TO CONFESS or not to confess.....help

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FMLJoliecouer

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I am fairly new to the Catholic faith and my conscience is telling me I committed a sin, but something is stopping me from going.

I recently had some old wounds re-opened around my incest as a child and I went back to some really old behaviours …cutting myself with a knife.

Please dont ask me why I do it…I just dont know what to do…I dont want my priest to know I did it as He wont get it. I am ashamed of it and so on…

I guess what Im asking is do I really need to go to confession…I have forgiven myself and feel God has forgiven me…and I didnt pre-meditate doing it or do it to try to offend God

Please help
 
It can be good perhaps to bring it to confession in any case. Your priest has heard all sorts of things. He can help you in some way perhaps too in dealing with it. The seal of confession keeps it all in confession. But he may have some good advice etc for you…

Also bring to some professional help of the counseling sort.
(I saw this site in the past and saved it for those in need catholictherapists.com/find-a-therapist.html)

and some family and or friends.

You need help here…please do not delay.
 
FMLJoliecouer said:
I am fairly new to the Catholic faith and my conscience is telling me I committed a sin, but something is stopping me from going.

I recently had some old wounds re-opened around my incest as a child and I went back to some really old behaviours …cutting myself with a knife.

Please dont ask me why I do it…I just dont know what to do…I dont want my priest to know I did it as He wont get it. I am ashamed of it and so on…

I guess what Im asking is do I really need to go to confession…I have forgiven myself and feel God has forgiven me…and I didnt pre-meditate doing it or do it to try to offend God

Please help
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It is clear that you are not at peace. A clean soul will bring you peace. First of all, the tragedy of your past has occurred, and is frozen in time. You, however, have moved on. When you revisit the past, you risk becoming a prisoner of it. To look back is to go back. When I revisit my past, I find that many fond memories are tainted by sin, so I must leave them where they are and move on. God has offered you deliverance from your past through the Blood of Christ, Who was pierced for your sins. You need harm yourself no more.

We are confronted by the evil one in everything we do. The evil one does not want you to confess your sins, as he hates a clean soul. He is pleased when you decide to harm yourself, since he desires that harm come to you. Your choice here is dramatic: God is love, healing, comfort and peace. The evil one is suffering, torment, destruction and death. Please do whatever it takes to simply go and confess. The priest does not have to understand, since God understands - he is there to absolve and he desires strongly, in the person and place of Christ, to absolve you of your sin.

Your priest has heard unimaginable sins - sins that make yours pale in comparison. As to confession, consider that a doctor sometimes causes a little pain during treatment, but the end result is blessed healing. And, so confession always has some pain associated with it, since sin is pain. However, the pain is not caused by God, or by the Priest, but by our own weakness when we submitted to temptation.

Go, and confess! Be cleansed. Be at peace.
 
Consider this entry from the Catechism of the Catholic Church:
“The whole power of the sacrament of Penance consists in restoring us to God’s grace and joining us with him in an intimate friendship.”…] CCC 1468
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If you had trouble with a Friend who loved you no matter what (i.e., even if you cut yourself),
and that Friend had the power to make everything better (heal whatever wounds have been opened…wounds that I assume are more severe than any wounds a knife could cause),
then wouldn’t you want to remove whatever obstructions were in the path between you and Him?

If you’re worried that a priest “won’t get it”, remember that
[A priest] should have a proven knowledge of Christian behavior, experience of human affairs…] CCC 1466
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AND
All that Jesus did for us was out of Love.
Since Christ entrusted to his apostles the ministry of reconciliation, bishops who are their successors, and priests, the bishops’ collaborators, continue to exercise [the sacrament of reconciliation]…] CCC 1461
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We must realize that Christ knew there would be situations that would be hard to understand and even harder to talk about, but He loved us so much He gave us the sacrament anyway, so that we may be closer to Him.
It may be hard for us to talk to a priest about certain things (we all have sins that we’d rather not have to discuss), but it’s harder for Our Lord to see us suffer.

