Twilight Saga

[LoveGod102]

Is anyone else concerned about the message the twilight saga gives to young girls?
I’m 16, and I read it at 14 or 15. I was so mesmerized and obsessed with it for the longest time, and it took me reading and listening to it like 10 times (not kidding, I really did listen to it about that many times) before I saw through all the “romance” parts and saw the selfishness and infatuation and excuses that were being disguised as true love.
This series portrays love as, “If I have really strong feelings for you, and I try to stay away from you out of valid fear that I’ll hurt you, yet constantly send you mixed messages, then I must have been in love with you from the start.”
It’s not the vampire part that bothers me. (Really I don’t see why people object to that.) It’s that the book portrays selfishness as love. Gosh, he actually outright says that he is being selfish by being near her when he knows that he puts her life in serious danger, yet in that same breath says that he loves her. (Contradicting yourself, anyone?) Yet, because the story is told from the point of view of a seventeen year-old girl who is completely obsessed with him and refuses to let go of her attachment to him, these statements don’t seem contradictory in the context. This is a very dangerous message to send to people, especially impressionable kids who don’t have a good Christian influence in their lives. Reading this the first time, even knowing that true loves means doing what’s best for others, it was so easy to brush over that contradiction and let myself believe they were in love. I wanted a relationship like that, but it SEEMED good, on the surface. I shudder to think what this does to girls who DON’T know what true love is.
Then there is the fact that they become so co-dependent, that they both go into debilitating depression when they are separated, and the girl uses someone else to feel better.
Then there is the fact that chastity is portrayed as being nothing more than saving sex for marriage, yet making out is portrayed as being perfectly OK. (In fact, a pro-life magazine I read said that the twilight saga relationship between Edward and Bella was true love, just because they saved sex for marriage. No mention of the selfishness they both have, that results in both of them, along with their families and a friend being badly hurt.)
Then there is the problem that he coerces her into getting married, and that she thinks marriage is nothing, and agrees only so he will sleep with her.
Then in book four she continually tries to get him to change her into a vampire, even though he stated multiple times that he believes doing so would destroy her soul. While such a belief is incorrect, she refuses to respect that belief and keeps pressuring him to do, even though doing so is against his conscience.

 

[Auntie_A]

Oh yes, many are concerned and much criticism has been written. I think more satire needs to be written about such destructive literature. Oh, and of course much better literature could be read, written, and promoted.

 

[angell1]

Is anyone else concerned about the message the twilight saga gives to young girls?
I’m 16, and I read it at 14 or 15. I was so mesmerized and obsessed with it for the longest time, and it took me reading and listening to it like 10 times (not kidding, I really did listen to it about that many times) before I saw through all the “romance” parts and saw the selfishness and infatuation and excuses that were being disguised as true love.
This series portrays love as, “If I have really strong feelings for you, and I try to stay away from you out of valid fear that I’ll hurt you, yet constantly send you mixed messages, then I must have been in love with you from the start.”
It’s not the vampire part that bothers me. (Really I don’t see why people object to that.) It’s that the book portrays selfishness as love. Gosh, he actually outright says that he is being selfish by being near her when he knows that he puts her life in serious danger, yet in that same breath says that he loves her. (Contradicting yourself, anyone?) Yet, because the story is told from the point of view of a seventeen year-old girl who is completely obsessed with him and refuses to let go of her attachment to him, these statements don’t seem contradictory in the context. This is a very dangerous message to send to people, especially impressionable kids who don’t have a good Christian influence in their lives. Reading this the first time, even knowing that true loves means doing what’s best for others, it was so easy to brush over that contradiction and let myself believe they were in love. I wanted a relationship like that, but it SEEMED good, on the surface. I shudder to think what this does to girls who DON’T know what true love is.
Then there is the fact that they become so co-dependent, that they both go into debilitating depression when they are separated, and the girl uses someone else to feel better.
Then there is the fact that chastity is portrayed as being nothing more than saving sex for marriage, yet making out is portrayed as being perfectly OK. (In fact, a pro-life magazine I read said that the twilight saga relationship between Edward and Bella was true love, just because they saved sex for marriage. No mention of the selfishness they both have, that results in both of them, along with their families and a friend being badly hurt.)
Then there is the problem that he coerces her into getting married, and that she thinks marriage is nothing, and agrees only so he will sleep with her.
Then in book four she continually tries to get him to change her into a vampire, even though he stated multiple times that he believes doing so would destroy her soul. While such a belief is incorrect, she refuses to respect that belief and keeps pressuring him to do, even though doing so is against his conscience.

