Today was annoying!

[TheMc]

I disagree that everything can simply be dumped in the lap of the parish priest. If you are annoyed and want change within your parish church, you cannot step back and blame it solely on the priest/bishop.

But isn’t he the one who has the power to fix them?

 

[NewEnglandPriest]

But isn’t he the one who has the power to fix them?

Define “power.” There’s a reason that when a more orthodox pastor follows a more liberal one that the bishop usually says to him, “go slow.”

Parishioners can withhold money, attendence can drop significantly, or volunteers could become very problematic. If enough people don’t like what’s happening then things can get very ugly very fast.

 

[jmcrae]

But isn’t he the one who has the power to fix them?

Nobody has any power to make other people behave in a certain way.

All anyone can do is make suggestions - whether those suggestions will be followed or not is up to the people themselves. It’s not the priest who decorates the Church; it’s the decorating committee - and they will do it the way they were taught to do it by their grandparents way back in 1964, and they may or may not consider the suggestions of the priest.

The priest is in a bind in that if he fires them, no one else will volunteer out of fear of being criticized for their work.

 

[TheMc]

Nobody has any power to make other people behave in a certain way. All anyone can do is make suggestions - whether those suggestions will be followed or not is up to the people themselves.

Try telling that to your boss at work. Seriously! Does this argument really hold any water?

It’s not the priest who decorates the Church; it’s the decorating committee - and they will do it the way they were taught to do it by their grandparents way back in 1964, and they may or may not consider the suggestions of the priest.

The priest does not give “suggestions”. I mean, he may give suggestions, but if the pastor wants it a certain way, then it should be like that, unless there is something morally wrong with what he is asking.

If volunteers do not want to follow the priest’s instructions, then that is their own problem. Of all of these supposed “committees” and “councils”, the priest has the final say. The council is only there to advise the priest, not take his instructions as “guidelines”. They are there to assist him.

Sometimes when I’m serving Mass for priests of a more [cough] liberal [cough] slant, I don’t always like what they ask me to do (such as not ring the bells, or whatever), but as long as there is nothing wrong with what he is asking of me, I obey him, because my role is to assist him, not push my agenda. Same with the parish council.

The priest is in a bind in that if he fires them, no one else will volunteer out of fear of being criticized for their work.

Is this the same attitude people have when getting a job? If I get hired, and get “criticized” because I don’t do what my boss says, or don’t show up for work, or whatever, does that mean my boss is a bad boss because he told me what to do?

I know a group of priests near me that shortly after arriving switched the server program to altar boy only, eliminated EMHCs, and corrected many abuses, with the full support of the bishop, I might add. Yes, people got mad. People got ticked off because they didn’t always listen to the “rulings” of the parish council. Some people even left. But guess what: it doesn’t matter. Many disciples left the Lord Jesus when he got into the more difficult teachings.

They turned the parish around 180 degrees, and now many more people love them for their heroism, because they told the people not what they wanted to hear, but what they needed to hear. And now even more people attend their parish, because of this. They now have one of the best parishes in the whole diocese.

 

[curlycool89]

1. The two servers were in tennis shoes and were completely clueless.

One of the priests I know wears sandals while saying mass, and a friend of mine wears socks with sandals while alter serving. Although, neither of them are clueless.

 

[Maureen1125]

But isn’t he the one who has the power to fix them?

You are never going to make everyone happy and it is pointless to even try.

Honestly, it sounds to me like the OP was simply having a bad day and needed to complain. Nothing that was done was “wrong” or “an abuse”. I am sorry that the OP can’t appreciate having children at mass and sharing his/her faith with a new generation.

Instead of complaining about the confirmation banners how about congratulating the children and welcoming them as full members of the church.

If you have a problem with their behavior you can move to a different seat away for the distraction, you could pray for the parents who are doing the best they can, you can pray for patience and tolerance of others, or you could simply try and set a good example.

 

[TheMc]

You are never going to make everyone happy and it is pointless to even try.

True. That’s why you should simply try and do the right thing, and not always do things because the majority wants it.

Honestly, it sounds to me like the OP was simply having a bad day and needed to complain.

Probably true.

Nothing that was done was “wrong” or “an abuse”. I am sorry that the OP can’t appreciate having children at mass and sharing his/her faith with a new generation.

In all due respect, not everything that he listed is acceptable to do in church or in the Mass. Things such as the votive candles and lack of a certain announcement are annoying but ok, but when you get into things such as the kids leaning cardboard cut-outs on the altar, clapping for the kids during the Mass, or the incessant talking in the church, those are simply unacceptable things.

Instead of complaining about the confirmation banners how about congratulating the children and welcoming them as full members of the church.

Or why get rid of the tacky banners and simply pray with them during Mass.

 

[Phemie]

One of the priests I know wears sandals while saying mass, and a friend of mine wears socks with sandals while alter serving. Although, neither of them are clueless.

