Toe nail polish and toddlers?

[annannyc]

This is probably a stupid question… but has your dh considered getting primary custody, esp. now as he is remarried?

whoa!

You might want to bare in mind that you are only getting one side of a story here. Based on one side you are judging the mom to perhaps not be the best parent. Remember, it’s usually the parent with the child all week who has to be the strong disciplinarian and often is painted as the “bad guy” to the weekend parent. Plenty of kids love to complain about the other parent.

If my child came back from my husband’s girlfriends’ smelling of cigarette smoke when she was 5, I would have been very snippy about it. If someone even suggested my 11 year wear 3 inch heels (I can hardly walk on 3 inches) and a strappy grown up dress I would also have been upset.

There are obviously much bigger issues here in this family. At a guess, there might well be issues over the dad divorcing the mom, and I can imagine at 5 or 6 it was hard to adapt to dad’s new girlfriend. There may also be issues on being a step mom to a non-ideal step-daughter.

I do apologize that I sound so harsh but whenever someone is able to be so critical of others who cannot defend themselves I find it hard to swallow.

 

[BlestOne]

whoa!

You might want to bare in mind that you are only getting one side of a story here. Based on one side you are judging the mom to perhaps not be the best parent. Remember, it’s usually the parent with the child all week who has to be the strong disciplinarian and often is painted as the “bad guy” to the weekend parent. Plenty of kids love to complain about the other parent.

If my child came back from my husband’s girlfriends’ smelling of cigarette smoke when she was 5, I would have been very snippy about it. If someone even suggested my 11 year wear 3 inch heels (I can hardly walk on 3 inches) and a strappy grown up dress I would also have been upset.

There are obviously much bigger issues here in this family. At a guess, there might well be issues over the dad divorcing the mom, and I can imagine at 5 or 6 it was hard to adapt to dad’s new girlfriend. There may also be issues on being a step mom to a non-ideal step-daughter.

I do apologize that I sound so harsh but whenever someone is able to be so critical of others who cannot defend themselves I find it hard to swallow.

None of what you said was in the spirit of love. You just want to cause scandal. I don’t think you should post if you can’t be truthful or charitable. First of all…GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT!

1. I said 1 inch heels not 3 inch.
2. I said I had 1 cigarette OUTSIDE…there is no way the kid smelled of smoke
3. How do you get that the custodial parent is the diciplinarian from what I wrote…she neglects the child…I had to be the one to do all the diciplining and teaching…hence the comment about teaching her how to walk, wear a bra, wear anti-perspirant etc… these are all things the mom should have addressed.
4. Strappy grown up dress? Where in the world did you get that? As a matter of fact, they weren’t. And, on top of that I altered the dress for her because she only fits in adult sizes and I made the cut more for a child that she is. Before you jump at me with both barrels blasting, you could try reading and asking if anything was unclear.
5. If you had bothered to check other posts you would have seen that I have my own children, and they are all older. I think this qualifies me to know what is appropriate for a child that age.
6. Dad did not divorce mom…mom divorced dad because she got pregnant with her next child from some other guy. There was nowhere in the post that indicated that dad divorced mom.
7. Do the math…If I knew the kid at 5 and she was 11 at the wedding, don’t ya think that 6 yrs of dating is sufficient for kid to get used to me, or for dad to decide if I treat his daughter OK?
8. Issues with being the step-mom of a non ideal child? Oh please! Where does it say my own kids are perfect? They aren’t, and I would be the first one to admit that. What I do have however are standards of behavior in my home. This kid has been around me for 7 yrs now…over half her life. She knows. Besides none of your complaints was about her… it was about my impressions of her mom not being the only side of the story and how somehow my parenting is in question with a non-ideal child…

I think what you are doing is transfering your situation and your feelings into this situation. I don’t appreciate it at all! I have done nothing to merit your scathing remarks. I am a very good mom to all my children…which includes her. Yes, as my step, she is considered one of my own, maybe you don’t like that idea, but, that is the way it is.

 

[BlestOne]

This is probably a stupid question… but has your dh considered getting primary custody, esp. now as he is remarried? Are you a SAHM? That would certainly be a point in his favor.

---

Never mind. this is completely off topic and none of my business. Just sad.

