US bishop urges men to ‘step up’ and end crisis of masculinity

[irishpatrick]

So beautiful and true! Christ Jesus is the embodiment of authentic masculinity in the same way as our Blessed Mother is the authentic embodiment of femininity! Both are radically different than what the world says they are!

Thank you. I feel we often forget the perfect role model we have in Christ, and in His Mother.

 

[Mongo]

It is a good video, but I think the problem is much broader than men not stepping up. There is an actual war against men and the family. We are treated as if we are oppressors of women (and minorities if we happen to be white). The feminist and progressive push is against male leadership. The only time male leadership is accepted is when it furthers feminism and progressivism. The increase in no fault divorce (which is usually initiated by women) doesn’t help either.

 

[mexolic]

Fathers need to practice their faith at home. Attend Mass with their children. Have family discussions at the dinner table (cell phones put away and television turned off). Parents enroll their children in catechism classes. But many of them won’t practice their faith. I think that’s a good opportunity for the parish church to encourage the fathers about activities it may have. Family bible study, men’s devotional bible study, retreats etc.

 

[JimG]

Here is an article from the Homiletic and Pastoral Review having to do with the concept of masculinity in the seminary. Judging by the seminarians of my own diocese, I don’t think this is a major problem, not around here anyway. Maybe it was in the past, or maybe it was in some seminaries.

hprweb.com/2015/07/the-forgotten-vice-in-seminary-formation/

 

[oneofmany]

My Parish is teaching this program now. My husband and many of the men signed up to hear the talks. We think it’s very good.

 

[Tony_Micelli]

meh, the problem is our culture mostly. now men are falling behind women in med school and in college. we dont have a strong idea of family and appropriate roles because our catholic culture is absent. we’re pretty much like everyone else now and have been absorbed into a materialistic secular worldview.

this video isn’t going to fix that.

 

[chaplainmom]

Thank you God that I’ve been blessed to be married to a “real man.” I would not be where I am today without my husband of 20 years. Without him, I would be run over by my two boys. I pray for single mothers. I tell my boys that when the grow up they need to do their best to donate time, money, and resources to help single mothers. Real Christlike men - more than anything else this is what our country needs the most.

 

[starshiptrooper]

I am in my early 20’s and presumably the target demographic for this video. I am really tired of hearing shaming language like this directed at me and others like me. Why are men avoiding marriage and fatherhood now? It is quite simple really. The risks are higher and the rewards are less. Let us take a good hard look at the facts.

1. Being a father and a husband used to earn you respect. Now fathers are continually portrayed in the media as incompetent dolts.
2. The article acknowledges that 50% of all marriages end in divorce. What it does not mention is that 70% of all divorces are initiated by the woman. What happens to a man during a divorce? He loses 50% of all property and a sizable chunk of his future earnings.

He is unlikely to have custody of his children as the default position of the courts is to give it to the mother. She in turn does not have to prove that the child support is actually being spent on the children who will have little contact with their father.

1. Laws governing other aspects of relationships are also biased against men. The way domestic violence laws are written the United States, the predominant aggressor policies in many states ensure that ceteris paribus, only the male party will be arrested.
2. Men have no reproductive rights. Our only choices are celibacy or full responsibility for even nonconsensual sexual activity. Women have the ability to unilaterally abort the child, give it up for adoption, or use the state to extract child support from the father.

usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2014/09/02/statutory-rape-victim-child-support/14953965/

1. Men are deemed rapists and batters who need to control their dangerous impulses via skewed statistics.

If society wants to exploit and demonize young men, we have no reason to support it. That is why so many men are going Galt.

One more thing. This video talks at length about the need for men to leaders and protectors. Who needs to be protected and led then? They would never deliver the complementary message to women, that would be sexist.

 

[clem456]

Then how do you define masculinity with no cultural attachments?

Do you accept the common observation that human beings are either

1. men
   or
2. women?

If you do, what does it mean to be male? And how are we to speak of this using common language?
The traits that compose and describe what it means to be “male” could be summarized in our language as “masculinity”, eh?

Men have bodies that are male, united to souls. All this is expressed in personality, spirituality, behavior.
Women have different bodies united to souls with all the corresponding attributes.
Femininity.