I remember when they installed new carpet in my village church’s sanctuary. In order to keep it clean no shoes were allowed. Someone knit the altar servers Phentex slippers with pompom. So everyone was in albs and these:

 

[TheMc]

I remember when they installed new carpet in my village church’s sanctuary. In order to keep it clean no shoes were allowed. Someone knit the altar servers Phentex slippers with pompom. So everyone was in albs and these:

That’s a joke, right?

 

[Phemie]

That’s a joke, right?

Nope, no joke. For several years all the altar servers wore those to preserve the carpet. Well, not necessarily that colour, some were plain, some were stripped and some were checkered. All had the pompom.

 

[TheMc]

Nope, no joke. For several years all the altar servers wore those to preserve the carpet. Well, not necessarily that colour, some were plain, some were stripped and some were checkered. All had the pompom.

Wow.

 

[Phemie]

Wow.

Our former pastor wore sandals with no socks, sandals with socks or mocassins with his vestments. No, he was neither native nor in a member of a sandal-wearing Order, it was simply what he wore. I saw him participate in a Carol and Lesson service dressed in sweat pants and mocassins when all the other denominations’ clergy were in clericals or uniforms (Salvation Army) – it was embarrassing but it goes a long way to explain why implementing a dress code for our altar servers would cause a revolt in our parish.

 

[dconklin]

There ARE battery operated candles at a parish in my town. OY.

This is an insurance issue.

 

[jmcrae]

Try telling that to your boss at work. Seriously! Does this argument really hold any water?

A job is different. Volunteer work is work done for free. Nobody dies if they get fired from a volunteer position - and once a priest gets a reputation as “hard to work with” it’s hard for him to replace the volunteers.

He has to use diplomacy and tact - and sometimes, he has to put up with things he doesn’t like.

 

[Lindner]

Kids are not the problem, the problem is that in average 5 of 10 them show no respect, make too much noise and do not really want to be there.
Some parents have to do a better job with their kids and i will pray the rosary daily for those it may be to do so.

Do not make your kid a prince or princess, but a servant to God.

I agree about the lack of respect. I do get annoyed when parents allow their children to distract others.

 

[PilgrimToChrist]

The Crucifix, the Tabernacle and Statues are not supposed to be veiled any longer. That went out a LONG time ago. You CAN veil them on Good Friday, but you are not supposed to do it all during Lent.

Not all Lent, just during Passiontide.

There should NOT be any Holy Water out during Lent. That was also true before Vatican II.

Umm… come again?

Votive Candles are also NOT a requirement, and they never were. I know of many small parishes that never had them. Because of fire regulations, in many areas they can no longer be used. I have NEVER heard of any “battery operated” votives in any church.

You’ve never heard of electric votive candles? They’re pretty silly but places have them, push a button and a votive candle… err… lightbulb turns on. They’re supposed to reduce fire risk, I guess but they’re ridiculously expensive.

 

[odile53]

My parish church had the statues veiled in purple all through Lent, which struck me as a little odd. I’m used to seeing them veiled from the fifth Sunday on. Okay, I can adjust.

Yesterday, I went to church for the Passion, Veneration, and Communion, and was a little surprised: The tabernacle was open and empty, the sanctuary lamp was out (okay so far,) but—the statues were UNVEILED! Huh?

Only explanations I can come up with is 1) someone must have complained about the statues being veiled for all of Lent, or 2) the contractor with the really big ladder was only available on Friday morning to take the veils down before Saturday evening! It’s a huge, very highly vaulted church, and the statues are WAY up there!

I know that they get this one contractor to do such things as veil statues and change lightbulbs in the pendant lights, because he does have a really long ladder and scaffolding. You’d need it to reach any of those things. We dealt with a flickering light over the Sacred Heart side altar for a few months before the guy could get there to change it. Now, THAT was annoying! I made a habit of sitting on the opposite side of the church because it really did flicker wildly, but insisted on not burning out.

I was going to ask Monsignor about it, but thought better of it, since I don’t happen to personally own a really long ladder!

Sometimes it isn’t “abuse” or “aesthetics.” Sometimes the strange things we see are logistics.

One church in my diocese (one of the two that features a Tridentine Mass every Sunday) has those goofy electric votives. One stand of electric votives has shorted out. You put your donation in the box, press the button, and–nothing. Somebody actually got a big spark from it, and they disconnected the stand (but haven’t removed it yet.) At least the fire prevention item didn’t CAUSE a fire!

They still have regular candle votives there as well. Sounds like another “seemed like a good idea at the time” that didn’t quite hit the mark!

 

[PilgrimToChrist]

My parish church had the statues veiled in purple all through Lent, which struck me as a little odd. I’m used to seeing them veiled from the fifth Sunday on. Okay, I can adjust.

