Ok, so I’m confused as to what the difference is between these two. Transexual, transgender, transvestite, cross-dresser, drag-queen, drag-king… what do all these mean?
You’ll find there is some disagreement over the exact meanings of any words which define an identity, including the ones you cite. But I think these definitions are pretty good: They were complied by the Sexual Minority Youth Assistance League, with help from from a lot of knowledgeable people.
Cross-Dressing (Also Transvestite, Transvestitism): A person who wears the clothing considered typical for another gender on occasion, but does not desire to change their gender. Reasons for cross-dressing can range from a need to express a feminine or masculine side to attainment of erotic/sexual/fetish gratification. Cross-dressers can be of any sexual orientation, but within this community, there is a large percentage of heterosexually/straight-identified individuals.
Drag (also Drag King, Drag Queen, Female/Male Impersonator): Wearing the clothing of another gender, often with exaggerated cultural/stereotypical gender characteristics. Individuals may identify as Drag Kings (female in drag) or Drag Queens (male in drag). Drag often refers to dressing for functional purposes such as entertainment/performance or social gatherings. Drag has held a significant place in GLBT history and community.
Trans (also Transgender): Those who transgress societal gender norms; often used as an umbrella term to mean those who defy rigid, bipolar gender constructions, and who express or present a breaking and/or blurring of cultural/stereotypical gender roles. This includes: androgynes, cross-dressers, gender-benders, intersexed individuals, shape-shifters, transvestites, and transsexuals.
Transsexual (also Female-to-Male (FTM/F2M), Male-to-Female (MTF/M2F), Pre-Operative, Post-Operative, Non-Operative): A person who, through experiencing an intense long-term discomfort resulting from feeling the inappropriateness of their assigned gender at birth and discomfort of their body, adapts their gender role and body in order to reflect and be congruent with their gender identity. This may include cross-living, synthesized sex hormones, surgery and other body modification which may or may not lead to the feeling of harmony between a person’s body and gender identity.
There are lot more definitions at the SMYAL site, but I don’t want to overwhelm you. Still, here is the link in case you want to learn more.
banyancounselingcenter.com/tsterminology.html
I would note that the definitions were compiled in the late 90s, so some of them are out of fashion e.g. transgenderist or shape-shifter.