T
Theo2
Guest
Please don’t assume others are not in the state of grace. That is Jesus’ job!
- Status
T
TheAmazingGrace
Guest
Since when is wearing a suit a mortal sin?
Tis_Bearself
Patron
I don’t think she was denied for its being a mortal sin. Given that she is age 9 (edited because article states her age), she may not even fully understand all the ramifications of her outfit.
She was likely denied for not following the prescribed dress code for First Communicants and for her parents (as they presumably control what their kid wears to First Communion) pushing an unwanted agenda at a Church event.
Edited to add, this is the story in question. It’s not even clear that the kid has any sort of gender issue other than she likes to wear pant suits.
Church denies communion to little girl who wanted to wear a suit
With First Communion days away, Chris Mansell posted about her daughter's incident to the Facebook group "Pantsuit Nation" and the story quickly went viral.
www.nbcnews.com
Last edited:
T
TheAmazingGrace
Guest
Right. So why deny her? If the organizers had a problem, they could have talked to her parents after the fact.
Tis_Bearself
Patron
Because it was a Catholic school First Communion, with a dress code.
Anyone who has ever been to Catholic school knows that when they set a rule for something like “dress code”, you follow it or leave.
I suspect that if this was just a family having a private First Communion, they likely could have found a priest who was okay with the white suit, and I would hope that they did, so that the girl could receive the sacrament.
But if you are going to be part of a school First Communion, it’s unlikely that such an exception would be made for one kid.
Anyone who has ever been to Catholic school knows that when they set a rule for something like “dress code”, you follow it or leave.
I suspect that if this was just a family having a private First Communion, they likely could have found a priest who was okay with the white suit, and I would hope that they did, so that the girl could receive the sacrament.
But if you are going to be part of a school First Communion, it’s unlikely that such an exception would be made for one kid.
Last edited:
A
Alex337
Guest
Eh, when I was nine I knew I preferred trousers. I don’t think we can assume it was the parents idea.
Tis_Bearself
Patron
There have been little girls who prefer trousers for decades on end. Most of them didn’t have “gender dysphoria”, they just didn’t like dresses. That didn’t mean they were allowed to wear trousers to their Catholic school class’s First Communion. If such a thing had been allowed, I know quite a few girls who would likely have worn a pantsuit.
The issue is that the parents usually step in and say, “I know you don’t like dresses, Cady, but you’re just going to have to offer it up this time because the school rules say you must wear a dress.” Or else if they don’t like to follow uniform rules, they usually don’t even have their kid in the Catholic school to begin with, so this doesn’t come up.
In this case, the parents instead just went along with the kid’s preference and made a big issue out of it.
The issue is that the parents usually step in and say, “I know you don’t like dresses, Cady, but you’re just going to have to offer it up this time because the school rules say you must wear a dress.” Or else if they don’t like to follow uniform rules, they usually don’t even have their kid in the Catholic school to begin with, so this doesn’t come up.
In this case, the parents instead just went along with the kid’s preference and made a big issue out of it.
B
bobperk
Guest
I didn’t say it was a mortal sin. The policy for the students (this was a Catholic school) was that girls were to wear dresses, and boys were to wear suits.
B
bobperk
Guest
The “girl in a suit” type thing is a product of American / Western democratic tradition, where one feels that his rights and liberties supersede other authority. He does not want is freedom of expression infringed upon by any authority. So it is prideful to go against the teachings of the Church, or even to purposely dress in a manner differently that prescribed by the parish.
T
Theo2
Guest
It is a good thing to learn to follow the rules.
S
steve-b
Guest
Disorder is one thing, acting on it is the issue. Therefore, to your question, when / if a person presents themselves for communion, in mortal sin, the priest or extra ordinary minister, not being mind readers, can’t tell where a person’s soul is. If they are in mortal sin, due to their actions, they are adding sacrilege to their mortal sin.
T
TheAmazingGrace
Guest
By denying a child the sacraments and further disrupting the event?It is a good thing to learn to follow the rules.
Tis_Bearself
Patron
I don’t think the “parish” (unless it’s a traditional Catholic parish) would “prescribe” any sort of outfit for a kid making their First Communion individually with their family.