lol, i didn’t get that much out of the books, to be honest. they definitely aren’t greatly written. i read the first one to see what all the fuss was about and it’s jsut that, fuss. nothing original really. i do think there are some good messages and some bad ones, like most things these days. there are people who are in situations like that, no they’re not vampires but they have similar crazy struggles that cuts them off from people. just another perspective to think about

 

[ClearWater]

I love the Twilight series. Yes, what you say is true. Bella also is a feminist in a lot of ways, and the vampires also kill other vampires, occasionally!

Also, they drink blood and some have psychic-type abilities, can see the future, read thoughts, etc.!


However, I guess, on the other hand that I look at this as a kind of escape, a work of fiction, not real.

Romeo & Juliet were also to the point they both preferred to commit suicide than live apart, so it’s not really unique, at least in the obsessive part. Although, admittedly, I guess Shakespeare did put this into context, as a tragedy and the friar, to say it was unhealthy to love like that, to love moderately, instead.

Well, at one point Bella does offer her life in exchange for Edward’s. So, I’d suspect, despite all the infatuation, that she really did love him, as well.

I also think Edward did love Bella, because he was willing to risk his life for her, as well.

It was funny, when “Twilight” first came out, I was reading it. My friend, AND her daughter were all reading it! It was a phenomenon!

Anyway, what my friend said was that she just told her daughter it was okay to read the book but to realize real life is not like that fantasy.

I guess I would put it in the category of “fantasy”.

For 2 hours, I can just escape, imagine life to be different than what it is, that I could have things I never could, otherwise.

Well, in my particular case, I have had rheumatoid juvenile arthritis since I was 10 years old. I was teased, mercilessly, and even some in my own family closest to me rejected me. I was never invited to the prom, senior ball, or anything, really.

I honestly feel like I missed out on part of my childhood, and youth. I was always looking for belonging, acceptance, and love, (and still am).

When I watch “Twilight”, it’s as if I am living my life, my youth, again, vicariously, through Bella. She goes to school. Where I am rejected, she is accepted, even sort of popular. She has not one but several really nice guys who are all trying to get her to go out with them! She can pick amongst…I forget…3 or 4…I think!

One guy she loves ends up having superpowers, is good looking, extremely intelligent! He’s basically superman! He can jump higher, run faster, read people’s minds! He’s also romantic, wants to wait to have intimacy after marriage, and he’s a gentleman! He uses his strength to protect her!

He’s willing to stand up for her, risk his life and everything for her, time and again.

Sometimes, when life kicks me around viciously, and believe me, it really has, I find some strange kind of comfort watching that movie.

It helps me in a way nothing else can. Do you know, for 2 hours, it can sometimes almost make me forget that I’m alone and can even make me feel a little better. Maybe, in real life, that kind of love was never possible, but at least in my mind, it was.

 

[Nacho45]

Not really and I will explain why. You see, I screen everything before my children see it and these movies never made it past the test. In fact, my kids have also been banned from the books. They were not happy, but I am a parent, not a best friend. So, my girls are ok.

For other girls with parents who are either uninvolved in their lives of don’t care, there are bigger problems than these movies, but yes, they are a concern.

 

[Nacho45]

Oh yes, many are concerned and much criticism has been written. I think more satire needs to be written about such destructive literature. Oh, and of course much better literature could be read, written, and promoted.

There is an endless supply of horrid books no one should read. 50 Shades, for example…I can’t even talk about these books without wanting to expel my lunch. Poorly written and disgusting story line. "But it’s about love and yada, yada, yada…)

Few people know what it means to be artistic anymore and the ones who do can’t keep unsavory topics at bay.

