Use of the expression "that sucks" in conversation

[SwizzleStick]

Yet the primary definitions in standard dictionaries make me wonder who is doing the stretching.

A generation or so ago when I first heard it used, I would guess nobody consulted the dictionary to determine what it meant. There were certain words that one just learned had negative meanings. I don’t remember when I first heard the term used in that way, but my guess is sometime in high school. Had I heard it in grade school, I would have thought it referred to a calf, an infant or a vacuum cleaner. By the time I was in high school, the meaning had changed. I guess it has changed once again for the current generation of kids, but I still find it vulgar.

 

[SwizzleStick]

… FWIW I don’t allow my kids to say shut up, butt, and several other not so flattering words. I guess I’m a prude extraordinaire.

I don’t allow those words either, so I guess I too am a prude extraordinaire.

 

[Rascalking]

**see now I totally disagree. I wouldn’t be ticked bc it was bad language. I’d be furious at the lack of sportsmanship! **

It’s the fans that scream it to one another. 34,000 NYers screaming. “Boston ____” or the same in Boston. It’s not a lack of sportsmanship, its a lack of class and manners, and another signification of how low our society has become.

Jeez, I’m a 29 year old man and I don’t consider myself a prude by any means. Maybe I am,…

 

[Rob_s_Wife]

So now this has evolved into some conspiracy? Prudes unite against the word SUCK!!!

It really doesn’t have to become yet another us against them debate.

I don’t think badly of them for it, sheesh.

conspiracy? debate war? Naw. not at all. Mild annoyance at best.

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As sad as you find the phrase, I find it sad that common simple innocent phrases pop naughty thoughts in your and others’ minds!

It’s the fans that scream it to one another. 34,000 NYers screaming. “Boston ____” or the same in Boston. It’s not a lack of sportsmanship, its a lack of class and manners, and another signification of how low our society has become.

That IS bad sportsmanship. Picture this, a group of kids playing soccer and the dad’s on the sidelines yelling that the other team sucks. There’d be a sportsmanship issue to deal with there big time.

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jmho.

 

[Whitacre_Girl]

/
I think this is yet another example of people seeing sex in everything, even when it’s not there.

I see this a lot in christian circles. Harmless phrases that get taken WAY out of context and infused with a sexual meaning when there was no sexual meaning intended in the first place. (someone above posted on the origins of the phrase). It’s kind of like what happened with “Oh my God.”

I read that this phrase including “Jesus Christ!” Being shouted when one was in awe or scared was a trained practice. It was something people did years and years ago to call on the name of Jesus in danger, or to think of God when they see something that puts them in awe. A very good, wholesome, and pious practice! Fastforward a few hundred years. In many christian cirlces “oh my God” and “Jesus christ” have become swear words, and something done to “take the Lord’s name in vain.” When I was a protestant, I was trained to stop saying it under pain of hell. Then I re-trained myself to use them properly, and continue to do so to this day, since it was a good practice to use them in the first place if you really are thinking about God/Jesus when you say it.

Same for this word, it has everything todo with the speaker’s intent, and people who take it dirty need to examine their own mind and intentions when they hear to determine why they think it is so bad.

In any case, it is a commonly used cultural phrase that even if the origins were sexual, they are in no way sexual anymore. The same thing with “gay.” Because of the cultural shift of the word, no one walks around calling themself “gay” no matter how happy they are, unless they are truly attracted to men. Language shifts with culture.

 

[JimG]

The same thing with “gay.” Because of the cultural shift of the word, no one walks around calling themself “gay” no matter how happy they are

My old history book had a chapter on the “Gay Nineties.” It was about the 1890’s, not the 1990’s.

Now, I’m just hoping that the difference between “flaunt” and “flout” is not entirely lost.

 

[shannyk]

I’m old enough to remember when the phrase was used by high school boys mainly as a semi-insult to each other, with a specific sexual connotation. “you s***” Over the decades the sexual content was lost and it became a generic phrase.

