Vatican announces desire for more restrained sign of peace at Mass

[Tigg]

But it’s the adults who are shouting and roaming and gabbing at the SOP. That’s their pastor’s doing more than theirs because many people really do not know how to behave at Mass any more. They treat going to Mass like going to the movies, or worse, to a sports event. They think they can talk and laugh and eat and do whatever they want. Reminding people of where they are and in whose presence they are is needed, and in some cases, long overdo.

We truly have lost the sense of the sacred, although that term is overly familiar now. The hugging and kissing, the physical display of affection, belies the sense of the Transcendent - the other-world in which we are present, yet fail to respect.

 

[Della]

Agreed, and will add my huge pet peeve - that families greet each other before greeting their neighbors. I hardly think this is the point of the sign of peace. Hug and kiss your family at home. It is very uncomfortable as a single person as everyone turns away from you to greet his or her husband/child/mother/father, etc. Growing up in my Protestant church, my parents never greeted me - how dumb would that have been? They immediately turned to the newcomer sharing the pew or sitting next to them to make them feel welcome. Of course, that’s an area where Catholics are generally very lacking to begin with, and it would be a nice gesture if used properly, but it isn’t. So I say scrap it.

There really is no difference from people turning away from you to greet strangers before you and families greeting each other first, so why does it matter if families do it? They get to you at some point–that’s what matters.

Besides, peace, like charity, begins at home. If the SOP were reserved only for strangers not even friends/mere acquaintances could offer it to one another, which makes no sense. No matter what any Protestant faith community does/doesn’t do it has no bearing on what is proper for the Mass.

 

[ProVobis]

Agreed, and will add my huge pet peeve - that families greet each other before greeting their neighbors. I hardly think this is the point of the sign of peace. Hug and kiss your family at home. It is very uncomfortable as a single person as everyone turns away from you to greet his or her husband/child/mother/father, etc. Growing up in my Protestant church, my parents never greeted me - how dumb would that have been? They immediately turned to the newcomer sharing the pew or sitting next to them to make them feel welcome. Of course, that’s an area where Catholics are generally very lacking to begin with, and it would be a nice gesture if used properly, but it isn’t. So I say scrap it.

Some people can be quite inconsiderate in this regard. You can stand waiting 30 seconds for a handshake that may never come from the right, while the people on the left have given up on you. And vice versa.

 

[Della]

Some people can be quite inconsiderate in this regard. You can stand waiting 30 seconds for a handshake that may never come from the right, while the people on the left have given up on you. And vice versa.

I have to laugh inside when this happens. Oh the fun of trying to coordinate an unplanned “dance” of people all greeting one another at the same time. Really, someone ought to come up with a plan for this. Perhaps right side first then left side? Oh but then everyone will be turning to the right while no one will be shaking hands because they are all facing the same way. Right side, left side, front side, back side—let’s call the whole thing off.

 

[DAML72]

There really is no difference from people turning away from you to greet strangers before you and families greeting each other first, so why does it matter if families do it? They get to you at some point–that’s what matters.

Besides, peace, like charity, begins at home. If the SOP were reserved only for strangers not even friends/mere acquaintances could offer it to one another, which makes no sense. No matter what any Protestant faith community does/doesn’t do it has no bearing on what is proper for the Mass.

Well, given my upbringing, I find it rude. It’s not an issue of what is proper in a Protestant faith community vs. what is proper in Mass. It’s what I was raised to believe is proper Christian behavior.

And by the way, I’m by far not the only single person who feels this way. So, my humble suggestion to others would be to perhaps take a look around the next time the sign of peace is offered at Mass and find the old woman sitting alone or the divorced man awkwardly waiting for the families to finish kissing and hugging each other, and reach out to them in a sign of friendship.

 

[Phemie]

Well, given my upbringing, I find it rude. It’s not an issue of what is proper in a Protestant faith community vs. what is proper in Mass. It’s what I was raised to be proper Christian behavior.

And by the way, I’m by far not the only single person who feels this way. So, my humble suggestion to others would be to perhaps take a look around the next time the sign of peace is offered at Mass and find the old woman sitting alone or the divorced man awkwardly waiting for the families to finish kissing and hugging each other, and reach out to them in a sign of friendship.