 

[ClearWater]

May be right. I guess the saints like St. John Bosco said that forbidden books can get us into trouble, so you do have a point.

 

[ClearWater]

Though, when I saw the movie review, the Bishop’s Council didn’t seem to discourage seeing it, that I can recall.

 

[Petaro]

I love the Twilight series. Yes, what you say is true. Bella also is a feminist in a lot of ways, and the vampires also kill other vampires, occasionally!

Also, they drink blood and some have psychic-type abilities, can see the future, read thoughts, etc.!


However, I guess, on the other hand that I look at this as a kind of escape, a work of fiction, not real.

Romeo & Juliet were also to the point they both preferred to commit suicide than live apart, so it’s not really unique, at least in the obsessive part. Although, admittedly, I guess Shakespeare did put this into context, as a tragedy and the friar, to say it was unhealthy to love like that, to love moderately, instead.

Well, at one point Bella does offer her life in exchange for Edward’s. So, I’d suspect, despite all the infatuation, that she really did love him, as well.

I also think Edward did love Bella, because he was willing to risk his life for her, as well.

It was funny, when “Twilight” first came out, I was reading it. My friend, AND her daughter were all reading it! It was a phenomenon!

Anyway, what my friend said was that she just told her daughter it was okay to read the book but to realize real life is not like that fantasy.

I guess I would put it in the category of “fantasy”.

For 2 hours, I can just escape, imagine life to be different than what it is, that I could have things I never could, otherwise.

Well, in my particular case, I have had rheumatoid juvenile arthritis since I was 10 years old. I was teased, mercilessly, and even some in my own family closest to me rejected me. I was never invited to the prom, senior ball, or anything, really.

I honestly feel like I missed out on part of my childhood, and youth. I was always looking for belonging, acceptance, and love, (and still am).

When I watch “Twilight”, it’s as if I am living my life, my youth, again, vicariously, through Bella. She goes to school. Where I am rejected, she is accepted, even sort of popular. She has not one but several really nice guys who are all trying to get her to go out with them! She can pick amongst…I forget…3 or 4…I think!

One guy she loves ends up having superpowers, is good looking, extremely intelligent! He’s basically superman! He can jump higher, run faster, read people’s minds! He’s also romantic, wants to wait to have intimacy after marriage, and he’s a gentleman! He uses his strength to protect her!

He’s willing to stand up for her, risk his life and everything for her, time and again.

Sometimes, when life kicks me around viciously, and believe me, it really has, I find some strange kind of comfort watching that movie.

It helps me in a way nothing else can. Do you know, for 2 hours, it can sometimes almost make me forget that I’m alone and can even make me feel a little better. Maybe, in real life, that kind of love was never possible, but at least in my mind, it was.

Reading your post made me very sad. You have had a hard life. It is so unfair. I will pray that someone comes into your life for you alone. God can be so silent at times, but you seem to have much faith and the courage of a lion.May your reward be great.

 

[Deana83]

There is an endless supply of horrid books no one should read. 50 Shades, for example…I can’t even talk about these books without wanting to expel my lunch. Poorly written and disgusting story line. "But it’s about love and yada, yada, yada…)

Few people know what it means to be artistic anymore and the ones who do can’t keep unsavory topics at bay.

I can understand why these kind of books would appeal to young girls but what amazes me is how many intelligent, college educated, middle aged women who are buying into them. I watched the first Twilight movie and thought it was kind of cute but really had no interest after that. I liked Anne Rice’s version of the Vampires better, she actually researched the folklore, geography, and history- she made her vampires real. I did read all those chronicles and when the Twilight series came out I was hoping it would be similar but just couldn’t get into them. I’m not much of a touchy, feely, romantic, kind of girl when it comes to fiction anyway and I really don’t like chick flicks. I’m more into psychological thrillers and crime novels. Just finished “Fahrenheit 411” now that one will leave you scratching your head. Is what we read sinful? I don’t know, but I know what I like and will make sure my daughter is exposed enough to the classics that she will know the difference between literature and just whatever happens to make the bestseller list.

