Vacetomy-Tubal Ligation

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FireEmt37

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My wife and I have been blessed with two children. Now she is on a medication for a health condition. She was informed that if she were to become pregnant the child would most likely not survive and if it did would have serious health problems. It could also be dangerous to her.

We are considering a Vacetomy or tibal ligation for health reasons. I know it’s a sin but her health is important too. I’m not sure what to do. Please any advice would be appreciated.
 
There are a lot of technological advancements in the area of NFP that have made this method much more accurate. My wife and I are currently using NFP to avoid and it seems to be accurate so far. We use the lady-comp fertility monitor. It more or less removes the need for charting or anything else. Obviously we have to abstain for several days a month but it’s not that difficult.
 
Brother,

I am sorry to hear about your wife’s health situation. I know that is really difficult. Catholic teaching on this is pretty clear, though: mutilation for the express purpose of avoiding pregnancy is wrong.

Mutilation is not your only choice. AdamPeter pointed out the advances in NFP. My wife and I use it, too, to avoid. It takes discipline, but it is very effective. And, it can just as effectively protect your wife’s health.

Pray about it. If you have a spiritual director, talk to him or her. There are ways to protect your wife that comply with God’s law.
 
FireEmt37 said:
My wife and I have been blessed with two children. Now she is on a medication for a health condition. She was informed that if she were to become pregnant the child would most likely not survive and if it did would have serious health problems. It could also be dangerous to her.

We are considering a Vacetomy or tibal ligation for health reasons. I know it’s a sin but her health is important too. I’m not sure what to do. Please any advice would be appreciated.
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You need to look into nfp.

Mutilation would be a sin.
 
FireEmt37 said:
My wife and I have been blessed with two children. Now she is on a medication for a health condition. She was informed that if she were to become pregnant the child would most likely not survive and if it did would have serious health problems. It could also be dangerous to her.

We are considering a Vacetomy or tibal ligation for health reasons. I know it’s a sin but her health is important too. I’m not sure what to do. Please any advice would be appreciated.
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everything else aside, tubal ligations and vasectomies are not foolproof, there is a chance that she could still get pregnant if not done properly or something

the only way you can ensure 100% that she doen’st get pregnant is complete abstinence.

nfp is good though, but also not entirely foolproof

it’s hard, but sometimes life comes with difficult decisions. you know it’s a sin, so you’re not going to be able to justify it

and not to be harsh, but it’s not exactly for medical reasons, the pregnancy is said to be high-risk but there is nothing actually wrong with her ovaries or uterus right now

take care of your wife and children right now and leave the rest up to the lord. when people are sick, having relations really does end up on the back burner
 
angell1 said:
and not to be harsh, but it’s not exactly for medical reasons, the pregnancy is said to be high-risk but there is nothing actually wrong with her ovaries or uterus right now.
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Pregnancy does not just involve the ovaries and uterus, it affects the women’s ENTIRE body. If a women’s body reacts badly to a pregnancy that is medical, just because the problem lays dormant and with no visual cause, does not mean the issue is not medical. A family member of mines body attacked itself when she was pregnant, caused her to go into liver failure. A teacher of mine got violently ill and ended up hospitalized multiple times during her pregnancies. Both of these instances are examples of women whose bodies could not handle the stress pregnancy puts on a women’s body.

No one would tell someone allergic to peanuts that they don’t have a medical issue, even though the person does not experience problems unless they eat or touch a peanut. So like with any medical problem it is wise to either fix the issue or find a way to prevent it. Pregnancy maybe a natural occurrence but not every women has a body that can handle pregnancy. Whether or not the Church believes it or not, the ovaries and uterus are not the only organs affected by pregnancy and they might not be damaged but stress can kill. As the mechanism of pregnancy resembles a parasite, the host (female) provides all the necessary nutrients and shelter until the parasite (baby) leaves the body. I’m not trying to call a baby a parasite but the mechanism of pregnancy is designed that way.
 
AiyanaS said:
Pregnancy does not just involve the ovaries and uterus, it affects the women’s ENTIRE body. If a women’s body reacts badly to a pregnancy that is medical, just because the problem lays dormant and with no visual cause, does not mean the issue is not medical. A family member of mines body attacked itself when she was pregnant, caused her to go into liver failure. A teacher of mine got violently ill and ended up hospitalized multiple times during her pregnancies. Both of these instances are examples of women whose bodies could not handle the stress pregnancy puts on a women’s body.

