Trying to Find a Catholic Community

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Dorothy Day was such an inspiration. To turn her life around like she did and found such an important and influential organization. Pray for her cause.
 
Yeah, that sounds good. I’m going to look into them as well. I’m not really looking for a community for people with SSA. I mean… well, I don’t know how to say. But, it would be difficult to have a community like that and it not be a near occasion of sin. I know some people have criticized the Courage Conferences for that reason. “You’re going to send 1,000 same-sex attracted people to a conference, and they’re all going to be staying where? hotels?” … as one Courage member said.

Yeah, I just need to go somewhere to become more holy. And God willing, I might be able to start my ideal community. But, I am like a baby that craves spiritual milk, and perhaps am not ready for solid food…

Edit: Yeah, again, I’ve never said I wanted to find an “LGBT only community”. Someone rather rudely insinuited as much in a message to me. I just want to find any Catholic lay community. I would hope that those places would be able to help me with the issues I have. I would hope a Catholic community could help anyone regardless of what their specific problems are.
 
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I’m sorry you are at such a low point, it’s hard being a lone Catholic. I think parishes try to have communities, it’s just they don’t always work for everyone.

I would recommend a conversation with someone knowledgeable about vocations before considering a long distance move though, or taking a trip first.
 
We Catholics help each other get to heaven 🙂 What you crave is what we are designed for.
Fets said:
. I know some people have criticized the Courage Conferences for that reason. “You’re going to send 1,000 same-sex attracted people to a conference, and they’re all going to be staying where? hotels?” … as one Courage member said.
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To assume that people with SSA are somehow unable to control themselves because they are staying in hotels, makes me want to shout. Heck, I guess no conferences should take place because people stay in hotels, you never know, the next Catholic Singles or Catholic Writers or Catholic Marketing conference should not happen because hotels 😉 Don’t even think about a Catholic Answers cruise 🙂
 
From my organization’s “UK office” (UK discerner who’s been with us for a very long time):
  1. Find a spiritual director
  2. Explore Catholic secular institutes and lay associations with a rule of life
  3. Fraternity that belongs to and is supported by a religious order
Apart from Opus Dei (who do have houses for singles who live together) there is also:

Verbum Dei
The Spiritual Family The Work
Cor et Lumen Christi
Focolare
Chemin Neuf Community
All of whom have options for single people.

Directory of International Associations of the Faithful:

Directory of International Associations of the Faithful - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org en.wikipedia.org

She hopes Fets finds what he’s looking for.
 
Fets said:
Are there actually any lay communities at all? That I can live in and work in?
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I’m not sure what you mean by ‘lay’ communities. The laity participate in ministries but don’t form official ‘communities’ where people eat, sleep, and work together. Religious orders form communities. There are religious orders where the laity can join as a 3rd order but a lay person has a separate residence and works in a regular job.

You have many options to join lay ministries. You can also share living space with roommates. You might even find roommates interested in the same ministries you are interested in.

Pray that the Lord puts you where he wants you to be and less on where you think you need to be. Simplify your life and focus on your mental health, your job and your prayer life. Join a club or social group to make friends. Volunteer at a nursing home or retirement center.
 
I’m a little confused. I’m not trying to be insensitive to your situation, which i understand is difficult. But I don’t understand why the only options are “live in community” and “be an island” in your words. It’s perfectly reasonable for someone who lives alone to have an active social life. Do you think you’re just fundamentally incapable of being self-sufficient? Why are you isolating yourself so much?

If you’re not working, why not? Are you receiving treatment for your depression?

I’m not trying to poo poo the community idea, it just sounds like you’re thinking of it as kind of a cure-all for some unrelated issues like depression, anxiety and a sense of purposelessness.
 