 

[angell1]

Though, when I saw the movie review, the Bishop’s Council didn’t seem to discourage seeing it, that I can recall.

don’t worry, i don’t think twilight can be comparable to 50 shades of grey, that’s a whole other ball game

 

[ClearWater]

Reading your post made me very sad. You have had a hard life. It is so unfair. I will pray that someone comes into your life for you alone. God can be so silent at times, but you seem to have much faith and the courage of a lion.May your reward be great.

That’s sweet! I’m okay, actually. Sometimes, I get a little carried away. It’s really not as bad as all that I sometimes try to make it seem. I can also get a little melodramatic! I just can get melancholy, especially around the holidays.

I am living in a foreign country and have had difficulty, so far, making connections. I intend to try a few more things once the holidays are over so that I could possibly have friends that I could talk to.

In the meantime, right or wrong, I turn to the forum! Oh…poor you…having to listen to all this!

As to “Twilight”, I have listed it as my favorite series off and on …on my profile, even. I took it off thinking, “Oh…don’t put that on there!” I took it off. Put it back. Took it off.

Now I’m asking you. Should I stop watching “Twilight”? I mean, if it’s not good for teens, is it really good for us? Wouldn’t it be a bad example?

It’s too bad I haven’t yet found anything remotely like it to replace it, which would make this entire process easier.

Unless you know of something. Do you know of another romance…like “Twilight” to replace it with?

 

[MrsR]

I love twilight! I don’t see a problem with an adult watching it/reading it. My husband has at times needed to remind me that it’s make beleive when I question him on why he can’t be as sweet as Edward lol. If we are to over analyse these things to much there won’t be a single thing left for us to read or watch! However that being said, I won’t be allowing my children to read or watch it for quite a few years! Those children/ young teenage girls that aren’t having material there exposed to monitored/reviewed prior viewing by a parent are doing and watching a lot worse things than twilight trust me!

 

[Zzyzx_Road]

This is fantasy at its worst. Very very few men can live up to Edward’s example. Can probably count them on the fingers of one hand in the entire country. Pity the poor husband or the poor father who while decent, good men don’t come close, cannot possibly come close. They pay the price for her fantasies when too often these fantasies intrude into her real life perspective. “Why can’t my boyfriend/fiance/husband be more like Edward?” Indeed… if a woman ever asks a question like that, it’s likely she doesn’t deserve her husband. He’s not perfect, never will be, he’s not Edward, never will be, but he deserves better than that from his wife. After all, it’s him she married, not Edward.

If I find out that a potential girl is a fan of this, that would be a big red flag for me.

 

[MrsR]

what can I say I’m a romantic, I grew up wanting a man who would love me 2nd only to God and that hasent changed. I would be cautious red flagging a potential future partner because she likes a particular movie that sounds more of a red flag issue to me. The problem isent a man being able to be as sweet or romantic as Edward it’s being able to maintain it. My husband was everybit as sweet and romantic as Edwards character in the early days and yes watching twilight brings back those memories for me and makes me wish it could be like that again sometimes! but at the end of the day it’s Bella and Edwards story I enjoy watching not Edward himself and if I wanted the perfect husband I should have became a nun

 

[Auntie_A]

Unless you know of something. Do you know of another romance…like “Twilight” to replace it with?

Here’s a few: You could try the Bronte’s “Wuthering Height’s”, or “Jane Eyre”; any Jane Austen novel; “Gone With the Wind” or its sequel “Scarlett”; “Oh Pioneers!” or any book by Willa Cather or Edna Ferber. Incredibly strong females with long, enduring romances.

I admit to having had an obsession with three different movie versions of Wuthering Heights. Quite a story!

