Too Noisy in Church -- Spread This Around

[IrishAm]

I need a little hope or some direction on how to help the uninformed about such matters.

A little tale, possibly apropos of nothing . . .

My mother, who is not Catholic, began attending a new church several years back. It is a very liberal, diverse, Protestant congregation, and people dressed AWFUL when they attended. Young and old, those who had formal roles in the service and those sitting in the pews. It was a mess. (See? It isn’t just us Catholics . . . ) Anyway, my mother always looks like she came out of “central casting.” A little white haired lady who never goes anywhere dressed innapropriately.

So she started attending this service every week, dressed nicely, hair and make-up perfect, wearing heels and stockings and walking with dignity as only a lady of a certain age, and using a cane, can do. She always sits in the back and doesn’t interact a great deal with people (she doesn’t hear well). And every time I would be in town and attend a service with her, I would notice more and more people in the pews, dressing better than they had the last time.

I commented on it recently, and her response was – “I do like to think I served as a good example. I try not to be prideful of it, because I think I’m really just a subversive old lady!”

Maybe we should all make it a point to be “subversive old ladies (and gentlemen)” in our parishes . . .

 

[OhMalley]

Do you find it too noisy in church before, during and after Mass? Spread this saying around, perhaps get it placed in your parish bulletin and it might catch on:

Before Mass, talk to God. During Mass, let God talk to you. After Mass, talk to your neighbor.

At my parish:

Before Mass = talk (loudly) to the same person you were talking to last week.

During Mass = enter zombie zone or see “before Mass”

After Mass = there is no “after Mass.” The parking lot is CLEAR in under 5 minutes and it’s a big lot.

 

[Sr_Sally]

And it’s ridiculous.

Oh I quite agree! I think every child from about age 2 to 20 should have at least 1 nice but plain dress outfit. Something that they can wear to church, to dinner at a fussy older relative’s house, to a funeral if necessary. Doesn’t have to be black, but say plain dark dress pants and shoes and a white collored shirt for a boy (altar boy wear ); a simple skirt and blouse or sweater and closed toed dress shoes for a girl. But it is amazing how difficult it is to find such a thing!

 

[JohnPaul64]

I never intended to post on this forum when I signed up, but I just need to rant (a little…maybe a lot). I love daily Mass because the few folks who attend appear to be there for the “right” reasons. It’s respectful (everyone physically able genuflects reverently when appropriate. puts the kneelers down quietly and turns off their cell phones, etc.). My rant is this: Are priests so afraid that people won’t come to Mass if they enforce some basic rules of dress and etiquette or do they truly not care that folks are so irreverent (and just happy that they are physically there )?

I attended a healing prayer service the other night at a parish that was not my own (mine is fairly wonderful compared to what I experienced at this church!). People were actually answering their phones, arriving REALLY late and LOOKING FOR SEATS DOWN FRONT, flipping their flip flops up and down the aisles, baring their bare shoulders when they moved their big designer hair away, cutting the line for the healing part of the service…I KNOW I sound like a reformed smoker…I’ve been away from the church for 30 years and have joyfully returned a few months ago. What happened since 1980? Are we at least heading back in the right direction? I need a little hope or some direction on how to help the uninformed about such matters. I am learning to block out the distractions–perhaps that is the lesson I needed to learn but it is all so sad to me. Thank you!

Unfortunately these are the times we live in. Last night at church I observed so many disrespectful displays it can really get you down. Over half the people there were wearing shorts and T shirts like they were heading to a picnic or something. People talk out loud before services despite people praying in front of them and the one I hate the most is people leaving early like a couple with a baby walked out just as Communion started and the lady beside me received Communion and walked right out the door. The people who carried the gifts up were in shorts and had there sunglasses perched on their foreheads. This isn’t in just the Catholic church but I’m sure its a national trend. I really wish I could attend more daily masses, I think I get more out of them because the people there really want to be there.