But when you send your child to a Catholic school, or any private school, you’re expected to follow the school rules. You don’t like it, they will tell you to just withdraw your kid. Or worse yet, kick your kid out.
But when you send your child to a Catholic school, or any private school, you’re expected to follow the school rules. You don’t like it, they will tell you to just withdraw your kid. Or worse yet, kick your kid out.
T
Theo2
Guest
Yes, if that is what it takes.
A
Alex337
Guest
Yeah, as so many would I see no reason to have that rule. The pant suit looked perfectly respectful.
T
TheAmazingGrace
Guest
Takes to what?
Tis_Bearself
Patron
Then you have a choice to NOT send your kid to that particular Catholic school.
Kids are not required to attend such a school in order to receive the Catholic sacraments, and in fact if they are very individualistic kids, it might not even be the best environment for them to be learning in.
Every year we have people pitching a fit over Catholic school did this or Catholic school did that to my kid. It is a private school, it can do what it wants within the bounds of the law (forbidding a certain outfit is not illegal), and if you don’t like it, stop paying your money and send your kid to the public school or to a different private school. I can’t understand why people don’t grasp this basic point.
It’s essentially the same as a high school saying that if you want to walk across the stage to get your diploma, you need to wear a cap and gown and nothing extra. You don’t get to walk across the stage for your diploma wearing a formal evening gown, even if it’s a nice outfit and looks gorgeous on you.
People always want to have some exception just for their kid. It is tiresome.
Last edited:
A
Alex337
Guest
Yeah, I’d never send a child to Catholic school personally. No offence to them but it’s not the way of learning I think would suit. But that doesn’t mean that parents shouldn’t have some say in how these things are done at said school; communication between school and community is integral.
Incidentally my university was very accommodating on the whole cap and gown thing, my high school didn’t do it and just let us wear whatever we liked for graduation.
Incidentally my university was very accommodating on the whole cap and gown thing, my high school didn’t do it and just let us wear whatever we liked for graduation.
B
bobperk
Guest
Yes, in the case I cited above, it was the First Communion Mass for all of the children.
I also disagree with you that parents should seek out special, individual ceremonies for their children to receive the Sacraments in order to fulfill a certain petty desire like wearing a specific outfit. This is definitely a “have it your way” American consumerism mindset, where one can shop around for his or her desires. If it is more important to wear a certain outfit than it is to just humble oneself and wear the required dresscode, then perhaps they should reassess their faith in the Sacraments.
I also disagree with you that parents should seek out special, individual ceremonies for their children to receive the Sacraments in order to fulfill a certain petty desire like wearing a specific outfit. This is definitely a “have it your way” American consumerism mindset, where one can shop around for his or her desires. If it is more important to wear a certain outfit than it is to just humble oneself and wear the required dresscode, then perhaps they should reassess their faith in the Sacraments.
Tis_Bearself
Patron
I’m glad you found schools that suited your needs and personality.
Usually when it is a Catholic school, stuff like the dress code and other rules can be annoying, but it’s a tradeoff for another benefit someone is getting, such as a better education than what the public school is offering, an environment that is less violent, or the ability to receive sacraments without having to go through extra instruction outside of school.
I attended 12 years of Catholic school and dealt with a lot of dress codes. It wasn’t that big of a deal. After school or outside the school event you could wear what you wanted. I wasn’t going to die from having to wear a uniform during the day and in fact it saved me from having to stress a lot about my clothes, which suited my personality better than if I’d had to deal with picking out an outfit for school every day. I had enough fashion angst and arguments with my mom over just the stuff I wore on the weekends without making that into an every day event.
Usually when it is a Catholic school, stuff like the dress code and other rules can be annoying, but it’s a tradeoff for another benefit someone is getting, such as a better education than what the public school is offering, an environment that is less violent, or the ability to receive sacraments without having to go through extra instruction outside of school.
I attended 12 years of Catholic school and dealt with a lot of dress codes. It wasn’t that big of a deal. After school or outside the school event you could wear what you wanted. I wasn’t going to die from having to wear a uniform during the day and in fact it saved me from having to stress a lot about my clothes, which suited my personality better than if I’d had to deal with picking out an outfit for school every day. I had enough fashion angst and arguments with my mom over just the stuff I wore on the weekends without making that into an every day event.
- Status