Vasectomy prayer answered - yikes!

[HouseArrest]

I’m sorry. I will keep your family in my prayers.

 

[Rau]

His concern wasn’t the abstinence, it’s that neither of were really strong in sticking to the rules to avoid pregnancy. He never looked at my chart, much less asked me ahead of time which phase I was in, his concern always came past the point of no return, meaning lot of time in the confessional for me. Yes, this last baby resulted in me forgetting which day I was on. And my libido, I’d say, is waning due to our stale relationship.

I guess if you are doing the charting, you know your state of fertility. I assume your husband initiates sex, but you either don’t let him know pregnancy is possible now, or you do, but you both go ahead anyway?

 

[JLCecilia]

Man, this is tough. Maybe it’s b/c I’ve been off at home w/ the kiddos this week. But, as I was nursing my babe this morning, tears just started coming. The baby blues are still strong. I just saw an acquaintance post on FB the other day that she’s expecting her 5th next summer. Then I read a post on here by someone joyfully expecting their 14th child. PLUS I just REALLY want to be a SAHM. It just keeps creeping back up on me that this is the last baby I will have and I have to miss out on his babyhood the same as all my other kiddos. My current prayers have been for DH to find a job, suitable to his talents that would allow me to SAHM FT without sacrificing our family’s needs. Really not looking forward to trying to find a sitter for my 2 big kids for the summer, much less paying for 4 children in daycare. Plus, I just cannot reconcile this situation and bring myself to ‘be’ with DH. As the non-physical part of our relationship has improved just a smidge, the physical part is still a major hurdle.

Oh please, Dear God, how long will this immense feeling of loss haunt me?

 

[mommamaree]

My heart is breaking for you, JLCecilia. I follow your threads here at CAF, and so many of your posts strike a chord in my heart. I will offer up my evening rosary for you tonight, that you will feel the peace and joy and hope that only the Christ Child can bring. Human beings will always disappoint and betray us, even and especially in careless ways. Only Jesus keeps every promise, meets every need, and never fails to care tenderly for us. It is so hard to know that and feel His presence when we are struggling with disappointment and betrayal in human relationships, but those are the very moments when He draws closer to us. I will pray that you will know how deeply you are loved and how special you are to your Heavenly Father. God bless you, dear sister in Christ.

 

[JLCecilia]

Thank you mommamaree for the kind words. It syncs right up with what I heard on an encore presentation of my morning radio program where the host reminds us that it is in our weakness and brokenness that God is strongest and works the most. I am also reminded of a quote I once heard “when you are down to nothing, God is up to something.”

 

[pensmama87]

My heart is breaking for you, JLCecilia. I follow your threads here at CAF, and so many of your posts strike a chord in my heart. I will offer up my evening rosary for you tonight, that you will feel the peace and joy and hope that only the Christ Child can bring. Human beings will always disappoint and betray us, even and especially in careless ways. Only Jesus keeps every promise, meets every need, and never fails to care tenderly for us. It is so hard to know that and feel His presence when we are struggling with disappointment and betrayal in human relationships, but those are the very moments when He draws closer to us. I will pray that you will know how deeply you are loved and how special you are to your Heavenly Father. God bless you, dear sister in Christ.

This is very well put. I feel like I can identify with your feelings, JLCecilia, even though our experiences are not exactly the same, and I appreciate so much that you’ve been courageous enough to put it out there! God bless you.