Which is why we must explain the what is meant by a ‘ritual’ gesture. The sign of peace is a minor ritual, not a moment for socializing. That’s for after Mass.

 

[DAML72]

Which is why we must explain the what is meant by a ‘ritual’ gesture. The sign of peace is a minor ritual, not a moment for socializing. That’s for after Mass.

I’m not talking about socializing. I’m talking about deliberately reaching a hand out to someone who you see is attending Mass alone and making them feel welcome, not just turning to them as an afterthought. I think it would be a nice gesture, but it rarely happens.

I guess I just don’t see the point of it.

 

[Della]

I’m not talking about socializing. I’m talking about deliberately reaching a hand out to someone who you see is attending Mass alone and making them feel welcome, not just turning to them as an afterthought. I think it would be a nice gesture, but it rarely happens.

I guess I just don’t see the point of it.

Even the old lady by herself and the divorced man might not think the SOP is all about others reaching out to them first, but of all of us reaching out to others in their turn. And, it’s not about how the SOP makes us feel–it’s about being one with all those present and all others around the world sharing in the same Mass. There’s far too much emphasis on “inclusion” as it is. We’re not at Mass to feel included but enter into corporate worship. After Mass go up to those you think lonely and engage them in conversation instead of heading out the door–that’s the time to make them feel welcome.

 

[Lormar]

Oh no I am NOT. Are you saying that for centuries, we did not have the vertical element at all? We are there as a community to worship Our Lord, not each other. It might be nice if they kept it as a “Holy Kiss of Peace” but that is not what it has become. That does NOT mean a kiss or hug, it’s meant as a verbal greeting. "Peace of Christ be with you. That’ s a prayer " It’s gotten way out of hand in some parishes and lost the true meaning. God Bless, Memaw

You go girl!!!

 

[Lormar]

We truly have lost the sense of the sacred, although that term is overly familiar now. The hugging and kissing, the physical display of affection, belies the sense of the Transcendent - the other-world in which we are present, yet fail to respect.

 

[Lormar]

I don’t like them to say my name. I am trying to keep my mind on Our Lord and that puts the focus on me. I do not like that. It seems it all has to be about us and how “special” we are. That’s very distracting. No wonder many Catholics are loosing their faith in the “Real Presence” of Our Lord, when we are made to be the center of attention. It turns things into ‘me and them’. God Bless, Memaw

Memaw, you are on a roll!

 

[Lormar]

Not really, there are lots of older people that have shoulder pain and hugging is difficult. I agree with the Vatican. Less fuss and more reverence, all the way around. The Mass is about Our Lord and our worship of HIM. We should be respectful, quiet, modest and prayerful. God Bless, memaw

 

[CyrilSebastian]

“The congregation for worship also noted that there are several abuses of the rite which are to be stopped: …the introduction of a “song of peace,” which does not exist in the Roman rite; …the faithful moving from their place to exchange the sign; …the priest leaving the altar to exchange the sign with the faithful; … and when, at occasions such as weddings or funerals, it becomes an occasion for congratulations or condolences.”

So doing that is technically an abuse of the rite.

LongingSoul, Thank you for the clarification.

 

[Miserissima]

Oh no I am NOT. Are you saying that for centuries, we did not have the vertical element at all?

My post explicitly stated “both.” Comprehension and context, please. Homework.

We are there as a community to worship Our Lord, not each other.

How are we worshipping each other in the Sign of Peace? In the presence of the Lord, we gather and acknowledge our communion (small “c”).

It might be nice if they kept it as a “Holy Kiss of Peace” but that is not what it has become.

Culture and era. I would not welcome a kiss this day I’m age. Would you?

That does NOT mean a kiss or hug, it’s meant as a verbal greeting of Christ be with you. That’ s a prayer "

Nice opinion and perpetuation but that isn’t what the circular said. The “Sign of Peace” varies from culture to culture in light of the era. Like other topics.

It’s gotten way out of hand in some parishes and lost the true meaning. God Bless, Memaw

I see your last point, absolutely. I still cannot fathom why the complainers don’t lead by example, with the example I had shared earlier.

Can’t find it? Hint: it’s in this thread and I don’t do my son’s homework and won’t do yours, either.

