Unhappy Catholic Lawyers

[seakelp]

When I was young (a million years ago) I met a wonderful young woman, and fell deeply in love with her. She met someone else, and ultimately married him. I still know her, and while she’s still a great person, I know that I was saved from a bad fate by the hand of God. Indeed, in this category, I’ve been so saved twice.

When I determined to go to law school, I over road an instinct not to, and loved law school. When I first graduated, worried about getting a job, I took a “good” one that was offered to me. A couple of years later, I was offered an exit into another area after working to get that offer, but declined by overriding an instinct in favor of rational logic.

My point? I understand your pain, and envy your position. This may be a trial you must endure, but be open to the possibility that you might be getting saved from something. I know that sounds like no comfort at all, but of the several experienced lawyers, some very experienced, posting in this thread, and another one in another section on the LSAT, you’re hearing from just one single one so far who is really happy with his career, and a bunch who are not.

Thanks for the comments, Yeoman.

I will definitely keep your words in mind. I was thinking the other day of this great story that Sartre actually told. He said when he was in prison during WWII, he met a Jesuit priest who was also imprisoned. The Jesuit told Sartre his life story, and it went like this: basically, the man had failed at everything in life. He tried to go to school, but he wasn’t smart enough. He tried to marry a girl he loved, but she didn’t love him back. He tried to join the army, but he was too weak.

And so on and so on. This guy had failed at literally almost everything he had done. But instead of falling into a feeling of despair, he instead took it as a sign from God that he wasn’t destined for worldly success. That’s what caused him to join the Jesuits and become a priest.

I think a lot about that story. These days, as I really start to worry about getting a job, I wonder if God is calling me to a different vocation. Not a priestly one (I don’t think), but maybe a different one than being a lawyer?

It’s just that I have wanted to be a lawyer since I was 19. I especially want to become a prosecutor. I had some experiences earlier in my life that exposed me to the criminal justice system, and I know that there is a great need for prosecutors who are respectful and compassionate even to defendants. I felt like I could fulfill that role.

I love trials. I love appeals. I love legal writing and research. I really enjoy all of it. But maybe it’s selfish of me, maybe I need to discern another vocation.

Anyway, I’m just so depressed about the future. I can’t believe I don’t have a job - nearly all of my other friends do. I don’t even want to go work at a big firm and make a lot of money! I just want to have a job where I can make a meaningful and good impact on the lives of others, ad maiorem Dei gloriam.

Sorry for the rant - it’s just hard to talk about this with my friends (who are not Catholic and who have jobs) and family (who aren’t lawyers and don’t understand what the legal world is like).

 

[Ridgerunner]

It’s just that I have wanted to be a lawyer since I was 19. I especially want to become a prosecutor. I had some experiences earlier in my life that exposed me to the criminal justice system, and I know that there is a great need for prosecutors who are respectful and compassionate even to defendants. I felt like I could fulfill that role.

I love trials. I love appeals. I love legal writing and research. I really enjoy all of it. But maybe it’s selfish of me, maybe I need to discern another vocation.

Anyway, I’m just so depressed about the future. I can’t believe I don’t have a job - nearly all of my other friends do. I don’t even want to go work at a big firm and make a lot of money! I just want to have a job where I can make a meaningful and good impact on the lives of others, ad maiorem Dei gloriam.

Sorry for the rant - it’s just hard to talk about this with my friends (who are not Catholic and who have jobs) and family (who aren’t lawyers and don’t understand what the legal world is like).

Have you given any thought to making the rounds of municipalities and law firms to see about that “extra work” a lot of them just can’t seem to get done?

I have a daughter who is a lawyer. She was an assistant prosecutor, full time, and really liked it. Tried major felonies. But then she had a child and she and her husband agreed she would be a “stay at home mom”. She lives in a big city, and cast around for those “extra” things; docket calls, motions, preliminary hearings lawyers would rather not spend their time doing. Now and then she will appear for some city attorney in traffic court. She doesn’t make a lot doing that, but it is some money and “keeps her in the game”, consistent with being a stay at home mom. (Their child is babysat by “grandma” on those occasions, and everybody is happy with it.) Besides, she has proven herself to a lot of lawyers in the course of it. If someday she returns to full time, she will have a lot of contacts for whom she has proven her worth.

