To date or not to date...?

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So I am a young professional and have not yet been on a date- simply because, not really a choice. Question is: I know I don’t want kids, therefore wouldn’t get married (I have legitimate reasons, don’t hassle me), so should I just never go on a date? That seems a bit presumptuous…

“Hey, would you like to have dinner?”

“No, I don’t want kids”

“Woah, that moved quick…”
 
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The single life isn’t so bad. Wait, what do you mean by professional?
 
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You can date. You probably should. It would help you learn a lot about yourself and others. And I think many people don’t want kids when they’re single but that changes when they love someone and they love them back

And I don’t think you should think a date is anything beyond just the date itself. That mindset is dangerous and unrealistic. Dating is all about getting to know the other person. Saying you don’t want kids right at the beginning is too much too fast
 
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Ahhhh the innocence of youth!

If you start dating, then you will likely find, like almost all other human beings in history, that the rewards for bonding with a mate change your view of what you want pretty quickly.

Good luck playing with fire, buddy! 😃
 
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TOBaddict said:
“Hey, would you like to have dinner?”

“No, I don’t want kids”

“Woah, that moved quick…”
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I take that as humorous.
There is nothing wrong with casual dating. We are social beings and that interaction is good and necessary for overall health. Be open to whatever you are called to; single, married, or religious life.
 
I don’t mind having dinner if they pay the bill. 😏
But I don’t want to be using people. 🤔
 
Definitely not using people. Just clearing up what I meant by “young professional”
 
Dating is fun - though the woman does want to scan you out - like a job interview - lol

Maybe…you’ll change your mind on having kids ?

Believe it or not - some women don’t want kids either -
But sometimes they say that - as a trick - so be careful with that !

Time to get your toes wet - with dating -
But be careful you don’t get involved with a non-believer - for starters.
Save yourself the headaches and heartaches - over that.
 
TOBaddict said:
“Hey, would you like to have dinner?”

“No, I don’t want kids”

“Woah, that moved quick…”
Click to expand...
This is funny, but in all seriousness, you don’t have to give a reason. You can just say, “No thanks!”

One problem you might run into is possibly rejecting the opportunity for good friendships, which all people need married or not. Sometimes friends go out together one-on-one, too.
 
I probably have a minority opinion here, but I think that one should date ONLY as a first step to discerning marriage–so I would tell you, no, don’t date.

That said: There’s nothing wrong with going out for a social meal or coffee or something with someone. Just be clear about your expectations, and I DON’T recommend letting a man pay for your meal (unless he’s a relative, or something).
 
Well, if dating is the process of finding a sex partner or marital partner and you aren’t seeking either of those, I’d suggest not dating.

It’s possible you’ll get to know someone and catch feelings for them and they for you. You could reevaluate your feelings then and perhaps discuss the issue and decide whether or not you want to pursue a relationship. But why set yourself and another person up for disappointment and confusion by dating when it can’t go anywhere?

Most people who are in the dating scene are looking for a partner. Might be better to cultivate friendships than romantic attachments.
 
You say you’re young - have you spent any time discerning what God wants for you, rather than what you’ve decided you want for you?

I think that’s probably the first step on this - determine what vocation God is calling you to. If you discern that He is not calling you to marriage, then I see no reason for dating. If you discern that you are not called to marriage, “dating” seems like nothing more than a way to fulfill worldly desires (and lead yourself to occasions of sin).
 
heidi_storage said:
I probably have a minority opinion here, but I think that one should date ONLY as a first step to discerning marriage–so I would tell you, no, don’t date.
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The problem is that OP may not know she doesn’t want marriage or kids if she’s never really dated. Sometimes things don’t sound appealing in the abstract, but maybe she’d change her mind if she met the right guy. Or maybe not, which is fine too.
 
This is true, but as long as she feels certain that she doesn’t want kids, and as a Catholic, that pretty much precludes her from marrying, it’s not really honest to hit the dating scene. Most of us meet people in our daily lives that we find attractive and interesting, and she will have opportunities to reconsider her position without purposely engaging the attention of someone who IS seeking a sexual or marital partner.

All of the serious relationships in my life have been with people I met and got to know via work, friends, or other activities, not via dating sites or going out specifically seeking someone to date. That allowed me an extended period of discernment before putting ourselves into a situation where we were testing our compatibility as romantic partners. A lot of air was cleared before we started to get expectations rolling.
 
Well you don’t have to mention having kids on a first date… or a second… or a third… Or… you shouldn’t mention it lol! Leave the making kids discussion for later.
As in even if you did want kids you shouldn’t mention this during dating but rather during a relationship.
If the man asks you just say you are undecided (men love that for most part) which is also true because if you don’t want kids but you do want to date you may be undecided deep down inside.
Today men date without the possibility of marriage even being a vague, pale, very pale possibility. Chances of finding a men who does want kids are lower than finding one that who does not want kids at least in theory.
 
No, I’m just now at the age where people are more serious about dating, which has left me wondering what to do.

I haven’t dated before simply because there hasn’t been an opportunity, I’m shy, been busy with school, etc.
 
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