Yesterday, I went to church for the Passion, Veneration, and Communion, and was a little surprised: The tabernacle was open and empty, the sanctuary lamp was out (okay so far,) but—the statues were UNVEILED! Huh?

Only explanations I can come up with is 1) someone must have complained about the statues being veiled for all of Lent, or 2) the contractor with the really big ladder was only available on Friday morning to take the veils down before Saturday evening! It’s a huge, very highly vaulted church, and the statues are WAY up there!

The norm would be, I think, to unveil crosses at Good Friday as that is when we have the unveiling of the cross that we adore but to leave other statues veiled until the Easter Vigil. However, I certainly wouldn’t think it off to unveil everything at Good Friday, especially, as you say, it requires a very tall ladder to veil some (I’m surprised they even bothered to veil those, sometimes pragmatics outweighs the liturgical drama).

One church in my diocese (one of the two that features a Tridentine Mass every Sunday) has those goofy electric votives. One stand of electric votives has shorted out. You put your donation in the box, press the button, and–nothing. Somebody actually got a big spark from it, and they disconnected the stand (but haven’t removed it yet.) At least the fire prevention item didn’t CAUSE a fire!

They still have regular candle votives there as well. Sounds like another “seemed like a good idea at the time” that didn’t quite hit the mark!

Yes, someone told me about a church that had a small fire because of a short in the electric votive candles that they had installed to avoid fire risk. He was a sacristan at a church (he goes to mine but works as a sacristan at another, NO, church) and he convinced the pastor not to install electric ones since the building’s electrical wiring was so bad it would surely be a greater fire risk than votive candles.

It’s such a ridiculous thing. How many churches have really burned down because of votive candles?

 

[catharina]

Today at the 11am mass in our parish:

1. There was so much talking before mass that the last place it felt like was a church.
2. The 4th graders were processing and leaned their cardboard cutouts against the altar. I thought the 9am mass was for the kiddies?
3. The two servers were in tennis shoes and were completely clueless.
4. Two candlesticks at each side of the altar but only one of each was lit. It mass is not important enough to light all the candles could we at least remove the candlesticks?
5. Cross not veiled, statues not veiled, etc.
6. Two rounds of clapping for the 4th graders.
7. Two big red banners from Fridays nights confirmation on the fence behind the altar. (Fence = the fence between the altar and the area behind it where the tabernacle is.) Maybe it is meant as some kind of memorial to those kids since we will never see them again.
8. No veil for the tabernacle either.
9. Today was psalm 3 day. We alternate between three psalms regardless of what the missalette has as the psalm for the day.
10. Lots of announcements but nothing about us participating in the archdiocesan day of confessions. I guess we aren’t. We’ve got the communal thing happening though.
11. No votive candle either real or battery operated - they left when the altar rail left.

At least there was still holy water and not sand and plenty of EMHC!
Fred

So you conclude that today was annoying for you.
Yet I conclude that today was a joyful blessing for me.

Went to confession, rec’d Reconciliation,
all nice and new and blessed for Easter.

Joyful, glorious, blessed, an abundance of graces!

 

[odile53]

I went to the Tridentine Mass today, and took Mom, who is a cafeteria, tsotchki Catholic–one of those who picks and chooses what she wants to believe, but has a house loaded with religious paraphernalia; a saint statue for every need, you know the type. Mom is in her eighties, and probably isn’t going to change all that much. I doubt she would have taken the initiative to call someone to go to Mass if I hadn’t taken her. Okay, let’s call it a spiritual work of mercy. Fair enough.

The Tridentine Mass was at the shorted-out electric candle parish. We sat mid-nave, as Mom needs a wheelchair nowadays with her arthritic back.

I didn’t think I could actually get annoyed at a Tridentine Mass, but I did.

First of all, Father raced through the Latin. The choir (which was excellent, by the way,) was going to various sung parts with hardly any break at all. I could correlate the priest’s actions with where we were in the Mass—the Consecration happened about one minute after the Offertory chant finished. No way could he have gotten through that much text in that brief a period of time.

Secondly, there was a young family in the pew ahead of me. The kids looked to range from four to eight years old. Perfect angels, except for the four year old, who was by no means distracting in his behavior. When he reached around back of his dad for something on the pew, dad smacked him in the face. Hard. The little guy didn’t even whimper. I had the impression that he was used to it. The two older sisters, as I mentioned before, were perfect angels. Too perfect to be human children. Faced forward the entire time. Hands reverently folded in prayer. I had the distinct impression that if they had deviated from that in the slightest, there would have been hell to pay en route home.

It was difficult for me to help Mom, keep up with what was going on, and not be consumed with concern for those kids in front of me. I almost went to a second Mass because I felt like I hadn’t gone at all.

I can handle disabled elderly people, and priests who are trying to break the land speed record.

But those kids are haunting me.

If you read this, please say a prayer for them. Jesus wanted children to come to Him. Not little automatons.