Two Hardcore Videoed EWTN Homilies on How to Dress/Act for Mass

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I very much liked what the priests had to say. It is necessary to have detailed explanations about what is modesty, as many people have become desensitized about how they appear to others.

Peace,

Dorothy.
 
CoffeeAndDonuts said:
on the other hand I’m not ashamed of the way God made me
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Yes, because that is what’s being argued here: that God made you shamefully and therefore you need to coverup. You’re kind of building up straw men here.
 
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That sort of what it is though. Cover up. Don’t you dare let men be tempted. It’s on you to make sure they don’t have lustful thoughts.
 
No. You may be projecting that. “Cover up. Don’t you dare let men be tempted. It’s on you to make sure they don’t have lustful thoughts.” Is that what you hear whispered to you? That’s disturbing. Replace those thoughts with:
2521 Purity requires modesty, an integral part of temperance. Modesty protects the intimate center of the person. It means refusing to unveil what should remain hidden. It is ordered to chastity to whose sensitivity it bears witness. It guides how one looks at others and behaves toward them in conformity with the dignity of persons and their solidarity.

2522 Modesty protects the mystery of persons and their love. It encourages patience and moderation in loving relationships; it requires that the conditions for the definitive giving and commitment of man and woman to one another be fulfilled. Modesty is decency. It inspires one’s choice of clothing. It keeps silence or reserve where there is evident risk of unhealthy curiosity. It is discreet. [Emphasis added].
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I am perfectly decent. I am a married woman in a loving relationship for ten years. For nearly the past 20 years I have been well-developed woman (I’m not trying to brag or anything, but one morning I just woke up and bang! there it was) and I’ve had men staring at me and I’ve been acutely aware of this for over half my life. I don’t like being told that this is somehow my fault: that the way men stare at me is my problem, or that I should go to extreme lengths to disguise my physical form, or that I am to blame for the lustful temptations of men.

I am truly sorry if I come off as aggressive in this manner, but I am tired of being perceived as “immodest” or “tempting” of men due to factors outside of my control. I don’t want to go to Mass wearing something comfortable both to my body and my mind, and have the thought that there are people there judging me for not measuring up to their standards.
 
At this point I’d wear a plastic garbage bag just to stop the bickering over the issue. I don’t go to church to express myself with my clothes, and showing off my outfits there is something I grew out of at about age 15.
 
In what way is modest dress uncomfortable? Just seems like an excuse to ignore Catholic teachings, to me.
 
Of course you are not responsible if you are attractive. But if you go around in skinny jeans and a crop top, this is leading people in to sin.
 
CoffeeAndDonuts said:
I am perfectly decent. I am a married woman in a loving relationship for ten years. For nearly the past 20 years I have been well-developed woman (I’m not trying to brag or anything, but one morning I just woke up and bang! there it was) and I’ve had men staring at me and I’ve been acutely aware of this for over half my life. I don’t like being told that this is somehow my fault: that the way men stare at me is my problem, or that I should go to extreme lengths to disguise my physical form, or that I am to blame for the lustful temptations of men.
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If you dress immodestly then you DO share in the fault. That doesn’t mean they oglers don’t sin if they have impure thoughts in such situations, but to believe you don’t facilitate the sin and thus share in it is just silly.
CoffeeAndDonuts said:
I am truly sorry if I come off as aggressive in this manner, but I am tired of being perceived as “immodest” or “tempting” of men due to factors outside of my control. I don’t want to go to Mass wearing something comfortable both to my body and my mind, and have the thought that there are people there judging me for not measuring up to their standards.
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You come off as defensive. As if you know that you dress too provocatively in at least some situations and you’re trying to defend your behavior rather than trying to remedy it.
 
Nope – Lust is a failure on our part – in valuing the other person (manichaen anti-value). A man can lust – so can a women.
Including the person being lusted at (the sin is shared by both) – is part of that failure (manichaen anti-value).
 
This topic is not about you. Terms like “dressed with everything hanging out” is short for immodest dress which doesn’t pertain to you. But it does happen, and it is a problem in some parishes, and it’s entirely appropriate for the Catechism and these priests to address it.
 
What do you consider to be modest dress for women? Because here are my two major issues areas-
  1. High heels, nylons, and a lot of cuts and styles for dresses are greatly uncomfortable for my build - ie they sung in the wrong places, are restricting to move in, and just, in general, do not feel good to wear.
  2. Which leaves me with long skirts/pantsuit ensembles. Perhaps this is vain, but I do not like wearing outfits that are very unflattering or unfashionable. However, I also am not aware of a point in catechism that mandates that woman must sacrifice their innate sense of femininity for the mental comfort of male church-goers. Call me crazy, but I like to look reasonably fashionable.
I am not aware of any church teaching that says women cannot try to reconcile their Mass attire with current fashion.
 
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