 

[LionsDen66]

It’s just that I have wanted to be a lawyer since I was 19. I especially want to become a prosecutor. I had some experiences earlier in my life that exposed me to the criminal justice system, and I know that there is a great need for prosecutors who are respectful and compassionate even to defendants. I felt like I could fulfill that role.

I love trials. I love appeals. I love legal writing and research. I really enjoy all of it. But maybe it’s selfish of me, maybe I need to discern another vocation.

Anyway, I’m just so depressed about the future. I can’t believe I don’t have a job - nearly all of my other friends do. I don’t even want to go work at a big firm and make a lot of money! I just want to have a job where I can make a meaningful and good impact on the lives of others, ad maiorem Dei gloriam.

Sorry for the rant - it’s just hard to talk about this with my friends (who are not Catholic and who have jobs) and family (who aren’t lawyers and don’t understand what the legal world is like).

Don’t lose heart – or your desire to make a difference in people’s lives. I’m encouraged that there are young people in the profession with your desire to affect lives. I spent my first 7 years as a prosecutor in a large office – 85+ lawyers. I enjoyed it at first, but it lost its luster when I came to realize that the criminal justice system is not what it appears on TV (or even while in school). It really is just a shell game of sorts, with all participants having agendas and hidden motives. And everyone lies – defendants, victims, witnesses and police officers. The oath is mere formality without substance. You would really enjoy juvenile court – a place where you can really make a difference in young people’s lives – even as a prosecutor. It may be necessary for you to move, but don’t give up looking for a job as a prosecutor. You’re right that you won’t make any money – but leaving a legacy and having an impact is so much more valuable than your portfolio. You might also look for work in the non-profit world. Difference-makers live there. Peace to you, my friend.

 

[Yeoman]

While the law industry has an oversupply of lawyers in the country right now, based upon what I’ve been reading prosecutors offices and public defenders offices (neither of which I have any personal experience with) in those regions that are experiencing oil booms right now are in need of them.

As I have no personal experience with this at all, this is really in the nature of just passed on information, and I may be off the mark. But you may wish to investigate that a little, and those regions somewhat, and see if that looks like something you might be interested in. Proceed in an informed manner, of course.

 

[Yeoman]

I read an article in the Atlantic this morning (work avoidance) noting that there’s now an increasing belief that the “cube farm” environment that we’ve created for ourselves is inconsistent with our natural desire to be out doors in a natural environment. I have to say that, while that isn’t directly related to this thread, that really hits home with me, and I wish I’d paid better attention to my natural likes and desires early on.

Which vaguely leads me to the next thing. In my inbox this morning was one of those links from some law list I subscribe to about how to be a “happy lawyer” written by a probably happy lawyer. The advice isn’t bad and it has merit to it, such as get outside, get exercise, etc. But the gist of it is that if only we do these things, we’ll be happy in our work.

I wonder how many of us lawyers who are sidetracked into something we don’t like doing are faced with that sort of view generally. The problem is us, which may be pretty true, in the view of our friends and family, and if only we did a, b, or c, we’d suddenly find meaning, value and happiness in our profession.

I know I’ve faced that a lot. “You’re helping people”. “People really like what you do and like your work”. “You’re really good at your work”. “It’s not that bad.” “Take a vacation and you’ll feel fine.” It’s probably a can’t see the forest for the trees type of deal, but to some extent at least I feel that getting out is very difficult and there’s odd forces that conspire to keep a person in place. Probably an inaccurate perception on my part, or a grass is always greener type of deal.

Oh well, back to work.

 

[steve975]

Boy is this thread up my alley. I relate to much of what I’ve read here, notably from Yeoman and LionsDen.

Although I’m not a lawyer, I’ve worked for the government for the better part of 14 years and believe I made a catastrophic mistake in going into this line of work. I am now trying to figure out how to get out, and have been dealing with despairing thoughts regarding the apparent lack of other opportunities as well as the severe moral hole I’ve dug myself into due to being in this line of work.

