Upset over my marriage convalidation

  • Thread starter Thread starter Balletgirl
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Balletgirl said:
I don’t think this is how Jesus wanted it. I’m sorry I just don’t
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If you truly don’t believe Jesus gave the authority to the Church, then you have choices:
  1. Don’t convalidate your marriage
  2. Do convalidate it now for the sake of your husband
  3. Wait to make the decision
    It’s your free choice.
If you choose not to or you choose to wait, then your husband can speak to the priest to find out what his choices are if he still wants to pursue the Sacraments this Easter.
 
Witness to a marriage must be human and alive. They can be pagans, monkey worshipping cultists or even non-practicing Christians.
 
I don’t understand your question.
Our witness sign the paperwork and are the ones in attendance to be maid of honor and best man. But yes anyone can watch.
If that’s what your asking.
 
Balletgirl said:
I don’t understand your question.
Our witness sign the paperwork and are the ones in attendance to be maid of honor and best man. But yes anyone can watch.
If that’s what your asking.
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The MOH and BM have to be the “witnesses”?

It never seemed to come up when I was married or had it convalidated.
 
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That does not matter. They are witnesses, not sponsors or mentors or examples.
 
I am sorry if this puts a damper on the convalidation process on the way to becoming a practicing Catholic.
But try to keep your eyes on the prize.
Prayers go out to you. 🙏🙏🙏
 
Does anyone know how much the norms here vary by country? I know the OP is uncomfortable with revealing her location, but it does come up sometimes that many of us are approaching the situation with norms in the USA.
 
Life is all about jumping over hurdles, those that are necessary and those that are not necessary.
Ultimately, joining the Catholic Church is the main thing.
 
TomH1 said:
Canon Law only requires witnesses. It makes no stipulations about their qualifications. You need to be assertive but not rude and do this quickly because time is pressing. Talk to your pastor and ask him specifically to tell you where it says the witnesses must satisfy the requirements he is intending to impose. If he cannot (and he cannot!) or will not, contact your diocesan chancery as a matter of urgency.
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Right. She certainly could choose to make an issue of it and follow this path. With 2 weeks until the convalidation, and 3 weeks till Easter, I wouldn’t necessarily advocate taking that course, though. She has to live with the consequences of going over the pastor’s head to the bishop. It’s not how I would want to start off my life in the Church.
 
The witnesses are NOT your maid of honor and best man (though that can happen).

In a normal Catholic wedding, the witnesses can be sitting in the pews while the Best Man & Maid of Honor can both be non-Catholics.

The witnesses ARE NOT a position of honor. Now, they can be, but they typically are not. They are just two practicing Catholics who sign that they are present.

Actually, during many Catholic weddings the witnesses wind up being two staff members (sometimes the organist and cantor)

So please do not let this bother you. The witnesses are just a requirement of Canon Law to verify that the priest witnessed your wedding.

Heck, many times the witnesses (when they are staff members) are not even invited to the reception.

God Bless
 
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Balletgirl said:
No it was my RCIA leader that warned me about one witness being catholic. She told me to talk with father to make sure. And it was true. And father added that they have to be married.
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The witnesses do not have to be Catholic. The best man and maid or matron of honor do not need to be the witnesses.
 
Look at it this way: The eyes of the Church are the eyes of God. Does this disappoint us at times?

Yes.

It is for the ultimate good of all - we simply cannot see that at this point. You did not ask, but I would be more concerned about the fact of convalidation than who was present.
 
po18guy said:
I would be more concerned about the fact of convalidation than who was present.
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This much is definitely true. I’m confused by what the OP is reporting but with the convalidation (in general) and also Easter so close… a convalidation is important. I know we hit frustrating hurdles sometimes, but we should be careful not to miss the forest for the trees.
 
Sorry, I wasn’t asking for a specific location, just thought maybe you didn’t live in North America.
 
Balletgirl said:
Priest wants at least one of them to be catholic, and both witness to be married couple.
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The married couple part is not necessary. But it can surely be his rule. So you just need one married couple there. It can be anyone who fits his requirement.
 
phil19034 said:
The witnesses are NOT you maid of honor and best man.

In a normal Catholic wedding, the witnesses can be sitting in the pews while the Best Man & Maid of Honor can both be non-Catholics.

The witnesses ARE NOT a position of honor. Now, they can be, but they typically are not. They are just two practicing Catholics who sign that they are present.

Actually, during many Catholic weddings the witnesses wind up being two staff members (sometimes the organist and cantor)

So please do not let this bother you. The witnesses are just a requirement of Canon Law to verify that the priest witnessed your wedding.

Heck, many times the witnesses (when they are staff members) are not even invited to the reception.

God Bless
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The only Catholic weddings I’ve seen where the MoH and BM were not the witnesses were wedding where there was no MoH and no BM.

In the case of my parents and a lot of my cousins, the witnesses were the fathers of the bride and groom. They were the ones who stood with the couples. In one cousin’s case my dad was the witness because my uncle had died many years before and Dad had become the father figure in his life.
 
I don’t think we’ve heard the whole story here. Because this seems to be such an odd requirement there is certainly more going on than what the OP has let on.
 
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