To former atheists: Finding God

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For my brothers and sisters who were former atheists… how did you find/receive the gift of faith? How did you find God? I’m really interested to know your journey.
 
This is not a personal story, but I thought it was interesting.

My cousin’s friend was an atheist. One day, he was alone in a room and felt something watching him persistently, though he couldn’t explain it. He became a Christian.
 
I have never been an athiest, but I have kept up the biographys of apologists who defend christianity, (but not specifically Catholicsm)

There are many different ways in which atheists find faith. Peter Hitchens, for example, found it through fear of the Lord. (Old artwork of Hell in a museum caused him to re-think his life, and the importance of the question of “does God exist?”). **Dr. Francis Collins **found it by re-examining what spirituality was really all about after sitting and talking with people on their deathbeds and seeing them display their faith. **G.K. Chesterton **found it by seeing how faith had transformed his wife’s life for the better, and by intellectual inquiry. **Lee Strobel **has the same story. **C.S. Lewis **found faith after a long intellectual journey, and by researching philosophical and theological arguments. **Alister McGrath **also found it through intellectual inquiry. Howard Storm found faith after a near-death experience, and claims to have spoken with Jesus.

Peter Hitchens- Journalist,
Dr. Francis Collins- Evolutionary biologist, former head of the Human Genome Project
G.K. Chesterton- Journalist, most respected Catholic apologist
Lee Strobel- Journalist
C.S. Lewis- Scholar, Teacher,
Alister McGrath- Professor at Oxford University
Howard Storm- Former militant athiest and Professor, now pastor
 
Okay, so I was in the shower.

No, really. It sounds ridiculous, but I always did my best thinking in the shower. Still do. I was thinking about the “first instant”, if you will, and the moment the universe came into being, and I found that there was still something missing. It could only be filled by a diety.

One thing lead to another, blah blah blah, and here I am, a leftist, evolutionist, “big bang” student on the road to baptism and confirmation.

There were a lot of factors in finding God specifically and later the catholic church. I spent a lot of time reading and watching documentaries and talking to the people I trusted.
 
For my brothers and sisters who were former atheists… how did you find/receive the gift of faith? How did you find God? I’m really interested to know your journey.
Hmmmm… I was not an atheist, I was an agnostic.

I walked away from faith in my young teens. I was involved in an Apostolic/Pentecostal church that my best friend’s family was in.

Every Sunday, it was like going to a rock concert… with lots of screaming and the pastor grabbing my head and yelling into my face, “Give this boy the Holy Ghost!!!”

Then there was the feeling that I had that things just weren’t right… Looking back I can say that it was because the service was more oriented to praise of the pastor than to praise of the Lord.

So… I left… Years later, I returned to God shortly after the birth of my daughter. I was going through the motions before (joining RCIA, etc…) because my ex wife was a cradle Catholic.

But seeing my daughter born… Watching her take her first breath, that brought me back to God and I took RCIA and my faith seriously after that (in 1998)
 
I used to be fairly atheistic in my religious stance, and my religious views changed for one reason: I couldn’t believe wholeheartedly that matter was all there was. Fact is that there are things in this world which cannot be explained with purely matter-based theories. I couldn’t find any reason to suppose that consciousness and life itself could be explained with atoms. Not one bit. Nothing creates itself. Matter in itself isn’t alive. It needs something to MAKE it alive.

I also did a lot of reading on a more philosophical note, taking in the writings of some of the Early Church Fathers, some more modern writings, even the likes of Nietzsche, C.S. Lewis to see why they said what they did and how they justified their beliefs and assertions/arguments. I read a lot on theosis in particular, as well as theological writings on the significance of the Crucifixion and the Resurrection. This led me to really be able to justify any religious beliefs I might hold, not in the shallows but in a truly deep spiritual sense. Probably for the first time in my life I saw the real Christianity, for myself, in a format which made sense to me.

