Over recent months my priority has been becoming increasingly about doing God’s will. My faith is very very deep but i am very very lonely, and sometimes i have fallen into the sin of despair. My main problem is loneliness. A lot of people around me think my beliefs are extreme(they’re not) and a lot of people just dont realize how lonely i am.
I am only trying to follow the Commandments and theyre not rocket science. I know people who think it makes perfect sense to spend hours on a train to a job they hate, ***** about their boss, get home, watch hours of trash on t.v., pay for gym membership they dont use, get highlights they cant afford, eat until their belly hurts then tell me i’m stupid for not eating meat on Fridays. And i’m apparently insane for believing in the importance of Confession.
I dont tell people how to live their lives but they seem to have a free license to do the same to me.
Why do people treat me this way? I feel very low and desperate. P.s. Luv u God.
Not really knowing much about you, it’s hard to comment or to say anything that might be helpful.
Understanding why some people jump down on you is easy enough. I recall being in a poultry hatchery once and seeing all the zillions of chicks they hatch out. They carefully removed all of what they called “ethic chicks”; that is, chicks that had something unusual about them; usually a darker spot in their feathers somewhere. Chickens, being somewhat predatory and not at all nice, would peck at that spot or whatever it was until they eventually killed the “ethnic chick”. So, the hatcheries would give away “ethnic chicks” to anyone who wanted them. In barnyards, that are a lot more open than poultry houses, the chickens tend not to hassle “ethic chicks”. One would think humans would act better than chickens, but we don’t always.
We live in a world in which most of us don’t have a whole lot of “open space” around us in any way. Most of us are physically crowded together and socially crowded together. “Our space” is encroached upon a great deal. So, how does a person who, in human terms, is an “ethnic chick” get through it?
Well, I can’t say for sure. I do know that, in my life, I have opted for a lot more space than most have. It has come at a cost, but I was willing to pay it. I don’t socialize to speak of, other than with family and a tiny handful of friends. (I do have a large family.) I live in the country. My “hobby” is ranching. I have my own business by choice, even though in a big organization i would probably make more. So, being “the boss” I don’t have to put up with the nastiness, scatology or jibes of superiors, and certainly not of my own employees. I just plain don’t allow “F-bombs” and such in my place of business and don’t have to care about what anybody thinks of it.
I’m lucky, and I admit it.
I do, however, live in the “buckle of the Bible Belt” where there are few Catholics. I get that “you have dirt on your head” on Ash Wednesday, then incredulous reactions when i explain. “Oh, that’s morbid” I have heard many times. Many are astonished that I go to Mass every week and on holy days. “Huh? You’re going to Church? It’s Tuesday!” I was once asked why Catholics drink blood. Turned out the questioner was aware of a Polish festival where “Czarnina” a soup made of duck’s blood is part of the cuisine. So, I explained that one once I figured out what on earth the woman was talking about. It’s not fashionable around here anymore to taunt Catholics (it was when I was a kid) but I know full well what some of the protestant preachers say about the Church and what their congregants, therefore, think.
But you know, unless you have some kind of psychological thing going (and I’m not saying you do) I can well understand why you are having the problems you have. About all I can tell you is that you very obviously seek (and undoubtedly have) that aura of sanctifying grace about you. You might think of that as a sort of armor or “force field”. None of these things people say can actually harm you. If the devil himself can’t harm you as long as you enfold yourself in God’s grace, then mere humans can’t.
But you know, you have to leave other people in their worlds too, at least for the most part. You’re unlikely to change their ways by confronting them, though, over the long term you might do so by personal example. One way to do that is to be cheerful even if it’s hard to do it. People are, I think, more aware of the spiritual emanations of a devout person than I think we realize. That’s what Opus Dei is all about, for instance. They don’t go around preaching to people. They give a good example and nothing more, unless people wonder about their devotion to duty and cheerfulness and unobtrusive but matter-of-fact religious observance, until someone asks.
And remember, a lot of those people need help themselves but don’t know they do. People aren’t devils, but always remember that evil wants company in its misery, and people who are enveloped in it in their own lives often want to pull others into it with them.
Be of good cheer! Hope this helped.