 

[MrsR]

Agreed Wuthering heights is a great read. Infact if I recall it happens to be Bella swans fav book also

 

[ClearWater]

I’ve seen both “Jane Eyre” and “Wuthering Heights”, still prefer “Twilight”. If I were to have to do without “Twilight”, replace it only with those 2 movies, it wouldn’t be enough to sustain me through my life, I don’t think. I realize movies aren’t supposed to be means as sustenance. Most people already have emotional support. To those who don’t have any, some kind fantasy is not only a viable option but often absolutely necessary.

That’s a shame about the post that said to exclude anyone who liked “Twilight” as a potential marriage partner, or to “red flag” it, because that movie was incredibly popular. You’d be excluding much of America, and the world!

I don’t know. I think it’s okay for even a married woman, once in a while, to watch a romance, realizing this is not real, that it’s just an escape from problems, that the problems will return the second the movie’s over!

I think this helps a lot of women actually cope better with their husbands, boyfriends, etc., because it gives them a fantasy, although brief, from reality, which, for some people, can be quite harsh.

 

[ClearWater]

I have friends of mine who read that series. One friend was an upper-level supervisor at Goodwill Easterseals. She’s very smart, beautiful, “together”.Her daughter read it, never met her daughter.

Another friend read that entire series. She’s very “together”, was going to be a doctor then ended up married. She has 2 children. One’s a doctor, the other’s an engineer. Together, they bought her a house!

 

[LoveGod102]

That’s sweet! I’m okay, actually. Sometimes, I get a little carried away. It’s really not as bad as all that I sometimes try to make it seem. I can also get a little melodramatic! I just can get melancholy, especially around the holidays.

I am living in a foreign country and have had difficulty, so far, making connections. I intend to try a few more things once the holidays are over so that I could possibly have friends that I could talk to.

In the meantime, right or wrong, I turn to the forum! Oh…poor you…having to listen to all this!

As to “Twilight”, I have listed it as my favorite series off and on …on my profile, even. I took it off thinking, “Oh…don’t put that on there!” I took it off. Put it back. Took it off.

Now I’m asking you. Should I stop watching “Twilight”? I mean, if it’s not good for teens, is it really good for us? Wouldn’t it be a bad example?

It’s too bad I haven’t yet found anything remotely like it to replace it, which would make this entire process easier.

Unless you know of something. Do you know of another romance…like “Twilight” to replace it with?

Depends. Can you see past the surface, to realize that all the selfishness of them both means it is not true love?
Yes, you’re right that they do risk their lives for each other. However… love doesn’t mean “I’ll do anything for you, even die, but at the expense of damaging my relationship with my father, and my friendships with people besides you and your family.” Love doesn’t hurt the people around us. Love doesn’t use other people to make us feel better. Scripture tells us that “love does not insist on it’s own way.” Bella absolutely insists that she be with Edward, despite knowing that it puts her life in serious danger, and that if Edward were to slip up and kill her, it would cause him serious emotional pain. If she really loved him, she would have stayed away from him, to avoid this very valid risk. Love doesn’t disrespect our parents. Bella won’t listen to her father, who doesn’t want her dating Edward. She threatens to move out if he doesn’t let her date Edward, and she means it.
If Edward really loved Bella, he would have stayed away from her. Yes, I know he did try to stay away from her at first, but then he gives in to selfishness and stops avoiding her and starts dating her. He himself ADMITS that he is being selfish, yet he doesn’t seem to care. This is him insisting on his own way, while claiming to love her. This contradicts Scripture’s definition of love.
Love doesn’t refuse to respect other’s beliefs. “Love is not arrogant or rude,” as Scripture says. Love doesn’t manipulate people into doing what they belief to be a grave evil. This is what Bella does. She manipulates him into agreeing to make her a vampire, even though she knows that he believes it to be a grave evil. This is strong evidence that they are not in love. If she loved him, she would have respected him, and encouraged him to do what he believed was right. If he loved her, then he would have stuck to what his conscience said, no matter what Bella said or did.

If can see and acknowledge all this to be the case, rather than thinking that they are in love, than it might be fine. If it’s tempting you to believe the lie that love is nothing more than emotion, and that it is compatible with selfishness, than watching it is a bad idea.