To be Weds and Newly Weds

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vluvski

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It seems there is some interest in wedding talk on various other forums when wedding-related questions come up on family life and moral theology.

Questions about Catholic ceremonies? Ideas for music and readings? Post it all here!

I’m getting married to my special guy (known here as FamilyGuy, but I don’t think he’s posted anything) on May 20, 2006. I’ll post pictures later:).
 
👋 Hi! I wish you many blessings on your upcoming marriage. My daughter is going to be married on May 13th, 2006! What stage are you in as far as planning? I’m sure you have the Church secured. What about music, flowers, reception, cake, theme at reception? Love to hear some of yours and I’ll be happy to share some of “ours!”
 
The wedding will be at St. Mark Catholic Church in Wilmington, NC.
We have a reception hall booked, readings picked out (still debating on the Gospel a little), ideas for ceremony music, invitations almost designed but not printed, a few ideas for the ceremony programs… things are coming along. All the maids have dresses or fabric to make one (color is Victorian lilac), we have a tux style picked out for groomsmen and dads (two button notch, silver vest) and groom (tails, white vest), but don’t know whether we’ll rent or buy. I have artificial flowers, and we’re going to watch for post-mothers’ day bouquets and corsages. I’m using my mom’s silk bouquet but replacing the center, which was real and she used to throw. I’m also using her veil. My dress is bought, waiting til closer to get alterations done. We have a wedding website, but not much progress yet on registries.
The reception won’t really have a theme. I’ll have to post some pictures of our centerpiece ideas. I’m hoping to get mannequins (sp?) to display my mom’s and grandmothers’ wedding gowns around the hall. Our DJ is booked, have some reception songs picked out like first dance and a few must-haves from our childhood, but want to go with the flow there.
Still debating whether or not to have alcohol. It looks like no.
The future in-laws have made some progress on the rehearsal dinner. Don’t know where they are with that.
We are planning to use USPS printed customized postcards as save-the-dates. It’s only like 8 cents apiece to have them printed, and the rest is postcard postage. I was going to mail 200 for under 60 bucks, but we still need many addresses. Let me know if you want the website.
 
Hi!

I just got married August 6, 2005, after meeting my DH on Ave Maria’s website. I just moved from Houston, TX to rural Wisconsin, where my husband is a dairy farmer!

Anyone wanting sources for inexpensive items for DIY wedding projects-- I have a ton. I felt it was a personal challenge to have nice, classy wedding favors, invitations, etc, at a price far below what the price-gouging wedding industry charges.
 
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1ke:
Hi!

I just got married August 6, 2005, after meeting my DH on Ave Maria’s website. I just moved from Houston, TX to rural Wisconsin, where my husband is a dairy farmer!

Anyone wanting sources for inexpensive items for DIY wedding projects-- I have a ton. I felt it was a personal challenge to have nice, classy wedding favors, invitations, etc, at a price far below what the price-gouging wedding industry charges.
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LOL- my hubby and I crossed paths first on Catholic Singles. I ended up moving and becoming a farmer’s wife also! It’s been 4 glorious years and now we are blessed with two children. I was sooo skeptical about finding someone in cyberland, but he was even MORE skeptical, so it worked out. 😃
 
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MomTo2:
LOL- my hubby and I crossed paths first on Catholic Singles. I ended up moving and becoming a farmer’s wife also! It’s been 4 glorious years and now we are blessed with two children. I was sooo skeptical about finding someone in cyberland, but he was even MORE skeptical, so it worked out. 😃
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Cool! I’m loving the farm so far, although I actually kept my job and am working from home so I’m inside all day.

I grew up in the country, with horses not cows, so I wasn’t always a “city girl”.
 
