Top Ten Reasons to be Episcopalian

[Ahimsa]

Top Ten Reasons to be an Episcopalian:

1. No matter what you believe, there is at least one Episcopalian out there who agrees with you.
2. Guitar-toting priests
3. We can believe in dinosaurs.
4. The ability to regurgitate scripture is not a requirement.
5. Prayers for various occasions–see supplementary texts
6. Real wine
7. The only Episcopalians on television are politicians.
8. We have the “Rite” to meet your needs.
9. Cardiovascular fitness*
10. Male and female, God created them; male and female, we ordain them.

*sit, kneel, stand, repeat http://images.beliefnet.com/imgs/x.gif

 

[sententia]

Oooookay. I don’t get it?

 

[Ahimsa]

sententia:

Oooookay. I don’t get it?

There’s nothing to get.

 

[Friar_David_O.Carm]

Ahimsa:

There’s nothing to get.

This is very uncharitable and is not even funny.

Is this what one can expect from those who are Hindu?

 

[Della]

As a former member of the ECUSA, I think I have the right to comment on the 10 points.

Ahimsa:

Top Ten Reasons to be an Episcopalian:

1. No matter what you believe, there is at least one Episcopalian out there who agrees with you.

Sadly, yes! And amongst some Catholics too, even sadder yet!

1. Guitar-toting priests.

We’ve got a few of those too!

1. We can believe in dinosaurs.

Same here!

1. The ability to regurgitate scripture is not a requirement.

Thanks heavens, us too!

1. Prayers for various occasions–see supplementary texts.

We had them first!

1. Real wine.

Ditto!

1. The only Episcopalians on television are politicians.

Ha, ha! If only we didn’t have so many “Catholic” politicians!

1. We have the “Rite” to meet your needs.

We had this first, too!

1. Cardiovascular fitness*

Likewise, and yet another steal from us reprehensible Catholics!

1. Male and female, God created them; male and female, we ordain them.

We respect women too much to make them the equals of mere men!

*sit, kneel, stand, repeathttp://images.beliefnet.com/imgs/x.gif

 

[Ahimsa]

ByzCath:

This is very uncharitable and is not even funny.

Is this what one can expect from those who are Hindu?

Which one was uncharitable/not funny? The Top Ten List, or the “There’s nothing to get”?

If the former: the list came from a practicing Episcopalian who thought it was pretty funny. If the latter: well, the list speaks for itself – there’s nothing to “get” beyond the list itself.

I’m just your friendly, neighborhood Hindu.

 

[Friar_David_O.Carm]

Ahimsa:

Which one was uncharitable/not funny? The Top Ten List, or the “There’s nothing to get”?

Both.

I’m just your friendly, neighborhood Hindu.

If this is the Hindu definition of friendly then I thank God even more that I found His True Church.

 

[ahimsaman72]

I thought it was funny - and I’m a pesky protestant!

You have to be able to laugh at yourself. I mean, I hear all kinds of baptist jokes and I think they are hilarious - usually they are about food and fellowship. And I don’t mind - it’s all TRUE!!!

My grandmother grew up Episcopalian and she would love it. I’m going to share it with her. Of course, she loves life and enjoys good humor anyway.

Thanks for sharing Ahimsa!!!

Peace…

 

[Rachel_Malloy]

This thread is now closed.

Thanks for your participation.

 

[Malachi4U]

Ahimsa:

…5. Real wine…
http://images.beliefnet.com/imgs/x.gif

I’ll drink to that! Where do I sign up at?

 

[Jabronie]

Episcopalians kneel?

 

[Mickey]

ahimsaman72:

You have to be able to laugh at yourself. I mean, I hear all kinds of baptist jokes and I think they are hilarious - usually they are about food and fellowship. And I don’t mind - it’s all TRUE!!!

Why should a Catholic always take two baptists on a fishing trip?

Because if you only take one, he’ll drink all your beer!

 

[flameburns623]

Jabronie:

Episcopalians kneel?

Yes. Often on the bare floor in fact. No sissy little pew kneelers for us. We even genuflect, btw. Sign ourselves with the Cross. Strike our breasts. Etcetera.

ByzCath:

This is very uncharitable and is not even funny.

Is this what one can expect from those who are Hindu?

In all fairness, this was clearly an attempt at humor. Rather like the old saw that wherever one finds four Episcopalians, one can always find a Fifth. I understood it and as an Episcopalian am not offended. Thanks for your concern, however.

 

[ahimsaman72]

Mickey:

Why should a Catholic always take two baptists on a fishing trip?

Because if you only take one, he’ll drink all your beer!

:yup:

Yeah, he doesn’t want the other one to know!!!

 

[mercygate]

Harrrumph! As a former Episcopalian, I sternly object to any characterization of clergy as “guitar-toting.” Gag. Choke. Never saw such a thing in 40 years in the Episcopal Church. More likely the guy would be carrying his hand-made harpsichord!

 

[mercygate]

flameburns623:

Yes. Often on the bare floor in fact. No sissy little pew kneelers for us. We even genuflect, btw. Sign ourselves with the Cross. Strike our breasts. Etcetera.

In all fairness, this was clearly an attempt at humor. Rather like the old saw that wherever one finds four Episcopalians, one can always find a Fifth. I understood it and as an Episcopalian am not offended. Thanks for your concern, however.

Don’t forget how many Episcopalians it takes to change a lightbulb: Three: One to change the lightbulb, one to mix the drinks, and one to complain about how much better the old light bulb used to be.

 

[mercygate]

Jabronie:

Episcopalians kneel?

You betcha! And receive Communion on the tongue, kneeling at a communion rail, after having made their confession . . . .

 

[ahimsaman72]

mercygate:

Don’t forget how many Episcopalians it takes to change a lightbulb: Three: One to change the lightbulb, one to mix the drinks, and one to complain about how much better the old light bulb used to be.

:clapping: oh man you’re KILLING me…

somebody should start a thread on all the jokes about denominations they can - but then somebody would get offended and it would eventually close. Oh well…

Peace…

 

[mercygate]

Mind you, we Episcopalians always used to say that if the Church is the Body of Christ, the Episcopalians were the liver.

As a Catholic now, I miss the old self-deprecating humor we always had in the Episcopal Church – actually most of that sweet humor vanished when our struggles grew more serious than how much lace we were going to have on our cottas or which blend of incense should be used at Christmas versus Easter. Sigh.

 

[Jabronie]

mercygate:

You betcha! And receive Communion on the tongue, kneeling at a communion rail, after having made their confession . . . .

mercygate, Can I ask why Angelican sacraments are not considered valid? To my knowledge, they left the Church and became the Church of England. The didn’t take part in the protestant movement, so how did they lost apostalistic succession?