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Dokimas
Guest
I beg to differ with you; the further we get from the truth and authority of God’s Word and the Holy Spirit the wackier the notions become.
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Dokimas
Guest
I looked back at the OP’s first post and looked for what the church leaders response was. There was no direct mention only that the man would leave if the church didn’t respond to his sin the way he wanted to. If my thinking is correct here, how can any conclusion of authority be made until we know what the church leaders will do? The Bible tells the leaders what to do.
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StrawberryJam
Guest
Newbie2,
My niece’s mother is her legal gaurdian. She is really not handling any of this very well.
I need to keep her sober enough to make the decisions she needs to be making now.
Apparently she has taken up drinking since Septemberish.
My niece’s mother is her legal gaurdian. She is really not handling any of this very well.
I need to keep her sober enough to make the decisions she needs to be making now.
Apparently she has taken up drinking since Septemberish.
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StrawberryJam
Guest
Sorry, I have to update you on this. I finally got a message via email from the pastor of that church who is willing to set up a conference with our family. I’m hoping the man will handle this appropriately.
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Libertarian_FL
Guest
Call Child Protective Services she is still legally a minor then push to have the man charged with Statutory Rape asap, make a stink about it. I mean if you have to march INTO this “church” during a service with a megaphone and air this in public do it - I would.
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Dokimas
Guest
Maybe you could put together a letter to him with verses you think speak to this issue that you would like discussed in the meeting. Remember, your attitute will go a long way to set the tone for what happens, positively or negatively.
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StrawberryJam
Guest
I’m relieved in a way that they only have services on Saturday and Sunday and their “youth group” is cancelled until after new year’s. Because, I would have already been there today if they were a daily worship kind of place. And, that would not have been a good thing at that time. I was far too angry then, and am only now starting to simmer down a little. I have my appointment with the priest in a half hour, (we had to change it a few times, he wants to see me sooner because he did not know what it was about at first, most likely thought it was a part two of another religious question) So, I think he will be able to get me back on track mentally. He is pretty good that way.
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Robert_in_SD
Guest
This is not my area of expertise, but generally when the age difference is 16/32 there’s a serious problem. Statistically, it is reasonable to conclude that this man may be a predator who has done this before and/or will do it again to someone else.
The loopholes in statutory rape laws generally apply when the victim and the defendant are close in age as in 16/18 or 17/21. This guy was 32. He should know better. The fact that your neice was over 15 would help the defendant in some states, but not all. You should call the police and/or the district attorney, file a report if necessary, and ask for an investigation into this person and the local church (this may not be the first time this sort of thing has happened there).
Also, the church’s leaders may face criminal and/or civil liability if they took no action to screen this person by way of a common background check, especially if this sort of thing has happened at their church before. Background checks for any clergy or layperson involved with child/teen supervision are commonly required at the parish and diocesan level - even for unpaid volunteer positions - and they are generally a simple and straightforward process.
This person should have been thoroughly checked by the local church’s leaders for prior incidents and complaints before he was handed the reigns of a teen youth group The church’s taking of even these minimal reasonable precautions could have prevented this incident if the guy had any sort of off-color history that would have popped up on such a screening.
Again, I can’t speak to your personal situation directly, but my suggestion is that you should involve the legal authorities and speak to a knowledgeable attorney who specializes in these sort of abuse cases to get a full explanation of the law and your neice’s rights. Also, your niece should seek counseling with a trusted and credited person because it’s pretty clear from your posts that she has no idea that she’s been victimized by this person, or she’s in denial about her situation.
I’m so sorry that this happened to your niece. She’s lucky to have you there for her.
Peace,
Robert
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Anna_Scott
Guest
StrawberryJam,
I’ve read all the posts. First, I am just sick over this. It sounds like this man is a predator. Did you check his name against the sex offender registries? That might be wise. Here is a link: familywatchdog.us/.
If she became pregnant at age 16 and the father is in his 30’s; this is very likely statutory rape, depending on the laws of the state in which the act first took place. The fact that he is so much older than her makes the case for statutory rape much stronger.
You mentioned that your niece is in Texas with this man and his parents.
Is Texas a different state from her residence? If so, it is illegal for this man to take her, a minor, across state lines. Are they preventing her from talking with her mother? Did her mother even consent to this trip?
It, also, sounds like a number of laws have been broken. I was a bit surprised by the advise your attorney gave you. I would be inclined to seek a second opinion.