I am willing to take a significant pay cut as well as sacrifice job security and pension in order to get out (I actually want to make it a point NOT to get my full pension), yet I still see virtually no options for another career that could financially suffice. With a wife and baby, it’s entirely unreasonable to switch into a minimum wage job. And my job experience doesn’t seem to translate well to another professional career. I also struggle with thoughts about how it would be a blessing to get a terminal disease so I can 1) quit and 2) make an honest effort to repent before dying. I haven’t made a full, valid confession for over 2 years and feel that I cannot have an honest, firm purpose of amendment as long as I stay in this line of work. I haven’t received communion in over 2 years. I’m dealing with personal circumstances which I believe preclude me from ever being on sound moral ground while in this line of work.

To add to this, I also utterly hate my job. For a long time, I have been unable to focus while also struggling with OCD-type and anxiety issues and a woeful lack of any motivation. There’s an excellent chance these are symptoms that I brought on myself due to going into/being in a job the Lord doesn’t want me to be in and which I am not morally okay to be in. On an ongoing basis, I have squandered countless hours of not even coming close to performing honest work, perpetually digging myself into an ever-deeper moral hole. And when I do force myself to work, it is an ordeal that fries my brain. My work backlog is awful and I have neither the hope nor intention of ever catching up. I have been dealing with resentment and anger over my job and also over my grave mistakes, including going into this line of work.

This has transferred to my home life, as I have been incredibly miserable for a long time, which has really worn on my wife. I somewhat recently got into a habit of drinking to great excess, which I often lied to my wife about and which helped take my mind off things. This also has caused problems with my wife after she found out.

I have been going for mental health appointments and am on 3 drugs for depression and OCD problems and also have a sleep aid. I’ve also separately been seeing a psychologist.

I do and have prayed a decent amount for a long time, notably with daily rosaries (praying has also been an ordeal for me). My praying has included prayers related to these issues, but certainly not exclusively.

Between the utter hopelessness, depression, anger and anxiety over my huge moral hole, my current job, my career, lack of apparent options for finding something else, the need to fulfill my role as a husband and father, dread over confession and the overwhelming ordeal it will be to finally make a confession given all of the garbage on my conscience, as well as anxiety over what it might take to atone for my sins, I am and have been in a bad place.

For a while now, I have felt as if, in a very large sense, I might have utterly shafted myself and ruined my life. Too bad there isn’t a patron saint I’m aware of for people who have destroyed their lives.

I can relate to some info in here and I hope the Lord helps us all.

 

[Yeoman]

Boy is this thread up my alley. I relate to much of what I’ve read here, notably from Yeoman and LionsDen.

Although I’m not a lawyer, I’ve worked for the government for the better part of 14 years and believe I made a catastrophic mistake in going into this line of work. I am now trying to figure out how to get out, and have been dealing with despairing thoughts regarding the apparent lack of other opportunities as well as the severe moral hole I’ve dug myself into due to being in this line of work.

I am willing to take a significant pay cut as well as sacrifice job security and pension in order to get out (I actually want to make it a point NOT to get my full pension), yet I still see virtually no options for another career that could financially suffice. With a wife and baby, it’s entirely unreasonable to switch into a minimum wage job. And my job experience doesn’t seem to translate well to another professional career. I also struggle with thoughts about how it would be a blessing to get a terminal disease so I can 1) quit and 2) make an honest effort to repent before dying. I haven’t made a full, valid confession for over 2 years and feel that I cannot have an honest, firm purpose of amendment as long as I stay in this line of work. I haven’t received communion in over 2 years. I’m dealing with personal circumstances which I believe preclude me from ever being on sound moral ground while in this line of work.

To add to this, I also utterly hate my job. For a long time, I have been unable to focus while also struggling with OCD-type and anxiety issues and a woeful lack of any motivation. There’s an excellent chance these are symptoms that I brought on myself due to going into/being in a job the Lord doesn’t want me to be in and which I am not morally okay to be in. On an ongoing basis, I have squandered countless hours of not even coming close to performing honest work, perpetually digging myself into an ever-deeper moral hole. And when I do force myself to work, it is an ordeal that fries my brain. My work backlog is awful and I have neither the hope nor intention of ever catching up. I have been dealing with resentment and anger over my job and also over my grave mistakes, including going into this line of work.

