodigal son

There are always many other options, many possible outcomes for each choice made in life… many dependencies that cannot be fully accounted for in advance…
But odds are that she’ll be happiest by learning about some trait that she already enjoys and following a career which depends on such trait is one way for her to do a good job when she gets paid for it, thus letting her keep on being paid for it.

In the meantime, I like Easterjoy’s plan of getting her to help with the housework, if she can’t find some temp work until that other course or whatever (I honestly don’t understand that canadian system).

Hi Pocaracas,

I still haven’t figured out how you do that quote thing…anyhow just to let you know the education in Canada is like that in the US. It is only in Quebec (french province) that it is different. Better? I am not convinced but it is the cheapest education in the whole of North America. Nonetheless, I concur that she will be happiest if she follows her own heart. She seems to be set on this program offered outside of our province. Why we don’t have it here is a mystery to me. That being said, she is to assume all responsibility for her choices. I don’t want to hear her say that I should of done this or that. she has a habit of doing this to me.

As for housework, well she does what I ask (not much) but gets really annoyed if I ask for a little more. Remember that children with ADHD have to have a schedule that they approve and are comfortable with. You have to tell them details and not do things on the spur of the moment. It has to be organized almost like a chart.

As for a part-time job, well she has to try harder. She only sent out a few resumes. I will work on that with her. I may have connections that can get her work. We will see.

God bless

 

[pocaracas]

Hi Pocaracas,

I still haven’t figured out how you do that quote thing…

At first, I was like “Which quote thing?” Then I went back to the post and realized that you probably mean this quote splitting that I do, right?

Let me see if I can shed some light on that!

When you hit the “quote” button on any given post, you then get a text box with the text from the post you wanted to quote already filled out, right?
I looks something like this (I’m going to add some spaces so the forum engine doesn’t convert this and you can see it):

QUOTE=Still Hoping;13237251 ]
Full quoted text
/quote ]

As you can see, there’s a tag that tells the forum where to start a quote and a tag that tells the forum where to end that quote.
The starting quote tag can have a few extra options, as in this example, you get the username and a number which is the internal post ID so the forum can generate that little link to that particular post, in this case it will be something like “http://forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?p=13237251#post13237251”.

What is between these quote tags is any text you want and the forum will render it as it is in your text box, but netiquette requires that you accurately quote other people… plus, it’s nice.

What I do is use these tags to split up different parts I want to address individually:
QUOTE=Still Hoping;13237251 ]
first bit I want to address
/quote ]

“My reply to your first bit”

QUOTE=Still Hoping;13237251 ]
Second bit
/quote ]

“reply to second bit”

… and so on and so forth.

This requires that I copy/paste the start quote into each, because… who can remember than number and everyone else’s names?! CTRL+C/CTRL+V
And then type the end quote tag, which isn’t that big of a deal.

Some people, just let the username part remain in the first bit that gets quoted, but then turn lazy and, instead of copying it, just type

quote ]
second bit
/quote ]

This is usually ok to do, since the context tells you that it pertains to the same person you quoted just above in the same post.

Some people will copy/paste the text from some post and just put this unnamed quote tag… I don’t like it when that happens…

anyhow just to let you know the education in Canada is like that in the US. It is only in Quebec (french province) that it is different. Better? I am not convinced but it is the cheapest education in the whole of North America. Nonetheless, I concur that she will be happiest if she follows her own heart. She seems to be set on this program offered outside of our province. Why we don’t have it here is a mystery to me. That being said, she is to assume all responsibility for her choices. I don’t want to hear her say that I should of done this or that. she has a habit of doing this to me.

Ah… sounds like what I do to my wife… everything is her fault!
Of course, she knows I’m joking most of the time I say it.

In this case, at best, she could “accuse” you of failing to convince her that this new path she’s choosing was a bad one… After all the arguments you tell us about, I don’t think she can have any standing in such accusation, but… kids will be kids, Like Bill Cosby said: kids are brain damaged!.. oh, this might not be an adequate joke for this case… sorry sorry sorry!

As for housework, well she does what I ask (not much) but gets really annoyed if I ask for a little more. Remember that children with ADHD have to have a schedule that they approve and are comfortable with. You have to tell them details and not do things on the spur of the moment. It has to be organized almost like a chart.

Interesting… I didn’t know that ADHD required such tight scheduling… Does that also apply to long term plans? Long term plans are fraught with potential pitfalls and it seems she’s fallen into one of that original plan. The fact that she’s coming up with a secondary and feasible plan seems like a responsible attitude, to me…

As for a part-time job, well she has to try harder. She only sent out a few resumes. I will work on that with her. I may have connections that can get her work. We will see.