You are in my prayers, my friend!
 
FMLJoliecouer said:
I am fairly new to the Catholic faith and my conscience is telling me I committed a sin, but something is stopping me from going.

I recently had some old wounds re-opened around my incest as a child and I went back to some really old behaviours …cutting myself with a knife.

Please dont ask me why I do it…I just dont know what to do…I dont want my priest to know I did it as He wont get it. I am ashamed of it and so
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I believe that yhou ned to see a specialist; I do not think confession would be the best advice’

JESUS I TRUST IN YOU

jr
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I’m sorry you were abused as a child and that there was no one to stand up for you. What concerns me is that you still seem to be suffering from the effects of an event that happened a long time ago. Even if you went through counseling, I don’t believe counseling alone is enough to deal with the aftermath of this type of sin.

When Jesus died on the cross 2000 years ago, He didn’t die just to save us from our sins–it was much more than that. Jesus died so we could get back all the gifts God had originally given us in the Garden of Eden. Jesus died so we could regain God’s favor-- good health, prosperity, blessings, etc. Most Christians know this, but it goes far deeper than that. Jesus died for the person who sinned against you and He died so you wouldn’t feel the shame from the sin committed against you. He died so this person could be forgiven and He died so you would have it in your heart to forgive this person too. JESUS TOOK ALL OF OUR BURDENS PAST AND PRESENT AND FUTURE and they were nailed on the cross where they remain today. Jesus died especially so that you wouldn’t ever have to feel the desire to try to hurt yourself again.

People wonder sometimes why Jesus had to suffer so cruelly at the hands of His captors, but it was to pay the price FOR HUMANITY FOR ALL TIME. Jesus ransomed His life so you could have a blessed life, the life you were meant to have. Although He agonized over this decision in the Garden of Gethsemane, He knew that, without dying on the cross, we would ALL BE LOST FOREVER. You need to know that God loves you SO MUCH that he sent His only Son to STAND FOR YOU. What that means is that Jesus took your place on the cross–for you and for your offender.

When I commit a sin–I repent to God (tell him I’m sorry) immediately. As a Catholic–after you repent–I encourage you to go to confession. When you step into the confessional, know that you are not confessing your sins to a priest, but to God Himself. God already forgave you when you told Him you were sorry but confession (for Catholics) was instituted by the church so Catholics would know by the act of confessing that God has truly forgiven them.

You have to believe that God is a GOOD GOD. God does not intervene in our lives like He did in the Old Testament. But He’s still there–you just need to call upon Him. When you’re hurting and feel like hurting yourself or worse–turn to Him, cry out to the Father. What will happen is, a friend may call you to reach out to you or you’ll hear a message from God on television or through a song. But if you really want to hear God’s voice, I encourage you to read the bible. It is the word of God (God’s word), and it is here where God is trying to communicate with you.

The shame from this event is so powerful that it still has control over your life. But Jesus died to free you from this curse. If you have not truly forgiven your offender, please consider doing so. Unforgiveness keeps us in bondage, in prison. Once you let your offender go, you are free to live the kind of blessed life God wants you to live.

Feeling shame or anger or wanting to hurt youself doesn’t make you a bad person. Grave sin (serious sin) leaves damaging effects but Jesus alone can make it right. It is for the lost sheep that Jesus came–the broken hearted, the sinner. He said “I did not come for those who are well. I came to heal the sick.” Jesus is always there ready and waiting for that moment when you open your heart to Him and call upon His name. It is NEVER TOO LATE to call on Jesus and NO SIN IS SO GREAT that it cannot be forgiven. That is why Jesus died on the cross for you and for me and that is why He will never stop loving you.

Jesus Rocks
 
I think you should bring it up in the context of the whole trauma you suffered. What you suffered as a child has left consequences. Confession can help you heal. Priests encounter all sorts of things and self harm is not unheard of.
 
po18guy said:
It is clear that you are not at peace. A clean soul will bring you peace. First of all, the tragedy of your past has occurred, and is frozen in time. You, however, have moved on. When you revisit the past, you risk becoming a prisoner of it. To look back is to go back. When I revisit my past, I find that many fond memories are tainted by sin, so I must leave them where they are and move on. God has offered you deliverance from your past through the Blood of Christ, Who was pierced for your sins. You need harm yourself no more.

