Update on DS Catholic school

  • Thread starter Thread starter Domer90
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He spills on me and husband begging for help. It’s too late to pull him. If you don’t believe me, I will gladly private you our details and you can see for yourself. I will also sign a HIPPA waiver for the therapists he’s been seeing. That’s how strongly we feel.

God bless, as I am overwhelmed and will respond no more.
 
Woah woah woah! You would violate your sons privacy by signing a HIPPA waiver for someone in the internet? As an extremely high functioning adult who is on the Autism Spectrum, and a Para Educator; I find that to be horrifying! I would have been mortified and heartbroken if my parents did that!
 
Agree.

I would likely be making a report to the licensing board or director of the clinic (if it is affiliated with a large group).

Our OP seems to run into the most interesting (?) people!
 
That makes sense.

We who work for the parish have ethical boundaries, we should not, we cannot discuss things. We assure people that we are held to the same if not higher standards than people who work in medical offices. That puts them at ease.
 
Heck, when I was a teen if we were doing something untoward, we would first check and see if there were any adults we knew around! I’d not be surprised if the girls saw a mom they know and decided to rattle her chain by making such a brazen request.
 
For certain. I had access to a car. I didn’t even go to the local corner pharmacy or Revco to buy tampons. 😆😆
 
I was being a bit sarcastic, but this thread came just in time to report that my son was punched in school today.
 
Domer90 said:
If my REC gradeschoolers can get it, and if public school middle schoolers can get, it’s really tough for me how high school kids can’t get it.
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This is not true Domer. Your history states that your son had difficulties outside of mass with 2 middle school girls, while he was homeschooled.
You stated they kicked him for no other reason then he was goodlooking.

I asked you to drop these threads because a smear campaign against a Catholic school or another teen is retaliation and a form of bullying. Your threads are filled with things such as the school encourages ISIS sympathizers and other ridiculous things.
Doing things and stating like this is not leading anyone to Jesus, including your son. It is not helping anything or anyone.
I pray that you bring these threads to your therapist.
 
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Ok. Done. But those threads were really old. Is it really necessary to bring them up?

Catholic ed serves a very certain type of student. They claimed they could help my kid but lied. Any evidence I see is from falling student enrollment and transfers.
 
Domer90 said:
They claimed they could help my kid but lied
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That is a pretty serious accusation. Perhaps “they” were simply unable to provide the level of intervention that you as a parent required for your son.

Maybe they were caught in a little of what gets confusing here. In one thread your son has “mild Asperger’s” and in others he seems to be completely unable to communicate or interact with his peers, what one would think of as pretty far on the Autism Spectrum. Every kid is different, and perhaps your child needs a school where a 504 &/or IEP can meet his specific needs. It seems that this school was a bad fit. The inability to reach a mutually beneficial situation is not a lie.
 
TheLittleLady said:
Maybe they were caught in a little of what gets confusing here. In one thread your son has “mild Asperger’s” and in others he seems to be completely unable to communicate or interact with his peers,
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I noticed that, too. He’s also been described as having zero friends in one or some posts while the OP has talked about his buddies in others.
 
Praying for you and your family Domer!! I’m sure it is heartbreaking to see your son suffer.

My younger brother had a lot of problems in school, and my mom took a lot of it to heart until the day she died (he had just graduated high school–barely–at that point). If she had posted on forums back then and read cruel comments, I know it would have been very upsetting to her, particularly because she was very sick at the time too.

I have my own son now and I know it would/will be hard to watch him go through such difficulties. And I’m a mental health professional!! With that, I think a lot of people don’t understand that along with advice posters often are seeking compassion and empathy because they feel so alone in their struggles. I’ve found CAF to be lacking that lately, with some outright harsh replies. Yes I get the need for honest criticism at times, but if it is not nice, well…don’t say it at all. Maybe a kind pm would be better.
 
I guess people want to know exactly what @Domer90 would like or needs from CAF.

Is it just venting? Okay, then people will let her vent and send through encouraging words.

Is it help finding an appropriate Catholic school? Her diocese would be better suited for that.

There is only so much a bunch of internet strangers, however kind and considerate, can do in a Catholic forum. There are forums focussed around parents with autistic children, and many other resources that are better at equipping OP with knowledge or access to help.
 
Yes, exactly. I don’t post often but have also been a member for about as long as you. Lately there just seems to be this gleeful joy in being a detective and finding the trolls rather than genuinely helping people.

