Transgender friends

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There are three situations I can see arising:
  1. You need to describe the person while not in their presence
  2. You are addressing the person directly
  3. You’re discussing the topic of transgenderism and trying to defend your beliefs
In (1), call them by their preferred so long as it visibly makes sense. The rationale here is, you’re not trying to confuse who you’re talking to or complicate the matter by directly bringing up their transgenderism. For example, if you had a naturally brunette friend who dyed their hair blonde sitting at a table in a restaurant waiting for you, would you tell the hostess to take you to the table with the brunette? No, the most apt description is the table with the blonde woman. With regards to transgenderism, you’re not conceding that the man became a woman if you do this anymore than you’re conceding that your friend is a “natural blonde”.

In (2), I’d refrain from using pronouns.

In (3), I’d use their biological pronoun. Here a concession through the use of the preferred pronoun undermines your defense and does not represent your beliefs accurately (as a Catholic).
 
Tis_Bearself said:
I also don’t have a huge moral problem with transgender people in general; to the extent there may be a moral issue, it’s their moral issue to address for their own personal life, not my moral issue to preach to them about, since I’m not trans and never had any such inclination. I’m just here to behave in a loving and Christlike manner to them, and to me that includes respecting their dignity as a person by calling them by the name they choose to use.
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I don’t know if its dignity, but I don’t know how you get around the communication barrier. Call someone something they don’t want to be called and your chance of evangelization is zero.

People need to do more than just shout about the cathecism, ten commandments or do whatever their Facebook friends command.
 
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I just feel it would be extremely difficult to make myself see a friend I have known for some time as the other gender and act accordingly.
 
I think the difficulty might vary from person to person. If someone I know gets a haircut I will notice but my memory of what their hair looked like will fade quickly and maybe that’s why it’s easier for me to see them as the gender they identify with. I think it depends on the relationship; the more intimate the relationship is the more difficult it will be. Also how frequent one sees the other in person, how intimate the relationship is. It helped that I had photos and looked at them often so when I saw them in person I saw a whole person, a soul, not just gender.

Not sure if this is helpful but when my mom was becoming increasingly disabled and I was seeing the effects of ALS I saw my mom first; the progressive disability was far down the list. A lot of people saw her disability first.
 
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I think I’d still see them as the same person but I guess that’s the problem. On a practical level I would still categorize them as the gender I knew them as, for example if I was arranging a female only event.
 
If they are your friends, you call them by their preferred name. It does not go against G-d to do so, but it does go against G-d to be uncharitable. I am in this position with a few students in my classes who are transgender. Of course in the workplace it is a trickier situation, legally speaking. But regardless of this fact, I simply call them by the name they prefer.
 
Calling a friend by their preferred name and having respect for their gender identity is not exactly “the tiniest thing.” However, I somewhat agree with you that in other areas, the PC universe has gotten out of control.
 
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