Turns out I was wrong all together..divorce

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Thank you for taking the time to come here and share your story. It is heart breaking to read about your situation, I am sorry that you have to live under the same roof that sounds awful.

I am praying for you, for consolation for your soul. I will also pray for your wife, leaving her husband and the Catholic church at the same time she is throwing away her soul. It sounds like she has a pattern of deception this is not good for her and is not God’s plan for her life. In the meantime you are devastated and left to pick up the pieces.

This may sound silly, but take care of yourself physically, try and get LOTS of sleep, drink lots of water, eat soup and comforting foods. Treat your body as if you have the flu or an illness because a broken heart can devastate the body physically. If you recognize that you need extra care and rest it can help, not a lot but a little anyway. Please be assured of my prayers.
It’s odd, I can’t manage to sleep at all or eat. I’ve slept and eaten once in three days.
 
So sorry to hear this, Jay. Praying for healing and strength.

God Bless you.
 
It’s odd, I can’t manage to sleep at all or eat. I’ve slept and eaten once in three days.
I know that feeling. Times of extreme stress can do that to you. May God bless you and keep you at this time.
 
So sorry this is happening to you. Just know you are not alone, it also happened to my husband. His first wife’s boyfriend started working with her and they both filed for divorce from their marriages. Just thank God there is no children involved, they would suffer the most.

My husband’s ex threw him out and kept the house. The court seems to favor the woman in divorce. Get a good lawyer and make a clean break as much as you can.
 
Jay,

Reading your post – was close to the one I posted 3 years ago. I was “married” for what would have been 17 years. Prior to marriage she told me she wanted kids, but as the years went along – excuse after excuse forced more waiting; until she says “I’m too told now to have kids and I never wanted also.” This caused lots of issues and then when I discovered she was having an affair for almost 2 years (she took a vacation with him over our anniversary saying that she had to travel for work also), I filed for divorce – with budget cuts in the state took 8 months. Once granted I filed for annulment, took 10 months!

Being 48 at the time I did not have much hope of finding a woman within my age group (40 or older) who wanted children also. But 2 months after my annulment I met a great woman: kind, loving, selfless, and a devote Catholic. We were married in December of last year and we are expecting a healthy baby boy in Oct – yes we did not waste any time .

Remain strong and trust in God. He will deliver you through this.

I will pray that God grants you peace and happiness.

Winter
 
I wanted to explain why my hubby’s ex got the house, he let her keep it thinking she would be nicer to deal with on custody of the children. Not only did that not work she fought him a long time to prove he was an unfit father and to get sole custody from him. A lot of money and heartache later after her second divorce she gave up taking him to court, guess the funds ran out (the child support, etc) she got from him to pay the lawyers.

So my advice to divorcing men is not to give up too easily on your finances. You are spared the custody issues since you did not have kids so it will probably be a clean break. This should be an easy divorce and annulment. Seems she just wants to get on with her boyfriend and la la land. No one can change her so just be thankful to let her go. She won’t be happy with a man who has 2 kids out there. If he isn’t paying child support for them, he should be But that isn’t your problem. You really missed a bullet in my opinion.

I hope things go your way now and you can find someone who deserves a great guy like you.
 
Talked to two priests that are helping me do just that. Worst part we are still in the same house until July when she can afford to leave, and tomorrow is my birthday.
Since she’s clearly made her choice, tell her to leave NOW!

She can stay with the new/old flame or couch surf with her friends, but she’s quit your relationship and should quit the house.

Considering what she is putting you through, she deserves a little inconvenience and you shouldn’t have to deal with her every day.
 
Since she’s clearly made her choice, tell her to leave NOW!

She can stay with the new/old flame or couch surf with her friends, but she’s quit your relationship and should quit the house.

Considering what she is putting you through, she deserves a little inconvenience and you shouldn’t have to deal with her every day.
I agree with this; she should leave now. I know a couple that stayed in the same house after a divorce proceeding and it was not good. Spare yourself and ask her to leave.

Mary.
 
Talked to two priests that are helping me do just that. Worst part we are still in the same house until July when she can afford to leave, and tomorrow is my birthday.
Happy Birthday. 🍰 I hope you can put this all behind you and find someone who will be a real spouse to you and raise a happy family.
 