On a much more personal level, and something which wasn’t necessarily a factor in my gradual re-conversion to religion, I also couldn’t stand the smugness and ‘we’re atheists and so better than you religious people’ condescension which seems to be so common in the atheist community. Too many of the atheists I know personally try and make it out to be some sort of crusade for ‘reason’ against religious fanaticism without realizing that there is a middle ground in anything, and that the majority of Christians, and indeed religious people, are indeed in this middle field.
They also seem to include in this some bizarre reasoning that reason = not being religious. They don’t seem to see that Christianity, far from being the easy answer that many irreligious people seem to think that Christianity and religion is, can provide for us a strong and indeed logical frame of reasoning.

Sorry to blather on, but I needed to say this.
 
I was a non-practicing Catholic for most part of my childhood/early adolescense until I became an atheist at around 15-16, after a good couple of years of questioning God and researching religions to see if I found myself able to fit into any of them. No such luck.

I decided to come to terms with the fact that I was an atheist, funnily enough, through a sign that back then I could only interpret as a sign from God. A sign that told me to walk away, calmly because it was part of my path to do so. Won’t go into details about that, but I’ll say that after a year or so of desperately realizing I might not believe in anything, I felt like God gave me a pat on the back telling me that, for now, that was ok.

About 7 years later, at 21, I met a wonderful guy. He was an American volunteer with a religious organization here in Lima, and we hit it off right from the start. The first time we went out together (by ourselves - we were both too shy and insecure then to call it a proper “date”) we stayed out until about 5am sitting under a tree, staring at the sea, and talking about a bunch of things. One of them was religion - which I felt nervous about because I knew how religious this guy was. Even though I wasn’t religious, I considered myself a very spiritual person, and it was through that conversation with him that I realized that what he was saying when he talked to me about God, Jesus and religion as a whole sounded exactly the same as when I talked about the abstract concepts of love, compassion, peace, etc. I also found myself surprised to see that, for the first time, I wasn’t judging/being close-minded towards someone who was citing passages straight from the Bible to me (though that was probably because I was really into him, too 😛 )

A few weeks after that outing, we started dating, officially. Some weeks after that while I was in the middle of meditation (I practice yoga and meditation), I had a beautiful moment of pure bliss and happiness. It was the most beautiful moment of my life, and it took me to the point where tears started rolling down my face because of what I felt. I was shocked when I came out of that ‘state’…I was scared to accept I had finally experienced God. I told my, by then, boyfriend about it and he told me that right before that he had asked a friend of his to pray for me so that I may find God, and that he had been doing the same. A few months later, I found myself going to Church trying to get myself acquainted with everything…few months later I went to (a 2-hour long) Confession and was then able to participate in the Eucharist…went to Mass every Sunday since…got Confirmed some months later, in May of this year 🙂

This wonderful guy I speak of is my boyfriend still after about a year and a half and I will be eternally grateful to him for giving me that final push to open the doors of my heart to God…just as I’ll be eternally thankful to God for having put my boyfriend in my path 🙂
 
Wow, some beautiful stories here (particularly lauralh4’s)!

Here’s how I started on the path to belief. I grew up an atheist in a non-religious family. In high school, I worked on my genealogy and learned about my great-grandfather, a Swede who immigrated to America and became a Lutheran pastor. This lead to my college thesis for my history degree: The Language Conversion in the Lutheran Church (Augustana Synod) from Swedish to English. So, I learned a lot about my great-grandfather and felt quite close to him.

Sometime after I finished college, I was at a casino playing blackjack with my friends (we used to do this often, for many hours). During a downtime when the dealer was shuffling, I was thinking about my great-grandfather. The thought struck me: “If I am correct that there is no God, then my great-grandfather’s entire life was a sham. As a 23 year old, are I really prepared to say that?” I decided I was not yet willing to confidently claim such a thing with so little experience in life, and in that moment, the seed was planted that I needed to investigate (I didn’t realize it at the time, but looking back now, 15 years later, I see how that was the door that lead me down the path to God).
 
I’m a former atheist, who long story made short, was deeply wounded by beauty, which is the best way I have found to describe my encounter with Christ. 🙂

Peace.
 
