V
Vic_Taltrees_UK
Guest
Stillhoping, you wrote (post 70):… husband who did not participate in therapy, and perhaps you were counseled to get more therapy or even medical therapy. God is providing those avenues for you.
When my son had a much worse autism prognosis, I prayed to God for strength, I got angry at Him, then I realized and accepted this is the plan God has for me. However, I did not rely on God healing him because God put therapists in our life to help our journey. These were the angels that helped my son improve. In fact, they are still popping up in our life as my son matures. His needs change.
The beauty of God is that He often sends us those “two boats and a helicopter” to help us. We have to accept that help, even if we think it may be the wrong help. God ultimately knows best for you.
You are in a difficult spot. I will pray for you in adoration tonight. Be assured of that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vic Taltrees UK
Don’t panic because one might feel it’s an outrage to leave a person so neglected for so long. Be calm - this is par for planet Earth. Your daughter is a great survivor and so are you and all the other family members who don’t even know they need to be survivors. end of quote from me
Thank you for sharing your story and for your support. My daughter has dealt with this ADHD all her life and only now do we know. Regardless, she is a fighter but she fights a lot with me. I have been patient and other times offhanded. I will have to work on this.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vic Taltrees UK
Do any family members say “No-one in my family does - or is - such & such” ? I was so blessed my parents were so intuitive they were mega accepting however much I alarmed them by the very strange capers and bungles I got into. end of quote from me
Not really except my mom who said that I demonstrated some of these traits. I guess this is payback.
end of your post
(emphases added by me)
I don’t have the light touch like Pocaracas. Like he said, there’s good news and what might look at first glance like bad news.
I telescoped my life story very much. I attended “healing prayers” at a gospel camp (general, not individual) and the following week on reviewing my collection of newspaper cuttings I hit upon and follwed up the writings of an autistic lady about autism and at the same time there was a spate of colleagues getting diagnosed dyslexic and having reasonable adjustments made. I was in my 40s. I didn’t discuss this with my parents whose house I had long left. But I am reflecting with hindsight on their point of view now that I have more light on it.
I didn’t know any of my grandparents nor did I dicuss these themes with uncles or aunts and it’s too late to quiz anyone unless I get round in future to picking my distant cousin’s brain or a younger friend of my aunt.
Reading between the lines of the occasional anecdote, I picture my Dad’s dad’s mum saying to him, don’t be like your father, get yourself on - there is a tale that the old man was an underachiever. My grandad did get himself on and those were boom years anyway. Nearly all my family members on both sides seem to have been “mildly eccentric” but I think there were bigger elements of non-acceptance on my Mum’s side which she most effectively revolted against.
In my young day I had a professor who had discretion to bend the marking system and after that. extra accommodating bosses even before it became a matter of reasonable adjustments.
There can be two clusters of things that pass along families, one is bodily - specific learning differences that vary from person to person, one is dyslexic, another is an Asperger, one has ADD, one is dyspraxic - and various combinations and variations. Absence seizures, intestinal differences, etc can go along with any of these. The other is subtly learned unacceptance: shame given (and this also comes big time from teachers and doctors of course), no matter how accompanied by the apparent opposite.
Since somewhat like attracts somewhat like (with variations) similar factors may be reflected a little in your DH’s background also.
This is to “smother” the three of you in huge acceptance and the highest esteem, didn’t I say you are all great survivors!
(HUGE = HUG)
So there is a two-pronged way to go:
I. Don’t despise the specific concretes:
- which medicines exactly is it your DD wants to avoid - she knows her own body language better than anyone (you don’t have to discuss specific answers to this with us if you don’t want to because we aren’t giving health care advice. At most we can tell our own anecdotes)
- what at the concrete practical level was it that the counsellor did with her that your DD took to
- what possibilities can SpLD practitioners and/or workplace coaches offer in the near future
So no, this is NOT payback. Recognise the roots of that false thinking. These discoveries are the outstanding best news of your lives (the 3 of you) ever!
I am giving the three of you a