No one would tell someone allergic to peanuts that they don’t have a medical issue, even though the person does not experience problems unless they eat or touch a peanut. So like with any medical problem it is wise to either fix the issue or find a way to prevent it. Pregnancy maybe a natural occurrence but not every women has a body that can handle pregnancy. Whether or not the Church believes it or not, the ovaries and uterus are not the only organs affected by pregnancy and they might not be damaged but stress can kill. As the mechanism of pregnancy resembles a parasite, the host (female) provides all the necessary nutrients and shelter until the parasite (baby) leaves the body. I’m not trying to call a baby a parasite but the mechanism of pregnancy is designed that way.
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A human embryo or fetus is an organism of one species living in the uterine cavity of an organism of the SAME species and deriving its nourishment from the mother (is metabolically dependent on the mother). This homospecific relationship is an obligatory dependent relationship, but not a parasitic relationship.
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AdamPeter said:
A human embryo or fetus is an organism of one species living in the uterine cavity of an organism of the SAME species and deriving its nourishment from the mother (is metabolically dependent on the mother). This homospecific relationship is an obligatory dependent relationship, but not a parasitic relationship.
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And I’m going to repeat again:
I did NOT, I repeat, did NOT call a baby a parasite. I said that pregnancy has parasitic QUALITIES as the mechanism, whether or not people chose to acknowledge it, does mimic the parasite/host relationship. It involves an organism (baby) feeding off of another organism/host (mother) until it’s strong enough to detach itself and go its own way. Up until a child is born it feeds off the mothers nourishment. It is also possible for pregnancy to have a negative effect on the mother, as I stated above with examples, that can weaken and/or kill her. There is also the fact that if the mother dies the child inside dies as well, for when a baby is inside the mother, the baby is dependent on the mother’s body for its needs.
 
I’m sorry for the health struggles your wife has had and I’m grateful that you’ve been blessed with two healthy children.

Vasectomies and tubal ligations (and in fact all contraceptive use) are gravely wrong and objectively disordered. When freely chosen with the knowledge that it offends God, choosing to contracept or mutilate yourself is mortally sinful, which means it completely cuts off God’s grace from your soul and puts your soul at risk for eternal damnation. Serious stuff.

Your wife’s health and the health of your future children are also very important. You have a responsibility to not recklessly endanger future children or the mother of your children. If you’ve done due diligence (maybe getting a second medical opinion or exploring alternative medications that don’t have teratogenic effects) and still decide that you should not get pregnant, that can be a holy decision.

So, if you know you cannot get pregnant again and since you cannot contracept, where does that leave you? You really have two options:
  1. Complete abstinence until menopause. It’s hard, but it’s been done before. It’s won’t kill either of you and you can be 100% sure that you won’t get pregnant.
  2. NFP. There are loads of methods that are safe, effective, and very doable. It takes discipline and can be difficult but also freeing and lets you continue making love to your wife every months without risking the health of your future children. You may find it helpful to take a class or use a method with a monitor.
“If any man would come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.” - Jesus (Matthew 16:24)

God bless.
 
nodito said:
  1. Complete abstinence until menopause. It’s hard, but it’s been done before. It’s won’t kill either of you and you can be 100% sure that you won’t get pregnant.
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But the removal of intimacy can kill the marriage. Not everyone has low sex drives and gets an ego boost from boasting about how long they’ve gone without sex (read some posters on here, and stories from others about people they know/met like that).

Affection and intimacy is important in a marriage and some people are just very touchy people. To cut that out completely, like I said, can kill a marriage.
 
AiyanaS said:
But the removal of intimacy can kill the marriage. Not everyone has low sex drives and gets an ego boost from boasting about how long they’ve gone without sex (read some posters on here, and stories from others about people they know/met like that).

Affection and intimacy is important in a marriage and some people are just very touchy people. To cut that out completely, like I said, can kill a marriage.
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Perhaps. But it’s the only way to be 100% certain of avoiding pregnancy. All methods of birth control fail on occasion - even tubals and vasectomies. The only way to be 100% certain of not getting pregnant is completely abstinence.

