Unable to endure the "dark night of the soul"

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Buzzycat

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For some reason, I feel I have entered a period of darkness in my life. For years I have been fighting depression and winning with Christ’s Mercy. The past two years or more, this feeling of winning has disappeared. I am filled with a loss of connection to Christ. To be honest, I am afraid. I do not like this and do not want it. I want Christ to be part of my life.

Has anyone else felt this way? How do I deal with this? St.
 
I am filled with a loss of connection to Christ. To be honest, I am afraid. I do not like this and do not want it. I want Christ to be part of my life.
Do you see the colored highlight, Buzzycat? It suggests to me that you are resisting God’s plan for your life, which seems to be, for now, to walk in the darkness of pure faith. It is hard in the space of a short post to describe the many wonderful benefits that God is bringing to you spiritually. I send this scripture for you to meditate upon and pray before God. May you bring your heart to fullness of trust and begin to thank Him and rejoice in your circumstances, even though you do not “like this.”
Habakkuk 3:1-18
For though the fig tree blossom not nor fruit be on the vines, Though the yield of the olive fail and the terraces produce no nourishment, Though the flocks disappear from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls, Yet will I rejoice in the LORD and exult in my saving God.
As you embrace the attitude of praise and thankfulness, thus eliminating anxiety, God will enlighten you if there is something amiss that needs to change, and which may be a source of feeling separated from His presence.
 
I have battled depression for the last 30 odd years, and more recently, have been going through my own period of darkness, spiritual aridity. This is what works for me:

Contemplate the Divine Mercy image with its banner, “Jesus, I Trust in You”

Continue to Trust that He knows what He is doing;
that even if you don’t feel Him there, He is there.

This is a lesson in Trusting.
Trust, even if you have no feelings whatsoever.

Remember the times you did feel His Presence. Recall them in detail. Contemplate them. Savor them.

Continue to go to Mass and to take the Sacraments. Spend time in Eucharistic Adoration.

I find that using the prayers of the Saints really helps since I don’t seem to be able to pray on my own; there are just no words.

Make a schedule for you prayers. Wake up; say an Our Father, and again before you sleep.

He tells us that he will test us, like gold that is tested in fire. That means that some of the tests will be very tough, very uncomfortable and we won’t like them.

Think of the goal - to be with God forever in eternity, if we remain steadfast. I can endure any hardship, even if this darkness lasts the rest of my life, so long as in the end, in eternity, I have God. He has Promised and I Trust in His Promise.

Hold firm to what you have been taught, despite the darkness.

And very important - Thank Him and praise Him for testing you in this way.
 
For some reason, I feel I have entered a period of darkness in my life. For years I have been fighting depression and winning with Christ’s Mercy. The past two years or more, this feeling of winning has disappeared. I am filled with a loss of connection to Christ. To be honest, I am afraid. I do not like this and do not want it. I want Christ to be part of my life.

Has anyone else felt this way? How do I deal with this? St.
Be aware that depression and “dark night of the soul” are NOT the same thing. If you are suffering from depression, you may very well need the help of a mental health professional.

Father Thomas Dubay, in Chapter 9 of Fire Within (pages 163–164), lists some characteristics of a “Mental/emotional problem” vs. the “Dark, purifying night.” A few examples:
  • Introspection, self-concern, and self-analysis are characteristic of emotional problems, whereas during the dark night there is “little or no introspection once the condition is adequately explained. Little awareness of the problem aside from prayer time.”
  • “The person with a mental problem often suffers from clinical depression more or less severe,” whereas in the dark night “There is no depression at all. At work, play, meals, the person is as cheerful as at any other period in the spiritual life.”
  • “Chronic fatigue and/or insomnia often accompany the emotional disturbance,” but these are not a problem in the dark night.
  • “In the dark night, attention at prayer [emphasis added] can be difficult and at times impossible, but there is no attention problem in the rest of life.” By contrast, “Fixing of attention on studying, reading, or a lecture can be impossible” if one suffers from a mental/emotional problem.
In other words, we should seek spiritual remedies for spiritual problems, but medical solutions to medical problems (supported by prayer, of course).

In either case, this must be very difficult for you. You are in my prayers.
 
I do believe my"dark night" may be more depression.

It has lasted so long and just when We feel we are getting a grip on it, it comes back worse than ever.

I want to believe That God, Christ and the Holy Spirit can cure me or at least give me the strength to live life. I have a wife to care for, a job, and other family who want me in their lives. Depression takes me out and I cower in my bed.

I will have to watch the link sent and see what happens. St.
 
Be aware that depression and “dark night of the soul” are NOT the same thing. If you are suffering from depression, you may very well need the help of a mental health professional.