I was never an atheist but my husband was before we met. He said he switched to agnostic after many debates with other atheists in forums. You’d be surprised how many “denominations” of athiests there are. There are many missing pieces in the puzzle of an atheistic worldview. In debates they tend to focus more on the hipocracy of Christians than they do on the origins of all things. My main point to the more scientific style atheist is always about energy. You cannot create energy from nothing nor can you destroy it. It is only harnessed. So where does our energy go when our physical body dies?

Here is an excellent article by a former atheist professor:
leaderu.com/real/ri9801/budziszewski.html

And one by Christian Apologist Ravi Zacharias:
dev.rzim.org/usa/usfv/tabid/436/articleid/88/cbmoduleid/1045/default.aspx
 
My Grandpa used to be an Atheist but somehow my Grandma’s death has gotten him to believe in God. Unfortunately he still has very unorthodox views. He does not believe that Hell exists and he believes that everyone goes to Heaven after they die so he is a universalist. I hope and pray that he converts to Catholicism sometime before he dies but whether or not that happens, I have no idea.
 
This is a very interesting collection of stories. I would like to mention the case of Anthony Flew. Flew died in 2010 after a long, distinguished career as a philosopher. During the height of his career, he was the most influential and famous of atheists. Yet, around age 80 he started to express public doubts about the existence of God. At age 81 he publicly declared that he was now a Deist, i.e. he believed in a God who created the universe. He also warmed to the possibility that this God reveals himself to man. He co-authored a book with Abraham Varghese, titled There is a God, which I found fascinating reading.
 
So here’s my story … I was not an atheist myself, but I was something of an agnostic - actually, I was not interested in the subject of religion at all, and growing up, my family stop going to church when I was about 7 or 8.

Twenty years ago, a friend and I were going hiking and decided to stop at the Mother Cabrini Shrine in the foothills near Denver. He was Catholic and explained a lot of things, and told me about the water from the mysterious spring at the grotto being blessed or something. He said, “Take a drink and say a prayer,” so I did. I wasn’t a believer and I didn’t know how to “pray,” and didn’t know what an intercession was, but I prayed silently to be led to a more spiritual life. We went on our way that day and I didn’t give it much thought after that.

A few months later I found myself in an RCIA class at the invitation of a friend, joined myself, and long story short, the following Easter I was confirmed and received First Eucharist. I truly love our Lord, love His Church, and love being Catholic. I am convinced that my visit to the Mother Cabrini shrine that summer was the start of my Catholic journey.
 
These are great conversion stories. My own father is an agnostic, and we got into a good conversation this morning. He’s one who does not “see God” in the world around him, or feel that he needs to invoke God as an explanation for the beauty and order of the universe. He feels that that is a cop-out, and yet he considers himself more agnostic than atheist because he leaves room for the possibility of there being a God. It’s just that as of yet he doesn’t find any compelling reason to believe there is one. He feels content with this.

I came on here for the purpose of finding such a thread as this, where clues may be given on how an agnostic might come to the faith, so that I could better know how to influence my dad towards God. From what I’ve read, it appears that although people have played a role in bringing agnostics/atheists to the faith, ultimately it is the individual (at least in their perception) that finds God through their thought process, through reading, through experiencing things directly that lead them to have faith. It seems that my best approach is to continue praying, to live out the faith, and to speak the right word at the right time. Any further suggestions are welcome.
 
I used to be an atheist and a mocker of religious faith. I often used to debate Christians online, and I don’t know how, but I encountered quotes from scripture and they stuck to me. It is very important that all people encounter scripture. The Word of God fulfills all its purposes just by being read or heard.

I had a very sorrowful life, and at the pinnacle of sorrow, I realized how hollow my beliefs were. I couldn’t see the point of living if life is just a series of never-ending sorrow. By the logical conclusion suicide and death seemed like the most logical option: that the best thing that can happen to humanity is if it never existed, since the universe is an uncaring place. Morality was just nonsense that could be override by reason, and the one with the most power can decide what is moral. Finally, life without something transcendent is meaningless, because all our lives have no lasting effect on the universe. Reaching this nihilistic understanding I also asked myself “what if”. What if God is not some imaginary crutch, but the very reason only God could fill in all those blanks is because He truly is? What if fear of looking weak enough to reach out to God was my actual weakness? That is, pride. Why shouldn’t I reach out to God? I had nothing to lose right? If I reached out and fell, then I would know the truth. If I reached out and touched God… well “what if?”