We are confronted by the evil one in everything we do. The evil one does not want you to confess your sins, as he hates a clean soul. He is pleased when you decide to harm yourself, since he desires that harm come to you. Your choice here is dramatic: God is love, healing, comfort and peace. The evil one is suffering, torment, destruction and death. Please do whatever it takes to simply go and confess. The priest does not have to understand, since God understands - he is there to absolve and he desires strongly, in the person and place of Christ, to absolve you of your sin.

Your priest has heard unimaginable sins - sins that make yours pale in comparison. As to confession, consider that a doctor sometimes causes a little pain during treatment, but the end result is blessed healing. And, so confession always has some pain associated with it, since sin is pain. However, the pain is not caused by God, or by the Priest, but by our own weakness when we submitted to temptation.

Go, and confess! Be cleansed. Be at peace.
Click to expand...
Thanks for the advice…I agree except for one thing…I didnt revist the past…it revisited me…when my abuser died …all this **** came up again…including physical pain in my vagina…depression , anxiety , psychosisetc etc. When I try to run away…the problems just get bigger. Jesus is healing me and I know it…as well, as Im on meds, and Im in the process of applying for victim assistance, as I live way below poverty and am a single mom with 2 kids…no help from father.(financial) Dont assume I brought this on
 
People wonder sometimes why Jesus had to suffer so cruelly at the hands of His captors, but it was to pay the price FOR HUMANITY FOR ALL TIME. Jesus ransomed His life so you could have a blessed life, the life you were meant to have. Although He agonized over this decision in the Garden of Gethsemane, He knew that, without dying on the cross, we would ALL BE LOST FOREVER. You need to know that God loves you SO MUCH that he sent His only Son to STAND FOR YOU. What that means is that Jesus took your place on the cross–for you and for your offender.

When I commit a sin–I repent to God (tell him I’m sorry) immediately. As a Catholic–after you repent–I encourage you to go to confession. When you step into the confessional, know that you are not confessing your sins to a priest, but to God Himself. God already forgave you when you told Him you were sorry but confession (for Catholics) was instituted by the church so Catholics would know by the act of confessing that God has truly forgiven them.

You have to believe that God is a GOOD GOD. God does not intervene in our lives like He did in the Old Testament. But He’s still there–you just need to call upon Him. When you’re hurting and feel like hurting yourself or worse–turn to Him, cry out to the Father. What will happen is, a friend may call you to reach out to you or you’ll hear a message from God on television or through a song. But if you really want to hear God’s voice, I encourage you to read the bible. It is the word of God (God’s word), and it is here where God is trying to communicate with you.

The shame from this event is so powerful that it still has control over your life. But Jesus died to free you from this curse. If you have not truly forgiven your offender, please consider doing so. Unforgiveness keeps us in bondage, in prison. Once you let your offender go, you are free to live the kind of blessed life God wants you to live.

Feeling shame or anger or wanting to hurt youself doesn’t make you a bad person. Grave sin (serious sin) leaves damaging effects but Jesus alone can make it right. It is for the lost sheep that Jesus came–the broken hearted, the sinner. He said “I did not come for those who are well. I came to heal the sick.” Jesus is always there ready and waiting for that moment when you open your heart to Him and call upon His name. It is NEVER TOO LATE to call on Jesus and NO SIN IS SO GREAT that it cannot be forgiven. That is why Jesus died on the cross for you and for me and that is why He will never stop loving you.