Father Thomas Dubay, in Chapter 9 of Fire Within (pages 163–164), lists some characteristics of a “Mental/emotional problem” vs. the “Dark, purifying night.” A few examples:
  • Introspection, self-concern, and self-analysis are characteristic of emotional problems, whereas during the dark night there is “little or no introspection once the condition is adequately explained. Little awareness of the problem aside from prayer time.”
  • “The person with a mental problem often suffers from clinical depression more or less severe,” whereas in the dark night “There is no depression at all. At work, play, meals, the person is as cheerful as at any other period in the spiritual life.”
  • “Chronic fatigue and/or insomnia often accompany the emotional disturbance,” but these are not a problem in the dark night.
  • “In the dark night, attention at prayer [emphasis added] can be difficult and at times impossible, but there is no attention problem in the rest of life.” By contrast, “Fixing of attention on studying, reading, or a lecture can be impossible” if one suffers from a mental/emotional problem.
In other words, we should seek spiritual remedies for spiritual problems, but medical solutions to medical problems (supported by prayer, of course).

In either case, this must be very difficult for you. You are in my prayers.
Good advice! 👍

Jim
 
I do believe my"dark night" may be more depression.

It has lasted so long and just when We feel we are getting a grip on it, it comes back worse than ever.

I want to believe That God, Christ and the Holy Spirit can cure me or at least give me the strength to live life. I have a wife to care for, a job, and other family who want me in their lives. Depression takes me out and I cower in my bed.

I will have to watch the link sent and see what happens. St.
I hope you are remembering to offer up the pain of your emotional suffering for the salvation of souls. It is one of the marvelous transformations accomplished by Our Lord - to take the pain that entered the world as a result of sin and transform it into something good (that is, that it can be used to achieve something good). Suffering becomes more bearable when we offer it up - when we recognize it can have a purpose, a good purpose. As the reality sinks in that our pain (accepted and offered up) will be used by God to help save someone from eternal damnation, we may even reach the point of rejoicing, as St. Paul did:

*Col 1:24 Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I complete what is lacking in Christ’s afflictions for the sake of his body, that is, the church, *

What joy ahead when we get to meet that person/s in heaven — and no doubt, meet all those who aided in our salvation by offering up their suffering!

**Regardless of the source **(depression or dark night), **your suffering is real **and it can be used up to accomplish good. You can unite it to the similar pain Our Lord underwent on the cross:

Mt. 27:46 …“My God, My God, why hast thou forsaken Me?”

Nita
 
Couple other audio files that might interest those who suffer like this:

Peter Kreeft on suffering. Very good.

Father Corapi’s The Cross and the Christian series. Expensive but outstanding.

Al Kresta interviewing Anthony DeStefano, author of 10 Prayers God Always Says Yes To (2nd half of this 1 hour audio file)

The whole series by Father Andrew Apostoli on Padre Pio is very good. Access the MP3s from this FTP site. Or you can listen via Real Audio here.

Father John Riccardo on Redemptive Suffering. Good stuff.
 
I do believe my"dark night" may be more depression.

It has lasted so long and just when We feel we are getting a grip on it, it comes back worse than ever.

I want to believe That God, Christ and the Holy Spirit can cure me or at least give me the strength to live life. I have a wife to care for, a job, and other family who want me in their lives. Depression takes me out and I cower in my bed.

I will have to watch the link sent and see what happens. St.
Often our “cure” or healing is presented to us through the field of medicine. If you were suffering from cancer or diabetes, you would not hesitate to consult a doctor for help. God has provided for us while we are earth bound and often His wonders are worked through these channels.

I am sure you’ve heard the story of the man in the sinking boat. He prays to God to save him. Along comes a coast guard boat but he refuses to get in, telling the captain God will save him. Along comes a fishing boat, but the man refuses saying God will save him. Along comes a helicopter but the man refuses. God, he says, will save him. The boat sinks and the man drowns. When he arrives at the gates of heaven, he asks the Lord why He did not save him. The Lord replies: “I tried! I sent you two boats and a helicopter!”
 
For some reason, I feel I have entered a period of darkness in my life. For years I have been fighting depression and winning with Christ’s Mercy. The past two years or more, this feeling of winning has disappeared. I am filled with a loss of connection to Christ. To be honest, I am afraid. I do not like this and do not want it. I want Christ to be part of my life.

Has anyone else felt this way? How do I deal with this? St.
I’m sorry Buzzycat for the way you have been feeling lately…I copied and pasted this for you–to read the full reflection, please go to www.wau.org But this is a snippit that I thought would fit perfectly with how you are feeling. (and seeing that it is the Feast of St Stephen)…

***As Stephen remained faithful to these basics, Jesus changed him. Humbly and without fanfare, Stephen’s life of prayer and service opened him up to the Holy Spirit’s power. Just as Jesus “advanced in wisdom and age and favor” as he grew up in Nazareth (Luke 2:52), Stephen became passionate in his love for Christ over time. In the end, Stephen was so focused on Jesus that he didn’t care about—or fear—whatever might happen to him.