This has transferred to my home life, as I have been incredibly miserable for a long time, which has really worn on my wife. I somewhat recently got into a habit of drinking to great excess, which I often lied to my wife about and which helped take my mind off things. This also has caused problems with my wife after she found out.

I have been going for mental health appointments and am on 3 drugs for depression and OCD problems and also have a sleep aid. I’ve also separately been seeing a psychologist.

I do and have prayed a decent amount for a long time, notably with daily rosaries (praying has also been an ordeal for me). My praying has included prayers related to these issues, but certainly not exclusively.

Between the utter hopelessness, depression, anger and anxiety over my huge moral hole, my current job, my career, lack of apparent options for finding something else, the need to fulfill my role as a husband and father, dread over confession and the overwhelming ordeal it will be to finally make a confession given all of the garbage on my conscience, as well as anxiety over what it might take to atone for my sins, I am and have been in a bad place.

For a while now, I have felt as if, in a very large sense, I might have utterly shafted myself and ruined my life. Too bad there isn’t a patron saint I’m aware of for people who have destroyed their lives.

I can relate to some info in here and I hope the Lord helps us all.

My advice here is go to Confession.

No matter how bad you may think things are, they’re not so bad that you can’t go to Confession. You are the only one holding yourself up from going to Confession. I think you have to start there. Make a full Confession and set yourself right with God, and then worry about everything else next.

Confession is one of those things that we or the Devil create roadblocks to. The Priest can handle it, and if you hear Priests talk, there’s almost no situation that they haven’t handled within short order of their Ordination. The Priest who participated in the now on hiatus blog “Catholic Stuff You Should Know”, who started off as a seminarian on the show, noted that he’d heard that when he was a seminarian, and found it to be true in very short order.

So, make up your mind to get to Confession first. Until you do that, I fear that you might not be in the right frame of mind on anything else.

 

[Yeoman]

To add, I go to Confession at least monthly.

And when I used to be able to attend Mass daily,. at noon Mass, I did that. The happiest I’ve ever been as a lawyer is when I could walk up from my office and go to noon Mass every day. They had two parish Priests at that time, and now they only have one, so there’s no more noon Mass, or I’d go.

 

[Yeoman]

Just as one final thought to Steve975, we know Steve isn’t a lawyers, as he’s noted that, but we don’t know what he does. I mention this for the following reason.

One thing that’s very easy for people to do is to assume that something they love is virtuous and that something they hate is corrupt. I don’t mean to suggest that is what Steve is doing, but I’m just noting the inclination, which is a natural one. Indeed, this inclination is so natural that, over time, we can see this tendency in various religions that have departed from the Catholics over time. It’s easy to find examples of non Catholic religions where some human inclination has been raised to a virtue without any actual Scriptural support for it, or alternatively where something has definitively been declared a vice for the same reason. As God protects the Church’s Magisterium, this is something the Church is protected from, but individual Catholics are not, and you’ll find examples of individual Catholics who fall prey to such thinking.

In regards to lawyers, I think it was St. Francis de Sales, who had abandoned a career in the law, who stated that to assume that a Catholic could not be a lawyer and be a faithful Catholic was sinful in and of itself. That is not to say that our occupation does not uniquely place us in a position where we need to guard our souls, as they may be more imperiled than those in some other occupations, but the occupation, as such, is not inherently evil in some fashion. And yet I’ll admit that I myself have found myself tempted by such thoughts simply because I do not like being a lawyer and I accordingly dwell on all the negatives, including the moral ones.

The point is that there are very few occupations which are inherently evil in nature and, therefore, a Catholic in good conscience cannot occupy them. Very few indeed. There are some, but only some. A Catholic couldn’t be an abortionist, for example.

So, I think, when we find ourselves in misery we need to be careful about assuming the occupation that’s causing it, if it is the occupation, is somehow inherently evil. If we were a Catholic in good conscience when we entered it, I dare say it probably isn’t. I think that’s important for Steve to realize, as the situation almost certainly isn’t "I work as a {Occupation here}, which is evil, so I can’t go to Confession. That would never be true, for any occupation, and absent certain rare circumstances, its not generally true for most occupations.

