patientone:
There’s always abstainance. It worked for St. Joseph.
I guess I should have added that my friend has always felt a strong desire to marry and have children, but having grown up in a very abusive family, she went off to college “looking for love in all the wrong places” as the song goes. And in the wrong ways.
Anyway, after getting herpes, which she sees as God’s chastisement, she gave up her casual boyfriends, gave her life back to God, and began practicing her Catholic faith again. After praying the Rosary a lot, she then read a book that she found in her mother’s bookcase, that had mysteriously been given to her mother while she and her mother were hiding out in a motel away from her abusive father during her freshman year of high school. Evidently the woman who gave her mother the book, worked at the front office of a motel they stayed at, but when her mother went back to thank the woman for the book, the owners of the motel said they did not have any other employees. Unfortunately, my friend’s mother never shared this story with her until after her conversion began.
Anyway, my friend loaned me the book to read. It is about a Catholic nun who was given the gift of healing in a prayer meeting at a time when she was about to leave the religious life in the late 60’s. The gifts of the Holy Spirit kept this nun from leaving like so many others. And as my friend pointed out to me when she loaned me the book, the nun tells of her time in prison ministry, and of a time when she met a prisoner and asked if he had any prayer requests. Much to the nun’s shock and dismay, he proceeded to say that he had a severe venereal disease that the doctors could not help and he wanted to ask the Lord for healing. The nun’s first thought was something like, “How dare this guy ask for healing! He gets what he deserves for his misbehavior.” Then the Holy Spirit gave her a thought something like “How dare you stand in the way of My Desire to Heal and Have Mercy.” So the nun humbled by God’s admonishment, prayed with the man, and he was healed.
So to conclude, this book gave my friend a glimmer of hope that God might heal her so she could marry and have children. She has abstained and practiced chastity for over 10 years. But she has not been healed despite going to healing Masses and despite her prayers. I think the problem is that she has been told different things by different priests and different lay people, and she also fears rejection, judgment, and gossip by the Catholic men that have asked her out. So she turns everyone away with her paralytic-like interactions. It is like she cannot be herself and cannot forgive herself and cannot be relaxed with any man. It is sad and right now she finds herself with someone who likes her and that she likes, but she is like a dear caught in headlights.
So I think what was posted by Mr. Mike seems to be the right advice to give her, especially since her desire to love and be loved is so strong. And I think she needs to trust in God more.