I can tell you from years as a therapist that yes, people do lie and make up stories for various reasons, but a lot of “wild” stories are true. I don’t see this being a wild story at all though; I can definitely see it happening. I don’t think there’s anything wrong or inappropriate about domer’s concern. My family went through a lot with our Catholic school and archdiocese with my brother. And having been bullied in a Catholic school myself (by girls who would then put on their angelic faces and deny wrongdoing), I know administrators often look the other way or don’t do much, or side with the bully. For what its worth, I’ve worked in schools as a therapist too, so I’ve seen things from different perspectives.

At any rate, Domer is backing off and yet posters keep “attacking”. I think it’s pretty clear that she just wants to be heard and validated, with compassion, because I’m sure she’s upset and not getting much real life support. If you disagree, there are kind, Christian ways to get your point across. (I remember posting some silly stuff about guy trouble here when I was younger, and people were always nice in their replies, despite it being obvious that I needed to leave whatever silly situation I was in at the time. Now I’m afraid of the responses I’d get!)
 
I don’t think OP is a troll. I think her concern for her child is genuine.

However, OP has several threads running at the same time, and there are significant inconsistencies in what she has posted. I haven’t gone back and re-read anything. I do, however, have an excellent memory. The inconsistencies aren’t related to “small” issues, either.

The impression I get is that some professional guidance through counseling and/or therapy is what will help OP work through her current situation. That is what I would advise. We aren’t living her life, and we can only go by what she reports here if we are to make suggestions to her. The information she is providing seems (to me) to be too fragmented with quite a bit of personal perception that may or may not accurately reflect the reality of her child’s experience.
 
Final update:

Our whole family gets therapy.

He has buddies…aka acquaintances…but we do not consider them friends. He does have one bestie.
He doesn’t speak out not because he can’t; rather he won’t. He turns the other cheek.
I have gotten more respect and compassion volunteering in a soup kitchen.

Thank you for those who knew me way back (you know who you are). Goodbye forever. I hope you have a nice life.
 
Seems some people like to run others off CAF like it’s their own personal clubhouse to say who is welcome and who is not.

Written comments on a forum are already a more difficult way to communicate nuance and detail and then you have the problem of many different people interpreting what they are reading in different ways. Personal suspicions that are unfounded don’t seem to me like a good reason to start implying a person is a troll or a liar. It seems better to just ignore any threads that seem suspicious or keep an eye at a distance. If there’s a real problem, it will show up soon enough. There were plenty of members who didn’t have a problem with the threads and were willing to encourage and give advice. There’s nothing out of line about that on a public forum.

I don’t think that not liking a particular poster’s parenting or communication style is a reason to run them off CAF. It’s true that some problems do need professional outside help but that doesn’t mean that excludes those seeking advice from getting it here as well.
 
Elizabeth3 said:
Seems some people like to run others off CAF like it’s their own personal clubhouse to say who is welcome and who is not.

Written comments on a forum are already a more difficult way to communicate nuance and detail and then you have the problem of many different people interpreting what they are reading in different ways. Personal suspicions that are unfounded don’t seem to me like a good reason to start implying a person is a troll or a liar. It seems better to just ignore any threads that seem suspicious or keep an eye at a distance. If there’s a real problem, it will show up soon enough. There were plenty of members who didn’t have a problem with the threads and were willing to encourage and give advice. There’s nothing out of line about that on a public forum.

I don’t think that not liking a particular poster’s parenting or communication style is a reason to run them off CAF. It’s true that some problems do need professional outside help but that doesn’t mean that excludes those seeking advice from getting it here as well.
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Actually the depth of the details is starting to get, well, too deep - and she should consult an attorney. I can’t and won’t fault someone for venting. But she needs a lawyer, and because of that, she really shouldn’t discuss any of this any further.
 
I understand that. What I don’t understand is the hostile tone many seem to take. It’s a public forum. If an anonymous post is getting to someone to the point where they get annoyed or frustrated, they should just avoid the thread and let those who want to continue to converse to do so. Especially since it’s not a heated debate, but someone seeking advice or support.

If someone thinks the details are getting too deep, then flag it and let the mods decide. What I don’t agree with is telling someone to get off the forum or to stop the conversation here. As long as there are people willing to engage, support, advise etc and nothing flag worthy is being said, then it’s fine. Anyone who has said their 2 cents but gets frustrated that the OP isn’t taking their advice or indicates the advice won’t work for their situation, can choose not to respond any longer.

It’s one thing for someone to say “I advise getting an attorney at this point and consider having your thread deleted in case the other party finds it and possibly uses it against you.”

It’s another for people to make accusations of it all being too sensational to believe or nitpicking what seems to be inconsistencies but may just be missed details or nuances that didn’t come across in writing and showing annoyance with the OP rather than just kindly asking for clarification.
 
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