Unitive "foreplay only" a grave matter?

[Leegal]

In my opinion and it is only my opinion, such foreplay would not be grave matter, if there is always the possibility that should things “become urgent” the act could be completed. In other words as long as there is no danger that a couple might be tempted to relieve arousal symptoms in a non-procreative fashion, masturbation and so forth, it would be OK. One cannot put themselves or another into a near occasion of sin. In all my 50 plus years, including 47 years of marriage, I had never seen or read anything prohibiting such sex play until coming to these forums.

Ditto here. Agree.

 

[Bookcat]

In terms of such signs of affection such “unitive acts” that are sexually stimulating.
One will find as I recall various judgments regarding this matter. Even among orthodox Catholic moral theologians. The Church does not get per se into detail in this area.

Certainly if such leads climax not continuous with the marital act (husband only during intercourse) or to other serious sins mentioned it is gravely disordered. Such comes from the Church’s Teaching in terms of the Marital act and in terms of masturbation etc.

If it is a near occasion of the above (without some necessity etc) such too “can” potentially fall into the grave area. Such is applying the understanding in moral theology in regards to the near occasion to mortal sin. Hence too one can find mention of avoid that which is “vehemently” arousing. Again this is mortal theologians applying principles.

One can also note the “frustration” aspect. So that too can play into considering a particular act.

I think too that certain very directly stimulating actions are in the least are to be avoided when such is not going to be “foreplay”.

So can certain unitive actions such as passionate kissing be possible in marriage outside of foreplay? Yes…but one needs to guided by prudence, chastity and charity.

As to during times when one has a serious reason to abstain for a period of time…well one needs to be particularly prudent (and it may be that one need not abstain due to near occasion of sin anyhow…depends on what the serious reason is in that case…such is part of the NFP use to avoid judgment). Here is a recent article that gives the take of two theologians zenit.org/article-33689?l=english – note that they say “it seems to us”…I imagine that various discussions among theologians as to various aspects of the question can take place…but in general certainly I would say if it is a “near occasion” and one “must avoid relations” then I would avoid that which starts the engines too much for sure…

( PS: As to NFP. The term the Church uses more often in documents in recent years is “serious reasons”.)

 

[Mary_Gail_36]

Mutual incomplete acts which are preparatory to the natural marriage act, are per se’ permitted to married people to whatever extent they are necessary or useful in order to achieve satisfactory intercourse.

Mutual incomplete acts which are not immediately preparatory to intercourse but take place at other times are not per se’ illicit, they too are virtuous and meritorious when used in moderation,

At the very least it can be said that according to solid theological authority, that incomplete mutual acts of married persons, whether in immediate preparation for intercourse or at other times are never gravely sinful as violations of chastity unless they involve serious and unjustifiable risk of orgasm outside the marriage act

.

Quote from Contemporary Moral Theology, Marriage Questions

By Rev John C. Ford, SJ and Gerald Kelly, SJ (1964)

This book carried an Imprimatur and Nihil obstat

 

[Geaux_LSU]

Thank you, guys! That cleared up a bunch.

I was seriously thinking that everytime I came home, instead of kissing and hugging my wife, I’d have to resort to a non-affectionate handshake.

 

[Elle_C]

Ok, here’s a question to those who think that the only intercourse is to procreate within a marriage…
What if a woman is pregnant already, wouldn’t the act of sexual relations with her husband not be to procreate, and just enjoy each other.