Very lonely+ scared

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bethanysamuel

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Over recent months my priority has been becoming increasingly about doing God’s will. My faith is very very deep but i am very very lonely, and sometimes i have fallen into the sin of despair. My main problem is loneliness. A lot of people around me think my beliefs are extreme(they’re not) and a lot of people just dont realize how lonely i am.

I am only trying to follow the Commandments and theyre not rocket science. I know people who think it makes perfect sense to spend hours on a train to a job they hate, ***** about their boss, get home, watch hours of trash on t.v., pay for gym membership they dont use, get highlights they cant afford, eat until their belly hurts then tell me i’m stupid for not eating meat on Fridays. And i’m apparently insane for believing in the importance of Confession.

I dont tell people how to live their lives but they seem to have a free license to do the same to me.
Why do people treat me this way? I feel very low and desperate. P.s. Luv u God.
 
Over recent months my priority has been becoming increasingly about doing God’s will. My faith is very very deep but i am very very lonely, and sometimes i have fallen into the sin of despair. My main problem is loneliness. A lot of people around me think my beliefs are extreme(they’re not) and a lot of people just dont realize how lonely i am.

I am only trying to follow the Commandments and theyre not rocket science. I know people who think it makes perfect sense to spend hours on a train to a job they hate, ***** about their boss, get home, watch hours of trash on t.v., pay for gym membership they dont use, get highlights they cant afford, eat until their belly hurts then tell me i’m stupid for not eating meat on Fridays. And i’m apparently insane for believing in the importance of Confession.

I dont tell people how to live their lives but they seem to have a free license to do the same to me.
Why do people treat me this way? I feel very low and desperate. P.s. Luv u God.
I think you have a problem which is not religious but it is human. You have a problem with socialization. Your critic of today’s society is true but a bit cruel.

Each persons lives the life he is able to live with its contradictions, its good and bad points. And I think it is not good for you to sweep everybody under the same carpet. For, there are people who exercise (do you?), who eat well, who manage their finances well, who dont swear, who love their jobs, like me.

I do not know why did you say to them that you do not eat meat on Fridays if their critics hurt you or you tell them your beliefs if their opinions hurt you.

You do seem to be hyper, hyper-sensible, for I do not think their critics are something out of this world. At least in my country, everybody makes fun of everybody and no one pays much attention.

So, either you accept people like they are, even sinners (Jesus was criticized for talking to prostitutes), do not get hurt by anything they say no matter hard and hurtful (Jesus taught us to forgive, forgive, forgive) and you do not feel lonely or you feel hurt for anything they say ( and the average person can be pretty stupid, worse if he adds some drinks) and you are put outside the group and feel lonely.

Lonely and despaired. Rightly so. No one may live outside the society, not even the Christians. Jesus told us to be in this world but not of this world (my English is all right? I am not English speaker).

I think you should trek this arduous way of socializing. You are no solitary monk. There are no more of these like in the early Christians. Jesus wants you to be with His People and share His Teachings with a joyful face, not a sad one.

It is not an easy task, I have learnt to do that along the years, to joke, to drink, to party, to have fun with various types of friends and yet, that they’d know I am a Christian.
 
The point is that im tolerant + forgiving of them and respect their beliefs(or lack of), but i am treated with ridicule.
E.g. I hear someone continually say OMFG but i stay quiet even though it pains me. I try to be patient and not to preach. But if i’m offered a burger on a Friday and say “no thanks,its Friday” they look at me as if i’m an alien.
I guess you dont get what i mean. It doesnt matter. I feel even more lonely now.
 