The C-factor sometimes pays off!
Good luck!

 

[808Catholic]

Dear sister, I never looked at it that way. I found it natural to give my life for my child’s salvation. But I realized that I don’t want to be mistreated. I think I get it now. It is not about how we feel at what the other person is doing to us but how much we love them that that love because our armor. I don’t need to feel offended but to look at her with love. Fight fire with the love that is like a flowing river that puts it out.

I think I am to wound up about “my feelings” or how her attitude affects me when I should concentrate on helping her through God’s mercy. In making her a better person rather than trying to preserve my dignity. Or to look at her with pity and pray for her salvation rather than get all riled up and indignant. Am I getting it?

You absolutely get it, @Still Hoping!!! Praise God! This is the message of Christ on the cross; one He tried to teach and show us His entire life on earth. I am so happy His message has reached you!

BTW, I’m a guy but that doesn’t make a difference to God nor should it make a difference to His people. God Bless you, dear one!

 

[Still_Hoping]

You absolutely get it, @Still Hoping!!! Praise God! This is the message of Christ on the cross; one He tried to teach and show us His entire life on earth. I am so happy His message has reached you!

BTW, I’m a guy but that doesn’t make a difference to God nor should it make a difference to His people. God Bless you, dear one!

Dear Brother,

Forgive for assuming you were a sister. I don’t know what gave me that impression. I am definitely aware of the Lord’s sacrifice and what it means and how it applies to me. I am aware that my feelings count but that a greater thing is at hand and that is to love one another even to the point of forfeiting one’s feelings. Feelings come and go but love should be constant and be able to weather the toughest storms. Only the Love of God can withstand this badgering and so I lay myself at the foot of the cross and remind myself how merciful God has been to me in times when I was repentant and other times when I most certainly didn’t deserve it.

God bless you for reminding me.

 

[808Catholic]

Dear Brother,

Forgive for assuming you were a sister. I don’t know what gave me that impression. I am definitely aware of the Lord’s sacrifice and what it means and how it applies to me. I am aware that my feelings count but that a greater thing is at hand and that is to love one another even to the point of forfeiting one’s feelings. Feelings come and go but love should be constant and be able to weather the toughest storms. Only the Love of God can withstand this badgering and so I lay myself at the foot of the cross and remind myself how merciful God has been to me in times when I was repentant and other times when I most certainly didn’t deserve it.

God bless you for reminding me.

No forgiveness is necessary as you have not offended anyone/me. We, the people of God, who love and follow Christ Jesus have been called by Him to spread His holy word. We do this with love like our Lord did. God Bless you again for loving your friend.

 

[Still_Hoping]

At first, I was like “Which quote thing?” Then I went back to the post and realized that you probably mean this quote splitting that I do, right?

Let me see if I can shed some light on that!

When you hit the “quote” button on any given post, you then get a text box with the text from the post you wanted to quote already filled out, right?
I looks something like this (I’m going to add some spaces so the forum engine doesn’t convert this and you can see it):

QUOTE=Still Hoping;13237251 ]
Full quoted text
/quote ]

As you can see, there’s a tag that tells the forum where to start a quote and a tag that tells the forum where to end that quote.
The starting quote tag can have a few extra options, as in this example, you get the username and a number which is the internal post ID so the forum can generate that little link to that particular post, in this case it will be something like “http://forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?p=13237251#post13237251”.

What is between these quote tags is any text you want and the forum will render it as it is in your text box, but netiquette requires that you accurately quote other people… plus, it’s nice.

What I do is use these tags to split up different parts I want to address individually:
QUOTE=Still Hoping;13237251 ]
first bit I want to address
/quote ]

“My reply to your first bit”

QUOTE=Still Hoping;13237251 ]
Second bit
/quote ]

“reply to second bit”

… and so on and so forth.

This requires that I copy/paste the start quote into each, because… who can remember than number and everyone else’s names?! CTRL+C/CTRL+V
And then type the end quote tag, which isn’t that big of a deal.

Some people, just let the username part remain in the first bit that gets quoted, but then turn lazy and, instead of copying it, just type

quote ]
second bit
/quote ]

This is usually ok to do, since the context tells you that it pertains to the same person you quoted just above in the same post.

Some people will copy/paste the text from some post and just put this unnamed quote tag… I don’t like it when that happens…

Ah… sounds like what I do to my wife… everything is her fault!
Of course, she knows I’m joking most of the time I say it.