 

[Bruised_Reed]

This reminds me of an article by Anthony Esolen on the subject of masculinity. A quote:

“Consider Luke. …He is a boy: vir futurus, a going-to-be man. Meaning: He will join other men, brothers fighting to attain or defend the common good. Greater meaning: He is made for a self-giving that is categorically impossible among his male friends. He is made for a woman. It is the orientation of his body, in its sexual form. It is the orientation of his masculine being, developing in a natural and healthy way.
None of this should be controversial, no more than claiming that the noonday sky is blue. … A boy is not a girl. A boy grows up to be a man. A man marries a woman, for love and for a family: That goal is stamped upon his body. Even savages without a doctorate in philosophy can figure it out.”
Source

Where does this leave priests and other singles and celibates?

 

[Bruised_Reed]

Are the Bishops talking about masculinity or fatherhood? Two different things, don’t you think? And as to masculinity, isn’t that a rather subjective term? Culture has a whole lot to do with the definition of the term.

Yes.

Are they?

I’d saw by “masculinity” they mean “living up to your duties and expectations as a man” as described by Christ, in the Bible, and in the Church. And that involves being a father, Father, or father-figure.

Masculinity and fatherhood are inexorably linked. One feeds into the other.

And yes, culture has warped and perverted the notion of masculinity. It is time men stood up and started acting like real men again instead of the culture’s definition of men.

And what does this mean to me as a single adult woman?

 

[graciew]

I am in my early 20’s and presumably the target demographic for this video. I am really tired of hearing shaming language like this directed at me and others like me. Why are men avoiding marriage and fatherhood now? It is quite simple really. The risks are higher and the rewards are less. Let us take a good hard look at the facts.

1. Being a father and a husband used to earn you respect. Now fathers are continually portrayed in the media as incompetent dolts.
2. The article acknowledges that 50% of all marriages end in divorce. What it does not mention is that 70% of all divorces are initiated by the woman. What happens to a man during a divorce? He loses 50% of all property and a sizable chunk of his future earnings.

He is unlikely to have custody of his children as the default position of the courts is to give it to the mother. She in turn does not have to prove that the child support is actually being spent on the children who will have little contact with their father.

1. Laws governing other aspects of relationships are also biased against men. The way domestic violence laws are written the United States, the predominant aggressor policies in many states ensure that ceteris paribus, only the male party will be arrested.
2. Men have no reproductive rights. Our only choices are celibacy or full responsibility for even nonconsensual sexual activity. Women have the ability to unilaterally abort the child, give it up for adoption, or use the state to extract child support from the father.

usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2014/09/02/statutory-rape-victim-child-support/14953965/

1. Men are deemed rapists and batters who need to control their dangerous impulses via skewed statistics.

If society wants to exploit and demonize young men, we have no reason to support it. That is why so many men are going Galt.

One more thing. This video talks at length about the need for men to leaders and protectors. Who needs to be protected and led then? They would never deliver the complementary message to women, that would be sexist.

Men do not necessarily process all this when they go to work everyday , or hug their kids goodnight , or get the tools to help us out with that engine that won t start…
We do not live our day by day through statistics. We learn daily to look into our husband’s eyes and see how much silent love and protection they give us in their own unique personal way.
I am sorry you read it is not rewarding. I am sorry beautiful stories of daily growth do not come out so often in the news.
Hoping you will find that girl who breaks all statistics and logic and gets you to write your story together. It is possible. Really very possible !!
And maybe that video was not directed to you after all…who knows …
I like the words about your homeland. God bless you !

 

[Bruised_Reed]

It is a good video, but I think the problem is much broader than men not stepping up. There is an actual war against men and the family. We are treated as if we are oppressors of women (and minorities if we happen to be white). The feminist and progressive push is against male leadership. The only time male leadership is accepted is when it furthers feminism and progressivism. The increase in no fault divorce (which is usually initiated by women) doesn’t help either.

If there is any war it is against deadbeats and abusers. Some women stay with a man that is a loser for far too long and both men and women are waking up and realizing they do not need to be beat down or dragged down by someone like this. The attack on the family is from within it and it’s been going on a long time. I blame violence. War, domestic abuse, child abuse. Take away violence and there is are fewer legit reasons for couples to divorce. War leaves behind widows and orphans and also has given women the opportunity to do things many people believed women couldn’t do. Once we figured that out it and that we could make our own money, it was a baby step away from oppression, so money factors in as well. Being able to make a living has probably kept me from being abused or living in poverty.

 

[JackVk]

I am in my early 20’s and presumably the target demographic for this video. I am really tired of hearing shaming language like this directed at me and others like me. Why are men avoiding marriage and fatherhood now? It is quite simple really. The risks are higher and the rewards are less. Let us take a good hard look at the facts.