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vluvski:
The wedding will be at St. Mark Catholic Church in Wilmington, NC.
We have a reception hall booked, readings picked out (still debating on the Gospel a little), ideas for ceremony music, invitations almost designed but not printed, a few ideas for the ceremony programs… things are coming along. All the maids have dresses or fabric to make one (color is Victorian lilac), we have a tux style picked out for groomsmen and dads (two button notch, silver vest) and groom (tails, white vest), but don’t know whether we’ll rent or buy. I have artificial flowers, and we’re going to watch for post-mothers’ day bouquets and corsages. I’m using my mom’s silk bouquet but replacing the center, which was real and she used to throw. I’m also using her veil. My dress is bought, waiting til closer to get alterations done. We have a wedding website, but not much progress yet on registries.
The reception won’t really have a theme. I’ll have to post some pictures of our centerpiece ideas. I’m hoping to get mannequins (sp?) to display my mom’s and grandmothers’ wedding gowns around the hall. Our DJ is booked, have some reception songs picked out like first dance and a few must-haves from our childhood, but want to go with the flow there.
Still debating whether or not to have alcohol. It looks like no.
The future in-laws have made some progress on the rehearsal dinner. Don’t know where they are with that.
We are planning to use USPS printed customized postcards as save-the-dates. It’s only like 8 cents apiece to have them printed, and the rest is postcard postage. I was going to mail 200 for under 60 bucks, but we still need many addresses. Let me know if you want the website.
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Sounds like you’re on top of things! Our Church has been booked for a while (it’s in Jacksonville, Fl. where we live ) but Daughter is still waiting to hear from our Priest about when to sign up for the Marriage Prep classes. Have you signed up for yours yet? Here in Florida there are 2. One is a weekend retreat & the other is a daylong class. I think they are called Marriage Encounter and Engaged Encounter. Daughter has an appointment with the Music Director in Nov.(he’s a busy man!) to talk about the music for the Wedding Mass. Still haven’t decided on the readings yet, but working on that. THE DRESS(!) has been ordered and has already arrived, it was supposed to take 6 months, but only took 3. The Bridesmaids dresses already came in. The color is like a Mint Green and they are tea length. The reception hall was booked right after we booked the Church. It’s at the beach in a State Park. We had a time trying to find something ON the beach that wasn’t real expensive, but nice. We happened upon this place called Dolphin Plaza and it’s perfect. Have the Caterer, we’re doing LOT’S of heavy hors d’oeuvres and there will be alcohol and in keeping with my family’s Italian tradition there will be a Cookie Table along with Wedding Cake. We’ve already booked the Photographer and Videographer.The D.J. is my Nephew & his wife who do this as a second job for both of them and they are quite good at it. We haven’t picked out the flowers yet but she knows what she wants. Haven’t done any cake tasting, but I’m REALLY looking forward to that! She’s picked out the invitations but we haven’t ordered them yet.
I was on a website that had something nice as a Wedding Favor. It was a Prayer Card for family & friends. I thought it was a nice idea. I’ll get the web address and send it to you. Yes, I would like the address for those save the date postcards! Thanks. I know there is more to do but thankfully, my Daughter is VERY organized and on top of things. I haven’t looked for my dress yet, but I will in a couple of months. Starting the plans well in anvance really does make this less stressful and you can enjoy this wonderful time in you life.:yup:
Here’s the site: www.stpatricksguild.com/browse.cfm/4,3582.html
 
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1ke:
I grew up in the country, with horses not cows, so I wasn’t always a “city girl”.
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😛 Hey- that’s not fair!

I was brand spankin’ new to farm life, so it made for an interesting first couple of years! I had to start out with very basic lessons- like the difference between a tractor and a combine, what a corn field look like vs. beans (hey, I always thought they grew on big Jack-and-the-beanstalk stalks!), etc. I don’t even want to tell you what I thought the first time he described “pulling a calf” to me! Our kids sure like the cows outside and I do too! 🙂 especially the baby ones!
 
MomTo2 said:
😛 Hey- that’s not fair!

I was brand spankin’ new to farm life, so it made for an interesting first couple of years! I had to start out with very basic lessons- like the difference between a tractor and a combine, what a corn field look like vs. beans (hey, I always thought they grew on big Jack-and-the-beanstalk stalks!), etc. I don’t even want to tell you what I thought the first time he described “pulling a calf” to me! Our kids sure like the cows outside and I do too! 🙂 especially the baby ones!
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My first big challenge will be completely renovating this farm house. It was built in 1916. His parents bought it in 1956. They built his folks a house to retire in in 1991, and he’s been in this house as a bachelor ever since he took over the farm. His parents did updating in the 60’s and nothing since, I don’t think… it needs a lot of work, like new roof, updated wiring/plumbing… it’s just time. So, that will be a HUGE project!!!

It’s really beautiful here… rolling hills, green, very picturesque. But, remote. That will take a while to get used to again.
 
Here is the link to the USPS postcards. My fiance sent me one (he found out about this because he is interning with the USPS IT center) and it looks pretty good. You get one free to try last time I checked into it… and even if it’s not free, it is still pretty cheap to do a test run to 10 people (they have a minimum charge, might as well do it to several who won’t care as much if you aren’t pleased with the quality).

usps.com/netpost/stayintouch.htm

They will do greeting cards, postcards, premium postcards, and a few specialty items.
 
Is it normal to do a collection at a nuptial Mass?

What about the gloria?
 
Hi, im getting married in August 2006, me and my fiancee are going to see the priest on Thursday and i was just wandering if any of you know the sorts of things he is going to ask or say.

Thanks
 
Gypsy,
Our priest already knew us, so he didn’t ask a lot of questions.

Are you familiar with the FOCCUS test? You’ll likely have to take that at some point. It asks lots of questions about things your family does the same or differently (finances, disciplining children, etc), and things you may or may not have talked about. The main purpose is to highlight areas you and FI need to discuss prior to getting married.

I also noticed your birthday, that you are quite young. Unless the priest knows you to be mature, I wouldn’t be surprised if he asks a few questions to ascertain your level of maturity. This would be to prevent you getting married, discovering you just weren’t ready, and requesting an annullment on those grounds. Please don’t take offense; just be prepared for this type of question. The Catholic church wants marriages to be successful, hence the preparation requirements.
 