 

[ProVobis]

I have to laugh inside when this happens. Oh the fun of trying to coordinate an unplanned “dance” of people all greeting one another at the same time. Really, someone ought to come up with a plan for this. Perhaps right side first then left side? Oh but then everyone will be turning to the right while no one will be shaking hands because they are all facing the same way. Right side, left side, front side, back side—let’s call the whole thing off.

We could have something like an R-L-R-L-R-L-R arrangement in each pew. The leftmost turns right first, the second one turns left, and so forth. The F-B-F-B follows. No exceptions for families which always seem to disrupt the pattern and leave outsiders in the cold. Just a suggestion.

 

[Phemie]

Culture and era. I would not welcome a kiss this day I’m age. Would you?

Nice opinion and perpetuation but that isn’t what the circular said. The “Sign of Peace” varies from culture to culture in light of the era. Like other topics.

The Kiss of Peace is a ritual greeting that has existed in Mass for centuries. It didn’t usually involve the people in the pews and it was very ritualized and not a ‘kiss’. If we were to do it that way in the pew, it would be offered probably no more than the person to our left and to our right in the space of time allotted. I’d welcome that.

 

[Memaw]

My post explicitly stated “both.” Comprehension and context, please. Homework.

How are we worshipping each other in the Sign of Peace? In the presence of the Lord, we gather and acknowledge our communion (small “c”).

Culture and era. I would not welcome a kiss this day I’m age. Would you?

Nice opinion and perpetuation but that isn’t what the circular said. The “Sign of Peace” varies from culture to culture in light of the era. Like other topics.

I see your last point, absolutely. I still cannot fathom why the complainers don’t lead by example, with the example I had shared earlier.

Can’t find it? Hint: it’s in this thread and I don’t do my son’s homework and won’t do yours, either.

Funny, God Bless, memaw

 

[Della]

We could have something like an R-L-R-L-R-L-R arrangement in each pew. The leftmost turns right first, the second one turns left, and so forth. The F-B-F-B follows.

I’m trying to picture that. I’m afraid it elicits from me a hearty: because I can just see how funny that would look from a God’s eye view. I was attempting to be humorous in my suggestion about left/right. It really doesn’t matter, does it? The SOP only takes a few moments and is hardly of such importance that we need to regulate it that carefully. A simple hand shake and “Peace be with you” to those nearest ought to be enough.

No exceptions for families which always seem to disrupt the pattern and leave outsiders in the cold. Just a suggestion.

Except that families are where peace needs to begin, like charity. It’s good for brothers and sisters, who often have sibling rivalies going, to at least shake hands. And the bond between husband and wife is stronger than between strangers. I have no problem with families giving each other the SOP first, as long as they don’t reserve it solely to themselves.

 

[Memaw]

I’m trying to picture that. I’m afraid it elicits from me a hearty: because I can just see how funny that would look from a God’s eye view. I was attempting to be humorous in my suggestion about left/right. It really doesn’t matter, does it? The SOP only takes a few moments and is hardly of such importance that we need to regulate it that carefully. A simple hand shake and “Peace be with you” to those nearest ought to be enough.

Except that families are where peace needs to begin, like charity. It’s good for brothers and sisters, who often have sibling rivalies going, to at least shake hands. And the bond between husband and wife is stronger than between strangers. I have no problem with families giving each other the SOP first, as long as they don’t reserve it solely to themselves.

This is exactly what the Vatican is talking about. You can tell by all the responses here that it has caused a lot of problems. It has not done what it was meant to do in the first place. It’s time we settle down and do as the Vatican suggests, don’t you think?? God Bless, Memaw

 

[Della]

This is exactly what the Vatican is talking about. You can tell by all the responses here that it has caused a lot of problems. It has not done what it was meant to do in the first place. It’s time we settle down and do as the Vatican suggests, don’t you think?? God Bless, Memaw

I do agree. Many parishes have made way too much of this simple part of the liturgy, turning it into a 3 ring circus with people running everywhere, everyone talking and slapping each other on the back, and worse, priests abandoning the altar to take part in all the mayhem. It was always meant to be a digified moment in which we offer each other peace, not a free-for-all in which we strike up conversations and roam the nave looking for friends and relatives, waving frantically and calling out to them.