If we had the money we would, but a lawyer would be too expensive right now. This is why we told her that she would have to be the one to ask her mom if she could live with us, her mom would have us in court so fast if we brought it up. We would have to get a new house too, cause ours is very small. Unfortunately, I have never had the choice to be a SAHM. I work about 50-65 hours a week, but it is flexible if I need time to do things with kids. Last guy in my position was the Catholic school wrestling coach and he left everyday at 2:30 during the season. The boss is great about working around schedules, but is still very demanding.

 

[annannyc]

we didn’t choose the 3 inch heels that would have matched better and were great for my DD because it wasn’t good for her. Her dad and I discussed it and he talked to her about learning to walk in 1 inch heels

So the 3 inch heels were your first choice and for your 15 year old too.

I said I had 1 cigarette OUTSIDE…there is no way the kid smelled of smoke

If she smelt of smoke then it wasn’t from you smoking outside.

she neglects the child…I had to be the one to do all the disciplining and teaching…hence the comment about teaching her how to walk, wear a bra, wear anti-perspirant etc…

That’s not discipline, she could walk. I’m not altogether sure a 11 year old needs a bra and antipersperant, perhaps her mother thought she could wait on either or both. I am not a fan of antipersperant, it has chemicals that have been suspected to cause alheimers.

Strappy grown up dress? Where in the world did you get that?

I saw the photo in another thread. It was an adult dress, no question. Spaghetti straps and plunging neckline.

Dad did not divorce mom…mom divorced dad because she got pregnant with her next child from some other guy

.

Well, from your other threads someone got an annulment and someone got a divorce, both are equally hard on 5 year olds. And regardless of who divorced who it’s still stressful on a child.

Do the math…If I knew the kid at 5 and she was 11 at the wedding, don’t ya think that 6 yrs of dating is sufficient for kid to get used to.

Yes, and I would have thought that after that much time you would love her enough not to talk about her the way you did in this thread. To be honest my first impression was that she was an awkward nuisance.

I think what you are doing is transferring your situation and your feelings into this situation

Nope, I have nothing to transfer, just observation.

 

[dulcissima]

Hmmmm…isn’t this a thread about toenail polish and little girls? I don’t think anyone is using this forum to run for President of the United States or even Mother of the Year, so maybe just maybe it is a little bit over the top to be analyzing their every word and searching through their entire history to find evidence useful to criticize them. I mean we are just here giving our non-expert opinions on toenail polish. It’s not a competition or anything. Lighten up.

 

[BlestOne]

Hmmmm…isn’t this a thread about toenail polish and little girls? I don’t think anyone is using this forum to run for President of the United States or even Mother of the Year, so maybe just maybe it is a little bit over the top to be analyzing their every word and searching through their entire history to find evidence useful to criticize them. I mean we are just here giving our non-expert opinions on toenail polish. It’s not a competition or anything. Lighten up.

Dulcissima,
I apologise for reacting to direct attacks on me. I would appreciate returning to the topic at hand as well.

Annanyc,
For some one with a grand total of 10 posts, do you realize 4 are direct attacks on me? Please get over it and leave me alone.

 

[annannyc]

Blest, I don’t appreciate your private messages. Please keep the discussion open. I’m sorry you feel I’m attacking you, I am merely speaking up for the child that was spoken about so harshly and who isn’t here to defend herself or her mother.

 

[Katie1723]

Looks like we have the potential for a good cat fight here.Seems we have strayed way off topic. To the OP…nope…no polish.
Kathy

 

[annannyc]

Yes, I did a very quick look at previous posts (as she did mine) and that was where I saw the dress. And I’m glad I was able to do that because it proved to me that taking just one posters view of things is indeed just one side.

The mother of the step child has been vilified here and even one poster offers the suggestion that custody be taken away from her, all just based on Blest’s’ comments. That is not just ridiculous but dangerous.

 

[BlestOne]

Blest, I don’t appreciate your private messages. Please keep the discussion open. I’m sorry you feel I’m attacking you, I am merely speaking up for the child that was spoken about so harshly and who isn’t here to defend herself or her mother.

Well this discussion is about toenail polish, not for your personal attacks on me. I did what I thought was appropriate considering you are hijacking the thread in your quest to attack my parenting skills. You couldn’t have done just a quick search as you suggested…that post was a year ago…so you went pretty deep into my posts just to attack. BTW…you are now up to 12 posts…and 6 of them are about me… by my count that is 50%. This is over with… No more attacks. You don’t need to defend my step daughter or her mother from me, that isn’t your place, nor do they need defending.