It can be the same for us! Christmas is such a dramatic, climactic season that we can begin to expect everything in our lives to change at once—and then feel disappointed when we find ourselves pretty much the same on December 26 as we were on December 24. Just remember that Jesus loves to use the “routine” activities of prayer, Scripture, and the sacraments to penetrate and transform us. Day after day, year after year, we can become more like Stephen—and more like Jesus—to the point where we are willing to give up even our lives for the sake of the gospel.***
 
Saint Mother Theresa had the same problem. Maybe she would be a good saint for intercession.
 
Dear Buzzycat… I agree with Chevalier. This might be a very good time for you to pick up a copy of the book about Blessed Teresa of Calcutta. It is called… “Mother Teresa - Come Be My Light”. Written by Brian Kolodiejchuk.

I am reading it now… as time permits. There is something very encouraging… about knowing that this great saint… who God gave us, as a “light” in our times… suffered the same things that all of us do. Please pick up a copy. I know that it will help you to get through this difficult time you’re experiencing. In the meantime, you’re in my prayers.:gopray2:
 
Buzzy, have you thought about seeking a spiritual director? Maybe finding a priest who could serve as both your confessor and your guide could help you through this time.

And… as crazy as this may sound… when I was going through my Dark Night, I must have spoken to 5-6 priests before I could find one who could understand even a little bit of what was going on, and it turns out that the bulk of my instruction came from St John of the Cross himself. Reading Dark Night of the Soul actually helped me understand what was going on. For me, it was very different from “normal” depression. It was like Christ was hiding and wanted me to go find him. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through, but once you get through it, the relationship is just amazing. My advice: go after your Savior! Pray the Rosary, pray the Psalms (if you are truly in the Dark Night, you will probably be attracted to the laments), go to Mass as often as possible (you will need this for strength), confess often, surrender your heart and your will to our Lord… it’s a tough mountain to climb, and you may feel alone, but that’s just because this is the time to really focus on Christ.

I will pray for you ask you walk this journey! Just remain hopeful, ask the Holy Spirit to guide you, and you will be fine.
 
For some reason, I feel I have entered a period of darkness in my life. For years I have been fighting depression and winning with Christ’s Mercy. The past two years or more, this feeling of winning has disappeared. I am filled with a loss of connection to Christ. To be honest, I am afraid. I do not like this and do not want it. I want Christ to be part of my life.

Has anyone else felt this way? How do I deal with this? St.
Buzzy cat it is not I would think that you have “for some reason” more than you probably come to the point where you are saturated with God’s teaching love and glory where God now needs to take ou up into another level. We cannot take the past with us for there would not be glory for God there. I have on many occasinons come to this point and it hurts. reason well! Jesus put it this way.

He is a good master and every good master wishes to have good fruit from their tree. You are, it seems seen as a tree that needs your humaness (of the past) pruned so that God can bring out good new branches.
Trouble is though that our humanness (the part that is crying out leave me ) yes the humanness that is in a COMFORT zone does not want change , but God needs tochange us for His fruit to come for our fruit is faulty by itself.
It does not take long go with what God is doing

Godbless.
 
I do believe my"dark night" may be more depression.

It has lasted so long and just when We feel we are getting a grip on it, it comes back worse than ever.

I want to believe That God, Christ and the Holy Spirit can cure me or at least give me the strength to live life. I have a wife to care for, a job, and other family who want me in their lives. Depression takes me out and I cower in my bed.

I will have to watch the link sent and see what happens. St.
Depression is a disorder/sickness, and if you have it, you should definitely have it treated by a qualified medical professional.

The dark night of the soul is about aridity in prayer experienced as a path towards sanctification. Depression is a definite medical problem which is distinct from the dark night of the soul. Although both can happen simultaneously, Fr. Dubay also notes that, “the two phenomena are very different and distinct both in their causes and in their effects.”

So definitely make sure to make the proper medical checks. Treatable mental and emotional problems are not things we need to simply resign ourselves to-- it is a good and even necessary thing to make sure we have them treated. Plus, it will make your walk with Christ much easier. And, as you note, it will help you with your duties as husband and father.

-Rob
 
For some reason I was not able to put your thread into only a mental situation weather it be Neurological socialogical or psychological. Guess if it is sociological/psychological then counselling will do the best but neurological will probably be the Psychiatrist. You would have to see your counsellor or a psychologist to have them determan this.

In other cases if this as I read it was a “dark night of the soul” then this is not neurological socialogical or psychological but a time of God taking or allowing you to go through a time of change. In which case God is in charge and He will be in control if you let go for Him to be so.
All I could do is to pray for ou
Godbless.
 
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