NFP is just as effective as contraception if used properly and still allows for intimacy. I would recommend the OP and his wife learn about the various methods of NFP. I personally recommend the Marquette Method. It uses a fertility monitor, is easy to learn, and is highly effective
 
AiyanaS said:
But the removal of intimacy can kill the marriage. Not everyone has low sex drives and gets an ego boost from boasting about how long they’ve gone without sex (read some posters on here, and stories from others about people they know/met like that).

Affection and intimacy is important in a marriage and some people are just very touchy people. To cut that out completely, like I said, can kill a marriage.
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I’m just offering options. If you don’t want to get pregnant and you don’t want to sin, your only two options are complete abstinence until menopause or timing intercourse to the infertile periods.
 
AiyanaS said:
But the removal of intimacy can kill the marriage. Not everyone has low sex drives and gets an ego boost from boasting about how long they’ve gone without sex (read some posters on here, and stories from others about people they know/met like that).

Affection and intimacy is important in a marriage and some people are just very touchy people. To cut that out completely, like I said, can kill a marriage.
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What if intimacy can kill your spouse?

Nobody is saying this isn’t hard. But hard does not equal impossible. Love is putting the good of the other above yourself, after all.
 
AiyanaS said:
But the removal of intimacy can kill the marriage. Not everyone has low sex drives and gets an ego boost from boasting about how long they’ve gone without sex (read some posters on here, and stories from others about people they know/met like that).

Affection and intimacy is important in a marriage and some people are just very touchy people. To cut that out completely, like I said, can kill a marriage.
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Aiyana, your opinion is irrelevant. Catholic teaching is that you cannot sterilize yourself or contracept–period. Periodic or total abstinence are the only permissible “birth control” methods.
 
heidi_storage said:
Aiyana, your opinion is irrelevant. Catholic teaching is that you cannot sterilize yourself or contracept–period. Periodic or total abstinence are the only permissible “birth control” methods.
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And it is your opinion that what the Catholic Church teaches is the correct way to handle sexuality, which mind you, is an religious organization run by celibate men.
 
angell1 said:
the only way you can ensure 100% that she doen’st get pregnant is complete abstinence.
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If it were me, I would abstain. I would rather be certain of not conceiving, than take a risk even with nfp. To me, personally, I don’t find temporary “pleasure” worth an unwanted outcome. I will admit that sometimes I do find situations like these a little extreme. After all, they are a married man and woman, who closely follow the faith in every other way. I really don’t think there is absolutely no instance when something can’t be done. At times I myself have wondered how absolutely true the belief that all contraception, in every instance, is wrong. If I knew for certainty that God was deeply offended by this, I would not want to displease Him. I’ve wondered, because throughout the years the Church has been “able” to change Her teachings. I ask this as an honest question, as a woman truly trying to live her Catholic life faithfully. Why have certain teachings been changed, and others not? In the meantime, since I just don’t know, I will say that if it were me, I would just not want my husband to touch me at all. If it were me, I would replace intimacy with something that might still keep the passion within a marriage, and that would be taking a warm bubblebath with my husband. And to me, actually, that would be more enjoyable, and without the worry of an unwanted outcome.
 
AiyanaS said:
And it is your opinion that what the Catholic Church teaches is the correct way to handle sexuality, which mind you, is an religious organization run by celibate men.
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Well…if my wife was unable to have a child due to medical dangers, what are the options:

Mutilate her or my body so that we can’t have kids at all? Even if her condition improves or can be treated at a later stage.

She goes on the pill so that we can continue to be intimate. But that puts her at an increased risk of cancer and other medical issues.

Abstain at the appropriate times.

I know which option involves loving my wife over myself.

It hasn’t got to do with celibate men, it has to do with the truth of the matter and how I can best love my spouse.

By the way…nobody is boasting about their abstinence. Nobody is saying it’s not difficult.

But the truth is, with advancements in the area of fertility monitoring, it is much easier to practice periodic abstinence and the success rate is as high or higher as it is for some methods of contraception.

My wife and I had zero experience of NFP. We bought a fertility monitor and it’s been 100% accurate so far. I would urge the OP to investigate this option.

Realistically, it only involves 5-8 days of abstinence a month.
 
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