 

[Rarra1985]

I stumbled upon this thread last night and although I am not an attorney, I completely understand the feeling of career dissatisfaction. I have been trying to find a way out of my career for years, interviewing and applying for several positions, considering going back to school, etc. It seems as though I just can’t get out of my field and my job. My situation, just like everyone else’s, is complicated and convoluted so I am going to spare the details. But every once in a while I get inspired and I feel a spiritual strength to take each day, each hour, one at a time. And through prayer I’ve come to realize that what I do every day is truly a labor of complete love and sacrifice. Not love for what I do, but love for the people I serve, people I work for, and God. God has given me a talent, which is still unclear to me, but the talent I have is best served where I am. This is my cross to bear at this point in my life, and I try every day to do it as gracefully as I can. It is difficult sometimes because I have very little reward in what I do, and even though I am a simple person, we all require some sort of reward to continue doing what we do. For me a heartfelt thank you is enough fuel to keep me going, but I can count those heartfelt thank you’s on one hand.

In the meantime, I try and keep myself fulfilled by taking up hobbies that interest me. I see my job as that. A job. A job to sustain my creative pursuits. Everything is transitory and constantly changing, and no one knows what is waiting for them around the corner. I have faith that God has something great waiting for me as I continue on my path of finding a path where I am most fulfilled.

 

[LionsDen66]

Steve, I agree that you should go to Confession as soon as possible. To fear going is, in a sense, asserting that God’s mercy is somehow deficient or not big enough for your brand of sins. That’s just not true. There is nothing evil that you can do (apart from consciously turning your back forever on Him) that is too big for God to forgive. Go confess your sins and be at peace. St. Jude – the Patrol Saint of Lost Causes – might be a good place to start, Steve. Peace of Christ to you.

 

[seakelp]

Have you given any thought to making the rounds of municipalities and law firms to see about that “extra work” a lot of them just can’t seem to get done?

I have a daughter who is a lawyer. She was an assistant prosecutor, full time, and really liked it. Tried major felonies. But then she had a child and she and her husband agreed she would be a “stay at home mom”. She lives in a big city, and cast around for those “extra” things; docket calls, motions, preliminary hearings lawyers would rather not spend their time doing. Now and then she will appear for some city attorney in traffic court. She doesn’t make a lot doing that, but it is some money and “keeps her in the game”, consistent with being a stay at home mom. (Their child is babysat by “grandma” on those occasions, and everybody is happy with it.) Besides, she has proven herself to a lot of lawyers in the course of it. If someday she returns to full time, she will have a lot of contacts for whom she has proven her worth.

Hey, Ridgerunner,

Thanks for the words of encouragement. Yes, I think I might try and do something like this. I am moving to a medium-sized city on the West coast after I graduate. It’s not a huge area, but I’m hoping it will be big enough to scrounge for some work like that. I think in between taking the bar and receiving results I’ll try and do some pro bono work with someone (Catholic Charities or something?). I have some connections to the Catholic community where I am moving, so hopefully someone can point me to some organizations that could use a legal researcher / writer.

My financial situation is okay, but I will need to find a job by the new year or else I might have to start considering non-legal employment. It’s just so frustrating. I feel kind of weirdly ashamed of myself - all of my other friends found jobs without any problems. Part of it is that they are working for firms, where jobs are served up to you. I didn’t go down that path, but now I’m starting to regret it.

Don’t lose heart – or your desire to make a difference in people’s lives. I’m encouraged that there are young people in the profession with your desire to affect lives. I spent my first 7 years as a prosecutor in a large office – 85+ lawyers. I enjoyed it at first, but it lost its luster when I came to realize that the criminal justice system is not what it appears on TV (or even while in school). It really is just a shell game of sorts, with all participants having agendas and hidden motives. And everyone lies – defendants, victims, witnesses and police officers. The oath is mere formality without substance. You would really enjoy juvenile court – a place where you can really make a difference in young people’s lives – even as a prosecutor. It may be necessary for you to move, but don’t give up looking for a job as a prosecutor. You’re right that you won’t make any money – but leaving a legacy and having an impact is so much more valuable than your portfolio. You might also look for work in the non-profit world. Difference-makers live there. Peace to you, my friend.