Back on topic… I really think that if dad objects that strongly, you have to respect that. If my husband objected, I think I would have to honor that no matter what I thought. At the same time, I do think it can be a great bonding time for mom and daughter. I don’t think it has anything to do with sex or making a toddler sexy. If mom uses nail polish, chances are the little girl will ask for it at some point. If mom doesn’t use it…then they would of course find a different means to bond with…maybe bubble baths or baking cookies…it is about that time we spend with our daughters doing something we both enjoy that counts.

 

[Brenda_V]

Back on topic… I really think that if dad objects that strongly, you have to respect that. If my husband objected, I think I would have to honor that no matter what I thought. At the same time, I do think it can be a great bonding time for mom and daughter. I don’t think it has anything to do with sex or making a toddler sexy. If mom uses nail polish, chances are the little girl will ask for it at some point. If mom doesn’t use it…then they would of course find a different means to bond with…maybe bubble baths or baking cookies…it is about that time we spend with our daughters doing something we both enjoy that counts.

I agree with BlestOne here.

Brenda V.

 

[annannyc]

You couldn’t have done just a quick search as you suggested…that post was a year ago…so you went pretty deep into my posts just to attack.

Um, sorry but no. I clicked on your public profile, then on threads started by you and the photo was in the 8th thread on page one. I did it because of my guy feeling about your post which was prompted by your comments about people who couldn’t defend themselves here.

A word of advice. If you make your entire personal life public you had better get used to people making comments on what you post, some comments you’ll appreciate some you won’t so you’ll label the commenter as an attacker

I was not attacking you, merely commenting on things you posted, giving another perspective. If you didn’t share your entire life history on a public forum, I couldn’t have commented.

 

[annannyc]

You couldn’t have done just a quick search as you suggested…that post was a year ago…so you went pretty deep into my posts just to attack.

Um, sorry but no. I clicked on your public profile, then on threads started by you and the photo was in the 8th thread on page one. I did it because of my guy feeling about your post which was prompted by your comments about people who couldn’t defend themselves here.

A word of advice. If you make your entire personal life public you had better get used to people making comments on what you post, some comments you’ll appreciate some you won’t so you’ll label the commenter as an attacker

I was not attacking you, merely commenting on things you posted, giving another perspective. If you didn’t share your entire life history on a public forum, I couldn’t have commented.

 

[Mommyof02green]

My Daughter is 4 and I just let her wear nail polish THIS year.

I got her the light semi-clear colors that had some “sparkles”(glitter) in them. My daughter wanted me to change the color every week. So I did. It lasted for 3 weeks then it stopped. Done!

She now DOES NOT want to wear it and does NOT ask to put it on. Now, I’m left with these bottles of nail polish, wondering why did I even buy them. Oh well.

I’m the type NO make-up; No lip gloss until High School, and hubby agrees with me. Although Chap Stick is okay and a must in the cold snowy months of the northern mid-west.

Nail polish was a boarder line… I just asked hubby what he thought and he right away said “NO reds, hot pinks, etc”. I agreed with him on that point, but asked what if it was clear or semi-clear with just some “sparkle” (glitter)?

Hubby said that was fine that those would be “little girl” colors. That’s the point we want our girl to be a “little girl”. Make-up is out of the question, even that stuff geared towards kids. There is no reason for girls to be wearing make-up.

Honestly an 18 month old is not going to sit waiting for the nail polish to dry. I would wait until she was 3-4 year old and express interest in wearing nail polish. Then you can talk to her about the colors, and she would sit for you.

As for it being “dress up”, my kids play dress up all the time… we have old shirt of mine or my hubbies they can wear, old cooking hats, ties, shoes etc. They dress up just fine and do not need or have make-up.

Kids in my opinion don’t need it!!! They don’t need to be “growing up” and they don’t need it for “dress-up”.

 

[gmarie21]

You couldn’t have done just a quick search as you suggested…that post was a year ago…so you went pretty deep into my posts just to attack.

Um, sorry but no. I clicked on your public profile, then on threads started by you and the photo was in the 8th thread on page one. I did it because of my guy feeling about your post which was prompted by your comments about people who couldn’t defend themselves here.

A word of advice. If you make your entire personal life public you had better get used to people making comments on what you post, some comments you’ll appreciate some you won’t so you’ll label the commenter as an attacker

I was not attacking you, merely commenting on things you posted, giving another perspective. If you didn’t share your entire life history on a public forum, I couldn’t have commented.