The point is that im tolerant + forgiving of them and respect their beliefs(or lack of), but i am treated with ridicule.
E.g. I hear someone continually say OMFG but i stay quiet even though it pains me. I try to be patient and not to preach. But if i’m offered a burger on a Friday and say “no thanks,its Friday” they look at me as if i’m an alien.
I guess you dont get what i mean. It doesnt matter. I feel even more lonely now.
If you prefer not to eat meat on fridays (I’m pretty sure thats only required during the Easter season), I would just say no thanks. Not too many people would understand the reasoning behind it being a Friday. Even most catholics would beconfused. So if you don’t want confused looks just say “No, but thanks though!” 🙂

Since you said above you see the importance of confession, I’d guess that you enjoy it (Which is good!). Because of this I recommend bringing your feelings and issues up with the priest while your there, Most people I know always seem to get great advice while there.

Another thing that is good to remember, is that God loves us and wants us to share our life with him. This doesn’t only mean avoiding occasions of sin; but also sharing your happy and great moments with God. When your happy and out with friends, even if they aren’t christian. If your having a great time just silently in your head offer a prayer of thanks to God in your mind.

I recommend just forcing yourself to smile, it might sound dumb but it actually works. If you make yourself smile while with friends, or when doing anything. You will slowly find that you’ll start having fun and enjoying it! 🙂

I hope this helped! God bless; you’ll be in my prayers! 😃
 
i kind of know how you feel, im told i might go crazy if i keep being “extremely” spiritual.
Saint Faustina was called an ecsentric. Your not alone. Though i personally am scrupolis so i sometimes do go to the extreme. and i need to straighten out. I know i cant hide from badly dressed people forever, i have to look at them in the face and see the creature that GOD created.
 
Just think about the example you are setting to others through your observance of the Commandments of God and the Church.
And if they look on you and your practices to be alien it’s because they probably haven’t been exposed to them before.

It’s not easy to be a moral, principled person in a very much secularized world which presents unmoral and ungodly things to be ‘normal’. We live very much in a culture of death, a culture where sin is very prevalent. So many people are dead to sin and they don’t even know it!

Persevere in your faith because at the end of our lives we’ll need it. Don’t be lonely for our Lord is with you his Holy Spirit is guiding you. I would recommend spending some time before our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament because there you won’t be lonely basking in the radiance of our Eucharistic Lord. Also befriend the Saints ask for their intercession.
God Bless You.
 
Over recent months my priority has been becoming increasingly about doing God’s will. My faith is very very deep but i am very very lonely, and sometimes i have fallen into the sin of despair. My main problem is loneliness. A lot of people around me think my beliefs are extreme(they’re not) and a lot of people just dont realize how lonely i am.

I am only trying to follow the Commandments and theyre not rocket science. I know people who think it makes perfect sense to spend hours on a train to a job they hate, ***** about their boss, get home, watch hours of trash on t.v., pay for gym membership they dont use, get highlights they cant afford, eat until their belly hurts then tell me i’m stupid for not eating meat on Fridays. And i’m apparently insane for believing in the importance of Confession.

I dont tell people how to live their lives but they seem to have a free license to do the same to me.
Why do people treat me this way? I feel very low and desperate. P.s. Luv u God.
I think people treat you that way because it bothers their conscience to see someone who thinks of God in ways that they do not.

It would help if you found some friends who are like-minded and supportive. That is how Christian community works.

It is rude of people to bring up topics that are important to you, and then denigrate them. (not eating meat on Fridays, confession, etc.) It would be good if you could avoid their company so as to avoid the negativity.
 
Hi, Bethany!

I understand where you are coming from. Even a lot of practicing Catholics think it odd to try to more than the very basics in the practice of their religion. Jesus told us that the world woul not understand us, that it had never understood Him. The last of the beatitudes says, “Blessed are they who suffer persecution for my name’s sake”. I have been in that situation with my family.

The best advice I got then was from Sister Marguerite. She said that she wasn’t sure God liked the “Me against them” attitude. It made me stop and think . I realized that I had built my fort of faith and was hiding behind its walls defending myself against others. I can’t even tell you how I changed my attitude - the grace of God, I guess; but when she said that to me, I simply said OK, and I felt a complete shift in the way I looked at things.