Thanks LionsDen66. I’m not sure. I kind of imagined myself being a career prosecutor, maybe becoming an AUSA someday and just sticking with that until I die. But now it feels like that won’t ever happen.

I worked at a local prosecutor’s office that was a similar size to the one it sounds like you started out at. That was back in college. I’m hoping that I can try and get a contract position or something with them after I pass the bar (IF I pass the bar, ha ). That would be a good way, I think, to get some experience and make some new connections.

Argh. Sorry. I know this all probably sounds really petty compared to some of you who have practiced for years and hate it. I guess the grass is always greener?

 

[LionsDen66]

Hey, Ridgerunner,

Thanks for the words of encouragement. Yes, I think I might try and do something like this. I am moving to a medium-sized city on the West coast after I graduate. It’s not a huge area, but I’m hoping it will be big enough to scrounge for some work like that. I think in between taking the bar and receiving results I’ll try and do some pro bono work with someone (Catholic Charities or something?). I have some connections to the Catholic community where I am moving, so hopefully someone can point me to some organizations that could use a legal researcher / writer.

My financial situation is okay, but I will need to find a job by the new year or else I might have to start considering non-legal employment. It’s just so frustrating. I feel kind of weirdly ashamed of myself - all of my other friends found jobs without any problems. Part of it is that they are working for firms, where jobs are served up to you. I didn’t go down that path, but now I’m starting to regret it.

Thanks LionsDen66. I’m not sure. I kind of imagined myself being a career prosecutor, maybe becoming an AUSA someday and just sticking with that until I die. But now it feels like that won’t ever happen.

I worked at a local prosecutor’s office that was a similar size to the one it sounds like you started out at. That was back in college. I’m hoping that I can try and get a contract position or something with them after I pass the bar (IF I pass the bar, ha ). That would be a good way, I think, to get some experience and make some new connections.

Argh. Sorry. I know this all probably sounds really petty compared to some of you who have practiced for years and hate it. I guess the grass is always greener?

There is nothing petty about the cross you currently bear. Just keep praying that God opens doors He wants opened and continues to shut those He wants shut. Seek first His Kingdom and (to paraphrase) He’ll help you find your career path. Dominus Vobiscum

 

[DAML72]

Lol! Actually, I think I’ve finally found my niche, and am starting my own estates/elder care practice. About a year and 1/2 ago, the Lord confirmed for me that I needed to be in that area of the law, and he has made it impossible for me to take any detours from that plan no matter how much I wanted to procrastinate by doing other things and making excuses. He has rewarded my patience by placing almost in my lap a way to combine my faith with my legal training. I am so thankful, too, because if I had to do any more litigation support work, my soul surely would not survive.

 

[DAML72]

I can’t speak as a lawyer, only as one who feels victimized by four different lawyers.

You all say you are unhappy as lawyers, and I was wondering if this is because in your profession you must do things that are not always ethical towards your clients.

I ask this only because this has been my families experience with lawyers. Money is their major concern, not their client. Sometimes as we are older we see that we have done things in the past that were not what Christ would have approved of.

I am not trying to be uncharitable, only stating honest truth about what some lawyers have done to our family over the years. So I have no trust in them, nor in some other professions that at one time made oaths to help their patients. My family has been victims and have not received real justice through the court system, nor social services.

I know this sounds really negative, but it seems as if society has been turned upside down these past years and as a younger woman said to me, I just want to have “fun”, as that is what everyone does.

I do understand that certain professional are limited in how far they can actually go to help a client, but I don’t know if that includes lawyers or if, at least the ones we have dealt with are just greedy and care nothing about whether a child has been harmed or a family destroyed, as long as it is worth the financial advantages they receive.

Sorry, I guess I have just gotten to the end of my rope with several so called professionals who claim to help.

