Although I can certainly understand the problem with the lack of respect involved, please don’t assume these people or children have had training as Catholics or know to do things otherwise. I truly don’t mean those words as disrespectful to the OP, but let me give you a different perspective.
You have apparently been very blessed to have been taught the correct way. Unfortunately, I’m finding that is no longer done nowadays in may parishes, nor has it been for quite sometime.
As a new candidate myself, I’ve found that many (if not most) RICA program to have no practical teachings other than what the church believes in a very broad sense. It simply does not prepare or teach you about ‘living’ a Catholic life, nor does it teach you the ‘rules’ of Catholic worship.
As an example, I still have no clue when to kneel. Our church does not have kneelers and it’s something no one has bothered to teach us - just in case we happen to visit a church that does! We were taught what the sacrament of Reconciliation is, but not a soul told us what we were to do or how to actually correctly ‘do’ confession or the wordage that is used. I didn’t even know, until just VERY recently, that I am to do another penance if I eat meat on Friday. It sure would have been a good thing to know a lot sooner; but I’m not completely sure some of our RICA leaders even knew until I brought up what I discovered from reading on the internet. Did they just hear 'no meat on Fri., and didn’t hear the rest? LOL
Now, you have to understand that comes from the deficiency in the parish, not in the people. It seems so many parishes have relaxed their standards and uniformity, that the cradle Catholics get complacent; the long-time converts just go along with the program; and the new converts have no idea things are to be done different. Eventially the ‘newbies’ become the ‘oldies’ and they still don’t know any different! Even for those who do know, after a while, they either forget or just assume it no longer applies - or it no longer applies to ‘them’ or ‘their parish’.
See it isn’t always their fault, it’s the lack the leadership to lead/teach in the correct direction and that problem lies directly with the parish priest. If someone in the parish is doing it wrong, then they
should be corrected (but in love and out of concern; not anger). I’m finding perhaps the main culprit in all of this to be the diocese by not following up on what is ‘really’ going on in some of the parishes/catholic schools/etc. or the bishops being so ‘relaxed’ themselves that it is not an issue with them. But that’s just my initial take on what I’ve experienced thus far, but I’m new, so perhaps I shouldn’t assume that.
If you have any doubt, just read through some of the threads posted by the ‘newbies’. It’s amazing how many of us there are that literally have no idea what something is, how to do, or why we do it. I’m talking about very simple basic things. In fact, until your post, I had no idea about not having laughing, loud talking, etc. if the host was present in the tabernacle. After your post, I thought to myself, “Well, of course! That certainly would make sense”; but it’s something not one single person ever told me. As another instance along the same line, in another thread, I just learned about the sanctuary candle burning next to the tabernacle signifies the consecrated host is present in the tabernacle. Again, not a soul told me and it’s not in my RICA book. I just thought that was the greatest thing and how incredibley respectful! But see, up until this point, I have missed a great blessing in not knowing that.
It’s so very frustrating and discouraging for those of us who do desire to follow the Catholic faith
correctly. However, I can honestly understand how, after a while, it becomes easy to fall into the more ‘modern/lax ways’ when it seems you’re the only one who has the desire to respect our Lord and do it the ‘right way’. Sometimes when you’re out there in left field all alone, it’s not easy to hang on – especially when you’re new and have no guidance. I feel certain that is what happened to these dear folks you saw.