I try to see things I like about these people now. I realize they are basically good people. They don’t seem to understand my devotion to my faith. I don’t understand the lack of God in their lives. By being kind and relating to things we share, I am in a position where I can see when there is an opportunity to share my faith with them without preaching, sounding superior or putting them on the defensive. God will show me the time and the method.
 
Over recent months my priority has been becoming increasingly about doing God’s will. My faith is very very deep but i am very very lonely, and sometimes i have fallen into the sin of despair. My main problem is loneliness. A lot of people around me think my beliefs are extreme(they’re not) and a lot of people just dont realize how lonely i am.

I am only trying to follow the Commandments and theyre not rocket science. I know people who think it makes perfect sense to spend hours on a train to a job they hate, ***** about their boss, get home, watch hours of trash on t.v., pay for gym membership they dont use, get highlights they cant afford, eat until their belly hurts then tell me i’m stupid for not eating meat on Fridays. And i’m apparently insane for believing in the importance of Confession.

I dont tell people how to live their lives but they seem to have a free license to do the same to me.
Why do people treat me this way? I feel very low and desperate. P.s. Luv u God.
Not really knowing much about you, it’s hard to comment or to say anything that might be helpful.

Understanding why some people jump down on you is easy enough. I recall being in a poultry hatchery once and seeing all the zillions of chicks they hatch out. They carefully removed all of what they called “ethic chicks”; that is, chicks that had something unusual about them; usually a darker spot in their feathers somewhere. Chickens, being somewhat predatory and not at all nice, would peck at that spot or whatever it was until they eventually killed the “ethnic chick”. So, the hatcheries would give away “ethnic chicks” to anyone who wanted them. In barnyards, that are a lot more open than poultry houses, the chickens tend not to hassle “ethic chicks”. One would think humans would act better than chickens, but we don’t always.

We live in a world in which most of us don’t have a whole lot of “open space” around us in any way. Most of us are physically crowded together and socially crowded together. “Our space” is encroached upon a great deal. So, how does a person who, in human terms, is an “ethnic chick” get through it?

Well, I can’t say for sure. I do know that, in my life, I have opted for a lot more space than most have. It has come at a cost, but I was willing to pay it. I don’t socialize to speak of, other than with family and a tiny handful of friends. (I do have a large family.) I live in the country. My “hobby” is ranching. I have my own business by choice, even though in a big organization i would probably make more. So, being “the boss” I don’t have to put up with the nastiness, scatology or jibes of superiors, and certainly not of my own employees. I just plain don’t allow “F-bombs” and such in my place of business and don’t have to care about what anybody thinks of it.

I’m lucky, and I admit it.

I do, however, live in the “buckle of the Bible Belt” where there are few Catholics. I get that “you have dirt on your head” on Ash Wednesday, then incredulous reactions when i explain. “Oh, that’s morbid” I have heard many times. Many are astonished that I go to Mass every week and on holy days. “Huh? You’re going to Church? It’s Tuesday!” I was once asked why Catholics drink blood. Turned out the questioner was aware of a Polish festival where “Czarnina” a soup made of duck’s blood is part of the cuisine. So, I explained that one once I figured out what on earth the woman was talking about. It’s not fashionable around here anymore to taunt Catholics (it was when I was a kid) but I know full well what some of the protestant preachers say about the Church and what their congregants, therefore, think.

But you know, unless you have some kind of psychological thing going (and I’m not saying you do) I can well understand why you are having the problems you have. About all I can tell you is that you very obviously seek (and undoubtedly have) that aura of sanctifying grace about you. You might think of that as a sort of armor or “force field”. None of these things people say can actually harm you. If the devil himself can’t harm you as long as you enfold yourself in God’s grace, then mere humans can’t.

But you know, you have to leave other people in their worlds too, at least for the most part. You’re unlikely to change their ways by confronting them, though, over the long term you might do so by personal example. One way to do that is to be cheerful even if it’s hard to do it. People are, I think, more aware of the spiritual emanations of a devout person than I think we realize. That’s what Opus Dei is all about, for instance. They don’t go around preaching to people. They give a good example and nothing more, unless people wonder about their devotion to duty and cheerfulness and unobtrusive but matter-of-fact religious observance, until someone asks.