Jesus Rocks

Thanks…I will remember that…and I have forgiven my abuser…and protected him from harm my whole life and spared him emmbarrassment etc…all at my own expense…I make a great martyr
 
Contra_Mundum said:
I think you should bring it up in the context of the whole trauma you suffered. What you suffered as a child has left consequences. Confession can help you heal. Priests encounter all sorts of things and self harm is not unheard of.
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Thanks…peace
 
FMLJoliecouer said:
Please dont ask me why I do it…I just dont know what to do…I dont want my priest to know I did it as He wont get it. I am ashamed of it and so on…

I guess what Im asking is do I really need to go to confession…I have forgiven myself and feel God has forgiven me…and I didnt pre-meditate doing it or do it to try to offend God

Please help
Click to expand...
Please… your priest WILL get it. I can assure you. I was abused as a child as well and it also led into sinful behaviour for me. Priests have heard it all; some priests actually have psychology training, and the type of self-mutilation you are speaking of is documented in psychological textbooks.

You cannot begin to imagine the importance confession, preferably to a regular confessor who knows your circumstances especially in a difficult situation as yours, can have on your healing. Trust your priest, the seal of the confessional is absolute, and I am sure you will find it a great comfort that you did trust him.

For me, confession was the beginning of a road to healing. I left many tears in the confessional, believe me and I had to unload many embarrassing things on him. My confessor has been wonderful through it all, a rock I can count on.
 
FMLJoliecouer said:
Thanks for the advice…I agree except for one thing…I didnt revist the past…it revisited me…when my abuser died …all this **** came up again…including physical pain in my vagina…depression , anxiety , psychosisetc etc. When I try to run away…the problems just get bigger. Jesus is healing me and I know it…as well, as Im on meds, and Im in the process of applying for victim assistance, as I live way below poverty and am a single mom with 2 kids…no help from father.(financial) Dont assume I brought this on
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Not assuming anything here. However, through the Blood of Jesus Christ, you do have absolute power over what affects you. Our Lord frees you from your past, no matter who was responsible for its terrors. He will strengthen you to resist even the temptation to allow old feelings to intrude. And, they do try incessantly to intrude, waiting for a weak moment. With our Lord as your strength, you cannot lose to evil.
 
po18guy said:
Not assuming anything here. However, through the Blood of Jesus Christ, you do have absolute power over what affects you. Our Lord frees you from your past, no matter who was responsible for its terrors. He will strengthen you to resist even the temptation to allow old feelings to intrude. And, they do try incessantly to intrude, waiting for a weak moment. With our Lord as your strength, you cannot lose to evil.
Click to expand...
There you go again…you are assuming that I am bringing on the physical memories, flashbacks, nightmares etc…and giving in to temptation…
I just finished telling you that I am not bringing it on…and I already know Jesus is with me and is healing me and so on…I was simply asking about confession…NOW STOP BLAMING THE VICTIM you *******
 
Hi, well,

I have a pressing matter and went to confession last Saturday = all the way there I didn’t know what to say,how deep to go, or what. On arrival - I found that un-anounced it was over and replaced by a simple Mass. Can you imagine that?!
At the close of Mass = the Priest said - Let your life be the the Glory of God.

I realised that the Mass was my confession and my penance was to live to give Gods Glory. I was very humbled = but really thats it
I felt strongly that He didn’t want all my words and explainations - just a change in my heart to let His Glory grow!

Let God work in you
 
FMLJoliecouer said:
…I was simply asking about confession
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I would bring it up in Confession, but I have on occasion gone to Confession where I was not known when it involved something that I would be completely embarressed/mortified to have someone who knows me know about. I felt it would change how he looked at/reacted to me. That is a possibility, you don’t have to confess to a priest who knows you, the grace of the Sacrament is what matters. I also know very well that you don’t chose/allow things like this to come back up, but when they do Confession helps.
 
Notice:

This thread is now closed. After much thought, the moderation and administrative staff have decided not to allow solicitation on the forums of people with mental health concerns. While well-intentioned, it is not possible for such support to be given over the Internet and could, potentially, be dangerous. People experiencing mental-health concerns should seek a referral to a mental health professional from their physician or pastor. Thanks to all who participated in the discussion.
 
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