Yours in the Hearts of Jesus and Mary

Bernadette

I am sorry, Bernadette, that you have had bad experiences with lawyers. I do think that there are some lawyers out there who are either practicing in areas where they are not equipped to practice, or who are more motivated by money than concern for the clients. But there are some very good people also who are practicing law. But they are people - and sometimes circumstances just don’t allow a good outcome. In fact, it’s rare that anyone walks away from a legal conflict satisfied - it’s just the nature of the beast. That’s one reason why lawyers are so unhappy. Imagine having the burden of handling the most important aspects of people’s lives - usually in the context of trying to undo the mess that they have made by not seeking or following the advice of a lawyer in the first place. And, the entire time you are trying to do your job protecting the interests of someone else in the most important aspect of their lives, there is someone else whose job it is to pick apart everything you do and jump all over and exploit any mistake you make.

Is it any wonder lawyers have extraordinarily high depression and alcoholism rates?

 

[DAML72]

For me, it was simply my childhood dream. I was good at debate/speeches and always told people I was going to be a lawyer. So I became a lawyer. I wish I had put more actual thought into it … or had the benefit of a mentor to tell me “no, don’t do it!”

We had a family friend who is a very successful lawyer in town - he told me “NO! Don’t do it!” I didn’t listen. I told my second cousin, “NO! Don’t do it.” She didn’t listen. She’s still in law school - we’ll see what happens. (But she’ll probably be OK because her Dad is a successful DA, he has probably paid her tuition, and she has an internship with the Dept of Justice.)

 

[DAML72]

Actually, I think I’ve finally found my niche, and am starting my own estates/elder care practice. About a year and 1/2 ago, the Lord confirmed for me that I needed to be in that area of the law, and he has made it impossible for me to take any detours from that plan no matter how much I wanted to procrastinate by doing other things and making excuses. We’ll see how it goes - hope it works out because if I had to go back to doing litigation support work, I think I would lose my soul.

 

[Elostirion]

Hello all, I’ve been reading through some of these posts… Man, you guys are really making me regret my life choices. Even those that haven’t been made yet!

 

[steve975]

I need to look into St. Francis de Sales. Another potential good one to help with these issues may be St. Peter de Geremia.

My advice here is go to Confession.

No matter how bad you may think things are, they’re not so bad that you can’t go to Confession. You are the only one holding yourself up from going to Confession. I think you have to start there. Make a full Confession and set yourself right with God, and then worry about everything else next.

I appreciate your advice, thanks. A problem for me is the whole firm-purpose-of-amendment issue, due to which a Confession is not valid without a firm purpose of amendment. So, for example, if a person is in an adulterous relationship and attempts to make a Confession but while intending to continue the adulterous relationship, then the Confession is invalid. That’s not exactly my situation, but the principle still applies. Due to my personal situation with my job, the only honest logic I can conclude is that quitting the job is required for a true firm purpose of amendment, and that remaining in the job precludes it.

One thing that’s very easy for people to do is to assume that**** something they love is virtuous and that something they hate is corrupt…

The point is that there are very few occupations which are inherently evil in nature and, therefore, a Catholic in good conscience cannot occupy them. Very few indeed. There are some, but only some. A Catholic couldn’t be an abortionist, for example.

So, I think, when we find ourselves in misery we need to be careful about assuming the occupation that’s causing it, if it is the occupation, is somehow inherently evil. If we were a Catholic in good conscience when we entered it, I dare say it probably isn’t. I think that’s important for Steve to realize, as the situation almost certainly isn’t "I work as a {Occupation here}, which is evil, so I can’t go to Confession. That would never be true, for any occupation, and absent certain rare circumstances, its not generally true for most occupations.

Thanks again. I don’t believe that my occupation itself is evil in all cases. But because of personal circumstances, I can’t rationalize that it’s morally okay for me to be in this line of work. It’s tough to explain without getting into some personal problems. I’ve also considered if the reason I hate my job and have been severely struggling to do it is due in large part to this moral problem (as opposed to a perceived moral problem being due to hating the job). And perhaps this hate for the job is a way for God to tell me I need to leave and/or motivate me to do so. Unfortunately, I’ve been much more miserable, hopeless and lazy than motivated.

I used to go to Confession frequently before this current dark period in my life. But now I feel that I need to quit first, which is a pretty hopeless-seeming prospect.

 

[Yeoman]

Hello all, I’ve been reading through some of these posts… Man, you guys are really making me regret my life choices. Even those that haven’t been made yet!

Are you pondering a career in the law?