This is why it still has that connotation to me, of being an insult in that way you describe. Male to male you suck **** or female to female, the same. Maybe not everyone’s peers used it this way but mine did. This is why I find it tacky (not sad) when I hear it said so…casually.

Same for this word, it has everything to do with the speaker’s intent, and people who take it dirty need to examine their own mind and intentions when they hear to determine why they think it is so bad.

This is how I’ve been exposed to the phrase being used, this is why I think it’s tacky. I’m sure not one of you think of a cigarette when you hear the word ‘fag’, because it’s not the context YOU have been exposed to the word being used in. Same goes for me (and apparently many others who are silly and prudish) and suck. I don’t think it’s anything I need to examine my psyche over.

conspiracy? debate war? Naw. not at all. Mild annoyance at best.

well the whole

Yet the primary definitions in standard dictionaries make me wonder who is doing the stretching

.

made it sound a bit paranoid, or something.

So, in short, some people think suck means something and some people think it means nothing. Therefore take into consideration your audience

 

[JimG]

This is why it still has that connotation to me, of being an insult in that way you describe. Male to male you suck **** or female to female, the same. Maybe not everyone’s peers used it this way but mine did. This is why I find it tacky (not sad) when I hear it said so…casually.

My own recollection was that it derived from one of the famous “7 words you can’t say on television,” but was later shortened to make it less offensive. Now, it has (fortunately) devolved even further to the point that it is wholly innocuous, if still rather vulgar. I recall using the original forbidden word, but shortening it to lessen the impact when in polite company.

 

[Phemie]

I don’t allow those words either, so I guess I too am a prude extraordinaire.

I’ve never understood the objection to butt – short for buttocks.

 

[Phemie]

My own recollection was that it derived from one of the famous “7 words you can’t say on television,” but was later shortened to make it less offensive. Now, it has (fortunately) devolved even further to the point that it is wholly innocuous, if still rather vulgar. I recall using the original forbidden word, but shortening it to lessen the impact when in polite company.

When I was in university, back in the early 70s, people were often told to go suck rocks. I never thought anything of it. I only discovered that using 'that sucks!" was offensive when my friend, 15 years older & former nun, told me it offended her. I tried to avoid using the expression around her but it was very difficult.

 

[whatevergirl]

*I think our culture doesn’t appreciate the beautiful English language we have …not so much with this phrase, but in general, we seem to have become sloppy communicators over the decades. Everything is slang now, it seems.

Re: your thoughts on this bmaj, I hadn’t put the sexual connotation to it, really. I’ll have to ponder that one. *

 

[Jennifer_J]

So now this has evolved into some conspiracy? Prudes unite against the word SUCK!!! Good grief, not everything has to be so divisive. It’s a simple as some people having a different connotation of a word for a variety of reasons, maybe upbringing, maybe regional language differences, who knows why. It really doesn’t have to become yet another us against them debate.

You know I noticed when I was in Ireland and Scotland people used the S word and the A word pretty freely, and it wasn’t that they were vulgar, they just used those words as a part of everyday vernacular. I still shuddered every time I heard them, because of what they mean to me. I still think the phrase ‘that sucks’ doesn’t sound that great coming out of peoples’ mouths, and will continue to. I don’t think badly of them for it, sheesh. FWIW I don’t allow my kids to say shut up, butt, and several other not so flattering words. I guess I’m a prude extraordinaire.

The problem in this thread is that some people take it upon themselves to call those who say “that sucks” as somehow less intelligent and definitely morally inferior. Not you, Shanny, but the consistant view on this thread is certainly leaning that way. It’s a linguistic habit, and one that I don’t think holds any immoral connotations. I actually hate hearing “Oh My God” or even OMG (they are even too lazy to take the Lord’s name in vain!) much more than any swear word–because it’s usually used so thoughtlessly.

My kids aren’t allowed to say shut up, but butt is not a problem–that’s short for buttocks and a perfectly acceptable word (unless you are calling someone a butt, that’s very different ) Our home is actually pretty free of any cursing, (until we visit the inlaws and then I censor a lot and remind gram and grandpa that we don’t say those words, please --they have improved over the years!).