And remember, a lot of those people need help themselves but don’t know they do. People aren’t devils, but always remember that evil wants company in its misery, and people who are enveloped in it in their own lives often want to pull others into it with them.

Be of good cheer! Hope this helped.
 
Over recent months my priority has been becoming increasingly about doing God’s will. My faith is very very deep but i am very very lonely, and sometimes i have fallen into the sin of despair. My main problem is loneliness. A lot of people around me think my beliefs are extreme(they’re not) and a lot of people just dont realize how lonely i am.

I am only trying to follow the Commandments and theyre not rocket science. I know people who think it makes perfect sense to spend hours on a train to a job they hate, ***** about their boss, get home, watch hours of trash on t.v., pay for gym membership they dont use, get highlights they cant afford, eat until their belly hurts then tell me i’m stupid for not eating meat on Fridays. And i’m apparently insane for believing in the importance of Confession.

I dont tell people how to live their lives but they seem to have a free license to do the same to me.
Why do people treat me this way? I feel very low and desperate. P.s. Luv u God.
This is so sad. 😦

I will pray for you.
 
Saint Seraphim of Sarov said this:

Acquire interior peace and a multitude will find its salvation through you.

BUT Saint Catherine of Siena says “Without war there is no peace, without combat there is no victory”.

Every Christian must be thoroughly convinced that his spiritual life can in no way be viewed as "the quiet unfolding of an inconsequential life without any problem; rather it must be viewed as the scene of a constant and sometimes painful battle, which will not end until death - a struggle against evil, temptation and the sin that is in him. Peace is often at stake in the struggle. The devil does his utmost to banish peace form one’s heart, because he knows that God abides in peace and it is in peace that He accomplishes great things.
 
YOU WROTE: “I know people who think it makes perfect sense to spend hours on a train to a job they hate, ***** about their boss, get home, watch hours of trash on t.v., pay for gym membership they dont use, get highlights they can’t afford, eat until their belly hurts then tell me i’m stupid for not eating meat on Fridays.”

Good News. Catholics are ALLOWED to eat meat on Fridays. The belief that we can’t is an old belief. It doesn’t exist in the Church anymore. You should not stress yourself for upholding something that the Church doesn’t even teach.

Interestingly, it still says in Canon Law that Catholics are to abstain from eating meat on ALL Fridays of the year. But just because something is written in Canon Law does not mean it must be taken at face value.

Blessed Pope John XXIII declared in the Vatican II documents that the “Friday abstinence” from meat was no longer binding on Catholics at all. The Pope was concerned with legalism. Too many Catholics were abstaining from meat on Fridays out of a legalistic fear of Hell, rather than out of a Love for God. Many things before Vatican II were being done out of fear rather than love. The Council was convened to remove these practices and fears.

Catholic apologist Jimmy Akin has written an article in which he points out that no Catholic is obligated to do ANY fasting, abstinence from meat, or penances on most Fridays at all.

He concludes the article this way:

“Thus I don’t see how–however strong one’s desire may be to find an obligation in the law–one can responsibly conclude that on the matter of obligatory Friday penance the law is not at least doubtful, in which case the doubt of law canon kicks in and tells us that the faithful are not obliged.”

The full article can be read here:

jimmyakin.org/2004/07/more_on_friday_.html

YOU WROTE: “I hear someone continually say OMFG but i stay quiet even though it pains me. I try to be patient and not to preach.”

This is good. We are not mandated to convert others. We are not obligated on pain of sin to go out of our way and “preach” to others when we see something wrong. The Church understands that most people would not listen anyway. If somebody doesn’t actually WANT to talk about religion, such discussions often just descend into arguments. Nobody listens, and everyone ends up angry.

If God wants you to speak about Him, He will send someone your way. It is good to recognize when this happens, and when this DOESN’T happen (which is most of the time.)

Good for you.
 