I agree with this; she should leave now. I know a couple that stayed in the same house after a divorce proceeding and it was not good. Spare yourself and ask her to leave.

Mary.
I want to, but my parish priest says to let her leave on her own, He says any action on my part to remove her would be bad for my case
 
I want to, but my parish priest says to let her leave on her own, He says any action on my part to remove her would be bad for my case
What case? Divorce? Annulment?

You should really speak to a lawyer ASAP.
 
Happy Birthday. 🍰 I hope you can put this all behind you and find someone who will be a real spouse to you and raise a happy family.
thanks, but I’m never trusting another woman with my heart. I gave 150% to this marriage. I can’t open myself like that again. I plan to throw myself into the church and to pray for guidance.
 
thanks, but I’m never trusting another woman with my heart. I gave 150% to this marriage. I can’t open myself like that again. I plan to throw myself into the church and to pray for guidance.
Please, don’t think like that. This was not the right woman for you, isn’t that clear to you? Giving 150 or 200% wouldn’t have made a difference. It wasn’t about how much you gave. But please, don’t banish all women from your life or mistrust all women based on this one.

Do throw yourself into the church for guidance, and perhaps one day, you will think differently. God has only good things in store for you. In His time, in His way, not yours.

May God bless you and guide you.
 
thanks, but I’m never trusting another woman with my heart. I gave 150% to this marriage. I can’t open myself like that again. I plan to throw myself into the church and to pray for guidance.
What you are feeling is so understandable. You would be crazy to feel differently at this point. But please remember that most of us women are NOT like that. God may have a good wife in mind for you, or possibly a call to the priesthood. Just remain open to His will for your life and know that there are blessings in store for you. You are earning stars in your crown right now.
 
What you are feeling is so understandable. You would be crazy to feel differently at this point. But please remember that most of us women are NOT like that. God may have a good wife in mind for you, or possibly a call to the priesthood. Just remain open to His will for your life and know that there are blessings in store for you. You are earning stars in your crown right now.
If God calls him to the priesthood, he’ll do it regardless. But let 's not continue this notion where some single men are told that if they don’t get what they first want, then I’ll “settle” for being a priest.
That’s not how vocations work. Seminaries will look at any qualified, sound in mind candidate yes. But throwing the priesthood out there as some sort of fallback position is really misleading and potentially harmful to people who are hurting. Let’s not add more pressure at this point.

Peace.
 
If God calls him to the priesthood, he’ll do it regardless. But let 's not continue this notion where some single men are told that if they don’t get what they first want, then I’ll “settle” for being a priest.
That’s not how vocations work. Seminaries will look at any qualified, sound in mind candidate yes. But throwing the priesthood out there as some sort of fallback position is really misleading and potentially harmful to people who are hurting. Let’s not add more pressure at this point.

Peace.
I didn’t in any way state that.
 
I want to, but my parish priest says to let her leave on her own, He says any action on my part to remove her would be bad for my case
Jay,
My ex-wife told me a similar story, so I speak from painful experience. I also made the mistake of allowing her to stay, while we were working through a divorce.

If she is unwilling to pursue reconciliation, she should leave. Living together in this manner will just further sour your relationship. She’s also going to show you more respect when you show such backbone. Tell her she can come back only when she’s willing to work on the relationship.
 
I just wanted to add my prayers. I am so sorry for your loss. Although I have been through a dark place in my marriage, we were able to work through it, I know how devastating the thought of marriage is. There are no words to express my sympathy. Also I want to reiterate how important it is too treat yourself with extra care. You will physically be ill, it will feel worse that the flu, trust your body and rest, eat and do what needs to be done to take care of yourself. The blow is more than just psychological, it is a real physical trauma as well.

Prayers and May God bless you and lead you from this place to a place of peace and joy. As this door is closed May He open a new more fulfilling door for you.:gopray:
 
I didn’t in any way state that.
People are always telling people that the priesthood is an option on these failed relationship threads. It’s within your post.
Yes, we need vocations, but they need to be discerned without relationship problems coloring their thinking.

Give this guy a chance to heal.
God knows where to find him if he wants to touch his heart in that way.
 
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