 

[SwizzleStick]

I’ve never understood the objection to butt – short for buttocks.

To me it just seems too casual and even crude to say that word, so we say “bottom” at our house. Buttocks is fine, though. Saying that sometimes people butt heads over issues is acceptable too. To me, impressions matter and how one speaks leaves a definite impression. It seems sensible to speak properly to begin with so one does not have to undo and unlearn bad habits that others might not appreciate at a job interview, at school, or on whatever occasion.

 

[mizznicole]

As someone who admits to saying ‘suck,’ I would also raise the point that we use different language for different audiences. I would NEVER say “that sucks” to people older (or younger) than I, unless they acted on a peer level with me. The artful use of slang is…well, an art. I liken it with wit. Perhaps people in my particular age group are too influenced by irony.

 

[bmaj]

So now this has evolved into some conspiracy? Prudes unite against the word SUCK!!! Good grief, not everything has to be so divisive. It’s a simple as some people having a different connotation of a word for a variety of reasons, maybe upbringing, maybe regional language differences, who knows why. It really doesn’t have to become yet another us against them debate.

I still think the phrase ‘that sucks’ doesn’t sound that great coming out of peoples’ mouths, and will continue to. I don’t think badly of them for it, sheesh. FWIW I don’t allow my kids to say shut up, butt, and several other not so flattering words. I guess I’m a prude extraordinaire.

Well said, ShannyK, and SwizzleStick also. It sure doesn’t have to be a “war of words”, so to speak. I applaud you both for encouraging your children to speak without negative slang words and have good manners also. Not only is it giving them a wonderful and definitely Christian start in life, but it will most likely put them toward the top of the list in the job market in years to come when they go to interviews and their manners and language show them in an excellent light. MANY very intelligent folks (even with degrees from prestigious colleges) have been passed by for their first or new, better jobs (and later wondered why!) because of expressions or attitudes that have “slipped” from their mouths in job interviews out of years of habit.

I think the reason the term makes me cringe when I hear it is because when I first overheard it (a lot) among peers years ago and even many times now (among young males, especially) it was definitely used in a negative sexual context (mainly when preceded by “you”, “he”, “she” or “they s—”). (I have heard the words that were exchanged after which proved it.) So, even though many people today don’t mean it in that way, it still triggers those memories in my mind because some people have meant it that way and continue to now.

 

[SwizzleStick]

Well said, ShannyK, and SwizzleStick also. It sure doesn’t have to be a “war of words”, so to speak. I applaud you both for encouraging your children to speak without negative slang words and have good manners also. Not only is it giving them a wonderful and definitely Christian start in life, but it will most likely put them toward the top of the list in the job market in years to come when they go to interviews and their manners and language show them in an excellent light. MANY very intelligent folks (even with degrees from prestigious colleges) have been passed by for their first or new, better jobs (and later wondered why!) because of expressions or attitudes that have “slipped” from their mouths in job interviews out of years of habit.

I think the reason the term makes me cringe when I hear it is because when I first overheard it (a lot) among peers years ago and even many times now (among young males, especially) it was definitely used in a negative sexual context (mainly when preceded by “you”, “he”, “she” or “they s—”). (I have heard the words that were exchanged after which proved it.) So, even though many people today don’t mean it in that way, it still triggers those memories in my mind because some people have meant it that way and continue to now.

Thank you for your kind words.

You are I have the same reaction to the subject phrase and for the same reasons. “Back in the day,” it meant what it meant. Apparently, today it means something else, but I still remember the meaning from “back in the day” and certainly will avoid usage for myself and my children for that reason alone. Speaking properly and avoiding the use of slang is yet another valid reason to avoid usage.

 

[AHapka]

I’m 36 years old and have never had anyone tell me that “that sucks” has any sexual connotation whatsoever.

That’s my empirical evidence that it no longer has that meaning in common use today.

I could say this thread “blows” (ducks head).