I was raised a Catholic (more or less) went to Catholic school etc. However, I have not been a practicing Catholic for years. Lately I have been inspired by (a certain guest the radio program is having in the near future). I’m pretty resistant and rebellious and have clinical or major depression or whatever. I thought going back to mass etc - becoming more spiritual would help. Well, I think after today again, this world pretty much (Edited)-more bad than good happens. How good anybody have faith in this world-the way it is today? Believe me I have heard all the rationalizations.
You know, it really can feel that way. And in a lot of ways, it’s true that more bad than good happens. But at the end of a day like today (and I assume you’re talking about Connecticut), we need to stop and take a breath, and then really look at the world and ourselves.
The fisrt thing to remember is that God did not make or will the bad things to happen. Sinful, evil, sick people did. There has always been evil in the world that we have known. The human family, despite being “very Good” in God’s eyes, and being the object of His love, has done a fairly poor job of reciprocating that love sometimes. Today is a glaring example of that. For my own part (and I, for the record am a young man, unmarried, with no choldren of my own) am sick over it. There is physical pain in my heart over it, as though there is a gaping hole inside me right now. There is a part of my mind that says, “This is too terrible. It’s too much.”
But then I remember why I am feeling this pain. It’s because of the empathy and the compassion that God has blessed me with. This is not suffering that I feel because of myself, but rather on behalf of those whose lives have been utterly shattered today. And I know that the horrifying ugliness that I feel in my heart right now is a gift from God.
What remindeds me of this is the crucifix that hangs on my bedroom wall. The whole of God’s mercy reaches a fever pitch right there, in Jesus Christ crucified. Jesus willingly underwent the pain of the Cross–pain and suffering which is utterly unimaginable to a great many people–so that the bonds of sin and death might be broken. And it worked. He did it! We tend to forget this when we cast about for answers to the problems with our lives that vex us the most–namely today, why was such terror unleashed on children?–but Jesus is not simply one good spiritual philosopher whose teachings and influence merit equal weight with any other philosophy or spiritual tradition. Everything in our lives as Christians centers around who Jesus is, and Jesus, in His words, is the Ressurection and the Life.
My ability to have faith lies right here, in all of this. Now, I may not have articulated it properly tonight, as I myself am in a somewhat dark place. But it will get better.
Right underneath the crucifix in my bedroom is an icon of the Ressurection. I think that epitomizes it for me. Yes, there is sin and evil in the world and yes, it can rip our lives to shreds sometimes. But in order for us to be able to put our lives back together, God became Incarnate, and He became sin on the Cross, to die for us, so that we may live.
