Turning the Other Cheek & High School Bullying

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I know a boy in high school who is the object of bullying. He thinks Christianity’s “turn the other cheek” ethic is impractical and unrealistic; if he behaved that way it would just make the bullying worse.

I don’t really know how to answer this objection. Any suggestions?
 
In most cases if you ignore the “bully” they will eventually leave you alone…since they are not getting a rise out of you etc.
ALso may i suggest that this boy speak to the prinsicpal or a teacher and advise them of the situation…would not want another Columbine on our hands!
 
A few comments from a high school teacher (myself)…

Informing the principal isn’t always the best idea. Most bullies are just phenomenally insecure. They *want * attention, and they want to know that their words are powerful, so informing the principal is often giving them just what they want.

The answer varies from case to case, but the most important thing here is self-confidence. Bullying doesn’t work on people with confidence – the bullies end up looking foolish. When that boy knows that he is valuable, that he is a son of the living God, that his value is not a matter of other people’s responses to him – then no bully can touch him.

He can turn the other cheek, but only if he knows how priceless he is. Fighting back is what bullies want. Why not punish them with self-respect, instead?
 
A few comments from a high school teacher (myself)…

Informing the principal isn’t always the best idea. Most bullies are just phenomenally insecure. They *want *attention, and they want to know that their words are powerful, so informing the principal is often giving them just what they want.
dont most schools now have anti-bullying rules…I know my sons schools do and if you are found guilty you are expelled!
 
I heard an interesting take on the whole “turn the other cheek” once. This is kind of hard to describe in text, but picture two men facing each other. In the time of the writting of the gospels, it was custom to hit a slave or someone you had no respect for with the back of your hand, while in a fair fight with someone you considered an equal, you would use a closed fist. Now picture how each hit would look.

Therefore, I have heard that “turn the other cheek” does not neccessarily mean just let them hurt you again. It can also mean to force the other person to treat you like an equal. I mention this, because of the earlier post recomending self confidence. I think that these two parts go together nicely. Not sure how much it helps the original poster, but I hope it can lend some advise.
 
dont most schools now have anti-bullying rules…I know my sons schools do and if you are found guilty you are expelled!
Why expel someone for bullying? Why not teach them not to bully?

Schools are not for weeding out “bad” students. 😦
 
Why expel someone for bullying? Why not teach them not to bully?

Schools are not for weeding out “bad” students. 😦
Well IMHO schools that I pay tuition for, should be allowed to weed out students…either you are up to the standard set or your not!
The kids are expelled for many reasons…bullying being one of them …they are expelled beacuase that is not allowed and not tolerated in the school, the school has a 0% policy regarding bullying…I think it is a wonderful idea!👍
 
Well IMHO schools that I pay tuition for, should be allowed to weed out students…either you are up to the standard set or your not!
The kids are expelled for many reasons…bullying being one of them …they are expelled beacuase that is not allowed and not tolerated in the school, the school has a 0% policy regarding bullying…I think it is a wonderful idea!👍
I’m not trying to say that bullying is acceptable, at all. But I would say that “zero tolerance” policies in high school might apply to rape or murder, but ought not apply to things like bullying. Many bullies may have more potential to build God’s kingdom than quieter kids, if only they were directed by a wise and godly leader.

If we start kicking out kids for the first time they bully someone else, I think we ought to kick out other kids for being too shy. After all, sins of omission are just as sinful as sins of commission.
 
Why expel someone for bullying? Why not teach them not to bully?

Schools are not for weeding out “bad” students. 😦
What? Bullying can take severe forms if left unpunished. Can also emotionally impact the bullied child.

No child should have to go to school daily and be subjected to a bully. Would you expect to go to work everyday and encounter the daily bully? You’d march your butt square down to the HR dept and chat it up. My children are entitled to the same respect - though the HR dept happens to be the teacher or principal.

I love the zero tolerance policy.

I have had my son ( grade 3 ) bullied by other 3rd graders. Horrible that this behavior started at such a young age. The teacher handled the situation perfectly.
 
I’m not trying to say that bullying is acceptable, at all. But I would say that “zero tolerance” policies in high school might apply to rape or murder, but ought not apply to things like bullying. Many bullies may have more potential to build God’s kingdom than quieter kids, if only they were directed by a wise and godly leader.