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vsedriver said:
The laity participate in ministries but don’t form official ‘communities’ where people eat, sleep, and work together.
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The laity do form such communities. Several have been listed in this thread (the best known one being Opus Dei) …
 
I’ve written a reply to you, but it needs to be approved apparently. In a nutshell, I was saying that I’m basically forced to find a replacement for a family because I can’t have one. That’s the thing about being an LGBT Catholic, you can’t really compare us to other single people in the Church, because it is different to say “This person is single right now, and these people must be single their entire lives”. Because that is true. I would assume many singles in the Church are open to starting a relationship, or would like to, maybe they go to singles events for those purposes. Its very different to say, that I can never do that.

Like, maybe single life is where those people are at in their lives, and maybe they’ll be single for like 5 or 10 years and then get in a relationship. That’s quite different than telling someone who’s 26 that the single life is great and is definitely going to work out for me for the rest of my life. [Which btw, plenty of Catholics on here and elsewhere argue about whether the single life even is a vocation]. I’m sure y’all have seen those threads, if not, they’re on here. Certainly.
 
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No, I do understand that you being gay means you can’t really have a licit intimate relationship. Which I’m sure is a horribly heavy cross, and I’m sorry.

But I don’t get why that means you can’t have an active social life. Like, you don’t need to live in a group home to have friends.

I just think if you get your depression and social anxiety under control, your career troubles and social isolation would be easier to tackle.
 
BoomBoomMancini said:
I just think if you get your depression and social anxiety under control, your career troubles and social isolation would be easier to tackle.
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BoomBoom brings up a good point. All of these communities have a Lay ministry component to them. I’d imagine that trying to be in ministry while struggling with unmanaged depression and anxiety would be difficult.

Are you seeking spiritual and psychological treatment for your depression and anxiety?
 
Just because one is single doesnt mean that you have to be a recluse. I am single never been married and have a very active social life. I do things with people from my parish I even have lunch sometimes with my best friend who is married but her husband comes first and I sometimes participate in the activities here at the retirement apartment complex that I live in oh and by the way I am 53 years old I had to go on total disability.
 
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I’m wondering if there isn’t somewhere where you could find demographics on where in your area the most Catholics are located. Could that be Googled or looked up some way?

I feel lucky. We moved here four years ago, and then I realized that I was in the middle of a very high concentration of Catholics. Yaaayyy!!! There must be many communities that have a high percentage of Catholics. Wish I could tell you how to find them. God bless you in your search.
 
Hi,
Below is a link that might be a sort of catholic community “online”. It’s geared to younger adults. It’s catholic and I think speaks more in the language of a college age group so more in tune with the times without deviating from true catholic teaching. Also, the main thing about it is, that it speaks to a specific community; those experiencing SSA. I don’t remember how I found it, only at the time I was looking for answers for my SSA daughter, trying to understand her…ect. Anyways, I hope this might be of some kind of help for you, although it isn’t a physical community you might find some kind of value in it for you. Good luck and God Bless!
Debbie

https://www.edeninvitation.com/blog
 
Building a social life can be hard to impossible. My social life died after graduating university and is only starting to come back after having a baby. I tried loads of things to resurrect my social life in the time in between and nothing worked.

Sometimes your face doesn’t fit in a parish or you are the wrong sort of person. In some parishes people stick with their own families or the parents of their kids friends and a single childless person doesn’t fit into this.
 
It makes me depressed when I’m at home alone at night. What do you mean by a “licit intimate relationship”?
I would like to not eat my meals alone and not have to watch tv alone at night. Really, I wouldn’t mind living with a bunch of monks in a community, but I just need to find something close to that as a lay person. Because, as has been referenced, the Pope said that ANYONE with these tendencies should not be admitted to religious life.

I don’t want to live as an individual. I despise individualism. Living by myself is individualism. Everyone in the Church seems to think that capitalism is the cure for all of our woes. My depression and isolation wasn’t any better when I worked a full time job. All I did was work, then go home. I had no one in my life until I met my boyfriend. I worked there for 2 years, and I made 2 friends at work. And I never hung out with them. So, you know, we’ll see. Hopefully I get a job soon, and if my troubles still persist, what do I get, do I get to say “I told you so”.

A shorter response to that would be, maybe you’re wrong.
 
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