In this case, at best, she could “accuse” you of failing to convince her that this new path she’s choosing was a bad one… After all the arguments you tell us about, I don’t think she can have any standing in such accusation, but… kids will be kids, Like Bill Cosby said: kids are brain damaged!.. oh, this might not be an adequate joke for this case… sorry sorry sorry!

Yes, I haven’t used my contacts yet because “she wanted to do it on her own”. However, she sees that it isn’t that easy.

God bless.

By George, I think I am getting the quote thing. I am doing it the lazy way though.

 

[pocaracas]

By George, I think I am getting the quote thing. I am doing it the lazy way though.

Almost there!
Sometimes, it’s easier to write the reply on a text editor, like notepad, and then copy it over…

 

[Still_Hoping]

Almost there!
Sometimes, it’s easier to write the reply on a text editor, like notepad, and then copy it over…

 

[on_the_hill]

The red bolded part is a bit concerning. I’m serious. Should a moderator try to connect with this person on a one-to-one level?

yeah, I tend to be alarmed by that as well.

Same here.

With all due respect, does it offend you? I could of placed it there but I am reaching out to others with children such as mine. I wonder how many out there who have children with invisible disabilities struggle as I do?

No, it doesn’t offend. It’s just a little scary. Just a little. The ol’ “I’m about to do some violence” meme has popped up on the Internet lately, with tragic consequences.

What invisible disability does your child have? Use an economy of words please. I don’t read long, involved posts.

 

[Still_Hoping]

Same here.

No, it doesn’t offend. It’s just a little scary. Just a little. The ol’ “I’m about to do some violence” meme has popped up on the Internet lately, with tragic consequences.

What invisible disability does your child have? Use an economy of words please. I don’t read long, involved posts.

I am sorry, I don’t understand this statement; I bolded that part. Please explain.

My child has ADHD, learning difficulties, anxiety, rage and insecurity.

The whole point of this post was to fend of rage and violence which I believe are demons in of themselves. I know it is hard for some to understand but I don’t see her as such. Now I see her as having these disabilities and I must look upon her with compassion. However, in the heat of one of her raging outbursts, I felt a sickening presence and I let it overwhelm me so this prayer was written in that moment and it was meant to fend of these evil emotions (negative or demonic as I see it sometimes). You can’t understand until you see your child do such a thing. It has been plaguing my family.

The only reasonable way I can make sense of it is that she was exposed to violence and though that violence is no more it has some influence on her behavior. She also had love from her parents and family. Some of her behavior is normal teen stuff and other times it crosses that. Do you kind of get it now?

 

[Vic_Taltrees_UK]

I caught up with the fact that I have ADD and other specific learning differences in my 40s. There is virtually no professional support for any of these things in any country as far as I am informed, whatever age you are. I was extra fortunate in having a workplace coach for a little while and friendly, willing supervision. I have read some books, listened at talks and did a 1-year distance course.

Structure is where it’s at but according to the powers that be structure is a 100% bad thing. Also not overcrowding one’s schedule but building simple grace and elegance into one’s ordinary everyday moves.

Then comes shame from previous generations and introducing structure becomes a shame-based thing. Exasperated teachers who can’t cope with a non-conformist pupil likewise.

Invest in some A3 paper and lots of pencils and jot down things, and title and date each sheet so you can compare it with a later version. Jot down or mind map on one of them all your daughter’s interests, hobbies and ambitions from early years, and then see whether any of them were really all that bad. Then any ailments - for example my constant intestinal ailments, neuralgia, absence seizures and constantly being told “not to be so silly” as well as weakness.

Would your daughter like to take a large part in this or is she too ashamed at present?

(After half a century of neuralgia and absences that I had to keep scrabbling my way back from every few seconds, it’s no wonder I was slightly ratty at unpredictable intervals. But before I started receiving a medicine for these, I had benefitted greatly from the insight and background information about my various kinds of SpLDs.)

(Note to moderators - please note I have not given health care advice.)

In my teens and early twenties my career wishes were a complete blank and some of my study choices weren’t the most appropriate with hindsight. In such cases just accept it and don’t panic about all the doors you fear might be shut. Just because God sometimes has phases of working for people through “the system” doesn’t mean He can’t take charge of your daughter’s life in unusual ways.

Don’t panic because one might feel it’s an outrage to leave a person so neglected for so long. Be calm - this is par for planet Earth. Your daughter is a great survivor and so are you and all the other family members who don’t even know they need to be survivors.

Do any family members say “No-one in my family does - or is - such & such” ? I was so blessed my parents were so intuitive they were mega accepting however much I alarmed them by the very strange capers and bungles I got into.