If we start kicking out kids for the first time they bully someone else, I think we ought to kick out other kids for being too shy. After all, sins of omission are just as sinful as sins of commission.
Well…this is where you and I will have to respectfully disagree. I find the schools policy totally acceptable!
I would not want a bully being allowed to remain in school to perhaps drive another student over the edge where they bring a gun to school and start killing others…
Once expelled the PARENTS can get treatment if they desire for the child…
 
. Many bullies may have more potential to build God’s kingdom than quieter kids, if only they were directed by a wise and godly leader.
And again…hmmm. You are saying that bullies are actually nicer people than the quiet child?
What about quiet prayerful cloistered people who practice contemplative prayer? That takes a quiet form. Do those quiet people have less potential?
I’m gonna have to think hard on that logic as it relates to shy children and bullies.
 
I know a boy in high school who is the object of bullying. He thinks Christianity’s “turn the other cheek” ethic is impractical and unrealistic; if he behaved that way it would just make the bullying worse.

I don’t really know how to answer this objection. Any suggestions?
If he was my son, I would tell him to turn the other cheek. The bully isn’t worth even thinking about. If the boy wants to learn ways of fighting back he needs to be taught some and the parent is resonsible for getting that done. It will only help him to know how to defend himself even if he doesn’t use it. I also would be all over the administration at the school. There is a chance that would backfire in some ways, but they need to know and they need to know we don’t like it. A lot of our children’s lives are spent in schools and the schools have to take on the responsiblity for our children’s safety while they have them under their care.
 
Why expel someone for bullying? Why not teach them not to bully?

Schools are not for weeding out “bad” students. 😦
Well, bullies sometimes don’t stop at bullying other children. I have known many kids who were “troubled” and if a teacher was tough on them (challenging them or giving them a zero b/c they didn’t do their work) the student would call (and tell the higher ups inthe school as well as their peers) the teacher a racist, sexist, pervert, or would say that the teacher touched them inappropriately (if the teacher touched them on the shoulder so that they would sit down and discontinue being disruptive) or said something inappropriate to the student (by calling the student “honey” or “dear” or “sweetheart” as many do of a certain generation). So, a kid that is nasty b/c s/he’s having a bad day is one thing, a kid who seems to have a lot of bad days and physically and/or emotionally beats up on and/or manipulates another student or a teacher to get his/her way (or so that the bad shadow is no longer cast on them) needs special attention that most private schools and many public schools are not equiped to handel. If the parents aren’t getting their children help, then the school has every right to expel the student. I believe private schools tolerate a lot more than public schools (at least in my experience).
 
Well, bullies sometimes don’t stop at bullying other children. I have known many kids who were “troubled” and if a teacher was tough on them (challenging them or giving them a zero b/c they didn’t do their work) the student would call (and tell the higher ups inthe school as well as their peers) the teacher a racist, sexist, pervert, or would say that the teacher touched them inappropriately (if the teacher touched them on the shoulder so that they would sit down and discontinue being disruptive) or said something inappropriate to the student (by calling the student “honey” or “dear” or “sweetheart” as many do of a certain generation). So, a kid that is nasty b/c s/he’s having a bad day is one thing, a kid who seems to have a lot of bad days and physically and/or emotionally beats up on and/or manipulates another student or a teacher to get his/her way (or so that the bad shadow is no longer cast on them) needs special attention that most private schools and many public schools are not equiped to handel. If the parents aren’t getting their children help, then the school has every right to expel the student. I believe private schools tolerate a lot more than public schools (at least in my experience).
Actually I think you have it backwards…most private schools tolerate less than the public schools. Public schools HAVE to take your kids private schools dont.
 
Why expel someone for bullying? Why not teach them not to bully?

Of course teaching a bully to reform is better: but what of cases in which a bully refuses to quit, in spite of repeated attempts to teach them better behavior? Are we to allow them to go on tormenting the other students forever?

Schools are not for weeding out “bad” students. 😦
**Schools are not for weeding out anyone. Schools are for teaching children. How well can a student learn, if some bully is making his life a misery?