 

[EasterJoy]

I will say that finding dress clothes for pre-teen boys is difficult. Evem just a simple dark pair of dress slacks and shoes was hard to find for my son because he was too big for the little boy clothes but not a men’s size yet. I was shopping in ordinary stores (not uniform stores or very expensive places) and really had to search.

The school clothes at Lands’ End are high quality and reasonably priced, though. You can find oxford shirts and slacks that wash up very well, and even decent dress shoes.

They grow out of them too quickly, this is true, but as a fraction of the typical monthly income, I don’t think they’re more expensive than in our parents’ time…meaning that more people can afford them than buy them these days, but some still can’t afford them.

For girls, though, there are places and years where the fashions are such that you almost have to learn to sew to get what is needed.

You do the best you can.

PS If you get on Lands’ End e-mail list, you’ll find that they occasionally offer free shipping. Also, some Sears stores carry a limited amount of Lands End merchandise, which will allow a good gauge of what sizes you want.

 

[Appleby]

I find it so sad when I see people answering their phones during mass or I’ve seen teens texting…I don’t understand why they go to mass at all…

In my former church that was commonplace; a lot of people gave the impression they came because they were forced to, either by family or by their obligation. They arrived late, so they had to push and shove their way into the midst of people who were participating in the liturgy – usually so they could sit next to early arriving family or friends – spread out their belongings everywhere, realized they didnt have hymnals and shoved their way out the other end of the pew to get a stack of books that they dealt out to other late comers — then whispered, texted, showed off their telephone photos, and kind of flung themselves up and down for the liturgy … blabbered all the way through the homily … and the minute they had their communion and The Mass Is Ended was announced, they were pushing and shoving their way through the people trying to sing the closing hymn, anxious to get the heck out of the place and go play. The people with children who were really disruptive sat in the back; their kids apparently had never been silenced a nanosecond and some actually seemed to be trying to scream down the priest, who had a booming microphone in self defence!

My current congregation (except during First Communion or Confirmation, when pewloads of unchurched barbarians show up to celebrate loudly and inappropriately) enters quietly, steals down to the shrines to light their candles and waits respectfully for anyone praying before moving forward, and sits quietly or kneels in prayer until the service begins. I say my rosary and those special prayers for those the Sisters of Life have asked us to pray, and speak especially to the Blessed Mother about the miserable job I have (beggars cannot be choosers in this current climate and it is not long until retirement). It is easier to pray in silence. I have noticed that at the Latin Rite there are little ones playing in the open space behind the pews, monitored by their parents, and that they do so in silence. It IS possible to teach your children that there are times to be quiet. Their heads will not explode if they have to stop shrieking for an hour or so. Our city is in the middle of a massive city-wide strike that has made people seethingly angry; it is so good to have a place where one can get away from the city noise and bad manners and feel the presence of God.

 

[Caritas11]

Romano Guardini wrote a book entitled “Meditations Before Mass” and the first chapters of this very eloquent and reverent treatment of the subject speak to all that has been posted on this subject.

The book is easily available used in both hardback and paperback.

It is a marvelous resource for all ages and a was a tremendous aid for me when I came back into communion with Holy Mother Church and found a Kulture in place of a Culture.

in Domino,

 

[MrsLeviathan]

I know that little kids are the future of the church, and all… but some of them really need to be lashed to the pews with octopus straps and gagged with football socks. I’m going to elicit eyerolls here, but when I was a kid, and I was taken to church, I knew I was somewhere sacred and behaved accordingly. I sat still, quietly, and listened, even if I didn’t understand everything. In fact, I wish I could recapture that feeling of gravity and respect.

A friend of mine had his kid christened a few months ago. During the preceding mass, his other child tore up and down the aisle, yelling. His trajectory bisected the altar area at one point. He couldn’t understand why people trying to participate in mass were extremely ticked off. This is not atypical behaviour. When people indulge their ill-mannered progeny to the extent that it interrupts mass, I get angry, and being angry is no state in which to participate in mass. I will try to temper my impatience if you make an effort to keep your kids under control.

 

[bacon_man]

That all sounds terrible. When did respect and manners go out the window?