Analyzing my feelings I realized I cared too much about what other people would think. I cared too much that other people would not respect me anymore if I went from atheist to religion (especially Christianity, a faith I had ridiculed for so long and condemned in my heart). I realized that and said “the hell with it; why should I be so vain? Let the world think me a crazy fool, but if I truly find God I will be blessed. At least I will know the truth even though I do not find Him. I have nowhere else to go.” All this time the verses of knocking and the door being opened and seeking God with all your heart drove me.

I read the bible and cried much and prayed, “God, if you are real, show me which faith I can find you in?” and fell asleep. When I woke up all these strange mystical experiences started happening. Twice I managed to convince myself that it was just a delusion of my mind, that I was mentally unstable. Eventually I just came to accept those experiences, especially after crying out to God and experiencing bliss and joy not of this world. And despite these mystical experiences confirming the Catholic faith, I had to be dragged to the truth kicking and screaming–especially since Protestants lie so much about it online (Mystery Babylon accusations).

I will say this: if an atheist prays with his heart intended on finding God, it will happen. But it is very hard to pray with your full heart and soul. Suffering helps here. Suffering makes us repent and seek God.
 
For my brothers and sisters who were former atheists… how did you find/receive the gift of faith? How did you find God? I’m really interested to know your journey.
An answered prayer (the act of the prayer was the idea of my Catholic wife, not my own).

For the prayer to come true so many variables had to align in perfect places and times I couldn’t chalk it up to coincidence.

Its not every day your entire worldview cracks apart, but I’m glad it did. I have a genuinely open mind and was able to adapt quickly. 👍
 
Oh, such wonderful testimonies here!!

**Welcome Home All!! **

Thanks for the links, too. I find conversion stories so edifyng, though I have never totally rejected God, I am a Prodigal Daughter. Was away for a while during college years (yeah, so typical, it seems) and came back after getting married and growing in the faith more each year since. My dh converted after 25 years, but had a background in a non-denominational church.

I have a great favor to ask all of you who have posted (and who may be just reading) here:

Please pray for 2 of my sons, one of whom has declared publicly (on Facebook) that he is an atheist and one who I think is just wandering; not church-going and doesn’t seem to care one way or the other. They are both grown adults. I cannot talk with them about this and can only pray God will find a way to reach them, and that I will be able to witness their conversion before He calls me to my Heavenly Home.

Signed - Sorrowful Mother (but hopeful, too)
 
For my brothers and sisters who were former atheists… how did you find/receive the gift of faith? How did you find God? I’m really interested to know your journey.
Well, I’m technically an ex-atheist, but only when I was at my most utterly ignorant and unthinking. I was maybe 14-16 at the time, and flirted with atheism periodically through that time. For most of my early life I was agnostic, again, because I was basically ignorant and didn’t care to think about it.

I encountered some very good apologetics around three or four years ago, which made a deist of me. Again, still pretty much unthinking and ignorant.

Came across Edward Feser’s The Last Superstition just under a year ago, and became my present, fanatically Catholic self. Deo gratias.
 
:

Please pray for 2 of my sons, one of whom has declared publicly (on Facebook) that he is an atheist and one who I think is just wandering; not church-going and doesn’t seem to care one way or the other. They are both grown adults. I cannot talk with them about this and can only pray God will find a way to reach them, and that I will be able to witness their conversion before He calls me to my Heavenly Home.

Signed - Sorrowful Mother (but hopeful, too)
Done, but in my opinion they may just need some time and space to find their way back (I am assuming you raised them Catholic) from enjoying the independence of adulthood. When they have kids of their own I’ll bet they have them baptised.
 
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