**
I’m not trying to say that bullying is acceptable, at all.

I don’t think anyone accuses you of saying that, Prodigal Son. But neither do I see anyone saying that bullies should be mercilessly expelled on the first offence.

But I would say that “zero tolerance” policies in high school might apply to rape or murder, but ought not apply to things like bullying.

I don’t think anyone has tried to equate bullying with rape or murder.

Many bullies may have more potential to build God’s kingdom than quieter kids, if only they were directed by a wise and godly leader.

Perhaps. What has that to do with the issue being discussed? Nobody in this thread to date has suggested that bullies are worthless or irredeemable.

If we start kicking out kids for the first time they bully someone else,

I don’t see anyone advocating expulsion for a first offence.

think we ought to kick out other kids for being too shy. After all, sins of omission are just as sinful as sins of commission.

**Since when has shyness been considered sinful? **
.
 
Actually I think you have it backwards…most private schools tolerate less than the public schools. Public schools HAVE to take your kids private schools dont.
Maybe its just the inner city private schools I’ve dealt with then that seem to have a high tolerance level (and have accepted kids who were expelled from their public school)
 
I’m not trying to say that bullying is acceptable, at all. But I would say that “zero tolerance” policies in high school might apply to rape or murder, but ought not apply to things like bullying. Many bullies may have more potential to build God’s kingdom than quieter kids, if only they were directed by a wise and godly leader.

If we start kicking out kids for the first time they bully someone else, I think we ought to kick out other kids for being too shy. After all, sins of omission are just as sinful as sins of commission.
What a horrible thing to say. I was/still somewhat am a “shy” person; I was bullied tremendously back in junior high, to the point where I was almost truant because I didn’t want to go to school and be bullied all day long. Now, what happened to these kids in the Catholic school that I went to? Absolutely nothing. They never got in trouble, and it was seen as MY problem (they suggested that I needed counseling to deal with it).

No, maybe kicking kids out of school the first time they bully is not the way to solve the problem, but you cannot accuse shy kids of being guilty of sins of omission. Ridiculous.
 
What a horrible thing to say. I was/still somewhat am a “shy” person; I was bullied tremendously back in junior high, to the point where I was almost truant because I didn’t want to go to school and be bullied all day long. Now, what happened to these kids in the Catholic school that I went to? Absolutely nothing. They never got in trouble, and it was seen as MY problem (they suggested that I needed counseling to deal with it).

No, maybe kicking kids out of school the first time they bully is not the way to solve the problem, but you cannot accuse shy kids of being guilty of sins of omission. Ridiculous.
How is it a horrible thing to say? Sometimes being shy (that is, not doing some good that involves speaking) is sinful. I was very shy in high school, and I consider my shyness rooted in my own self-centeredness and sin. We’re all sinners.

I’m just saying that we ought to love the sinner, and we ought to teach our children to do the same.

“All that is required for evil to prevail is for good men to do nothing.” - Edmund Burke

Reepicheep said:
I don’t see anyone advocating expulsion for a first offence.
Isn’t that what zero-tolerance means? I agree that a student who has proved himself an inveritable bully ought to be expelled. But “zero-tolerance” seems to be saying much more.
 
Isn’t that what zero-tolerance means? I agree that a student who has proved himself an inveritable bully ought to be expelled. But “zero-tolerance” seems to be saying much more.
Yeah “zero tolerance” says WE WILL NOT TOLERATE this behaviour! Why is that such a hard concept to understand? YOur telling me a highschool age childs parents “never” knew that their kid had a bullying problem/issue? They had ample time, chances to seek treatment for their kid, IMHO, and I dont think that my kid or his classmates (highschoolers) should have to suffer with a bully more than once!
 
I’m just saying that we ought to love the sinner, and we ought to teach our children to do the same.
Loving the sinner has nothing to do with not punishing them. Sometimes that is how we will love them best. Spare the rod, spoil the child kind of thinking.
Maybe the punishment will ultimately be the deterrent those children need to turn their behavior around.

It is not the shy child that needs to be admonished here - it it the bully that needs some Christian teaching - love thy neighbor kind-of teaching.

Innocent children do not need to be the whipping post for some bully.
As a parent, I demand a safe school environment for my children. That does not only mean safe from weapons, but it also includes bullies.
 
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