Unfriendly people

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Beunos

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How do you manage to forgive people who behave unfriendly and treat you bad? I’ve lost count now how many times I’ve said to myself: “What a complete bastard, this person does not deserve my forgiveness, because this person DO behave like a bastard”. This certainly is my Golgotha. How do you do it?
 
How do you manage to forgive people who behave unfriendly and treat you bad? I’ve lost count now how many times I’ve said to myself: “What a complete bastard, this person does not deserve my forgiveness, because this person DO behave like a bastard”. This certainly is my Golgotha. How do you do it?
I’ve found that it helps if I pray for that person every day. It may not come to the point of full forgiveness but it certainly helps me to see them as a child of God.
 
How do you manage to forgive people who behave unfriendly and treat you bad? I’ve lost count now how many times I’ve said to myself: “What a complete bastard, this person does not deserve my forgiveness, because this person DO behave like a bastard”. This certainly is my Golgotha. How do you do it?
Honestly? I curse them as horrible Godless people and pray that the Lord smites them the same way he handled folks Old Testament style. Then I judge their internal state of the souls, and proclaim them to be wicked dark people who are akin to demons on earth. Unworthy to even call themselves human and hope they die a horrible death and get to hell as quick as they can before they have the opportunity to hurt others.

…something I try to work on, not a good attitude to have 🤷
 
…forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us… Meditate on this verse a bit. Blessings and be well.
 
How do you manage to forgive people who behave unfriendly and treat you bad? I’ve lost count now how many times I’ve said to myself: “What a complete bastard, this person does not deserve my forgiveness, because this person DO behave like a bastard”. This certainly is my Golgotha. How do you do it?
My tactic is to pray for them. Not pray they’ll change, but pray that God will bless them in every possible way. I find that it’s nearly impossible for me to hold onto a grudge while simultaneously wishing God would bless someone. Perhaps in return God is blessing me with forgiveness? It might not happen immediately, but just keep praying for the people who have hurt you and you will forgive them.
 
I struggle with this too.Not only unfriendly but downright rude people.That raises a visceral negative feelings in me.I am a pretty friendly person and I have noticed most people do not want to make eye contact.I finally decided this is largely due to our social media centered lifestyle.Most lack interpersonal,basic social skills as most of their interaction is via the Internet. It most likely isn’t personal,just lack of manners…
Having said that,I try to remember how Our Lord was mocked,spat upon and rejected.This helps me to put things in perspective.🙏
 
Honestly? I curse them as horrible Godless people and pray that the Lord smites them the same way he handled folks Old Testament style. Then I judge their internal state of the souls, and proclaim them to be wicked dark people who are akin to demons on earth. Unworthy to even call themselves human and hope they die a horrible death and get to hell as quick as they can before they have the opportunity to hurt others.

…something I try to work on, not a good attitude to have 🤷
I believe puzzledtoo is right about pondering The Lord’s Prayer. You could always obtain some laminated prayer cards with it printed on the back. By repeating it over and over to yourself and reflecting on it’s meanings, it can really soften your heart and lead you to a healthier, more Christ-like you.

Another thought worth repeating silently to yourself and pondering over, is the quote attributed to Philo of Alexandria: Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. Even just smiling and being friendly toward people who you perceive as Godless and unfriendly would be an enormous help to you. Remember, God doesn’t judge us by our thoughts, but by our actions. If you’re feeling bad about something or toward someone, it’s wise to simply ignore your thoughts altogether and to focus entirely on your words and deeds.

Normally, we think of our thoughts and feelings as purely a response to our inner emotional state, but this isn’t entirely true; it works both ways. When we see someone we like we feel affection and we smile, but it’s also true that when we deliberately and purposefully smile our emotions and state of mind are affected. In this way, we have some measure of control over our feelings. So, if you harbor dark thoughts and malice toward someone, rather than pointlessly wrestling with your psyche itself, you can always choose to act or speak charitably. You have direct control over your words and actions, whereas you can’t control emotional responses simply by thinking about them.
 
…forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us… Meditate on this verse a bit. Blessings and be well.
👍 That verse has always struck me very deeply. When I pray the Our Father, I am literally praying for God to dispense forgiveness to me to the extent that I give it to others. Since I really want God to give forgiveness to me quite liberally, I tend to bend over backwards trying to give people the benefit of the doubt and not hold a grudge. I reflect on what terrible thing must have happened in their past for them to feel justified in behaving in such a way. It makes me feel pity much more than anger.
 
I pray for them. I do not judge; I do not know what’s going on their lives.
 
Everybody has their own story…usually there’s a reason why people behave the way they do…I’ve found it’s easier to dislike someone when you don’t know their story, where they came from, what experiences they may have endured. When I think that this person may have suffered things I never experienced, it puts things in perspective. Some people do live with a chip on their shoulder.