1. Being a father and a husband used to earn you respect. Now fathers are continually portrayed in the media as incompetent dolts.
2. The article acknowledges that 50% of all marriages end in divorce. What it does not mention is that 70% of all divorces are initiated by the woman. What happens to a man during a divorce? He loses 50% of all property and a sizable chunk of his future earnings.

He is unlikely to have custody of his children as the default position of the courts is to give it to the mother. She in turn does not have to prove that the child support is actually being spent on the children who will have little contact with their father.

1. Laws governing other aspects of relationships are also biased against men. The way domestic violence laws are written the United States, the predominant aggressor policies in many states ensure that ceteris paribus, only the male party will be arrested.
2. Men have no reproductive rights. Our only choices are celibacy or full responsibility for even nonconsensual sexual activity. Women have the ability to unilaterally abort the child, give it up for adoption, or use the state to extract child support from the father.

usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2014/09/02/statutory-rape-victim-child-support/14953965/

1. Men are deemed rapists and batters who need to control their dangerous impulses via skewed statistics.

If society wants to exploit and demonize young men, we have no reason to support it. That is why so many men are going Galt.

One more thing. This video talks at length about the need for men to leaders and protectors. Who needs to be protected and led then? They would never deliver the complementary message to women, that would be sexist.

I’m also in my early 20s and agree with you, starshiptrooper. I hadn’t thought about #4. But the whole “militant Catholic men” thing strikes me as rhetoric that is trying too hard. These types of motivational pep talks don’t seem to realize that chivalry was, by and large, combat etiquette. And not the melodramatic “combat” against the culture; I mean combat involving swords and halberds, trebuchets and maces, blood and guts.

Another reason: I just got out of college. I need to get my feet on the ground and have secure career, before I find a good Catholic woman who is even remotely interested in me. The Christian women who have been interested in me have also been bat-s*** crazy.

I know I sound cynical. I still believe in this link’s message. I’m just jaded. I’m what you all a Knight in Sour Armor.

Addendum: I also agree that “going Galt” sounds awfully attractive these days, what with the nanny state wrapping its tentacles on another aspect of society each day. Part of me just wants to go live out in the wilderness with a rifle, an axe, and the clothes of my back, while everything else falls.

 

[clem456]

Originally Posted by ComplineSanFran View Post
Are the Bishops talking about masculinity or fatherhood? Two different things, don’t you think? And as to masculinity, isn’t that a rather subjective term? Culture has a whole lot to do with the definition of the term.

That’s the problem. Human traits are defined subjectively. No one would deny that every human being has a mixture of personality traits that one might call “feminine” or “masculine”. The problem becomes the denial of the obvious. Men and women are uniquely different, while also the same in many ways. The Church has an expression: “unity through diversity”. If we can’t honor the unique attributes of human beings it will be difficult to find unity.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ARSpade View Post
Are they?

I’d saw by “masculinity” they mean “living up to your duties and expectations as a man” as described by Christ, in the Bible, and in the Church. And that involves being a father, Father, or father-figure.
Quote:
Originally Posted by zz912 View Post
Masculinity and fatherhood are inexorably linked. One feeds into the other.

And yes, culture has warped and perverted the notion of masculinity. It is time men stood up and started acting like real men again instead of the culture’s definition of men.

And what does this mean to me as a single adult woman?

It means that if men and women believe in a deceptive indifference, your dignity as an adult woman is in peril, and so is everyone else’s.

How do you expect your unique dignity and value as a human being to be upheld when the basis for it blows in the wind? Subjective, as was said earlier.

 

[Bruised_Reed]

That’s the problem. Human traits are defined subjectively. No one would deny that every human being has a mixture of personality traits that one might call “feminine” or “masculine”. The problem becomes the denial of the obvious. Men and women are uniquely different, while also the same in many ways. The Church has an expression: “unity through diversity”. If we can’t honor the unique attributes of human beings it will be difficult to find unity.

It means that if men and women believe in a deceptive indifference, your dignity as an adult woman is in peril, and so is everyone else’s.

Perhaps. I don’t see this happening to a degree that a majority would embrace that or a small minority having a significant influence. There is so much ebb and flow that things like that don’t stick

How do you expect your unique dignity and value as a human being to be upheld when the basis for it blows in the wind? Subjective, as was said earlier.

