Too mushy at Peace?

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phil8888

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does anyone think some people get way too mushy at the sign of peace? like they hug and kiss and get all mushy about it. what is your opinion?
 
The sign of peace should be exchange with joy, tempered by sobriety. It should also be brief. Unfortunately, there are those, as listed in the OP, that tend to go overboard.
 
I don’t see too much of “mushiness”, though I do occasionally see it going on too long and have seen people running up and down aisles to hug someone at a pretty good distance away rather than confining it to those adjacent or at least in the same vicinity.

In the level of mushiness though, I probably see more people either not do it at all, or do it with an obvious distast, than I do going overboard in the mushy direction.

“Mushy” though tends to get into one of those “eye of the beholder” areas. I tend to think that people who are naturally exuberant in the way they greet people in general probably go more toward what the OP may be addressing, while those who tend to be more restrained in general probably lean toward a less demonstrative exchange at this also, and would more likely feel uncomfortable with those who are more exuberant.
 
There needs to be more education about the Sign of Peace. Sometimes at my parish during one of the Spanish Masses, children will come into the sanctuary unbidden and try to shake hands with the priest while he is starting the Fraction Rite. I would love for the Church to move it elsewhere, such as before the Offertory as the Anglicans have it, so that the Presence of the Eucharist on the altar is not disrupted. Perhaps the Maronite exchange of peace would be a better substitute, were it allowed in the Roman liturgy.
 
I’ve never seen any of the extremes mentioned here, or anywhere on this board, during the sign of the peace.

Occasionally someone will want to shake my hand, but that’s the extent of it. No one moves from their spot, there is no hugging and no kissing. Usually a nod and either “Peace be with you” or just “peace”. I’ve never heard the response “and also with you” used either.

This isn’t just in my parish, but in every parish that I’ve attended mass in. Guess Australians just aren’t that friendly.
 
Rachel_J said:
I’ve never seen any of the extremes mentioned here, or anywhere on this board, during the sign of the peace.

Occasionally someone will want to shake my hand, but that’s the extent of it. No one moves from their spot, there is no hugging and no kissing. Usually a nod and either “Peace be with you” or just “peace”. I’ve never heard the response “and also with you” used either.

This isn’t just in my parish, but in every parish that I’ve attended mass in. Guess Australians just aren’t that friendly.
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I have actually seen a couple of high-fives, lots of hugs and kisses and people flashing the peace sign. Like my dad told the servers he was training, “I know that there is a trend to go retro, but we aren’t flower children anymore,” when referring to the peace sign.
 
I’m guilty of flashing the peace sign on a few occasions :o See, if there are not too many people attending Mass and no one is within arm’s reach, I thought it was the polite thing to do.

Around here, when couples and good friends attend Mass together, they tend to give each other hugs and kisses during the sign of peace. I don’t see anything wrong with that, but I am also a very affectionate person by nature.

I am indifferent either way. Shake my hand or hug me, it’s all good… make out with me during the Sign of Peace and you draw the line 😛
 
You forgot the option of - nothing. I prefer that the priest extends the Peace of Christ to the people, they offer “and also with you”, and we carry on with Mass. There is no need for people to share - it is totally optional, and most times absolutely disruptive to the prayerful atmosphere of the Mass.

~Liza
 
lizaanne said:
You forgot the option of - nothing. I prefer that the priest extends the Peace of Christ to the people, they offer “and also with you”, and we carry on with Mass. There is no need for people to share - it is totally optional, and most times absolutely disruptive to the prayerful atmosphere of the Mass.

~Liza
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I agree, Liza. I find it distracting myself. I might give my good friend that has been attending mass with me a quick hug, and maybe a handshake to people I know pretty well, but for strangers, I’ll nod my head and smile really big and tell them(everyone, actually) some variation of “The Peace of Christ be with you”. But at the same time, I also don’t like being touched by people I don’t really know.

I have seen this being treated like a social hour, and have overheard people discussing vacation plans and lunch plans… 😦 :mad: There is plenty of time for a social hour after Mass.

God Bless!
Ericka
 
withwind said:
What do we do at the TLM during the sign of Peace?
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The priest offers the Peace of Christ to the people, the people respond “and also with you” (in Latin, of course). Then he turns back to the altar and continues with the rest of the Mass.

Perfect, prayerful, non-intrusive. 👍

Our parish does this at our Novus Ordo Masses as well.

~Liza
 
Nobody has ever touched me during the sign of the peace. People nod their heads or bow here in Korea. It works for me.

I suspect I’m in for some major culture shock the first time I attend Mass in North America.
 
The Priest says peace be with you and we say and also with you.

There is no exchange between parishoners.

I left the parish where people ran up and down the aisles hugging each other etc…
 
Just_wondering said:
Nobody has ever touched me during the sign of the peace. People nod their heads or bow here in Korea. It works for me.

I suspect I’m in for some major culture shock the first time I attend Mass in North America.
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That’s really cool. I was actually wondering that very thing - what do people in Asian cultures do for peace? I was asking my mom if Chinese people bow, or Japanese I guess. So that answers my question. Thanks!
 
UnusFides said:
I love the TLM! 😃
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Amen!! During this time of the year, I hesitate to shake the hands of people who are coughing and croaking and sneezing into their hands. Yet, not to hurt anyone’s feelings I do so and hope I don’t catch what they have. I truly wish we could use other methods of wishing peace to others…maybe a smile and a nod as we say “Peace be with you.” This time of year I keep hoping the priests will say something to that effect.
 
Wow…I guess I’m kind of a heathen LOL

In my parish, people shake hands, hug, and even kiss their spouses. We are all taught that this is the time to “settle disagreements before bringing your offering.” The time to make sure everything is “cool” between you and your brother (or sister) before you take communion as Jesus mentioned in the Gospel of Matthew:

""Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift. "

-Matthew 5:23

It’s a time to shake hands, wish peace, and love, and relationship with one another. When my husband and I were engaged, I was going through RCIA. During one of the ceremonies before Easter Vigil, we were introduced to the bishop. When he heard we were engaged, he pulled us aside and told us that marriage is a hard path, and that we are to embrace the communion table in our marriage. To practice self-sacrifice as christ did every day. We made a rule THAT NIGHT on the way home that while we were married, we would NEVER go to communion still holding grudges or angry with the other. We’ve had a few periods where we were angry, but when we were went to church, we immediately put it aside, kissed (we’re talking QUICK peck here, not an open-mouthed slobber), and took communion. It’s been healing SO many times.

And in our parish, it is not a distraction. Everyone is enthusiastic in greeting one another, even my father in law who is stand-offish and not very social. Our parish really is a tight knit group, IMHO. (Oh, and the “Peace sign” is very often flashed when someone is just out of reach, or if it’s a small child to make them smile.)
 
I guess a hug and a kiss would be ok but only if I’m standing next to a very attractive young woman. Otherwise I try to keep it a little more formal.
 
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