 

[Jokoangel]

Do you find it too noisy in church before, during and after Mass? Spread this saying around, perhaps get it placed in your parish bulletin and it might catch on:

Before Mass, talk to God. During Mass, let God talk to you. After Mass, talk to your neighbor.

****I really like this and plan on using it in the future. I really miss not having the respect for the house of God as it once was. But even in saying this - I also have to point the finger at myself for not being able to focus totally on Our Lord than on those who tend to annoy me. I have to ask, Who am I to judge “the body of Christ?”

 

[Eddie_Mac]

I try to arrive early enough so that I can check my email on my phone and text message my friends that I am meeting after Mass for breakfast.

Eddie Mac

 

[vashsunglasses]

We have signs clipped to the end pews nearest the doors that tell people to be quiet. And before mass everyone does the Divine Mercy Chaplet together so that helps to keep everyone occupied. People still talk, but not too loudly thankfully. Myself I almost never speak to anyone unless that person says something to me. As far as I’m concerned I don’t go to Mass to chat with people. There aren’t many twenty-somethings at my Parish for some reason… so all the older folks love me.

 

[Newbie2]

Seems to me that all these legitimate concerns are for naught if the parish priest doesn’t see a problem. My guess is that there is a “at least they’re coming to mass” train of thought present…

 

[libbybeth]

To introduce a note other than noise in Church, let’s move on to Holy Communion.
Several times recently in our Church I have noticed communicants receiving the Host in their hands and not putting it in their mouths, but walking off with it. In each case, the priest or deacon has stopped the individual, or gone down the aisle after them and made them put it in their mouths properly. With the rise of people abstracting communion hosts for satanic practices, perhaps we should also concentrate on making sure that all communicating Catholics are aware of how to receive Communion properly and how to ingest it immediately without spilling any drops or crumbs, especially when we look at news items showing the disrespect and humiliating practices that are carried out on abstracted Hosts.

Not taking Communion properly is also a lack of respect, but it can have sacrilegious consequences.

 

[pmoo]

Boy is it ever noisy. Once, a family (parents and preteens) whispered throughout the service even during the prayer. Several of us shushed them and finally, when it was time to receive communion, I went to a different seat after receiving. What is the point of going to mass if you are simply going to chatter away.

Now, when I sit in front, I don’t notice the problem except when it’s time to receive the Eucharist. For some reason, people like to chat after, but this is such an important time to focus on having just received Christ; I pray and really concentrate on the moment. A few act as if they are at a picnic!

 

[the_phoenix]

Once while I was on vacation and attending Mass out of town, I found myself sitting next to some very loud middle-aged women chatting it up and socializing in their “outdoor voices.”

So I turned to one of them with a smile and said, “Hi. I’m a visitor here. Do you believe that Jesus is really present in the tabernacle up there?”

“Yes,” came the answer from one of the chatters.

“Then why are you talking?” I asked.

The talking stopped. Immediately.

 

[Appleby]

I know that little kids are the future of the church, and all… but some of them really need to be lashed to the pews with octopus straps and gagged with football socks. I’m going to elicit eyerolls here, but when I was a kid, and I was taken to church, I knew I was somewhere sacred and behaved accordingly. I sat still, quietly, and listened, even if I didn’t understand everything. In fact, I wish I could recapture that feeling of gravity and respect.

A friend of mine had his kid christened a few months ago. During the preceding mass, his other child tore up and down the aisle, yelling. His trajectory bisected the altar area at one point. He couldn’t understand why people trying to participate in mass were extremely ticked off. This is not atypical behaviour. When people indulge their ill-mannered progeny to the extent that it interrupts mass, I get angry, and being angry is no state in which to participate in mass. I will try to temper my impatience if you make an effort to keep your kids under control.

Amen!

And to all you parents who indignantly greet any attempt of others to shush your child with HE IS ONLY A CHILD! – I reply WELL, YOU ARE NOT! If you cannot bring yourself to discipline your toddler at all, what are you going to do when he is 14 and bigger than you are?

