Unable to cross arms at communion

[ConfusedLucy]

On a practical level in a very full church with pews that aren’t the most roomy I think you would just cause an obstruction staying put and it’s better to go with the flow. Best to look at the layout, how crowded and what others are doing and make a judgment.

Also most people I know wouldn’t leave a 5 year old unattended in church.

 

[po18guy]

Stay in your pew. Father can bless you outside of the mass. Communion and blessing are not the primary reason we attend the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass.

We do it to offer the eternal sacrifice of Christ to the Father.

 

[Titivillus]

Yea, get rid of letting little children, pre first communion, feel that they are part of something bigger than themselves.

Yea, let’s keep all those small children from doing something that makes them feel included instead of just another lump in a pew, chomping at the bit to get out of that boring church and home to play. I say not only get rid of that misplaced sense of inclusivity, BAN people with young children from trying to teach their little ones a thirst for inclusion in Christ’s table.

Are these armies of pre-communicant children with crossed arms approaching the minister unaccompanied!?!? How odd. Rather, I suspect they are in the tow of their parents, reluctant to stay alone in the pew.
history lesson
In my pre-communicant day, when dinosaurs roamed the earth, my mother would take me with her to kneel at the Communion rail, with an arm around my shoulders and her hand over my mouth to prevent accidental Communication.
I do not remember receiving a particular blessing from the priest at those times.

In more recent times, on the other hand, we would sometimes be visited by a Byzantine Catholic family, who would accompany us to the Roman Rite Mass. The mother generally had to reassure the minister of Communion that her young sons should receive.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

I agree with stpurl that one can just stay in the pew. The “cross your arms to receive a blessing” seems rather recent; I never remember seeing it growing up in the 1970s and 1980s.

Unfortunately, the subject of who does and doesn’t go to Communion sometimes becomes the subject of gossip.

I have attended Mass frequently with non-Catholics in USA and have never met one who felt it was necessary to troop up to the front at Communion time to get a blessing. They were all fine with staying in the pew and actually preferred it in order to avoid any misunderstandings or need for explanations up front.

I have also been in churches with many people who I suspect were Catholic but just did not feel in a state of grace to receive (particularly at Spanish Masses) and people just stay in the pew. It is not a big deal. No one seems to feel all excluded doing this.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Are these armies of pre-communicant children with crossed arms approaching the minister unaccompanied!?!? How odd. Rather, I suspect they are in the tow of their parents, reluctant to stay alone in the pew.

I see kids going up and getting the blessing all the time, holding their mom’s hands or asleep in dad’s arms. They do not need to be crossing their arms for a blessing as they are small and their demeanor, if not their age, clearly indicates they are not up there to receive the Host. It is not a big deal when it’s a kid accompanied by the parent who is generally receiving communion himself or herself.

 

[Phemie]

Interesting. While I knew a person could stay in the pew if they preferred, I always thought going up for a blessing was also a valid option. In our parish, it’s common for parents to take their children up with them and get a blessing. I see it less often in adults but it is done occasionally. Is this a matter of something that should be discouraged across the board or should people do whatever their particular parish permits?

It’s a bone of contention for many. One of our Pastors would never bless children who accompanied their parents. As far as he was concerned that was not what the Communion line was for. At least one parent disagreed vehemently.

Our last Pastor, OTOH, asked parents to make sure to wait until he’d blessed their children before they moved on. While he hasn’t made that comment, our present priest blesses them all.

We still rarely see adults going up for blessings and there are several non-Catholics who attend with their spouses. The only time I’ve ever heard a priest mention who could and couldn’t receive Communion (a visiting priest ministering to us during a funeral, IIRC) his advice was to stay in the pew and pray. There was a time when a lot of people stayed in their pew, Catholics as well as non-Catholics, and nobody thought there was anything unusual about that.

 

[stpurl]

So exactly what part of the “It has not, and never has been mandated, that a person who cannot receive the Eucharist MUST go up for a blessing instead” is 'not totally right" may I ask? That is what I the ‘ultra conservative’ say. . .and it in no way differs from any authentic Church teaching. People might try to put words in my mouth and say that I am trying to ‘enforce’ something, or that I am ‘not allowing bishops to decide’ but I never have said that.

It is not about ‘legalism OR love’. It is about simple obedience being love. If any bishop of mine mandates< "If thou canst receive the Eucharist thou must go for a blessing’, I will obey. But since no bishop has ever come out and stated, to my knowledge, “Thou must go” I stand by my words that, especially in cases of women with 3 week old infants, the woman need not feel obligated to go, but should, with perfect legitimacy, remain in the pew.

I wish people would stop trying to make artificial sides and paint other people as the big bad meanies. Obedience is just as ‘loving’ as telling people to 'do something that hasn’t been mandated, if it makes you feel better, and to hades with people telling you that you don’t HAVE TO do it at all".

 

[Phemie]

I’m not a big fan of going up for a blessing, but it can be tricky to stay in the pew, and scoot out of the communicants’ way.

We did it since pews were installed and it was never a problem, when did it become “tricky”? When did simply moving your legs or standing to let them pass become such an onerous task?

 

[stpurl]

Why?
Everybody gets a blessing at the end of Mass.
Nobody has to go forward in the communion line.
Nobody has to receive communion at any given Mass.
So why should a group of people take it upon themselves to initiate a ‘new custom’, and then demand that everybody else in the Catholic Church recognize this custom and then get huffy if at a different parish, or with a different priest, their new custom is (correctly) explained as something which is not a part of the Mass?
If people get ‘huffy’ about that (and my golly it sure looks like the ones who really get their knickers in a twist are the ones who are told, “but you don’t have to do this, and you will get a blessing anyway at Mass”), then are they at Mass to worship God or Burger King? (Hey, we’re gonna do this MY way, it’s my right!)