Thank you all for the replies, there is great wisdom there and its so good being able to get support like this. I know its so hard getting the balance between standing up for your faith whilst being charitable with your neighbour.
As one poster said it is a battle that lasts until death, and i can tell you, the devil’s got it in for me. But i see and feel Jesus’ light inside me and nobody can remove it. It feels like there’s a lamp inside me, lit by Jesus.

I would love more than anything to be granted patience,wisdom and fortitude long-term for the sake of being able to set a good example to those whose paths i cross, according to God’s will.

Thank you
 
Thank you all for the replies, there is great wisdom there and its so good being able to get support like this. I know its so hard getting the balance between standing up for your faith whilst being charitable with your neighbour.
As one poster said it is a battle that lasts until death, and i can tell you, the devil’s got it in for me. But i see and feel Jesus’ light inside me and nobody can remove it. It feels like there’s a lamp inside me, lit by Jesus.

I would love more than anything to be granted patience,wisdom and fortitude long-term for the sake of being able to set a good example to those whose paths i cross, according to God’s will.

Thank you
 
YOU WROTE: “I know people who think it makes perfect sense to spend hours on a train to a job they hate, ***** about their boss, get home, watch hours of trash on t.v., pay for gym membership they dont use, get highlights they can’t afford, eat until their belly hurts then tell me i’m stupid for not eating meat on Fridays.”

Good News. Catholics are ALLOWED to eat meat on Fridays. The belief that we can’t is an old belief. It doesn’t exist in the Church anymore. You should not stress yourself for upholding something that the Church doesn’t even teach.

Interestingly, it still says in Canon Law that Catholics are to abstain from eating meat on ALL Fridays of the year. But just because something is written in Canon Law does not mean it must be taken at face value.

Blessed Pope John XXIII declared in the Vatican II documents that the “Friday abstinence” from meat was no longer binding on Catholics at all. The Pope was concerned with legalism. Too many Catholics were abstaining from meat on Fridays out of a legalistic fear of Hell, rather than out of a Love for God. Many things before Vatican II were being done out of fear rather than love. The Council was convened to remove these practices and fears.

Catholic apologist Jimmy Akin has written an article in which he points out that no Catholic is obligated to do ANY fasting, abstinence from meat, or penances on most Fridays at all.

He concludes the article this way:

“Thus I don’t see how–however strong one’s desire may be to find an obligation in the law–one can responsibly conclude that on the matter of obligatory Friday penance the law is not at least doubtful, in which case the doubt of law canon kicks in and tells us that the faithful are not obliged.”

The full article can be read here:

jimmyakin.org/2004/07/more_on_friday_.html

YOU WROTE: “I hear someone continually say OMFG but i stay quiet even though it pains me. I try to be patient and not to preach.”

This is good. We are not mandated to convert others. We are not obligated on pain of sin to go out of our way and “preach” to others when we see something wrong. The Church understands that most people would not listen anyway. If somebody doesn’t actually WANT to talk about religion, such discussions often just descend into arguments. Nobody listens, and everyone ends up angry.

If God wants you to speak about Him, He will send someone your way. It is good to recognize when this happens, and when this DOESN’T happen (which is most of the time.)

Good for you.
Wow, great post! 👍
 
Hi!

I get lonely sometimes too. My advice is when you are lonely take it to God. I remember one day I was so lonely I was in tears–I prayed to God. That week God sent two people into my life that changed my way of thinking. God will hear you and he will help you. 🙂 Pray and then keep your eyes open to any changes that occur–God is really amazing! 🙂
 
Thanks. I have no doubt that those people were literally God-sent to you. Thanks for the advice. One thing i know for absolute certain is that even though some things might test my faith, no-one can take it away. There’s something going on at the moment between me+God that’s amazing.
 
Thanks. I have no doubt that those people were literally God-sent to you. Thanks for the advice. One thing i know for absolute certain is that even though some things might test my faith, no-one can take it away. There’s something going on at the moment between me+God that’s amazing.
 
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