Urgent Sterilization/Mortal Sin Question

[brendenseth]

I haven’t read all of the replies, but you say her life depends on it? I have a good friend who had breast cancer, and the doctors all told her to get an IUD. I was surprised when she absolutely refused it. It’s what got me into NFP, now my wife and I practice it and it really is more effective than birth control. We use Creighton and my wife has really irregular cycles as well. It doesn’t make a bit of difference, there’s also doctors who can read the charts and diagnose problems from them. I was so afraid after our first baby that she would get pregnant again. I should mention that my wife and I both have brain injuries, so we experience very bad short term memory problems. This doesn’t matter one bit, when you give it to Jesus like I have done many times you won’t be let down. Please don’t give in and do anything against church teachings. I will pray for you, this life is so short but heaven is for eternity just remember that.

 

[Cariethra]

I’m going to speak from a woman’s perspective.

For some background to my oppinion:

I have had 5 pregnancies 3 successful. All c-sections. Even my miscarriages needed medical intervention. I spend the first 25 weeks in the bathroom or asleep, because I’m so sick. I have never gained weight during any pregnancy. I spent 2 months in the hospital last year on bed rest after a hemorrhaged at 28 weeks. At 33 weeks I contracted an unknown infection. My son was born at 36 weeks and while he was breathing when he was born, he started to struggle within a minute of birth. He has a heart murmur and was diagnosed with sepsis from birth. They found out at that point that half of the placenta had died and my body calcified it in order to save him (which is where the infection came from).

I have hemorrhaged after all 5 pregnancies, and have gotten some infection from 2. It was found out a few month after my youngest was born that I also have a hole in my heart and the PICC lines I had could have killed me, especially since they kept clogging.

Ok so… it is hard. I feel like I can’t satisfy my husband. The fear is very real. Often times the fear kills the mood. Other times I just break down crying. I feel broken and a failure, especially when I look how other women have babies so easily.

We do technically use NFP. But we are extremely cautious. Faith has a lot to do with it. I have to keep reminding myself that this cross is something I have to bear, but not alone. I have to reach out to not only my husband but the rest of my family, and ask them to help me. PPD is a huge factor and something I still fight with. I just have remind myself that God is with me when I feel the most alone.

There are times where I wonder if I should have agreed to having a hysterectomy when I was asked. But I then remember that fear I felt when for a while I thought I wouldn’t have a choice. How much more broken I would feel.

I highly recommend that your wife find a way to draw herself closer to God. Prayer is extremely powerful in these cases. I find that St. Francis de Sales is the most inspirational. He spoke to women often about their inner torments on things such as this.

 

[Joe_5859]

Just an FYI, this thread is 5 months old and the OP hasn’t logged into CAF in the past 2 months. He may be in a different spot now than he was when the conversation began.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

Hopefully that spot is not on the couch with an icepack on his lap…

I would choose God over my spouse any day. And I hope my wife would do the same.

The end of marriage is to help each other get to heaven.