I think the people who treat others this way are unhappy, and it makes me sad. I find praying for them is helpful. The worst thing you can do is be prideful and compare yourself to them. You won’t change anyone without love.
 
Everybody has their own story…usually there’s a reason why people behave the way they do…I’ve found it’s easier to dislike someone when you don’t know their story, where they came from, what experiences they may have endured. When I think that this person may have suffered things I never experienced, it puts things in perspective. Some people do live with a chip on their shoulder.

I think the people who treat others this way are unhappy, and it makes me sad. I find praying for them is helpful. The worst thing you can do is be prideful and compare yourself to them. You won’t change anyone without love.
This is very true. Also, sometimes people really don’t know how they appear to others. Sometimes people appear unfriendly or uncooperative, but they’re actually just shy or socially awkward. But even if they did do wrong, I know that God has forgiven me a lot more. God is a lot better than I am–by comparison, I am only a little better than the worst person I am likely to meet, because God is so great.

I find thinking that way helps.

–Jen
 
How do you manage to forgive people who behave unfriendly and treat you bad? I’ve lost count now how many times I’ve said to myself: “What a complete bastard, this person does not deserve my forgiveness, because this person DO behave like a bastard”. This certainly is my Golgotha. How do you do it?
Change the word “Bastard” to misbehaving “Child of God.”
Ask his or her Guardian Angel to speak to this misbehaving “Child of God.”

It may not be wise to say to this person, “You know, your guardian angel does not approve of your behavior.” But put your hand over your mouth and say it quietly under your breath.

Laugh at yourself when you do this. Bring a smile to yourself at how foolish it is to be angry with a such a person.
 
This is very true. Also, sometimes people really don’t know how they appear to others. Sometimes people appear unfriendly or uncooperative, but they’re actually just shy or socially awkward. But even if they did do wrong, I know that God has forgiven me a lot more. God is a lot better than I am–by comparison, I am only a little better than the worst person I am likely to meet, because God is so great.

I find thinking that way helps.

–Jen
I personally dont give a crud what happened to them. Everyone has a history, and has endured some form of trauma. I could have probably used a few more hugs from my father as well, but I in NO WAY take out any resentment or frustration in life against hardworking, and honest people trying their best out of pure spite.

I have ZERO mercy for this type of behavior. Luckily Christ does.
 
I personally dont give a crud what happened to them. Everyone has a history, and has endured some form of trauma. I could have probably used a few more hugs from my father as well, but I in NO WAY take out any resentment or frustration in life against hardworking, and honest people trying their best out of pure spite.

I have ZERO mercy for this type of behavior. Luckily Christ does.
We’re still called to treat others as though they were Christ. Mathew 25. It’s something we should all strive for, so that we can enter into Heaven as a one of our Lord’s sheep, and not be cast out with the goats.
 
I personally dont give a crud what happened to them. Everyone has a history, and has endured some form of trauma. I could have probably used a few more hugs from my father as well, but I in NO WAY take out any resentment or frustration in life against hardworking, and honest people trying their best out of pure spite.

I have ZERO mercy for this type of behavior. Luckily Christ does.
Yes and aren’t we all grateful?
 
How do you manage to forgive people who behave unfriendly and treat you bad? I’ve lost count now how many times I’ve said to myself: “What a complete bastard, this person does not deserve my forgiveness, because this person DO behave like a bastard”. This certainly is my Golgotha. How do you do it?
Oh, it’s mentioned so many times in the Bible of God’s wrath towards unkind treatment to the Faithful.

Put it in God’s hands. Let go and let God, and don’t take it personal. When people are unkind or rude, it’s about them, not you.
 
How do you manage to forgive people who behave unfriendly and treat you bad? I’ve lost count now how many times I’ve said to myself: “What a complete bastard, this person does not deserve my forgiveness, because this person DO behave like a bastard”. This certainly is my Golgotha. How do you do it?
I find it helps if I work out ways to destroy the person in their career, family, health… and then don’t do it. Not destroying is sufficient forgiveness for some. But that is the sort of loving person I am. I am looking for the same margin from the Lord.
 
We can be angry with them and hate them back, but that just makes us the same as them. It just takes up to much negative energy to be angry, it eats away inside of us, I believe this can lead to depression and mental illness, if we hold onto this anger for five, ten twenty years.
 
Polluted,
Please take a look at your post #13 “…but I in NO WAY take out…” and then reread some of your other posts on different threads. I think you’ll find you’ve been kidding yourself about not taking things out on others. Some of your posts I’ve read have been quite toxic and uncharitable.
May you be filled with loving kindness. May you be well. May you be peaceful and at ease. May you be happy. Blessings to you and yours.
 
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