Define “the basis.” Does my unique dignity have to be based on fatherhood? Because that no longer is relevant to me. Fatherhood may be dependent on masculinity but not the other way around. Yes, all men may be called to be fathers as women are called to be mothers, but again, at a certain point fatherhood becomes really abstract for someone like me. Because if you think that someone should fill that role for me now, as an adult, you should know that no one has ever filled that role in any kind of way that I could rely on. It’s not important to me for that reason.

 

[JimG]

Where does this leave priests and other singles and celibates?

Every man, even if single and childless, has within himself the charism of fatherhood, and it may be exercised in various ways, as uncle, as teacher, and in other ways. Priests are called “father” because they act as a father to their parishioners. The same applies to women, who may exercise the charism of motherhood even if single and childless, including the vowed religious.

It is of course to be hoped that actual married fatherhood will be restored to its proper place in society.

 

[Bruised_Reed]

Every man, even if single and childless, has within himself the charism of fatherhood, and it may be exercised in various ways, as uncle, as teacher, and in other ways. Priests are called “father” because they act as a father to their parishioners. The same applies to women, who may exercise the charism of motherhood even if single and childless, including the vowed religious.

It is of course to be hoped that actual married fatherhood will be restored to its proper place in society.

What I was referring to was the bolded:

“Consider Luke. …He is a boy: vir futurus, a going-to-be man. Meaning: He will join other men, brothers fighting to attain or defend the common good. Greater meaning: He is made for a self-giving that is categorically impossible among his male friends. He is made for a woman. It is the orientation of his body, in its sexual form. It is the orientation of his masculine being, developing in a natural and healthy way.
None of this should be controversial, no more than claiming that the noonday sky is blue. … A boy is not a girl. A** boy grows up to be a man. A man marries a woman, for love and for a family: That goal is stamped upon his body. **Even savages without a doctorate in philosophy can figure it out.”

I glanced at the source but not close enough to note if it was Catholic. I doubt it is; non-Catholic Christian sources often overlook the celibate person. But I wasn’t referring to fatherhood. I acknowledged that in post #36.

 

[clem456]

Perhaps. I don’t see this happening to a degree that a majority would embrace that or a small minority having a significant influence. There is so much ebb and flow that things like that don’t stick

Define “the basis.” Does my unique dignity have to be based on fatherhood? Because that no longer is relevant to me. Fatherhood may be dependent on masculinity but not the other way around. Yes, all men may be called to be fathers as women are called to be mothers, but again, at a certain point fatherhood becomes really abstract for someone like me. Because if you think that someone should fill that role for me now, as an adult, you should know that no one has ever filled that role in any kind of way that I could rely on. It’s not important to me for that reason.

I’m not sure quite what you are asking about.
My post was a response to the idea that masculinity, or the traits pertaining to a male, are merely subjective and dependent on the current culture, rather than having a real and enduring basis in our human nature. Culture helps form our attitudes, it is not the ultimate basis for what makes a man a man and a woman a woman,.

I was trying to point out that human beings are objective realities. One of those is that we are male and female, with all that entails.
I was not trying to make any case for fatherhood as the ultimate vocation over and above the single life. The bishop in the OP is not trying to exalt one way of life over others, but to awaken men to their calling as men. He correctly observes that our culture attacks this vocation. The emphasis of his talk might be on fatherhood, but I can’t imagine he is denigrating other states of life, or denigrating femininity.

Simply that indifference to human reality is not a good thing. If we deny what is unique and real about human beings, everyone suffers.
My point of view on this is heavily influenced by Theology of the Body by John Paul 2. TOB has a beautiful exposition of the fulfilled celibate life, and how the whole human being expresses this vocation, in fact it is “preferred” to marriage.

 

[JimG]

What I was referring to was the bolded:

Quote:
“Consider Luke. …He is a boy: vir futurus, a going-to-be man. Meaning: He will join other men, brothers fighting to attain or defend the common good. Greater meaning: He is made for a self-giving that is categorically impossible among his male friends. He is made for a woman. It is the orientation of his body, in its sexual form. It is the orientation of his masculine being, developing in a natural and healthy way.
None of this should be controversial, no more than claiming that the noonday sky is blue. … A boy is not a girl. A boy grows up to be a man. A man marries a woman, for love and for a family: That goal is stamped upon his body. Even savages without a doctorate in philosophy can figure it out.”

I glanced at the source but not close enough to note if it was Catholic. I doubt it is; non-Catholic Christian sources often overlook the celibate person. But I wasn’t referring to fatherhood. I acknowledged that in post #36.

The author of the piece is a Catholic university professor. He was addressing biological sexual differences, and not celibacy in the article. But even the unmarried remain men and women.