Trouble finding a practicing wife

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Hoosier_Daddy said:
That the two of these posters should get together and start a mail order bride business?
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I’ve watched several news documentaries over the years that dealt with mail order brides and in almost all cases the men wanted “old fashioned”, circa 1860 type marriages where they were the boss. They did not want women who had their own opinions or even could support themselves so that their wives would depend upon them. Creepy, just plain creepy.:eek:
 
1ke said:
Do you attend a parish or a Newman Center? Many college age young people will be found at the Newman Center near/on campus rather than a parish in the community.

I can suggest the Newman Center. Beyond that, perhaps an online site such as Ave Maria Singles. That’s where I met my husband.
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Most Newman Centers are terrible for dating. They are often horribly cliquish and some outright ban attendees from dating each other.
 
Jan_Pawel_II said:
Hi everyone,

I’m currently a college student (21 years old) that’s on track to becoming a doctor. I’ve been a practicing Catholic my entire life and I feel like the vocation of marriage is what I should be pursuing. The problem is, I have trouble meeting practicing Catholic women. I’m friends with quite a few cultural Catholics that I could easily date, but I feel like that could lead me down the path of sin.

Whenever I attend mass, it’s also hard to meet people. Usually everyone runs out right after the mass ends. There’s a youth group in the parish I attend, but it’s mostly filled with younger teenagers (13-17 years old).

What should I do? Are there any prayers specific for finding a spouse?

Thank you and God bless. :highprayer:
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Hey I’m a soon to be MS3 so congrats on choosing the path to be a physician. It can be challenging but is definitely worth it.

For the subject of dating and finding/discerning a spouse (I’m celibate so please take this with a grain of salt), but at 21, maybe pray for patience and for God to lead you in the right direction. From my own experiences, a good portion of my classmates have gotten engaged during medical school since school has a tendency to kinda push back family plans (the costs and time commitment for school can be quite challenging especially since sometimes loans do not cover dependents and there simply isn’t really a possiblity to work during medical school). It isn’t impossible, but it can be a challenge (a few classmates were married coming into school).

So unless you are in a BS/MD accelerated track program or something, getting into medical school is a challenge in of itself. So I would recommend focusing on school, being involved in your local parish and if your campus has one, a Newman Ministry. With this be open to the possibility of meeting a woman to date and discern marriage with. But also be open to the possibility that God’s answer to your prayers may be ‘not yet.’
 
ToeInTheWater said:
Now, as a woman I’d find such an ultimatum to be quite controlling and intolerable. Not because of the principle, but the sentiment, that the man in a relationship can make all the decisions with no room for discussion, as a matter of course. But I guess some women would like that kind of relationship.
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Nobody owers premarital sex to anybody, and even the way in which spouses owe sexual intercourse to each other is less direct and less literal. There is nothing of the ultimatum kind in simply telling your romantic interest that you, yourself, will not have sex with someone you aren’t married to.

Ultimatum is when you say: convert or I’ll leave you; or have sex with me or I’ll leave you. But when you don’t want to engage in something, like premarital sex, that’s not an ultimatum.
 
Re: finding a practising wife, that’s not difficult.

What’s difficult is finding a woman who is:

attractive to you,
attracted to you, and
practising

all at the same time. Combining any two is not particularly difficult, but finding all three in one person is. With apologies for being a little on the blunt side, the question is whether to keep looking and risk not finding anyone or settle and risk ending up in not as good a marriage as you could have or even outright bad marriage, or… meeting someone who does combine all three requirements when you are already married to someone else.

Extremes tend to be bad. For example it’s certainly possible to just be too picky and be a stubborn idiot about something that doesn’t matter. On the other hand, it’s also possible to be a hot-headed idiot and jump in head first and cripple yourself. However, where exactly your balance is (the sweet spot or whatever we call it) is a very personal, subjective matter.

Also, on second thought, yeah, the pool isn’t particularly spectacular these days, after all. Women are different these days. The problem is, so are we.
 
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