As a poster interested in the topic at hand, can you two ladies cut it out please. Stay on topic or pm each other. Thank you.

 

[annannyc]

As a poster interested in the topic at hand, can you two ladies cut it out please. Stay on topic or pm each other.

Forgive me. I was sure the opening topic was dead. There is only so much opinion that can be given on a toe nail polish question. For, not for, in between.

 

[Rob_s_Wife]

Honestly an 18 month old is not going to sit waiting for the nail polish to dry.

What 3 - 5 minutes tops? I use the quick dry polish stuff and then the salon spray dryer. Always have for me, so it wasn’t a big lep to doing it for them. Even my 6 month old can be still long enough for those. It’s not a salon pedicure by any means, but they are still quite cute imo. The Revlon brand is the best. The other brands seem to just flack off an hour later.

---

**Girls are different. If they don’t like it - that’s fine too. It’s not like I make my 5 yr old wear it. She does like it. When I was 5, I would have hated it. I still don’t wear nail polish much, but I like to do the toes when I can reach them. **

 

[Mom_of_5]

I have an idea!! If you don’t object to nail polish, use it, if not, don’t. Both parents need to agree. No fighting!!

Amen!

Love and peace
Mom of 5

 

[Mommyof02green]

What 3 - 5 minutes tops? I use the quick dry polish stuff and then the salon spray dryer. Always have for me, so it wasn’t a big lep to doing it for them. Even my 6 month old can be still long enough for those. It’s not a salon pedicure by any means, but they are still quite cute imo. The Revlon brand is the best. The other brands seem to just flack off an hour later.

---

**Girls are different. If they don’t like it - that’s fine too. It’s not like I make my 5 yr old wear it. She does like it. When I was 5, I would have hated it. I still don’t wear nail polish much, but I like to do the toes when I can reach them. **

Mine wouldn’t sit that long and wait at 18 months So I was just going by what I know, based on my little one, of course everyone child is different.

Think back on it, my son at 18 months could of waited those 3-5 minutes at 18 months. However he’s a little boy… so that’s a mute point, and there is NO way I would EVER dream of putting nail polish on him. I guess it just goes to show that every child is different. Some 18 month-olds can sit and others can’t. The only way to determine that is based on each individual child. If your child can sit then maybe it would be okay.

The only thing I worry is the child putting her toes/fingers in her mouth and getting the polish in her mouth. My little one put everything in her mouth, even her toes.

I never suggest that parents make their children wear it. My little girl was asking for nail polish for the last year, she started asking when she was 3. All last year we kept telling her NO, because of her always putting her fingers in her mouth. We told her that if she wanted polish then she would have to stop putting fingers in her mouth. (Of course we told her that after I made sure hubby was fine with it) Luckly she stop putting her toes in her mouth sortly after her 2nd birthday.

I have no clue why she did put her toes in her mouth… I just know that she did we are thankful that she out grew it.

Well earlier this year, at 4 year-old, she finally stopped putting her finger in her mouth. Therefore we went out and bought 3 semi-clear glitter nail polishes. For the first 3 weeks she wanted every color on and do them up…which I did for her, then it stopped.

NOW She doesn’t ask to put it on, the nail polish just sit on the shelf in the bathroom closet and has been sitting there now for the last 8 months. She just doesn’t ask for it. She sees it sitting there every time we get the brush out to brush her hair.

I don’t ask her if she wants it, because I figure if she did she would be asking me for it.

Which brings me to wonder how long can nail polish last? I mean the stuff I have is already 9 months old. She’s only used it the first month we bought it and it’s been sitting there on the self for the last 8 months. Does nail polish have a self-life?

 

[ecp007]

I used to paint my daughter’s toe nails pink when she was 18 months old (I painted her toes while she was sleeping)… and it was just adorable. Whenever anyone noticed it, she would immediately get a lot of positive attention … and she would look at her toes, and mine, and say Mati / Mama Same… so she did want it.

When my daughter was 3, I needed to have a manicure, and didn’t have anyone to leave her with. I brought her with me, and got her nails and feet polished … it was one of the most enjoyable afternoons we have ever had. She just loved it! She was almost crying with emotion, feeling herself such a big girl in the pedicure chair sitting next to her Mama. I’ve only done it again one time since, and if I didn’t have a daughter maybe I would think it was over the top. But, I’m so happy I’ve done this, and so is my daughter.