And just because your personal universe revolves around your child, do not assume that we all came to Mass,as you apparently did, just to hear your child shout, watch him run up and down the aisles or kick the pew or hit people or grab at us, and most of all we did not come to Mass to dodge the things he throws.

If the future of the church is made up of people who pay absolutely no attention to the Mass, the church is doomed. The next time you are watching your own or other peoples children disrupt the service, think about that.

 

[graceandglory]

The inside of my church, before Mass, is the LAST place I would go to pray. It sounds like an auditorium before the movie begins. Please take it outside people!!

I find this sad. I was away from the Church from 1984-2004 ish. In those twenty years everything changed. I would have never visited with my neighbors before Mass, and now I feel kind of snobbish if I want to genuflect, and pop down the kneeler to pray before Mass. It’s pretty awkward to be kneeling on the kneeler with my head right between two other folks’ conversation, because they are carrying on as if I’m not there.

What should I do???

 

[ML561]

There is a general lowering of standards in dress as well as courtesy. I was astonished to see a woman at Mass recently who spent the entire time texting, not participating at all. Also, so many parents bring snacks, coloring books, toys, etc. to keep the children entertained. I grew up in the Methodist church in the '60’s and 70’s when standards were supposedly more relaxed, but I never saw children at a worship service who were anything but well-behaved. Coloring books and the like were for Sunday school. At my hometown Catholic church there was a “crying room” in the back where parents could take fussy children and still participate in Mass, without disturbing the other parishioners.

Now wait till you hear this! I recently talked to my parents, who are Methodists. During a recent funeral they attended, two ministers were present to officiate. In the middle of the service, one of the ministers actually answered his cell phone and began to carry on a conversation!! My parents were appalled.

I agree, it is terribly rude to ignore the people you are physically in the presence of to talk to people who are not there, unless it is an emergency. It is even more disrespectful to do so in the presence of God, who should have our undivided attention during Mass.

I agree that people should dress modestly at Mass, and this goes not only for women but men as well. I have seen men in shirts that reveal their belly buttons and tank tops. However, we also need to bear in mind that there are those among us who cannot afford “Sunday best” outfits and make do with what they have. There are certain nondenominational Christian churches in my community which require men to wear suits and ties and women to wear dresses. I have been to some of their services and it was like walking into a fashion show. That to me seems somewhat extreme. Peace be with all of you.

 

[pmoo]

There is a general lowering of standards in dress as well as courtesy. I was astonished to see a woman at Mass recently who spent the entire time texting, not participating at all. Also, so many parents bring snacks, coloring books, toys, etc. to keep the children entertained. I grew up in the Methodist church in the '60’s and 70’s when standards were supposedly more relaxed, but I never saw children at a worship service who were anything but well-behaved. Coloring books and the like were for Sunday school. At my hometown Catholic church there was a “crying room” in the back where parents could take fussy children and still participate in Mass, without disturbing the other parishioners.

Now wait till you hear this! I recently talked to my parents, who are Methodists. During a recent funeral they attended, two ministers were present to officiate. In the middle of the service, one of the ministers actually answered his cell phone and began to carry on a conversation!! My parents were appalled.

I agree, it is terribly rude to ignore the people you are physically in the presence of to talk to people who are not there, unless it is an emergency. It is even more disrespectful to do so in the presence of God, who should have our undivided attention during Mass.

I agree that people should dress modestly at Mass, and this goes not only for women but men as well. I have seen men in shirts that reveal their belly buttons and tank tops. However, we also need to bear in mind that there are those among us who cannot afford “Sunday best” outfits and make do with what they have. There are certain nondenominational Christian churches in my community which require men to wear suits and ties and women to wear dresses. I have been to some of their services and it was like walking into a fashion show. That to me seems somewhat extreme. Peace be with all of you.

Speaking of texting, last Easter season, there was a woman texting throughout the entire Stations of the cross. How can one even focus on the season or on Jesus if texting is more important. I had to will myself to look away so I could get back into the moment.