 

[ConfusedLucy]

If I was elderly or infirm I would prefer not to climb over people. Sometimes in a very full church there isn’t an obvious place to stand out of the way especially for a someone with an awkward or clumsy nature.

 

[Elizabeth3]

There was a time when a lot of people stayed in their pew, Catholics as well as non-Catholics, and nobody thought there was anything unusual about that.

I’m 47. I remember when I was a child, my parents never took me nor my siblings with them in the communion line. We just sat in the pew and knew to stay put until they returned. I think the first I had heard of a blessing was in a Kimberly Hahn talk when I was maybe 25 or so. She was speaking of her child saying “I want my blessing. I want my blessing.” when the priest forgot to give her one. I had been a lapsed Catholic at that point and was just beginning to come back to practicing the faith and I remember wondering why my parents never took us up for a blessing. Then when I went back to Mass, I began to notice children getting a blessing. When I moved to another parish, they did the same and, like I said, I never heard anyone express an opinion about it.

It certainly has been an eye-opener as far as the conversation here. I can see people’s points on both sides though.

 

[Hereiam]

Everybody gets a blessing at the end of Mass.
Nobody has to go forward in the communion line.
Nobody has to receive communion at any given Mass.

And if some do, that does not make those who do not “victims”. Victim mentality is a horrible thing. It is egocentric. It would be better if we were theocentric, understanding the compassion and mercy of the Lord, rather than seeing Him as carrying a scorecard to record possible “missteps” in one’s giving glory to Him, or how others ask for his blessings.

 

[Augustinian]

I’m 47. I remember when I was a child, my parents never took me nor my siblings with them in the communion line

I’m 61 and remember when I was a kid too. And in the 1960’s, at least here in Pittsburgh, only half the people at Mass approached for communion. Not coming forward for communion didn’t single them out.

 

[paperwight]

Elizabeth3:

I’m 47. I remember when I was a child, my parents never took me nor my siblings with them in the communion line

I’m 61 and remember when I was a kid too. And in the 1960’s, at least here in Pittsburgh, only half the people at Mass approached for communion. Not coming forward for communion didn’t single them out.

Yes, but what was the fast before Communion then? Wasn’t it 3 hours?

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Yes, but what was the fast before Communion then? Wasn’t it 3 hours?

It changed from 3 hours to 1 hour in 1964.

Nevertheless, I have been seeing people sit in the pews for the last 50 years. Even in parishes where most people go up to Communion, there have always been some Catholics who had a non-Catholic spouse who would come to Mass with them but refrain from Communion.

 

[Augustinian]

It changed from 3 hours to 1 hour in 1964.

I’ll take your word for it when it changed. But even if it changed in 1964, it doesn’t mean every Catholic was necessarily informed about the change timely. In an organization as large as the Catholic Church- getting everyone’s attention takes time.

 

[1ke]

Yes, it was two CAF posters who wrote to the CDW. This used to be a sticky at the top of the liturgy forum on the old CAF site:

CDWDS response regarding blessings during Communion procession Liturgy and Sacraments

Seems pretty straighforward. No offense, please but at the same time, we’re reading an internet post of a letter. It seems to affirm what many have been saying on these posts.

The response from the CDW is protocol no. 930/08/l.

 

[stpurl]

And pointing out the rubrics is being theocentric, not caving or inventing things 'to please humans".

 

[stpurl]

And the problem with presenting people who are simply being obedient as ‘scorekeepers’ and setting them up "in opposition to the Lord’, is that those who do this are actually being the scorekeepers themselves.

It is strange, is it not, how every kind of innovation and departure from rules and guidelines (themselves set up to help, not hinder) is touted as showing God’s ‘mercy’, but a call to adhere to teachings in obedience is cast as legalism, being unmerciful, etc. etc.

However, as Father Z (I am a great fan of his blog, as you probably would infer from many of my posts) might say, it is a good thing to shine a light, as it were, to illuminate the reasons that people give to dissent, disagree, depart, or otherwise change, innovate, etc. So often the reasons start with such ‘good intentions’ regarding the ‘feelings’ of others, and so often they end with pointed jabs, diatribes, charges of meanness, etc, at those who disagree. I guess that our ‘feelings’ don’t matter?

 

[Gorgias]

While I knew a person could stay in the pew if they preferred, I always thought going up for a blessing was also a valid option.

It doesn’t appear in the rubrics for the Mass anywhere. It’s a practice that has sprung up on its own.

It’s actually up to the local bishop whether he is ok with people going up for a blessing I think.

No, not really. The Pope can alter the liturgy unilaterally, but a bishop may not.

I never understood the objection people have with others going up for a blessing.

The objections and concerns are numerous. (Not saying that I agree with all of them, but I’ve heard many.)

• It’s superfluous.
• It’s not part of the Mass.
• It leads to confusion and hurt feelings when people approach an EMHC and expect a blessing.
• Since it’s not standard, not all priests do it… and then, people might think poorly of a priest for not being welcoming.
• It leads to the notion that everyone should get up at communion time (which, the concern is, that folks will always get up, and always get communion – because everyone else is getting up – and so, some might receive communion unworthily rather than discern their disposition to receive).
• It waters down the ‘purpose’ of getting into line – that’s the time to receive Eucharist.

YMMV.