I am glad you had the appointment with the priest. I hope he gave you some good advise.
I will pray for your niece, her mother, and you.
My dear friend, know that many are praying.
Anna
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KathleenGee
Guest
second opinion…praying for your niece and you…
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Newbie2
Guest
In case you missed it, we Catholics consider the truth and authority of God’s word and the Holy spirit to reside in the Church. In any case, I think we are saying the same thing in that in this situation the man involved has moved quite far from the Almighty intends for a man in his situation.
Our prayers are with you.
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Dokimas
Guest
Nope, I didn’t miss it. Maybe you missed that I don’t agree with your assessment of who has authority in the 21st century in a believers life.
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Newbie2
Guest
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Dokimas
Guest
Great!!! No doubt I’ll try to follow you there when you or someone else starts it.:tiphat:And maybe you missed that I think we should discuss such in a different thread.
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StrawberryJam
Guest
I am very happy to tell you all that my appointment with the priest indeed calmed me down considerably. This priest is a real gem, I’m very lucky to have such a person to talk to about religious questions and plain old life situations. I can see why a christian desires to have a spiritual advisor now. It just makes sense.
Since this situation has gotten even worse since last night, I feel it’s best I remain calm as I get more information. When things get to a more leveled out place and not so crazy I will start another thread possibly. The pastor of that church has decided to cancel his initial invitation for a family meeting and is seeking out a lawyer and refuses to speak to me or my attorney now. So, it’s going to be ugly.
I do want to thank you all for your thoughts on this, your concern and prayers. I realize I wrote this in anger, and I am trying to keep that anger under wraps so that I can do what needs to be done now. Just re-reading a lot of the posts here has made me see that there are a lot of wonderful caring people in this place.
SJ
I will be poking around today to research a few things and see what new topics are out there, but since there is a ban on athiest commentary now, you may not see me posting I guess. I think I can still ask questions about things though. I need to check that out, I just got a tip from a friend on that one today.
Thank you, thank you, and thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Since this situation has gotten even worse since last night, I feel it’s best I remain calm as I get more information. When things get to a more leveled out place and not so crazy I will start another thread possibly. The pastor of that church has decided to cancel his initial invitation for a family meeting and is seeking out a lawyer and refuses to speak to me or my attorney now. So, it’s going to be ugly.
I do want to thank you all for your thoughts on this, your concern and prayers. I realize I wrote this in anger, and I am trying to keep that anger under wraps so that I can do what needs to be done now. Just re-reading a lot of the posts here has made me see that there are a lot of wonderful caring people in this place.
SJ
I will be poking around today to research a few things and see what new topics are out there, but since there is a ban on athiest commentary now, you may not see me posting I guess. I think I can still ask questions about things though. I need to check that out, I just got a tip from a friend on that one today.
Thank you, thank you, and thank you from the bottom of my heart.
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Anna_Scott
Guest
StrawberryJam,
I am so glad you have the priest to confide in. I keep praying for you and your niece and her mother. I will not forget you. I even asked my sister to pray, last night.
Anna
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Monica4316
Guest
wow… I would be very angry and upset too
prayers for you and for this whole situation. I agree this is very wrong/sick.
prayers for you and for this whole situation. I agree this is very wrong/sick.
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Dokimas
Guest
I made a false assumption and I’m sorry. I was unaware you weren’t catholic/Christian. If I had known that, I may not have suggested you look up verses in the Bible for your talk with the pastor.
I may have some info that will help you with what the pastor may be doing now. In this ‘sue’ happy environment we are in, the pastor may feel the need to protect the church against suit. He may think the church needs protection against the original sinner because churches get sued when they make a stand against the sin of members. He may feel a need to protect the church against your family if you want to sue the church, blaming the church for the sin of a leader. If the church does not cover up the sin, it is not fair to blame the church for the sins of its members. If I rob a bank, the bank doesn’t sue my employer (unless they knew I was going to do the crime).
I hope this helps.
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PeterMuz
Guest
Ask her this… “And where in the bible does it say that you are married in the sight of God? Who told you that you are married in the eyes of God?”The update:
She sent me an email telling me they are “married in the eyes of God” and she will be back home in a few days but she wants us to “give him a chance” for her sake.
What the heck is he telling her? Where is he getting this idea from? How can they be married in the eyes of God? What the…
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