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vluvski:
Is it normal to do a collection at a nuptial Mass?

What about the gloria?
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I am pretty sure that there is no collection at a Nuptial Mass, as for the Gloria, I don’t know. It’s been a while since I have been to one. When my Daughter meets with our Priest, she will find out what is exactly included in the Nuptial Mass.
 
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gypsy.19:
Hi, im getting married in August 2006, me and my fiancee are going to see the priest on Thursday and i was just wandering if any of you know the sorts of things he is going to ask or say.

Thanks
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Typically you meet with the priest to discuss your preparedness for marriage and then you move on to discuss the details of your ceremony, complete paperwork, etc. You will also discuss your options for marriage prep. Each diocese has different requirements-- such as attending Engaged Encounter, having a Sponsor Couple, attending NFP classes, etc. You may also take an instrument like FOCCUS or Myers-Briggs which is used as a basis of discussion regarding communication styles, and areas where you differ.

Typically there is some sort of group meeting at your church, maybe with a wedding coordinator or family life ministry and they discuss the options for marriage prep, plus the things that are allowed in the church (photos, flowers, etc).
 
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1ke:
Neither are part of the Marriage Rite.
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I didn’t think so. I was hoping for the gloria though… 😉 I can’t get the secretary to write me back :rolleyes:
 
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vluvski:
I didn’t think so. I was hoping for the gloria though… 😉 I can’t get the secretary to write me back :rolleyes:
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Get the book Together For Life by Fr. Joseph Champlin (there are 2 versions, get the one for marriage with a Mass… he also produces one for mixed marriages where there is no mass). It’s a small booklet that goes over all the options for the mass. You get to pick the prayers, vows, readings, etc., so this book is a great way to go through all the options and decide.

The order of the mass is:

Entrance Rite
Procession
Sign of the Cross
Greeting
Opening Prayer

Liturgy of the Word
OT reading
Psalm (sung or read)
NT reading
Gospel Acclamation
Gospel
Homily

Rite of Marriage
Introductory Address
Statement of Intentions
Consent and Exchange of Vows
Blessing and Exchange of Rings
Prayer of the Couple (optional but we did this & wrote our own)
Prayers of the Faithful (we wrote our own)

Liturgy of the Eucharist
Preparation/Presentation of the Gifts (we had a hymn here)
Prayer over the Gifts
Eucharistic Prayer
Preface
Sanctus
Memorial Acclamation
Doxology and Great Amen
Lord’s Prayer
Nuptial Blessing
Sign of Peace
Breaking of the Bread
Agnus Dei
Communion (we had a hymn here)
Prayer after Communion

Optional devotion, if you choose one it goes right after the prayer after communion: Presentation of Flowers to the Virgin (we did this and had a solo here). You can choose to do a devotion such as a cultural devotion like the Lasso or Arras in the Hispanic culture, the Presentation to the Virgin, or the “unity candle” (but that’s not really Catholic or encouraged… just tolerated) or not have a devotion at all.

Concluding Rite
Final Blessing
Recessional
 
I too will be getting married very soon Oct.15, 2005 to be exact. The hard thing was planning and preparing for a wedding long distance. My fiance’ is back home in Florida ( where the wedding is taking place) I just wish I would of known about the book Together for Life, that would of made everything so much easier. The priest that is marrying us hasn’t really been any help. Luckily for me Father at my parish here has been very helpful and supportive. We have met almost every Sunday for the past 2 months and he has given me books and such to help out with the sacrament of marriage as well as planning the wedding. If only we could get married in the parish here. I feel so welcome and comfortable there.

I do have a question though. We have already picked the readings except for the responsorial. Anyone know where I could find some ideas or how to go about choosing one?
 
Hi Everyone!!! Congratulations to all of you getting married soon!!!

I’ve been married for a little over a year now and love married life!

I just thought I would tell you to please make sure you learn everything you can about marriage while preparing, don’t leave it up to the “required” classes, etc.

I know I was terribly disappointed by what we learned (or didn’t learn) in our required classes. My fiance (now husband) and I lived 802 miles apart so he would come up and we would meet up with a Dominican brother that was very smart, faithful, and knowledgeable, that was great, but even so, there was no way he could of taught us all we needed to know in those meetings. Instead we would learn on our own and ask him questions and clarify things with him.
Then we went to pre-cana classes one week-end and they were truly awful (These may have been just the exception, don’t take it as if all are bad, just that you have to be responsible to make sure you get well informed, I hope your classes are a lot better, it just depends on the people givng them). We wrote letters and let them know what we thought in our feedback. They would have truly messed us up if we hadn’t been reading books from JPII and other **trustworthy ** authors and Church encyclicals/documents on family and marriage. We also read and made sure we understood what th Catechism has to say and what Canon Law says.

I hope the classes you go to are truly a source of knowledge, but nevertheless, please make sure you read about the sacrament and learn about it well. It has made a huge difference in our lives, and a huge impact in our marriage. It has helped us sort our priorities. Just knowing the Truth allows you to work towards it, rather than wander aimlessly.
 
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